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my second birthday fic for jessica ( tatikara ). yes, second. i was not very content with just giving her the first one, after all. XD
kingdom hearts does not belong to me. your hearts do. xD
( -shot for use of the xemnas-like quote.- )
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f a l l e n ;
r i k u × k a i r i
You're so weak.
Remember when she used to cry at night because she was afraid of the dark, and you'd hold her and tell her that everything was okay, that dawn would come soon and she had nothing to worry about with you there?
Now you're the one waking up from your sleep plagued with nightmares, screaming and sweating and crying and struggling to breathe. The darkness pulls you in again and again, beckoning your allegiance that they still know is dwelling somewhere deep inside your infected heart. It's like being possessed all over again, but this time by something that isn't even there – just bad dreams.
The Great Riku, scared of the dark.
Or when you were a kid ( and still are – no, you're a fucking baby ) and sometimes she'd trip and fall in her sandals and you'd help pick her up off the dirty ground?
Now she has to do that, because of your back that sometimes hurts and it hurts, oh so badly please stop the burning.
The Great Riku, physically impaired.
You hide from the shadow of your tree yet still want to lurk in them ( the shadows that are everywhere ), want it to grow darker and darker until I can slip away into the night like I did three years ago and she doesn't even avoid the shadows anymore. She's learned to walk through them without a glance, and you cringe when you step on a crack because you think that the earth before you will suddenly split open and the devil will reach his singeing hand out and grab you, grab you tight, and drag you down to Hell with him and punish you for all the things you've done.
The Great Riku, scared and full of fear.
And you can't even build up enough courage to tell her you love her.
You can fight Heartless, go to the dark side and turn into the bad guy, and hate your best friend all for her. But you can't say three stupid words.
( stupid, they're not stupid i love her )
Maybe they aren't the stupid ones, then. Maybe you're the one who's acting stupid.
Mr. I-Once-Knew-It-All:
She doesn't need you to teach her anything else about the keyblade, of Light and Darkness, or of general life.
She's a big girl now.
Turning sixteen soon.
Everything drowns away at sixteen. You know this; it happened to you. When you were sixteen, everything just came crashing down.
You hope this doesn't happen to her and that she'll just move on; because you can't.
Shed your dark shell or die within it, a worm failing to turn into a butterfly.
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She was sweet sixteen and never been kissed.
Sixteen. Six-teen. She was an official teenager now, more so than she had been when she was thirteen. If she was going go get any older, this was it.
So she waited.
She felt nothing.
She still felt weak.
She had always been the one her friends had to save. The damsel in distress. She couldn't even escape a kidnapper; she was that pitiful. ( Of course, her kidnapper was over six feet tall and male, and she was a measly 5'2'', but still. )
And when they were gone, she felt so lonely.
Suffer.
Breakdown.
She knew how her two friends felt as they arrived back home from their journey. Broken, the troubles of their past haunting shadows in their blue eyes. Riku was worse off than Sora, in a way – after all the darkness he had been wrestling conflicts with in his heart, and how Sora tried to push past his obstacles as the Keyblade Bearer and live and love life like they used to.
Riku still lingered in between the worlds, standing on the shore and looking out across the ocean like he had when he was younger, staring so hard: What's out there; I know there must be something.
She was from another world. She knew that. He knew that. Sora had been there.
She was at a disadvantage.
She was sitting on the beach, drawing cupcakes in the sand with her finger.
Happy birthday to me, Kairi thought duskily.
He was right where she needed him.
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You stop to think before approaching her; why is she so lovely?
So lonely, so dignified, shimmering in her youthful/young woman beauty.
And you were there, trembling and hesitating to walk up to her.
Go go go.
Feet, move.
Legs, work.
You're sinking like you did into the black pit of darkness. No. No. Not now.
She's in reaching distance . . .
Go.
As if unlocked by some secret key, you begin to walk towards her. More like sprint – trying to break the binds of the darkness that threatened to root you to the ground.
"Kairi," You call out to her. You can barely hear your own voice.
Apparently, she can.
"Hum?" She looks up and smears her hand across what she was drawing in the sand. A faint smile traces her rosy lips. "Hi, Riku."
"Just wanted to say happy birthday," You say as casually as possible, sitting down next to her.
She bows her head ever-so-slightly. You're more sensitive than you used to be, that's true. So broken down (soweak) by hardships, but still very self-excluding, very standoffish. That doesn't keep you from being concerned.
"Is something wrong?"
Be happy, You urge her. Start dancing around like you used to, talking with your prettycheery voice. You will it. It's your last chance to keep yourself together before you completely fall apart.
The girl with cherry-red hair cascading across her forehead made a muffled noise.
Yes no maybe so?
When all else fails, you decide to reach out to her with your hand. "Kai—"
She grasps it with cool, soft fingers. No, she practically snatches your hand towards her and pulls it against her chest.
Dull-shock.
She rocks back and forth slowly like one would cradle a baby, and you feel warm tears splashing on your bare hand. You realize that the muffled sound was a stifled sob.
You lean in closer and bring your other arm around her narrow shoulders in an embrace. She clings to you desperately – luckily you're tall so you aren't smothered by her.
Her hair by your face. You can smell her sweet perfume.
"Why can't it change? Why can't it all change?" She was saying, eyes squeezed shut and lashes dotted with diamonds.
"You said . . ." Your voice faltered for a split-second. "You once said change was a bad thing. I changed."
The teen pulls away from you slightly, just enough to look up at you with mournful, sparkling glass eyes of lavender and grey. "Change from this. Change me, I want to change myself. I have to stop being . . . so . . . helpless," She concluded, leaning over as another sob wracked her slim body. "So weak," She whispered.
Mouth suddenly wrenched into a frown. This was all wrong. Kairi had changed . . . slightly. She had gotten stronger. And yet she still doubted herself and her abilities?
"No," You say, hushed into her hair, lips fumbling over the silky platform, "no. You're not." You draw her closer to you and encircle her completely with your sturdy arms.
She trembles lightly and clings to you tighter.
"You don't need to change."
"You never really changed after all, Riku. It was just . . ."
"I love you."
The tears strung through her eyes were blinked away rapidly. "What?"
I'm not going to say that again.
You tilt her chin up gently, and press your lips against hers.
Maybe it was need, maybe it was confusion, maybe it was even like – but she helplessly kissed you back, anyway.
All that darkness you were fighting with seems to fade away.
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She feels, finally, grown up.
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You break the kiss in order to breathe in this new life.
You look at her, and a smile creeps upon the corner of her lips – weak yet determined not to be.
"We complete each other, Kairi," You murmur beneath your breath, "together, we're strong."
She hugs you again, and you appreciate the warmth. Then she says something that she said to Sora when she first saw him again back on the island, but was saving it for you until the time finally came.
"Welcome back, Riku."
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fjjkghrtjrdkajgn. lame. i am dying from lameness/sappy overdose.