Summary: When Rei gets sick, Kai's left playing nursemaid, but do either of them really mind? KaixRei.
Whoops! Sorry about the wait! This chapter's longer though, which is kinda why it took so long to update. Oh, and I've decided I hate this story. Yuck. I'll do my best to finish it, though, if you guys want! But I had to update cuz Mimi just got a new fic!
But thank you all for your wonderful reviews! They make me so happy! I love you all! Anyone looking for a willing wife?
I hate this chapter. If you don't like it, tell me and I'll get rid of it and just post what was going to be ch4 as ch3.
Chapter 3:
Rei woke up only half an hour later, glancing at the clock and groaning as he saw just how little he had missed. He was so bored that sleep was a preferable alternative to being awake, but despite how lethargic he felt and how difficult it was to keep his eyes open, he didn't seem to be able to actually drift off! It was so frustrating! And, of course, his temperature changed every few hours, adding to his discomfort and making it even more annoying that he had to be stuck in bed all day with nobody but the less than sociable Kai for company. Sure, he was great when Rei was throwing up everywhere and needed help with his coordination, but for entertainment? He might as well talk to a tea cosy. Although, at a stretch, tea cosies were kind of cuddly, while Kai… he was like one of those ornaments you see in museums, with "please do not touch" signs on them. You could look all you wanted, and it was a terrifyingly good view, but that was it…
"Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer."
Rei started at the sound, and realised suddenly that he'd been staring unknowingly at Kai, or at least in his direction, for the last few minutes. Without even looking up from his book, the other boy had managed to completely humiliate him once again by doing nothing but simply being himself.
"Sorry, I just-" Rei started, but even as he paused to think about what to say next he knew it was useless. Kai always seemed to know exactly what it was that he was going to say anyway, "Oh, whatever. Where are the others?"
"I gave them the day off. They're seeing a movie."
Kai still didn't look up, his eyes following the lines of text without losing speed even as he spoke.
"You stayed, why couldn't they?" Rei frowned, a little insulted, and finally Kai spared him a glance.
"Because I told them in no uncertain terms that if they disturbed you in any way, I'd give them three extra hours of training a day for the next month."
His voice as monotonous as ever despite the implied violence of his words, Kai replied, watching Rei a little curiously as the other boy apparently sunk into something of a depression.
"Why did you stay?"
Kai's eyes narrowed slightly at the question as he considered how best to answer. The initial reason: 'because you obviously can't handle this by yourself' would hardly inspire confidence in his teammate, but what else was there to say? As he showed no sign of answering, however, Rei continued.
"I mean I'm sure you've got better things to do. This can hardly be even mildly entertaining for you…"
"It's not that bad," Kai muttered; glad to avoid the first question, if only for a moment, and sighed as Rei looked unconvinced, "Do you want me here?" he asked simply, eyebrows raised.
"Well…yeah," Rei admitted somewhat reluctantly.
"And I want to be here. So there's no problem."
And, with the conversation promptly ended, Kai returned his attention to his book.
"Bet you're used to that…"
"What?" frowning, he looked up again, somewhat surprised to hear the resentment and malice in Rei's tone. He knew fever could make some people act a little strangely, but this was… scary. Rei was usually so calm and collected, and to see him with his eyes slitted and to hear his voice that low... Something was very wrong, and from the sound of things it had been for a while.
"There being no problem. Since you're so fucking perfect."
"I'm not perfect, Rei," calmly, Kai replied, although he was surprised to hear Rei swear in such an offensive way. He did his best not to show it, however, as he had encountered people who were permanently like that before, and knew they'd pick on any weakness they could find, particularly when their problem was his apparently perfection.
"Aw, c'mon. You know you are."
Rei was smiling slightly, and if it hadn't been for his expression he would have sounded like he was teasing… there was just something in his voice Kai hadn't heard before. It was disturbing in that it was so different to his usual character, but what was even scarier was the way it was actually kind of attractive, in a kinky sort of way…
"I'm not, Rei," Kai said simply, refusing to play games with someone who was obviously not in their right mind. It wasn't just for his image, though; he knew that if Rei really felt that inferior to him, encouraging him to embarrass himself further would hardly bring about a positive response.
"Oh, you've got issues, right? What'd you do, kill somebody?"
Now that had obviously been a joke, but Kai could hardly reply in a manner that was both truthful and tactful. He chose not to say anything, instead giving Rei a dark look that took a minute for him to process. Once he did, though, Rei's malicious smile faded in an instant, and he drooped visibly as he realised just what he'd done.
"Oh…" he said, suddenly feeling rather cold and pulling his blanket closer around him, "I'm sorry, Kai. I don't know what-"
"It's okay," Kai insisted, but it was obvious that he wanted to end the conversation there, "You're feverish. It's understandable."
"But you've been so nice to me…"
Rei felt like a child, meek and begging for forgiveness for something he'd done without meaning to. He played with a corner of his cover, his eyes lowered to avoid meeting Kai's.
"Oh yeah, because you've always been such an asshole to me."
Kai's heavily sarcastic reply, however, made him smile slightly.
"Well, there is that," he said, "You're a nice person, Kai. You just hide it well."
Kai looked at him, "I wouldn't go that far."
Still smiling slightly as fever clouded his brain, Rei asked something he knew he'd never have dared to otherwise.
"Who'd you kill?"
Again Kai looked up, Rei meeting his gaze with some difficulty but holding the eye contact until Kai broke it to put his book down, finally giving his full attention to the conversation.
"One of the Balcof workers," he said simply, but as a look from Rei urged him to continue, he did so, somewhat reluctantly, "the one who killed my parents. I shot him. In the head."
"You wanted revenge?"
Kai's eyes narrowed slightly at the pity he saw openly in Rei's expression, but he answered the question anyway. He didn't like to keep secrets from his teammates; it just made things so much more difficult when they eventually found out, but if he'd mentioned to Tyson or Max that he was a murderer… he didn't want to think about what would happen to the team. Rei, though, just seemed so… understanding. Well, Kai assumed he understood, since he hadn'tpreviously encountered anything other than the grim indifference shown by his fellow Balcof students.
"He was threatening one of my teammates. It was the logical thing to do; I had to choose between the two of them," Kai shrugged, repressing the more emotional responses that threatened to make themselves known as memories began to surface in his mind. Rei's unusually prolonged silence, however, caused him to ask a question of his own.
"Wouldn't you do the same? If the person who started that fire was threatening Mariah's life, wouldn't you kill them?"
Rei frowned, avoiding Kai's eyes again as he pretended to think about it. It was no contest, really; if he had to choose between losing Mariah; having her killed right before his eyes, he'd pull the trigger in an instant. But it was still wrong, and… Kai was dismissing it as though he felt no guilt or remorse for murdering someone in cold blood. He could talk about it and defend his choice with the same stony, unfeeling expression as always.
"Do you regret it?" Rei asked eventually, avoiding answering Kai's question since he knew that Kai already knew what he was thinking.
"I don't regret saving the life of somebody I love. The fact that I had to kill someone is… regrettable, but unavoidable. That man ruined a lot of lives and he deserved a lot worse than the painless death I gave him.
Kai's eyes were cold, his expression set, and Rei struggled to comprehend just what he was seeing. Was it defence against the accusation that he was a completely heartless bastard, or he just arguing his point of view? Was he truly affectionless, or just logical? And having been taught that from a young age… was it truly what he believed in?
Gods, Rei hated this. He hated having Kai answer his questions only to create more! It was so frustrating! If he kept asking, would he only end up wanting more answers to the seemingly infinite ambiguities that surrounded Kai's life?
But… that wasn't it. It wasn't just the number of answers, but the number of answers he didn't know already. He cared about Kai a lot; it was only natural after spending so long with him, but… could he really love someone who could, at any time, come out with a revelation like this one and reveal entirely new sides of his personality?
"You know what my grandfather did?" Kai continued, and Rei looked up at him again, surprised to hear him venturing information voluntarily,"I was fourteen; I had just killed someone in cold blood, and he laughed. Smiled, and congratulated me on the accuracy of my shot. He didn't care that this guy was dead, just that I'd missed the hostage he'd spent so long training."
"That's fucked up," Rei couldn't think of anything else to say as, yet again, he was forced to take in new information.
"That's my family."
Kai reached once more for his book, assuming that the conversation was over, but Rei refused to let him stop there. He couldn't just say something like that and expect him not to ask again!
"Which teammate?" he asked, curious to know just whom it was that Kai had referred to as someone he loved. It had obviously been a slip, since the rest of the time he'd ignored the more emotional factors involved in his argument, but if Kai was letting his guard down in front of Rei enough to let something like that slip, then surely he was getting somewhere.
"Tala."
Kai kept his book closed but left it on his lap as he looked at Rei again, eyes narrowed slightly in what Rei had come to know as his confused expression. He wouldn't show it openly, of course; he couldn't appear ignorant in any way, but it was obvious that he was struggling to comprehend him.
"Why do you care?" Kai asked eventually, and Rei blinked, slightly taken aback by this enquiry. Kai's tone wasn't dismissive, as the question might suggest, though,but curious, as though he simply didn't understand.
"Because…" Rei began, but realised quickly that he had no idea how to continue. What could he say? "I guess…I just… want to understand you. Y'know?"
Kai continued to look at him for a moment, but then sighed and shook his head, returning his gaze to the book on his lap, although he didn't open it. He was obviously thinking, and confused about just what Rei's comment had meant, but, like his teammate, had no idea how to put how he felt into words. After a while, he opened his mouth to say something, but Rei got there first.
"Sleep. Yeah, I know," he said, unable to hide his annoyance at being told what to do yet again. He noticed Kai smile slightly, though, and felt a little better in the knowledge that he understood something about his team captain, even if it was suddenly slightly unnerving to be left sleeping and defenceless in the same room as him. Yawning, Rei settled down again, pulling his duvet up over his shoulders and lying on his side to face away from Kai before closing his eyes again.
Unbeknownst to Rei, Kai looked up again to frown thoughtfully at the duvet-covered mound in the bed before him, suddenly filled with doubt. Rei had never let him down before, but… what if he thought that he was some kind of affectionless psychopath? He had finallyfound someone that he trusted enough to reveal a secret like that to, but it was quite a lotto take in. What if he lost the only person -outside of Balcof- that he'd ever really trusted?It would hardly do anything for the team's morale, especially if he told the others…
Well, at least Tyson would never dare to complain about his pillow…End chapter 3:
Whoops, I keep adding trauma! It's not good! But it gives them something to talk about…
And I've had questions about my cookies, but you can't blame me if they got lost in the mail! It's the British postal system, damnit! The British postal system!
Oh, and if you don't mind an initial rape scene (it's over fast i swear! You can skip it!) then please read my A Whole New World fic because it's my favourite, but none of you guys seem to like it that much! It's Michael/Tala, a little weird, but I made it so cute!