Disclaimer: CLAMP owns stuff and things and all this.

--

By the time they stopped for the night it had gotten considerably colder and the snow was falling at a steady pace. The path had grown increasingly more obscured as they traveled and had by now all but disappeared beneath the snow and the overgrowth of twisted trees and brambles. They stopped in a small clearing partially protected by the ring of trees whose dark branches all but obscured the sky. Kurogane had been reluctant to allow a fire but had built one anyway, seeing the way Sakura shivered even under the thick blankets.

Sakura had only just fallen asleep. The girl had insisted on keeping the first watch, and Kurogane had agreed only because he knew that even he couldn't go on for days without any sleep. Mokona had stayed awake with Sakura and had promised to wake Kurogane at even the slightest hint of danger.

Despite their assurances, Kurogane had only dozed, his back against one of the trees. Sakura had finally succumbed to sleep and lay curled in the blankets on the far side of the fire, Mokona wrapped in her arms. Kurogane leaned back and stared into the fire, his sword lying within arm's reach beside him. He was listening for something.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed before he heard the wings. Kurogane didn't even turn as the quiet flapping turned into light footfalls and Fai walked out of the shadows.

Kurogane stood and turned to face him, but did not pick up his sword. The blond man stood leaning one arm against the tree, a lopsided smile on his face. A long, bloody scratch ran down the left side of his face, over one closed eye.

"You idiot." Kurogane was surprised at the venom in his own voice.

"That's mean, Kuro-pon," Fai replied. He was still smiling, but his voice shook.

Kurogane didn't reply, instead reaching forward and dragging Fai into a sitting position.

"Wait here." The dark-haired man walked over to where they'd left the packs, digging around for a moment before returning with a roll of bandages. He squatted down next to Fai and began to bandage the injured eye. "Hold still."

"You don't have to," Fai said lightly.

"Shut up," Kurogane snapped in reply. He nodded towards where Sakura slept. "You saved her." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Fai said quietly. They sat there in silence for a long moment as Kurogane continued to bandage the eye. When he finished, the dark-haired man rose and moved to sit on Fai's other side, where he could see the one visible eye.

"Why?" Kurogane asked.

"I told you, Kuro-pin," Fai said. "I don't want you to get hurt. Either of you."

"So you'll get yourself hurt instead," Kurogane snorted.

"That was a mistake," Fai admitted. "But Kuro-rin was quick to jump in, so I was able to get away."

"Were you following us?"

"I've been with you since you were at Yuuko-san's," Fai said. "I thought you of all people would've noticed, Kuro-pin."

"How long are you going to do that?" Kurogane asked darkly. "We're not turning back. Are you going to stop us, or are you just going to follow?"

"I'll do what I have to," Fai said. There was a forced cheer in his voice, but Kurogane could hear a defensive note behind it. The blond turned his single eye towards where Sakura slept, and when he spoke his voice was soft and thoughtful. "If I hadn't been there, she might have been hurt. She might get hurt more if you reach the castle. Can you live with that, Kuro-pi? If something happens to her, and it's your fault?"

"She was the one who decided to do this," Kurogane replied. "I'm only here to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. If something happens, something happens. The threat of that isn't going to make me turn back, or I'd never have agreed to come in the first place."

Fai laughed quietly, shaking his head.

"That is something you'd say, isn't it?" the blond murmured. He turned to look at Kurogane, and the fire cast strange shadows on his face. "Tell me, Kuro-rin…do you believe in fate? Or bad luck?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Kurogane muttered. "I make my own luck, and I decide my own fate."

"I thought you'd say that." Fai stood. "But it's an easy thing for someone like Kuro-tan to say. I can't do that, and that's why I want you to turn back." He turned to leave.

"You're not getting away that easily." Kurogane grabbed roughly onto his wrist, rising as he did so. "Why do you keep coming here, if you're trying to make us turn back? Why don't you just give the kid back I you're so worried?"

"Because I have no choice!" Fai snapped. He was clearly angry, and Kurogane found himself surprised at the emotion. He had never seen Fai angry before. "As for why I keep coming here, I've told you. I don't want you to die. That should be enough of an answer."

"It's not," Kurogane said flatly. "You keep talking about how we're going to die if we keep going, and so far all we've met are worthless bandits and cold weather. What are you so afraid of here?"

"Myself." Fai's smile was a death's head grin in the firelight. "I told you, Kuro-puu. Bad luck. The power of misfortune. You're better off not being near me."

Kurogane started to reply but was cut off by the sound of Sakura stirring. He glanced across the fire towards where the girl slept. Sakura muttered something sleepily under her breath and rolled over, snuggling Mokona to her chest. Kurogane watched her for a moment more, then made a decision.

"Come on." He dragged Fai forward into the trees.

"Kuro-pon?" Fai's voice was questioning, and Kurogane refused to turn back and look at him as he dragged the blond forward.

"We're going to get far enough away that she won't wake up, and then you are going to talk to me, dammit," Kurogane snapped. "And you're going to tell me what the hell is going on, even if I have to stick a sword through your ribs first."

Kurogane walked until he was satisfied that they were far enough away from the camp that Sakura wouldn't wake, but close enough that he could still see the light of the fire through the trees. He finally released Fai's hand and sat down on a large rock, waiting.

"Well?"

Fai stood in front of him, his one visible eye narrowed in thought. His face was grim and hard to read in the dim moonlight, and he didn't seem at all affected by the cold wind and snow-covered ground, despite his thin boots and tattered cloak.

"You're too stubborn, Kuro-mu," he said at last, and sat down on the ground beside Kurogane's rock. The snow did not wet his clothing and he didn't shiver at all. "You can't let me get away with the easy things."

Kurogane didn't answer, waiting. Fai sighed.

"Do you know what they called me in my village, Kuro-tan?" Fai asked. "A child of misfortune. That village is far to the north, you know, even farther than this country. It was very cold, and there were none of the spells there that cover this land, spells which let people thrive even in perpetual winter. My people lived by hunting game and cultivating the few crops that can grow in harsh weather. In that land, people usually have dark hair and dark skin, and what little magic runs in their veins is very thin. This" -- Fai ran a hand through his blond hair – "is a sign of bad luck. Blue eyes and blond hair and pale skin. I was cursed from the moment I was born."

"That's stupid," Kurogane said bluntly. Fai laughed mirthlessly.

"Of course you'd say that. But not everyone is like Kuro-rin. And besides…" Fai trailed off for a moment. "There are things you learn, when you have magic. And one of those things is the power of words. When Kuro-tan says things are stupid and believes it, then things are stupid. When people tell you that you bring misfortune and mean it, and keep meaning it, then maybe it comes true even if it's not. And in time, everything you do seems like misfortune, every movement betrays you." He shrugged then and smiled. "Don't listen to me, Kuro-pyon. I think you've made me stupid that way, by meaning it, that's all."

"You were already stupid before I met you," Kurogane stated.

"Of course," Fai said brightly. His voice grew quiet. "They locked me up, after a while. There was a high tower in the mountains by the village, left over from a long-ago war. No one knew what to do with me, so they left me there. And I could see outside, the snow and the sky and everything, but I couldn't leave that cage."

"Why didn't you use your great magic powers to get out?" There was only the barest hint of mockery in Kurogane's voice.

"I didn't know how to use them. Things just happened, when I got angry or upset."

"You weren't angry at being locked in a tower?"

"Not really." Fai shook his head. "I suppose you'll say that's another stupid thing. A guy like Kuro-kichi would be mad and fight to get out if he was locked up. But I wasn't. I didn't feel angry or bitter or sad or anything. It just seemed like that was the way things should be."

"Then it is another stupid thing," Kurogane said.

"I know. I'm very stupid, Kuro-puu, I thought you knew that." Fai stared up at the tree branches above and the sky beyond. "I don't know how long I was there. I could see the snow and the sky outside and hear life outside, but I never knew how many days passed. It was just that I was in that place for a long long time, and then the door opened one day, and the town elders were there and they were older than I remembered them. They took me by the hand and led me out and talked nicely to me, and then they led me to the edge of town and told me to go away and not come back. And that was it."

"And you weren't angry at all?" Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "At those old idiots."

"They did what they thought was best," Fai said. "They were afraid, Kuro-rin. Even as they led me out, I could feel it, that they were terrified of me. I didn't want to do anything to them. I didn't want to do anything at all. So when they told me to go, I went, because there was nothing else I wanted to do."

Fai went very quiet then. When the magician spoke again, Kurogane thought he could see some strange change coming over the blond's features. The blue eye grew dull and sunken, and the blond hair ragged and tangled. Fai's already pale skin seemed to grow paler and paler still, until it was a frozen blue, and Fai's voice seemed low and gasping in the wind.

"I wandered for a very long time," Fai murmured, as if in a dream. "Until I couldn't feel anything at all but cold and wind and snow. The landscape looked the same wherever I went, and there was no food. There was nothing to do there but die, I remember that. I remember I wasn't cold anymore but I couldn't move, and everything was numb and my chest hurt and I only wanted to sleep. And then King Ashura found me and breathed life back into me, and I was warm again for the first time in a very long while."

Fai shook his head and then he was himself again, and Kurogane found himself wondering if what he'd seen before was only a trick of the moonlight, or if he'd just seen what Fai really looked like, when the smiles and masks and everything were stripped away. Wondered if that was what Fai really was in the end, frozen and dying in every moment even as he breathed.

"So what does this have to do with kid?" Kurogane asked, so that he wouldn't have to think about Fai that way.

"The power of misfortune," Fai said with a bitter laugh. "I lived with King Ashura for a very long time, and he taught me how to use my magic. But a curse is a curse, even if no one speaks it, and it stays as long as you believe in it. I tried to make something for the king, to show my gratitude. I wanted to make him something beautiful. And I failed. The magic mirror I created grew dark and shattered and time went away with it. The magic coated this land and where it touched, frost came. The same goes for the people who touched the shards. The largest shard is lodged in King Ashura's heart. And the final one is in Syaoran-kun's eye."

"Final one?" Kurogane repeated.

"That's what Mokona was for," Fai said. "Yuuko-san wouldn't save King Ashura, but she gave me the means to do it myself. Using Mokona, I gathered up the people who had shards lodged inside them and gathered them together. They call to each other. If I could get them all together, I thought the mirror would re-form itself." Fai laughed again, the sound hollow and painful. "But like Kuro-run says, I'm an idiot. While I was away from the castle, the magic I released tightened its grip on the kingdom and the castle. I returned to find all the people I'd gathered were nothing more than bones."

"So you took the kid away to die?" Kurogane wished he'd brought his sword with him.

"No," Fai said severely. "When the people died, the glass shards remained. Syaoran-kun is the last one left. If he can fix the mirror with his own hands, he'll be saved, and so will King Ashura. I'm protecting him myself this time; he won't die as long as I'm here." Fai shifted in his seat. "I'm protecting him, so he won't die."

"How do you know that?" Kurogane knew it was cruel, but he said it anyway. "What are you going to do if he can't fix anything? Are you going to leave him here forever?"

"He'll fix it," Fai said fiercely. "He's close, Kuro-rin. He's very close. This should work, this should fix things." Fai gave him a crooked smile. "It's all my fault, you know. That it was Syaoran-kun. Because I thought I was done, I was finished, I had them all…and I was wrong, so I followed Mokona and ended up in that village. And then you came and I met Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun and I thought that it was a nice place and I would like to stay there, maybe. So of course it was Syaoran-kun. That's the way things have always been for me."

"Stop talking nonsense again," Kurogane snorted. "Things happen. There's no such thing as bad luck, or being cursed. You make your own luck."

"You do," Fai said wryly. "Because you're Kuro-tan. I'm not that person. I can't be."

"Because you're too busy running from everything," Kurogane snorted. "I hate idiots like you. Hiding behind all that crap about 'misfortune.' You make your own destiny and you know it, you're just too much of a coward to accept it."

"Maybe I am." Fai laughed and it hurt Kurogane's ears to hear it. "I'm an idiot and a coward who always runs away. That's all I am." He stood as if to go, then stopped and looked back at Kurogane. His face had changed suddenly in the light. Kurogane had a momentary glimpse of the Fai he'd seen before, gasping and dying in the cold, but in the shadows he could see the Fai who had stood atop the gates when they'd first entered this country, the proud imperious Fai who could kill him if he desired. It didn't look like Fai's face at all in that light, with the shadows on his skin and only one eye.

"This is the last time I can help you, Kurogane," Fai murmured, and Kurogane raised an eyebrow at the use of his full name. "If you keep coming after me, you'll die. Bad things happen to people who come near me. That's why you have to turn back."

"You're a bigger fool than I thought if you think that's going to convince me," Kurogane said flatly. A hint of a smile crossed Fai's face.

"This is all I can do for you, then." Fai reached into his cloak and handed Kurogane two black feathers. "Soon you'll reach the silver lamp that marks the path to King Ashura's castle. When you get there, leave your horses. Give one of those feathers to Sakura-chan and take the other yourself. Mokona will be fine on its own. This is the only thing I can do to help you. If you try to take Syaoran-kun away, I will stop you, Kurogane." Fai lowered his head and his hair obscured his one visible eye. "I can't let you take him back, not when I'm so close. I can't let you interfere."

"Then why are you giving me these?" Kurogane snorted. "How do I know this isn't some stupid trick?"

"You don't," Fai said bluntly. "But you know it's not. You're not stupid, Kurogane. As for why I'm giving them to you…." Fai's voice trailed off and he turned away. "If you don't take them and don't turn back, then there's nothing I can do. I don't want…but never mind that. This is all I can do for you if you won't listen to me."

Without another word, Fai began to walk away, pulling his cloak tighter around him until all Kurogane could see was a black crow melting into the shadows.

Kurogane tucked the two feathers inside his cloak and headed back towards the fire.

--

The castle stood quiet and cold against the bleak sky and there was no wind. Nothing moved except the small black crow that flew steadily towards the structure, circling the once-magnificent towers, a speck of black among the winter white that covered even the sky. The bird settled onto a windowsill on the lowest tower and shook the snow off of its feathers, and then Fai sat there, a thin layer of snow frosting in his hair and one eye still bandaged.

He sat balanced precariously on the windowsill for some time, staring out the way he had just come. The only movement he could see came from the steadily falling snow. Besides that, there was nothing, not even the faintest gust of wind shaking tree branches. He could see, far below, figures standing stiff as statues, all covered in a layer of snow. The castle itself seemed to be crumbling beneath the weight of the cold. It was as if nothing had lived in this place for a very long time, as if it had always been standing here in this spot, alone, timeless, unchanging.

Fai shivered, but not from the cold. He wrapped his tattered cloak tighter around his shoulders all the same, turning himself to face back inside the castle. He jumped easily off the windowsill and let his magic carry him safely to the floor.

He remembered a time when this place was warm, when people would greet him as he walked the halls. No one greeted him now except the frozen statues and the empty echoes. Fai kept his eye cast low and walked quickly so that he wouldn't have to see any of them.

He entered the throne room and gave a small sigh of relief, a slight smile appearing on his face.

"You're doing well," Fai murmured as he walked over to where Syaoran still sat, methodically sorting through shards of glass. What looked to be half a mirror was laid out before him. Fai placed a hand on Syaoran's shoulder, but the boy didn't look up.

Syaoran's skin was ice cold under his fingers, and the smile dropped off Fai's face. He leaned in closer to Syaoran's face, studying the boy intently.

Syaoran was paler than he should be. His breathing was heavier and his movements were sluggish. Fai felt a shiver run up his spine.

I'm protecting him, so he won't die. Fai's own words came back to him. He covered his face with a hand for moment, breathing deep.

He could feel unseen things around him, circling him like always, and he grabbed one, grabbed it tightly and pulled.

Fai took his hand away and looked back down at Syaoran. The boy's breathing was steadier now, the skin a healthier color.

It won't last, a mutinous voice in the back of Fai's head murmured. The spell's already beginning to slip. You won't be able to fix it next time. Next time there will only be bones and one last shard and another broken thing you will never be able to fix.

He turned away and ascended the stairs to the throne. King Ashura sat where Fai had left him, unmoving; a statue with eyes that followed Fai's every movement. Fai stood before him for some time, unable to speak.

"I'm sorry," Fai murmured at last, falling to his knees and resting his head on the king's lap. "I couldn't stop him. Them. I'm sorry." Fai took a shuddering breath.

Fai closed his eye and let himself fall asleep with King Ashura's hands running through his hair.