24. Arriving Cowardly
Disclaimer: AHOY! The lyrics in this chappie aren't my own. Please enjoy and read and review! I promise the next chapter will be MUCH more eventful!
"Where are we sailing to?" Elizabeth asks Jack the following day.
"A place that cannot be found," he replies while at the helm.
"A place that cannot be found—another place that cannot be found?!" She exclaims with laughter.
"Aye indeed, Mrs. Turner!" Jack replies with vigor as he guides the wheel.
"And you're going by your compass?" She asks, pointing to his magical compass.
"That's the first mate's job," he replies, gesturing to me over on the other side of the ship.
"I see," Elizabeth responds with a smile. "So are you two actually together now?"
"'Together' is such an emblematic term," he says, glancing over at me with a smile.
"So you love her?" she asks.
"Again, 'love' is such an exemplary term for something so indistinguishable,"
"Jack, you don't have to beat around the bush with me. I'm not going to tell anybody," she replies with a bright smile.
"I can't say anything right now except that she has my heart and I have hers. That's about it for now,"
"Understandable. But you called her your first mate, Jack. That means something special," she responds wittily.
"Aye, it is something special and that's because she's something special. That, and she gives me good affirmative action," Jack winks at Elizabeth and smiles.
"Oh Jack, that was more information than I needed to know," she says, though still smiling.
"Cap'n! Where's our location?" Gibbs asks Jack.
"Just south of Cuba. We're on our way to gettin' good n' lost, Gibbs," Jack replies.
"Aye, Cap'n! The crew is gettin' a bit restless not knowin' where exactly where we're headed," Gibbs explains.
"Well it's a place that cannot be found, as usual, so the crew must bare with it until it's found," Jack responds as he looks out to sea at the setting sun.
"How much longer d' ye suppose it'll be?" Gibbs asks.
"I suspect we should be there within forty eight hours," Jack replies.
"Good enough," Gibbs states as he leaves and walks across the deck.
"Jack! We need to head that way," I point as I walk up to him and Elizabeth.
"That way?" He asks, quirking an eyebrow at the direction I point.
"Well that's the way the compass is pointing," I reply, holding the compass out towards Jack.
"Hm, well that way we go then," he replies, turning the wheel.
"Want me to take the wheel for a while? " I ask, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, but he turns away.
"No, no, I'm just fine here," he replies, flashing a golden smile at me. I smile back.
"Alright. Well what are my orders, captain?" I ask.
"Bow of the ship. I'll meet ye there in twenty minutes," he replies with a grin. I nod and run off.
"I can't do this, Elizabeth," Jack says finally once I'm gone.
"Can't do what?" She asks.
"I can't love her in front of everyone. I 'ave no problem at all loving 'er in private, but as soon as we're out in the open with eyes wand'rin' about, I just can't allow meself to kiss her back or anythin'" Jack says with a frown.
"Well that's something you're gonna have to get over, Jack, especially if you really do love her," Elizabeth states.
"I do, I just don't know how to," he replies.
"Well go talk to her about it. I'll take the wheel," Elizabeth says, grabbing hold of the wheel from Jack. He reluctantly lets go and pauses.
"I don't know what t' say," he says suddenly.
"Don't be like Will and me and wait until it's too late to love one another. Before you know it, one of you will be gone and you will regret not being together with the time you had," she says sincerely. Jack nods and walks off towards the bow.
He stops as he sees me leaning over the bow railing letting the wind whip through my hair as we sail. I feel free and Jack can see this. He just pauses to watch me in this moment as the golden sun sets, projecting its warm, deep light onto my face. He approaches me slowly.
"Luv," he greets with a smile. I turn to him and smile back.
"Jack," I say when he reaches me.
"How much longer until we reach the island, do you think?" I ask.
"I'm guessing probably no more than forty-eight hours," he replies, gazing outwards to the sea.
"Not too bad," I reply, joining him in his sea-ward gazing. We gaze silently for quite some time and then I finally turn to him.
"Jack, you seem troubled," I break the silence.
"Me? Troubled? Not at all, dahling!" he replies quickly and with a flash of a smile.
"Okay, sorry, you jut seemed bothered," I reply smiling and then gazing back out to sea.
There is more silence as the two of us stare out to sea.
"Luv," Jack says finally, glancing over at me.
"What is it, Jack?" I ask, my heart beginning to beat heavily.
"I can't do this in open eyes. I know I said I would, but I can't," he says finally.
"I never said you had to, Jack. Take your time—like I said," I reply.
"I know. I just feel like I can be with you when we're alone and it's dark out and no one knows, but as soon as there are people around, I just feel that I can't be with ye," he replies.
"Then maybe what we're doing is wrong," I respond coldly, trying to protect my breaking heart.
"Luv, I want this t' happen," he says.
"Well if you want it to happen, then you can't be afraid of what others think. Take your time, but if you feel like you can't let the crew see us together, then we have an problem," I say firmly.
"Why can't we just be t'gether at night?" he asks, winking at his suggestion.
"Because I'm not just some whore to be had, Captain Sparrow," I reply bitterly, turning and then walking away. He just stands there in awe at what just happened, not knowing what to say.
"So how's Jack?" Elizabeth asks as I walk briskly past her to below deck.
"Typical," I reply angrily as I walk down the steps.
"What did he say?" She asks, following me down the stairs. I turn quickly on her.
"That man has broken my heart more than once on more than one occasion. I think it's safe to say that Captain Jack Sparrow will never take a woman to love," I reply, extra loud when I see Jack close by so that he can hear me. He makes eye contact with me as I say these things and then go below deck.
"Jack! What happened?!" Elizabeth exclaims as she runs over to Jack.
"I'm not likely to take a woman to love," he replies, trance-like, his eyes fixated on the stairs.
"Jack, let her be. Don't follow," Elizabeth responds.
"I've truly turned things for the worse this time," he replies solemnly and then turning for the helm.
"I don't understand! What happened?!" Elizabeth yells as she chases after him.
"I'm goin' t' stick with the things I know best—and that's pirating," Jack replies as he takes the wheel.
"Jack, she loves you and you love her," Elizabeth states, pleadingly.
"I know, but it'll never work between us. She knows how t' make things work and I know 'ow to make things worse," Jack explains as he turns the wheel.
0 0 0
The night and next day go by and neither Jack nor I speak to each other except for necessary things, like orders. And just as Jack had predicted, we had one more night aboard ship before landing ashore the island.
The night before landing on the hidden island, I am standing at the bow admiring the stars and galaxies above me that blend right into the blackness of the ocean.
"How long are we goin' to go on not talkin', love?" Jack asks from behind me. I turn to him and then turn back to the abyss beyond.
"I suppose once the song is finally buried," I reply finally.
"So, then the song is buried," he states flatly. There is silence between us for some time and then I turn to him.
"Jack, you're a coward. You tell me one thing and then act another because you're afraid. I understand there's a lot to be afraid of, but you either have to let go now, or never let go at all," I say, and then turn back to the ocean.
Jack just stands there watching me watch the ocean and then walks away. Once he's gone, I turn my head to where he stood and my eyes fill up with tears seeing that he's actually left. I shut my eyes tightly so to not cry for him. I keep them closed until I am sure all the tears have gone and then re-open them to feats my endless gaze upon the eternal ocean.
0 0 0
The sun rises the following morning, bright and golden above the island before us. I had spent the night on the ship bow and woke as soon as the sun peeked over the horizon. I stand at the railing once more, gazing at the island in the far off distance.
"Land ho!" Gibbs calls from the crow's nest.
I look and see Jack emerge from his cabin and turn and talk to Elizabeth. They both walk to the helm and Jack takes the wheel. I turn away from the railing and make my way to the main deck. I walk past Jack, feeling his strong gaze at my back as I past him and down the stairs to below deck and then further down. I make my way over to the 'permanently borrowed piano' Jack stowed away for me on our first voyage together. I take a seat at the piano and begin to play it quietly.
"Ooh, ooh…I will not make the same mistake that you did, I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard. I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far…" I sing Kelly Clarkson's song quietly as I play the song.
"That's beautiful," Elizabeth says from behind me.
"Thanks," I reply stopping and turning to face her.
"You know Jack loves you," she says finally.
"I am so sick of hearing that. If he loves me, let him prove it to me," I say getting up from the piano, kneeling on the bench and opening up the top of the piano where I hid the lyrics and music to the song. I reach in and retrieve them, fold them gently and carefully place them in my shirt, right above my heart.
"He will," she says with hope.
"We'll see," I respond plainly and walk past her and up the stairs.
Up on deck, I creep into Jack's cabin and retrieve my sword and other things I will need ashore. I look in the mirror and fix myself up a bit, slide the sword into its sheath at my side and then creep out of the room.
"We've arrived," Gibbs says to me once I am out of the cabin.
"I noticed! I'm getting a bit nervous," I reply with a uneasy smile.
"Nothing t' worry about, miss. Nothin's on this island that can 'arm us," Gibbs says.
"That and Norrington, Davy Jones and Beckett are all out o' the way so they can't stop us, luv," Jack says from behind. I turn to him, still smiling.
"Don't jinx us Jack," I reply, still grinning, "nothing in life worth having comes easily,"
"I know that dahling, but the odds are in our favour," he says with a golden smile and then looks to his side. "Ready the boats!"
"Aye captain!" Gibbs exclaims
"Jack, promise me one thing before we go ashore," I say, not looking at him, but, rather, looking directly past him.
"Anything," he says.
"Don't leave me," I say.
"I promise," he replies. I nod and then walk away from him towards the boat.