Chapter two: Antics.
By Stray Kat
"The first move is made, and a knight takes a pawn."
Jake looked at his phone, angry that someone, anyone, would use him a game. He spun about wondering where the cameras were, watching him. He didn't see any, but motion alerted him towards the trees. It came from where the message said to go, he started to walk, all right more like run at a frenzied pace. The branches on the ground and at his feet broke and snapped as he ran. He didn't stop running even as his body passed through a tree, he stopped hard tripping to fall face first into another tree, only to pass through it again like the first tree. He got up and looked at the tree. It seemed normal; he put his hand on the bark and pushed. It went through. "It's a hiding tree," a voice said out of nowhere.
Jake turned around, "Down here, chum."
He looked down, and jumped back. A red squirrel stood before him, it was all mutated into a cartoon-y anthropomorphic shape, and in a nasally voice, "Hello, sniff. "
It sniffed, like some old cartoon squirrel from the forties. Jake stared at him, like an old friend. "I'm sorry, come here."
Jake bent down to hear what he had to say.
"Confidentially, I'm crazy, you know Looney. I think I'm Napoleon. He pulled a hat out of nowhere and put it on. Striking a pose like Napoleon to emphasis his level of sanity.
"Right well I'm going to leave now. Nice meeting you." He turned to walk away.
"Hey before you go I have something for you." Jake turned about to be hit by a pie.
Wiping off the pie, he looked at the squirrel, only to be hit by a baseball bat. The stars started to disappear. Something else hit him in the head resembling a golf club. For five minutes, this continued, while the squirrel pulled objects out of a trunk marked 'swell stuff to hit boy with.' Finally he stopped and Jake starting to get a headache said, "Well he hit me with everything but the kitchen sink."
The squirrel pulled from behind his back a kitchen sink and struck Jake with it, "Well wouldn't want to disappoint you, chum. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu."
Jake laid on the ground watching it run away, head throbbing he said, "you know, I'm starting to hate that squirrel."
"We all do," someone said, when a pair of green eyes blocked out the world.