Disclaimer: Nope. I do not own any of these characters.
Shuichi felt the weight in the bed shift. He sighed. He figured Yuki would come after what'd he'd said. Moments ago, he'd heard the shower spray shut off, and had been waiting ever since.
"Shu..." Yuki said softly, leaning back on the pillows
Shuichi forced his eyes to close. He honestly didn't feel like getting into it. His mind was swarming with thoughts and illogical logic and reasons and suspicions.
"Shu..." Yuki said again, scooting closer to him "Shu." He said more forcefully "Shuichi, I know you're not asleep."
Not answering, Shuichi opened his eyes.
"Talk to me..." Yuki said, gently urging
Shuichi shook his head.
"Not now."
"I won't be able to sleep."
"I don't care."
"I'll be thinking about you all night."
Shuichi scoffed.
"I doubt it."
Yuki narrowed his eyes and placed his body against Shuichi's, tracing small circles on his lover's bare side.
"Is that it?" Yuki asked softly "Do you feel like I'm ignoring you?"
Shuichi rolled his eyes and scoffed again.
"Or... is it... that you think I'm cheating on you?"
"Again." Shuichi added
"Is that it?'
Shuichi rolled on his back.
"Among other things."
Yuki frowned, and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Shuichi's forehead.
"Nope." He said "I'm not."
Shuichi made a face.
"Then why..."
Yuki narrowed his eyes.
"Why what?"
"What that--." Shuichi froze, shaking his head "Never mind." He said, sitting up.
Yuki followed and pulled Shuichi into his arms. He made a face internally. He'd never shown such affection for Shuichi before.
'Maybe that's the problem...' He thought
"Then what else is it? That's making you doubt me?"
There was a silence for a moment, before Shuichi spoke.
"You've been thinking about her, haven't you?"
Yuki's breath caught.
"Eve." Shuichi finished, his voice unemotional
Yuki lowered his head, placing it between Shuichi's shoulder blades.
"Shu..." He spoke "Yes.. but..."
Before he could finish, Shuichi turned to face him, and kissed him sweetly.
"Just stop. I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Yuki narrowed his eyes.
"I just want... I want..." Shuichi began
'I want you to belong to me...' Shuichi thought 'Totally and completely.'
"What, Shu?" He asked "What do you want?"
Shuichi looked up at Yuki, his eyes brimming with tears.
"I want to know why you saved her!"
Shuichi choked, and the tears began to fall.
"You told me... it was because... you two were the same." Shuichi's tearful eyes met Yuki's "But... I don't understand that. You aren't. After everything she put us through. She nearly killed us both, and drove you insane. But you still say her name in your dreams." His eyes fell "You still think about her when we're making love."
Yuki's eyes widened.
"No--."
"And lately, you get this far away look, like you're waiting... for her..." Shuichi took a shaky breath "And I get it. I know... she'll always have a piece of you that I can never have. Memories and knowledge of you that I'll never know. I get it. But..."
"But what?"
Shuichi paused, wiping his tears.
"Just..."
He swallowed, Yuki brought his face up to his.
"Tell me... you never... you never loved her."
There was an unsetteling silence.
"Shu." Yuki said softly "Through everything Eve put me through. All of the emotions I've felt for her. All the things she's done for me, and taught me... I never loved her." He sighed "I never felt anything close to love for her."
"Why do I..." Shuichi said softly
'Not believe you...'
Yuki started to question Shuichi's silence, when Shuichi kissed him gently, nesteling his neck in his shoulder.
"I love you. Shuichi." He said softly
Shuichi nodded his head gently.
"Thank you."
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A.N. This arguement still isn't resolved. I imagine it'll be something that'll carry on throughout the story, and it's something that I was thinking about in the many months that I wasn't writing this story. Lol. Anyways, it to me seemed like a rather deep concept for Shuichi. "In all those months they were together, is it possible for him to have never felt anything for her"? It seemed like a logical and reoccuring worry.