Summary: When Rei gets sick, Kai's left playing nursemaid, but do either of them really mind? KaixRei.

Let's Begin:

Despite Kai's repeated promptings, Rei found it impossible to sleep that night. Disappointed by his body's lack of movement, his mind had gone into overdrive, and try as he might Rei couldn't stop the numerous thoughts whizzing hyperactively around his brain. He knew he couldn't move too much; Kai was the lightest sleeper in the world and if he so much as breathed heavily, he feared to wake him, but his muscles were aching with the want to move after being stuck in bed for so long.

Kai was being so overdramatic, though! He wasn't that bad… Okay, so he couldn't stand for a particularly lengthy period without the room spinning and he couldn't eat anything without throwing it straight up again but he didn't need constant supervision. If the situation was reversed, and Kai was sick, the other boy would never have let him be this protective. Although Kai could probably handle it more than he could…

So, of course, it figured that Rei should be the sick one. Maybe Kai made up for it with his variety of apparent mental illnesses. He obviously had some serious trauma, and Rei still couldn't believe that he had kissed him just to get that stupid book. He must have been aware of how much that would screw him up emotionally. Rei had brushed it off, trying desperately to be casual and coming off as something of a slut in the process, but it still bothered him. It was so wrong, but what worried him the most was not the fact that he had objected. He had wanted it; wanted Kai, and if there was ever a relationship doomed to fail it was that one.

For the first time in Rei's knowledge of him, Kai had actually shown his emotions; the past few days had seemed to bring him out of his shell and Rei didn't want to lose that. He didn't want to lose the closeness he'd convinced himself that they had. He had thought it would be enough to find out something, anything, about the team captain he admired so much, but it had only made him want to know more. Answers, instead of giving him the closure Rei had convinced himself he would find, led only to further questions, and Kai had to draw the line somewhere. Rei knew that, no matter how much he wanted to, he would never know everything about his team captain. But he also knew that he would always want to know more. And that drove him insane…

Gods, life just wasn't fair. In fact, it seemed to enjoy messing with him as much as possible. He'd managed to obtain the insight into Kai's life that he'd wanted for so long… and he had kissed him. Kai had kissed him! And that was far more than pretty much everyone else in the universe, but it hadn't meant anything. Kai had used false emotions to get past him, and that wasn't what Rei wanted. What he needed. He wanted to know Kai's real feelings, even if, in reality, the truth was that he felt nothing special for him at all. He'd be heartbroken, of course, and would probably cry himself to sleep every night for a week or so, but at least he'd know.

The more time he spent with his team captain, though, the more he began to suspect that Kai did care for him. He'd never gone to this much trouble for anyone else on the team, and… he had kissed him! Twice, if you counted that indirect one. And of course Rei did; it was hardly normal behaviour for Kai, so it must have meant something!

Rei sighed. He just didn't know what to think anymore. Kai was so confusing.

"Can't sleep?" Kai's voice suddenly penetrated his thoughts, and Rei struggled for a moment to prevent his heart from leaping out through his mouth.

"I've slept so much, Kai, I can't sleep anymore!"

A small sound, almost incomprehensible to a human ear, made Rei wonder for a moment if Kai was laughing at him, but before he could really decipher it, another significantly louder and less reassuring noise reverberated throughout the room; the painfully shrill trill of a mobile phone. Again, Rei had to think a little before he could identify it, but as the realisation hit him, he couldn't help but groan. He sat up slowly, blinking a few times in an attempt to stop the room from spinning, but was saved from having to go any further as Kai, realising what he was going to do, crossed the room, kneeling by the side of Rei's bed and retrieving hiss phone from his bag. He handed it to his team mate, before taking a seat on the end of the bed.

Leaning against the headboard, Rei gave Kai a grateful smile and settled down for that he knew would be an excruciatingly long and boring conversation. Finally, he answered the call.

"Hey, Mariah. What's up?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kai arch an eyebrow, evidently unimpressed by the nature of the interruption, and reached for his hand, squeezing it as he gave Kai an apologetic look. Kai frowned slightly, looking for a moment at their linked hands, and Rei tensed, slightly worried as he wondered if he'd crossed some sort of boundary in Kai's somewhat less-than-healthy mind. He was reassured, though, as Kai linked their fingers together, his frown fading as he allowed himself to take some comfort in the gesture, although his eyes remained narrowed slightly in a sort of abstract curiosity. Again Rei squeezed his hand, trying to get his attention, to try and see what he was thinking, and couldn't help but stare in some shock as Kai's eyes met his, and in them he saw the loss, the uncertainty, the fear of rejection that he usually kept so well hidden. He looked… lost. And all Rei had done was squeeze his hand.

"-y'know, Rei?"

"Oh, uhh… yeah, of course."

Rei replied, utterly non-committal but apparently satisfactory; Mariah continued in a similar vein and Rei was allowed to direct his attention back to Kai, shifting in his seat slightly to get a closer look at those eyes.

Kai watched him, still wary but unable to take his eyes off the other boy or move his hand from his grasp. For once he couldn't tell what Rei was thinking, and it bothered him because there was definitely something there, something different in his expression that he wanted to understand. He needed to understand; he couldn't have Rei keeping something this serious from him. It was strange, though, because Rei couldn't usually hide his emotions. He tried, but Kai had grown up surrounded by cheats and liars and was used to having to read others. Not that he was comparing Rei to them. Rei was nothing like them; he had his share of problems, sure, but he hadn't suffered at the hands of other human beings like they had. He still knew how to trust, and Kai… couldn't help but wonder if maybe he could teach him.

He didn't even have time to dismiss that thought before he noticed that he and Rei were much closer than they had been before. What was happening? Why couldn't he stop doing this? He was supposed to be trying to keep his distance, but at the moment he couldn't even do that, literally or figuratively. Not with the way that Rei was looking at him, staring at him with an emotion he couldn't identify evident in his eyes. Like Kai, he was being honest for a change, and once they'd started neither of them seemed able to do a thing to stop it. They knew they shouldn't; knew that doing this would have consequences for both of them and their relationship, but they were lost in the moment. There had been a distance between them but it was closing; they couldn't focus on anything but each other, the feeling of their hands touching and the thought that it could be so much more than that.

And they were so close. Kai could feel Rei's breath ghosting over his lips, and knew that Rei could feel his. He could feel his own heart pounding in his chest, his pulse racing in anticipation as the gap between them grew smaller still. It would take only the slightest push to close that final, agonising gap, but for a moment, they both hesitated, unsure of what one simple gesture would change between them.

"Rei! Are you listening to me?"

The sound made them both jump, the phone having been completely forgotten even though Rei was still holding it to his ear. In an instant, Kai had pulled his hand from Rei's and left the room. Rei winced as he heard the door slam, wanting desperately to call after him, plead with him to come back but suddenly all-too-aware of Mariah's presence. Wordlessly, he ended the call, and switched his phone off, thinking vaguely that he could tell her that his phone had run out of battery then wondering why he even needed to bother with an excuse. She'd forgive him for anything, and at that point in time he wanted nothing more than for her to have to suffer. He had been so close, so damn close to finally kissing Kai for real for real, and she'd interrupted what had to be the only chance he'd ever have. Kai had issues with his emotions; Rei knew that from the last few days' experience, and if anything was going to make him even more distant than he'd always been, it was that. He'd had one chance, and he'd blown it. Any try as he might, he couldn't blame Mariah. It was his fault too, for not having the strength to find out sooner.

End chapter

Yeah, I know. It's been years. Computer went kaput and had to buy a new one. And I don't earn all that much. Still, my new laptop Nicholas is willing and able to serve. If you can guess who he's named after, you can have a shiny penny. Think England, cornettos and shortcuts.

C'mon, people, still gots to beat Mimi ! She's updating too! It'll make me happy, and I'll update faster...