Title: Sakura's Home
Author: Winter Ashby (rosweldrmr)
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I don't own anything about Naruto, this is just for fun and if I did own Naruto I wouldn't have to right this, because I would have a team of very talented people turning this into a saga right now...
Rating: K+
Warning: this not only has spoilers until Manga 270ish, but it's kind of required for you to know what's going on. I use a lot of the Gaara mission, just made it AUish.
Summary: Sakura was kicked out of Konoha five years ago but now has been asked to return… She will meet old friends and be faced with the consequences of her actions. Future AU Sakura centric. No pairings, and you need to be up to date in the manga and series.
Authors Notes: :does a little dance: I have fifty reviews! Thanks so much for your patients and for all the lovely comments. I never expected this story to do so well. Finally - the big secret... that most of you have already guess, is revealed.

Chapter 11 - Names

The deep voice startled her from her investigation, and struck a pain in her heart. She should have been able to recognize the voice, but instead all she was left with was the overwhelming feeling of hatred that colored his words. She was so taken aback she stopped her stride and stood, dumbfounded at the absolute malice that he surrounded her with in an instant. It was obvious now that she knew him, and that he was controlling his output. After all, he'd just let her sense his bloodlust for the first time, and it was frightening.

She'd encountered many people who wanted to kill her. There was always some wondering shinobi who wished to steal the secret of the life-draining technique. But she was acutely aware at that moment that those kinds of bloodlusts were completely different from what he felt. This was the first time in her life that she felt such and intense loathing focused entirely on her, and for some reason she just knew that she deserved it. In her mind, she suddenly pictured herself dropping to her knees and asking him to finish her. She knew; with complete certainly that if he ever did take it into his own hands to avenge whatever crime she'd done to him, she would lose. There was no way to fight back against that kind of overwhelming disgust.

It wasn't like the intent to kill that Orochimaru immobilized her with when she was 13, but it was just as terrifying on another level. There was so much hurt, and pain, and justified indignation. It only took one second of feeling his hate that she was sure she deserved to die. That's what made it so terrifying. She knew that she would let him take her life, because she knew with all the truth she still held in her heart that he would be perfectly justified in it. Hell, she'd slit her own throat and hand him her sill-beating heart right now, if it wasn't for the nagging missions that loomed in her mind.

Kakashi. She said it in her mind over and over again. It was a mantra that she repeated in her heart as he finally turned the eerie mask away from her and she began to feel her heart beat again. She breathed in deep as he retracted his emotions and once again she was left with the absence of anything. She had been holding her breath, and she didn't even realize it. This man was the most dangerous kind of creature she could think of. As she watched the swaying of this black coat as he opened the door to the outside and was flooded by the sunlight, she felt a startling change in her thoughts.

She was the bad guy. She was the murderer, she was the criminal. She was banished; she was the evil former student who researched the forbidden jutsu. Even Sasuke had redeemed himself. And he'd never killed a fellow leaf, the worst he'd done was abandon his home to seek power. But even that, she knew, was to get vengeance for the slaughtering of his clan. What she'd done was inexcusable. She'd always known what she did was unforgivable. She would never let herself forget it. But she'd always been able to allow herself some freedom. She told herself it was an accident, that she didn't mean it. She told herself that it was all to save Sasuke, and so many other people.

Now was different. There were looming grey clouds beginning to settle over the village as they made their way down the stairs in silence and Sakura contemplated all the pain she'd caused. She couldn't even hide the self-hatred that filled her heart with every step she took. She wasn't interested in saving anyone but herself. She'd always dreamed that if she lifted his seal, he would finally love her. All through her training, in the back of her mind she always wondered what he would think of how powerful she'd become.

She was certainly a poor excuse for a human. As the last step of the stairs passed under her feet, she became peacefully resigned to die for Kakashi. Before, it was a risk she'd thought of since the instance Shino shattered her hopes to remove his eye. But now, it was more than that. She almost wished for death. It would finally give her some semblance of being the kind of person she used to think she was.

"This way." His bland, un-telling voice indicated she follow him through the back roads to the memorial stone. In the distance she could hear the laughter of children, people talking, the markets buzzing with people all going about their day. Obviously, they wanted to avoid her coming into contact with any people. For one wistful moment, she imagined her parents in Ino's family's shop talking. Like how things used to be. But she knew that was a fantasy. Her parents were shamed after her crime. She didn't even know if they were still alive, truthfully.

Even though they weren't great shinobi, she knew they were proud people and they wouldn't have staying in the village much longer after her expulsion. She knew they would have lived passed the gates now if they were sill around, in the low hills of the surrounding mountains. That was just another side effect of her selfishness. Part of her almost wished they weren't alive to see her homecoming, and now, inevitable death. She'd done enough to them already. She nodded and followed the faceless avenger through winding dirt paths that she knew all too well.

But even from her contemplative state, she could still feel eyes on her. Carefully, she glanced around, trying to gauge her surroundings. But she was unable to detect any other chakras in the area. Still, there was a prickling on her neck as she felt her unease being observed. She was over come with the sudden urge to yell at the man in front of her. It was clear he hated her, but to put her through so many mind games was making her insane. And the suffocating silence he blanketed her with was beginning to weigh her down. She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her courage and tested her voice. "Who are you?" she almost expected him to falter, or taken an elongated pause at the sudden and rather forceful question. He didn't. But she also hadn't expected him to answer either, but she was wrong again.

"Why, I'm hurt. Don't you recognize me, Sakura-chan?" the malice that laced her name rolling painfully slow from his porcelain covered lips was agonizing. There was so much anger in this one man. But she didn't even have time to analyze it, because the heavens suddenly cracked opened and wept cold tears of bittersweet regret.

There was a crash and a streaking light running though the sky and she was aware that they were now in the clearing that held the black stone. It was fitting, that it should be raining. It had rained that night too, she remembered. And every time she'd seen this moment in her nightmares, there was rain as well. She was glad there was some now, so that she wouldn't be disappointed. And she turned from him, identity forgotten, and remained a mystery. There was something more important to do right now.

The sad stone in the distance beckoned her. So on heavy feet, she made her way slowly to the base and knelt. She knew the dark figure wouldn't come, but he would watch as she wept for a crime she was sure he hated her for. The newly forming mud shifted under her weight as she dared to let her eyes see, for the first time, the true extent of her crimes. Unbeknownst to her, her fingers quaked with a residual fear that haunted her in her dreams; and there it was, engraved in the stone with aching finality. With outstretched hands hovering just above the smooth surface of rock that glistened as the rain slid off, she trembled at the names etched for all eternity. She didn't dare let the tears that threatened to spill in the rain. She knew if she started, it would never end and she would drown the village in her tears.

Through her hazy eyes, she could see those seven characters that created the face that haunted her everyday. She let her hand stay just above the stone, for fear of what touching it would mean. So instead her fingers itched to trace the characters of the all too familiar name. As she passed over each character, she let her sore, lonesome voice form the sounds that made it a name to be feared. "Hy-u-u-ga Hi-na-ta."