Naruto May Cry
(Here is the new chapter! But before I begin, I need to apologize for the miscount on the pairing and for not updating sooner. So here is the correct pairing count.
Hinata – 12
Anko – 18
Kurenai – 1
Harem – 5
Tenten – 3
Ino – 0
Tsunade –1
Shizune – 0
Sakura – 0
Hanabi – 1
Tayuya – 1
Hana – 0
Temari – 1
None – 1
I also might not have clarified on this or mentioned this at all so I apologize. I will not do Yaoi, I have nothing against it but I just can't do it. Yuri on the other hand I can do but doesn't pertain to this fic what so ever so let's just start the show!)
Chapter 4: Getting Settled In and Violent Meetings
"Man that was the best pizza I ever ate in my life!" Naruto said patting his stomach after gorging on ten extra large, everything on top pizza.
"I'm glad you liked it so much," His waitress said with a serene smile on her face, "But I'm surprised you can eat so much and stay so slim, I'm jealous of you."
Even though she was jealous, her eyes held a hint of lust as it size up our hero. Of course this did not go by unnoticed.
"See anything you like here… um," Naruto looked at her nametag, "Sayo-chan?"
The waitress named Sayo blushed heavily while Naruto laughed.
"You're so mean!" She said to him with a mocking pout expression.
"I know," Naruto said reaching out and scooping her up and setting her on to his lap with his face inches away from hers, "But I can be so much more if I wanted to."
He licked her ear earning him a moan from his captive waitress. He suddenly set her into another chair and placed the money on the table with a sizable tip.
"Can you tell me how long you're open?" Naruto asked her with a smile.
"I'm open for as long as you stay," Sayo teased earning a tinge of red from Naruto, "ha ha ha, I'm only kidding, we're open until eight at night."
"Good," Naruto said as he left, "Because you'll be seeing me everyday from now on."
Naruto mounted his bike and rode off, 'Now I need to meet with the old man for living arrangements'
Over at the Hokage's tower
Sandaime was having a relaxing time smoking on his favorite pipe. The reason he could relax today was because he had finished all the paper-works for today and nothing has troubled him yet. Yep. Things were good for the Sandaime Hokage.
'Ahhh, I wish I could do the everyday,' Sandaime thought as he listened to the sounds of nature, 'The birds are singing, people are chatting, the cicadas are making their noises… wait a minute, it's close to winter, there shouldn't be any cicadas around.'
Soon the doors to his office burst open, barely on it's hinges and Naruto's motorcycle skidded to a stop inches away from the desk.
"Hey ji-san, I'm here to know where I can live." Naruto said with a smirk on his face.
Sandaime sighed and internally cried, "I set you a place in between my house and the tower; But, I also made sure you had a house near the forest and also contained your own training ground."
Sandaime gave him a scroll which could be assumed as the deed to the house and a small unique key.
"The previous owner was a strange man and made all locks in his house very unique. That key should be able to let you in most of the rooms."
"Most?"
"The other keys are yet to be found and the doors seemed to be covered in some protective seals so no-one can force an entrance."
"Thanks Ji-chan. I'll be back if there is anything else." Naruto said as he picked up the bike like it was nothing and started to walk out the door.
"Oh, Naruto, one more thing," Naruto stopped and turned his head, "I had some of your basic necessities bought and placed at your houses front door."
Our hero nodded and walked out.
Outside the Tower
Naruto let out a big yawn as he set his motorcycle down and looked at the deed and key. He smiled as he looked down at one of the scrolls hanging off of him.
'Damn, I can't wait!' He thought as he mounted his ride and sped off towards the house. It didn't take long for him to find it. The house was the only one on its side of the street. At first glance, it looked just like any other two-story house, but it let out an aura of mystery that peaked one's curiosity. Naruto walked up to the door and put the key in. almost instantly the key started to turn on its own and the house seemed to have powered itself up. They door then swung open and showed the entrance. It was dark at first until the lights started to turn on one by one until the entire entrance as well as the hall that it was connected to turned on brightening up the area. Naruto drew his longsword out, took the key, and slowly entered the house. As soon as he entered the door shut on its own.
He didn't care much about it and continued his way into the house. The key allowed him access to the now free to enter: bathroom, kitchen, guest bedroom, six out of the twelve closets which apparently were filled with different assortments of pocky, the storage, living room, and the master bedroom whioch was pretty much the whole first floor. The master bedroom was the last room Naruto went to. It looked just like any other bedroom, bare and devoid of anything it previously held. Naruto slowly entered the room when he noticed that there was a loose floorboard in the far corner of the room, he could tell this because of the slight color difference in the wood. Naruto walked to it and lifted it up to see a small black box inside. Cautiously he opened it to see three keys of different size, shape, length, and style.
'I guess the ninja's didn't search thoroughly enough. Heh, I'll have to report this to the old man later.' He thought as he turned back to go through the other previously inaccessible doors and closets. The first key he used opened up the rest of the closets. Unlike the other closets, two contained piles of money (go figure that one out), three were just plain empty, but the last one was very odd. It was too small to be considered a room, but had enough space and a lifting door that led to the back of the house.
'I could use this as my garage.' Naruto thought, 'The more I look the more I like.'
The second key gave him access to some stairs leading to three more doors on the second story. The last one Naruto guessed opened the rest of the doors. He walked over to the closest door and used the key. This led him to a small relaxation room filled with comfortable patio chairs with a wall made entirely out of glass to look out at the peaceful view of the forest. He then proceeded to the next door to find it there was nothing there. He then continued to the last room, which happens to be a study room, which astonished him. Once he entered the door the room immediately widened to one fourth of the size of Konoha Public Library. He looked through the immense shelves to find over ninety percent of the books and scrolls were on various topics gen, nin, tai, ken, medical, and present kinjutsu's and how to perform and perfect them. Naruto now wondered on who could collect so much without anyone's knowledge until he came upon a desk in the what appeared to be the center of the room. He looked at the desk for a moment until he spotted an envelope hidden under a few other papers. Naruto sheathed his sword, picked up the letter and read it.
It read:
To whomever can enter the house,
I congratulate you on having found the keys to this room and the rest of the house! I created this house to protect the rich knowledge I collected over my lifetime. If you are a ninja and are wondering how I could collect this vast knowledge, I am…was a sennin that presided over the collective knowledge of the shinobi world. I chose to store them in Konoha because the souls of these people showed me they would not abuse the knowledge and power for their own gains. But just in case one should ever arise, I made the keys and seals to prevent invasions and theft of these potentially dangerous knowledge. The keys and the seals on the doors were a first level of protection. There are more to behold but I am getting ahead of myself. To Gain full ownership, take this letter and go to the empty room. Set this letter in the middle and pour some of your blood on the letter. Then the house will judge you to see if you are worthy. If the house accepts, you can use that room to visually learn everything in the scrolls contained here by doing the same process with the scrolls.
That is all.
Sennin of Knowledge
"Well, that was very informative," Naruto said sarcastically, "Well, better get it out of the way."
Four weeks later
By using his doppelganger ability, he furbished the entire first floor. His kitchen was now filled with all the essentials… which pretty much consisted frozen box pizzas, mini-pizzas, and several cans and bottles of non-alcoholic beer. He also acquired a liking for pocky and now ate several boxes as a snack. His bedroom now contained a Giant plasma screen TV. The latest in computer technology, and a few demons he sealed into plaques and hung up on his wall. If you looked closely, you could see seals of weird origin on the plaques as well as some of the furniture.
Naruto now sat in the restaurant eating pizza when he remembering how he made some of those seals.
Flash back to First day
Naruto was in the empty room with the letter in the middle. He took out a dagger from one of the scrolls and cut his palm. The blood started to flow off on to the letter. At first nothing major happened but soon lines of light started to shoot out from under the letter and soon spread across the room. Soon creatures that resembled Pride and Greed from when he was with Dante-shishou started to appear en mass.
"Well, ain't this a bitch," Naruto grinned and unsheathed his long sword, "Well, now I have something fun to do to entertaine myself!"
The demons started to attack with their scythes and tri-point spears. Naruto ducked under the swings and stabs. Unfortunately for the demons, their attacks hit the others turning them to dust. Naruto smirked and ran straight at an oncoming attack.
He ducked under this attack also he positioned himself into a jumping stance and yelled, "Rising sun!" In an instance Naruto was up in the air with the sword raised high while the demon was sliced right down the middle. Naruto flipped in mid-airand landed on an oncoming demons. he quickly sheathed his sword and brought out A and D.
"Waaaahoooo!" NAruto kicked off the floor and started to move forward as though the demon was a spinning skateboard and started to shoot at an extremely fast rate. Soon half the demons in the room were gone as for they turned to dust.
"Time for the finisher," Naruto said to himself as he jumped up into the air and grasped the hilt of the broadsword at his side, "Air slice massacre!"
Naruto unsheathed the sword at an ungodly speed and a vortex appeared out of the sheath and the sword. Every demon the sword was pointed at disintegrated in an instant or tossed around by the vortex from the sheath that they were torn asunder.
All the demons in the room were gone in a matter of moments. Naruto landed and sheathed the blade. And in the place of the letter was a katana. But it wasn't an ordinary katana for it didn't have a blade. Naruto picked it up and looked at it for a moment when he suddenly felt a jolt of electricity run down his arm. He dropped the blade but felt it call to him. He reached out to it and grasped it again. Soon a red cloth at the end of the hilt wrapped around his fore arms and held fast to his hand too. He now felt a pull to his demonic chakra. Naruto decided to see what it meant and let some chakra seep into the hilt. A red glow started to come out of the hilt. Seeing this, Naruto let out more of his demonic chakra as well as the human chakra he had into the hilt. Soon the hilt glowed with the brilliance of the sun. In a flash of light where there used to be nothing was a blood red blade five shaku long (Which I think was about three yards. Correct me if I am wrong.) Naruto swung the blade as a blade of blue energy shot out and explode.
"Ahh, I see you received the gift."
Naruto turned around to see an old man standing where the sword and the letter previously lay.
"Who the hell are you?" Naruto asked as he pointed the sword at the man's face.
"Heh heh heh,you wouldn't hurt an old man like me would you?" the old man asked as he pushed the sword away.
"Looks can be deceiving." He replied to the old man pointing the sword at the man's face, "Now who are you?"
"I am many things. I am the letter, the sword your holding," Naruto looks at the sword, "but I am the guardian of the house. I took the form of the previous owner because he created me and I am to protect this house as well as the new owner I approve of."
At this point the old Naruto would have made a smart ass comment, but…
"Zzzzzzzzzz…"
Naruto was asleep while holding the sword at the man. he face-faults.
"Will you listen gaki!" The old man said as he whacked Naruto over the head with a cane he got from nowhere.
"OW! Damn it!"
"Now that I have your attention, I'll explain."
(This part doesn't really have any relevance to the fic what so ever so I'll skip it.)
"Now to help you protect the house even more, here." The old man tossed a scroll to Naruto who caught it.
"What the hell is this?"
"It's a scroll on how to create Guardians that attack anyone that tries to go through personal items, money, secrets, and anything else you can think of," The man said, "It will protect everything you can't… it did my master so it will work for you too."
Naruto just smirked, "I'll be back tohear to learn all those jutsu's later.
End Flashback
Naruto smirked as he remembered he had to go get his team assignment in a couple more weeks. During that time he has done nothing but train and has now mastered 2 D-ranked, 13 C-ranked , 25 B-ranked, 7 A-ranked, 4 S-ranked, and 10 forbidden techniques out of the library. This normally wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't for the fact Naruto's already high learning curve with the merging between him and the Kyuubi tripled it so he was pretty much a super absorbent sponge for learning. He now knew more techniques than the Sandaime Hokage.
Naruto now currently was spending time in the pizza shop eating his fiftieth slice of pizza.
Sayo was now on her break watched in amazement as to how a child could eat so much but stay so slim.
Mean while, a special Jounin by the name of Mitarashi Anko, was pissed beyond belief. Her favorite dango shop was now replaced by a pizza shop.
'What the hell is so great about a pizza shop anyway?' She thought as she entered the shop.
"Hello ma'am, can I take your order?" a girl said with a smile on her face.
"Get me some sake. And what ever you have that's good."
"Coming right up."
Soon the sake came with the house specialty pizza. Anko looked at it for a moment then picked up a slice.
'Well, here goes nothing.' She thought as she bit into the slice and chewed for a moment.
"…………."
"So, how do you like the pizza?" Anko's waitress asked.
"This…"
"This…"
"Yes?"
"TASTES LIKE CRAP!!" Anko shouted at the top of her lungs, "How Could such garbage take over the dango shop that used to be here?! Blasphemy I tell you!"
While Anko was raving and shouting about her horrible disgust for the food, our hero was getting angry at the bitch who dared diss the food of the gods.
"WHY I SHOULD…"
"Shut up!"
Anko stopped her tirade to look at the bastard who dared tell her to shut up. She spotted Naruto eating a slice of pizza.
"Oi Gaki, did you say something to me?" Anko asked in a threatening voice as she glared daggers at him.
Naruto looked up with a matching glare, "Yeah, I said shut up, you shouting makes my pizza taste like crap."
"Oh, I make your food taste like crap, do I?" Anko said with a nerve poking out of her forehead, "Well, let's see how good it tastes after this!"
Anko rushed towards Naruto. But to Naruto's surprise, she didn't go after him, she went after the table.
Naruto was a little too late to save the rest of his pizza. He now was on all fours mourning for the desecration of his food.
"Ha! Serves you right asshole!" Anko declared feeling a little better about her shop being gone.
Naruto finally snapped.
"You cold heated bitch… you'll pay for this!" Naruto shouted as he slowly stood up.
"What are you going to do about it gaki?"
Naruto turned his head and released a shit load of killing intent. Anko of course being the apprentice to the cold-blooded pedophile Orochimaru, wasn't phased at all from it.
But what did faze her was the fact Naruto pulled out Angel and shot a bullet that nicked her face and buried itself into the wall behind her.
Anko took her hand to the nicked are to feel blood flowing. Contrary to belief, even though Anko loved the sight of blood, she hated and I mean HATED to see her own blood flow. She also hates, and will kill, anyone who does bodily harm to her or is a giant pervert.
It was on.
"You bastard, you want to play rough. I'll give you rough!" Anko pulled out a kunai and started to charge forward until she felt the back of her coat being held. She looked back to see Ibiki along with several anbu, most of whom were hiding behind Ibiki or the entrance because they had a bad experience with Anko at one point in their life or another.
"Let me go Ibiki! I need to kill that bastard!" Anko yelled as she struggled to get out of Ibiki's grip.
"Well, that 'Bastard'is being called by Hokage-sama so you're going to postpone your little revenge for later." He told her in a commanding fashion. Once she was calm enough, Ibiki let her go. Naruto just holstered his guns.
"Thanks for calming that crazy lady down." Naruto said still a little angry at the loss of his pizza.
"Hokage-sama wants to talk to you a.s.a.p. so get going." Ibiki said in a calm manner.
"Whatever. See ya later Sayo-chan. I'll be back for dinner." Naruto waved to Sayo and left.
As soon as he was gone Anko looked at Ibiki, "Why'd you stop me for!?"
"It's bad for this business."
"Well, this place isn't that great."
"That kid would most likely disagree."
"Who cares?"
"Anooooo…" Sayo said trying to get the attention of the two shinobi.
"What?" they both said at the same time.
"Well, here is your bill and Naruto forgot to pay for his pizza and you caused a lot of ruckus so here is the amount you owe." Sayo said handing her a long list of prices.
"…" Anko looked at the list.
"THAT BASTARD IS GOING TO PAY!" Anko shouted. At the same time, all the males in Konoha shivered or dropped to the ground convulsing in fear for some unkown reason.
Ibiki looked over at the tab. He didn't see anything odd at first but as he went through the list, it became obvious to him.
"You're stuck paying for his meals. Huh, that sucks." He said before shunshin-ed out of the place before Anko could hurt him.
To be continued…
(I am probably going to make this chapter the last time anyone could vote for a pairing. I hope you liked this chapter as I did writing it. see ya next update!)