A/N: Wow…the response to last chapter was awesome. Y'all must have liked it more than I thought you would. But I'm glad. As of now, this is my only LP fic on the shelf (Life Happens is more BN than LP). So I'm really gonna be putting a lot into it…Enjoy this chapter! And if you don't mind, spread the love and drop me a review!

Disclaimer: It's not mine, if it was, everything would be like early season one.

Chapter Three: Silence is Golden

"Emotional stress over long periods of time can lead to what is called a nervous breakdown. Some people don't even realize they're having a breakdown. They can last anywhere from minutes to days to sometimes even weeks or months at a time. The victim will be on edge leading up to penultimate point, meaning you can expect uncharacteristic and short behavior. If you know someone who-"

Peyton laughed cynically shutting the TV off. Of course, she knew someone suffering from that. She lived with the person every day of her life. She had been having a nervous breakdown since the day her mother died. She was a nine year old girl. Most at her age would somewhat comprehend death and shed tears, waiting months before the gravity of it all set in. But Peyton understood it better than anyone. She cried for weeks on end. She knew the moment her mother closed her eyes for the last time that she wasn't coming back. And from that point forward, she didn't let anyone in. Because she refused to feel pain like that again.

Nine years old and already feeling the need to shut the world out. It was a crying shame. She was a beautiful child, a beautiful, perfect child who's face and eyes reeked innocence. At eight, she could have passed for the ideal picture of bliss. At nine, she was the ideal picture of broken. Something so beautiful and yet so painful to look at. Because those emerald eyes held such depth, such pain. Pain that most twenty or thirty years older didn't even hold. It turned most people off to her. They were afraid to approach her.

All except Brooke and Lucas off course, but Peyton really didn't want to think about that. She was convinced that Brooke only approached her because she liked breaking rules. Brooke was the type of child who people told not to eat chocolate before bed and yet she'd make it a point to sneak a Frango mint no matter if she was stuffed from dinner just to prove a point. At fourteen, her dad told her no boyfriends, so Brooke brought over little Bobby DuLaschey with his innocent brown eyes and made out with him on the couch, knowing she'd get caught. And when she did, she called up Peyton in triumph. "I won. They've given up on that silly rule" Peyton remembered her words. And she remembered them now. It was all a game to Brooke Davis. Maybe that's why she decided to break another rule. Betraying her best friend. Maybe Brooke Davis couldn't help it.

Lucas, well he just wanted something different, right? He had been a boy deprived of everything material and not needed in life. His mother had raised him so that the only thing he saw as rewards were compassion, love and kindness. He didn't live for the material. Yet, he couldn't help but lust over something that was more. He begged for something unquenchable. That was her. So he chased because she was his brother's girl. She was something he couldn't just have because he deserved it. Like it or not, she wasn't going to just fall into his arms because he treated her right. It was something he had to work for. But in the end, the hot and cold game got old for him and when she was no longer his brother's girl, when she became something he could see himself touching and holding in the near distance, he gave up. Just like that.

Deep down she knew it was all lies. But they were the lies she had to tell herself to make it through the betrayal. Because if she stopped and saw Lucas and Brooke as humans rather than chess players moving her about like a pawn, she would realize that she was hurting them. That her actions were not simply to make everything all tied up at one. They were bringing her down. She, who prided herself on taking the high road, who chastised Brooke for her scheming and gossiping, had become that which she hated. It was one thing to be a bitch who threw meaningless sharp comments. It was another thing to intend to hurt. To make it your purpose. Something on that cold night at Lucas's had made her snap.

She was suddenly tired. It was only three o'clock though. She had just escaped school and she doubted really if she could sleep throughout the night if she passed out now. She would probably wake up around ten. And then she'd be faced with a dark, cold room to stare around while the seconds ticked by to another day of facing her worst enemy. Herself.

She couldn't help it though when her eyes slowly drooped closed. The weight of the day burying her in a thick haze of unconsciousness. She felt herself drifting off even when the sound of her front door opening should have jerked her awake. Instead, she was so out of it that the thought of just anyone walking into her house didn't even bother her.

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He watched her with baited breath. She was by far the most beautiful creature he had ever encountered. Her presence invoked a fear deep in his soul. He had never met someone quite like her. She was in need of constant reassurance yet she never would admit it. She fished for compliments, but she never asked for them. She rolled her eyes at sweet and caring words, but she never asked for them to stop. She was a restless, angst ridden soul waiting for something to set her free. He was supposed to be that thing.

But no one is perfect, and he had failed her terribly this time. He could see the hurt and the pain in her eyes that night. He kept seeing even when he closed his eyes. He had seen her broken before. He had thought he saw her at her worst. But last night, that was her worst. She didn't shed one tear in front of him. Not a single drop.
Her face just dropped. It lost all hope and the little innocence she had left.

But here, in sleep, she was calm. She almost looked like she did when she had told him she loved him, before Brooke had sauntered out. God, he could still remember how bright her smile was when she said it. How her eyes just shined with optimism. So unlike the Peyton he knew. So welcome. So short lived.

It was only in sleep he'd see it again because when she woke up she'd put back up her front and walls. She'd spit cruel, callus words to Brooke and ignore him like he was the dirt under her shoes. He deserved it, he was sure, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. The girl he loved hated him.

Yes, he did love her. He just didn't want to get hurt. She had crushed him that night at the basketball party. He saw Brooke as a way to stay close to Peyton and maybe a chance at something normal. What he and Peyton had was not normal. It was complex and deep and scary. Yeah that was it in a nutshell. He was scared of what they had. But now, he was even more scared of what she had transformed into over night. She had become bitterness embodied and he refused to let her slip into a dark hole, to alienate herself from everything she had come to know.

He sat across from her bed, on a stiff stool missing a cushion. He admired his beautiful girl from afar, just like he had done since freshman year. It had never felt this painful to sit and watch. To sit and watch and wait.

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Someone was watching her. She could feel it though her eyes were still clamped shut. Not only was someone watching her, they were close. She panicked, feeling her heartbeat speed up rapidly. Who the hell would be in her room watching her sleep? The thought of a voyeur in her room scared her. She curled into her covers more.

"Peyton," a voice called.

Oh shit, she thought, they know I'm awake.

"Peyton, are you up?"

Shit! Pretend you're asleep! Peyton stayed perfectly still, trying to make her breathing appear evened out. Unfortunately, Lucas saw her hands moving under the blanket, and he knew she was awake.

"You can't fake me out, Peyton."

Peyton knew that voice and she held off the urge to groan. She cracked open her eyes and sure enough she was right. That wasn't a voyeur. That was her stalker.

She sat up and scratched her head, a frown settling on her face. His eyes were like magnifying glasses burning a hole into her face. That stare was so deadly and she hated herself for being so affected by him. She cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow hoping for him to get the message. She wasn't talking to him.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," he said, with a smile. She could see how nervous he was. His voice shook just enough to give it away and his hands were fumbling in his lap. He could hardly look you in the eye. "So umm, I just wanted to tell you that I don't blame you for being mad at me, but you really shouldn't take it out on Brooke. She's been your best friend since you were little, and I shouldn't have come between you two."

There were so many things that Peyton wanted to say to that. So much to dispute. So much anger and frustration. He just didn't get it, did he? She rolled her eyes at him and glared at him hoping that would be enough of a clue for him to just back off and leave her alone forever. Or at the very least just stop saying the B-word…Brooke.

"So I may be a little slow, but I think I've picked up on the fact that you aren't talking to me." Maybe he wasn't as stupid as she thought. She figured it would have taken him a couple more days to figure that out.

"But I know you hear me, Peyt. I know that all this talking that I'm doing isn't in vain. And pretty soon, you're not gonna be able to ignore me anymore. And you'll have to say something, even if it's to yell at me. Believe me, I know there's a lot you could yell at me about." The shrill sound of a phone interrupted what seemed to be the buildup to a prepared Lucas Scott speech, one that would build her up only to knock her down later on when she remembered the words…alone.

The phone just kept ringing, the sound piercing through the tension between them. She wanted to answer, but she didn't want him to hear her voice. It was some sort of pride in the fact that she was keeping something from him. Then again, she figured the loss of hearing her voice probably wasn't a big deal to him. Little did she know, it did kill him.

If she let the answer machine get it, it would probably be her dad, postponing his return home. Then, she wouldn't be able to keep the disappointed look off her face. He'd see it and he'd feel guilty. He'd say something nice and sweet to make her feel better, and against her better judgment, she wouldn't be able to keep herself from smiling at it. Her resolve would break, and she'd set herself up for another break.

"Are you gonna answer that?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow at him wondering if he was really expecting an answer. The phone continued to ring and finally the machine picked up.

Hi, you've reached the Sawyers. We're obviously not here so you know the drill. Name. Number. Brief message. We'll hopefully get back to you, but no promises. A shrill beep followed.

"Bitch, darling, it's A.J. that charming fellow from English class. Before you even ask, I got your number through my connections. Besides men just seem to know these things. Do you give your number out a lot? Maybe I was wrong on the whole slut thing. Anyways, you being a slut is not the reason I called, although my offer still stands. I called however to offer you an invitation to my party this Saturday. It's at my house-"

Peyton watched Lucas's face during the entire conversation. His anger was more than evident as he glared unconsciously at the phone. He judged him with each word, and shuddered and winced each time a curse or sexual jest came out of A.J.'s mouth. Suddenly, Peyton felt compelled to defend the man on the phone though she didn't entirely trust him herself. She just wanted Lucas to be wrong for once. So, she answered the phone, placing it on speaker. It would be fun to watch Lucas squirm.

"Sorry A.J. I don't answer my phone," she said in a monotone.

"Can't blame you for that. Do you get a lot of gentlemen callers ever since you broke up with the ogre?"

"Ha ha, you're so funny," Peyton said dryly.

"I try. So we're you listening to my message because I hate repeating myself."

"Yeah. Something about a party and me being a slut."

"I didn't say you were a slut. I said you were a bitch and that you're slut status is in question."

"Right. Whatever."

"So will you be joining me at my party then?"

"Umm," Peyton said tapping her fingers slowly on the table. She avoided Lucas's eyes, not wanting to feel his disapproval. "Why should I?"

"Because I can give you a good fuck to forget all about stalker boy."

Peyton cursed at A.J.'s bluntness and tried hard not to glance up and see "stalker boy's" reaction.

"You know a little subtleness never hurt anyone."

"Subtlety is just a way to divert intentions from honesty. I want to sleep with you. There, I'm being honest."

"Well, I don't want to sleep with you, thank you very much."

"That's beside the point. Are you coming or not?" Peyton looked up to meet Lucas's eyes and she saw the pleading there. He was almost begging her to say no. Those baby blues were trying so hard to convince her she was worth more than this. But if he had wanted to convince her, he should have showed her by his own actions.

"Pick me up at seven," she said after a long pause. She watched as Lucas's face fell.

"Nice try. A.J. Hopps doesn't pick up women."

"You'll make an exception for me."

"You better be worth," he said somewhat lewdly. Peyton swore she saw Lucas's fists furl a little.

"I am." She hung up the phone, a somewhat seductive grin on her face though A.J. couldn't see it. It was more there for Lucas anyway. Strained silence filled the air.

"You're worth more than this," Lucas said quietly.

"We've been through this conversation before," Peyton whispered, ignoring her plan to never speak to him again. She needed to just get this off her chest so he could leave her alone. She brought her gaze to meet his. "Remember? Why did I stay with Nathan? You seemed to think that there was someone better out there for me. I'm almost positive you thought that was you, but now, I'm pretty sure you've come off your high horse and realized you're just like the rest of them. I don't deserve better especially seeing how naïve I was to think you were any different."

"Peyton, I-"

"You are who you are, Lucas. You're a guy and just like all the guys I've ever met you can't handle a girl like me. I have real problems and issues that I need to confront and all you're looking for is a cute little high school girlfriend whose biggest drama in life is what shoes to wear tonight. You've got that now so don't even bother worrying about me. I don't want your pity or your empathy."

"Just let me explain."

"No thank you," she said calmly. Her whole speech had been said in such a soft, broken tone that Lucas found himself inching closer just to hear her. They now stood next to each other, bodies barely touching. She looked up to meet his eyes. "Please, go."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I-"

"I've heard it all before."

"I'm not like Nathan or A.J., Peyton. I'm not that way. If you just understood-"

"No, Lucas you're not like them. You're worse," Peyton whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Lucas nodded at her admission, realizing that he wouldn't be able to just talk his way out of this one. He'd need to prove to her that he was a good guy. That would take a lot more than one conversation. So he left her room, like she asked, turning back once at the door.

"I'll make it up to you," he promised. Peyton waited to collapse on her knees until she heard her front door shut. Then, she let out a stream of tears.

"Why can't you just go away instead?" she whispered to no one.

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Peyton speaks to Lucas!!! We're making progress --looks around-- Well for every step forward though Peyton takes a step back...hehehe