Tickled Pink

Chapter 4

Kerry untangled herself from Gina and sat back against the pile of pillows, she wiped her eyes and gave a smile,

"Please don't tell Smithy, please," she pleaded looking deep into Gina's eyes,

Gina's face strained, she knew that Smithy would want to know but she also knew how Kerry was feeling; she'd been there herself.

"Ok, I won't tell him but you must at some point it's not an easy thing to hide, what with all the chemo and stuff" Gina agreed.

Bursting into a fresh round of tears Gina passed Kerry a tissue from the box on her bedside table, instead of wiping her eyes she clenched it in her fist, tightly squeezing.

"I'm so scared Gina I mean what if I die, what if the chemo and radiotherapy doesn't work. I don't want to die there's so many things I want to do" She whispered,

"Don't talk silly everything's gonna be Ok and you'll get to do those things. I'll put you on sick leave I'm so sorry I have to go now or they'll wonder where I've got to." She smiled giving a nervous laugh.

As Gina picked up her hat and stood Kerry smiled at her watching her movements, itching to say something,

"I'm so sorry to Gina, please remember what I said" her eyes following her out of the ward.

She was all alone now, all alone having to deal with things although she was used to it whenever a problem occurred in her life no one else would deal with it, maybe that's what moulded her. She saw the ward sister approaching her with a batch of leaflets from what she could see it appeared that it was time to face her fears and see how bad they really would be.

"Hey, how are feeling" she smiled,

"Like someone's punched me right in the boob" She stated.

The ward sister didn't know whether it was meant with sarcasm or as a joke to lighten the mood, indecisive she shrugged it off with a laugh. Remembering why she came to speak to her the ward sister passed her the selection of leaflets,

"I've got a few leaflets here just giving you a bit of background on the type of cancer and the treatments" She said handing her the wad.

To Kerry they seemed useless; she already knew the facts; well the important ones anyway.

Getting no response from Kerry the nurse just placed them on her cabinet and went away, upon walking away she collared a man in a white overcoat and pointed towards Kerry. Acknowledging what the nurse had said to him he walked over to Kerry. He was tall in height with whitish hair; his face seemed slightly worn due to the frown lines yet he had an heir of authority and wisdom. His glasses sat perched on the end his nose and he peered down at Kerry's notes,

"Ahh miss Young, and so you are" He joked hoping to cheer her up,

"I've heard you staging a silence?" he carried on with his jokes,

Again there was no reply but her eyes seemed engaged in what he was saying,

"You know everyone is here to help you, if you let them. Our aim is to give you the best recovery we can," He said in a more serious tone as he took off his glasses with his left hand.

"Recovery or comfortable death" she stated,

Before giving him a chance to reply to her statement she carried on,

"I'm sure you are here to make me feel better but there's really no use, you should save the treatment and drugs for someone who well benefit from it; unlike me." She said finishing suddenly emphasising the end.

"Why do you think that? The treatment that is offered is quite revolutionary now and the survival rates are rising at an impressive rate."

" My mum died of cancer and there was nothing anyone could do, she just had to suffer; and they say it's genetic don't they" She snapped,

"Im sorry it's not your fault, I just don't want to be led to believe that you can do something when you're just kidding yourself." She apologised for her sudden outburst,

"May I ask how old you was when your mum died?" he asked,

"Four" she replied.

"Sorry to hear that, I can see why you're worried though. You were young it was a confusing period in your life, losing someone that you love dearly." He began to make sense in Kerry's mind and she was intrigued as to what he was saying, did he understand her?

"Sometimes I just feel so alone like I have nobody there for me, whenever I wanted a conversation with her or I had a problem she wasn't there. I miss her so much, I know some people think that losing her then wouldn't be as bad as now but its not. I have no memories of her, the ones that I did have have been wiped out forever and no one can replace them. I just miss her so much."

Sorry for the shortness but hey plzzzzzzzzzz review!