Dear Diary,
Fop came down unexpectedly today
Somehow managed to miss several traps i put out for him
Was attracted to strong smell of cupcakes
Demanded i hand some over.. along with tea. would not leave
Broke my best teacup, while blathering about clothes
Almost threw him down into torture room immediatley
Didn't have to-
Scottie dog most useful in discovering weaknesses
And discovering abandoned shoes
Very chewy i imagine
Fop was v. upset- shreiked in horror
Upset Elvis- she mauled him
V. good attack dog- who needs a doberman?
Fop left
Must put traps in less obvious areas
-Erik
Dear Diary
Christine showed up today. Demanded cupcakes. Was furious when I explained that I had no cupcake mix left in the lair after fop's unexpected invasion. She stormed out.
Strange…
Erik
Dear Diary
Have discovered what fop was doing with carrot.
Am mildly disgusted.
Erik
Dear Diary
Am thinking I should get Christine help. Think she has become addicted to cupcakes. Saw her snorting cupcake mix in the kitchen this morning. Shall seek out professional help.
Erik
PS-Got new cape today. Very manly.
Dear Diary
Am angry. Operator laughed at me when I asked for the number to a Cupcake Help Facility. Hung up. Shall try internet. Cape update: Long and flowing.
Erik
Dear Diary
Apparently there is no cupcake help line. Am guessing I should make non-fat cupcakes and just let Christine eat as many as she wants. Internet good for other things though. Have ordered lake monster from Scotland. Feel a need to get one after today. Fop stole my new cape and ran about pretending he was Superman. Stupid fop. Proceeded to fall into lake WEARING MY NEW CAPE. Was v. upset with him. Gave him stern talking to and refused to give him cupcakse, as they were his main reason for coming down. Apparently, "cape just to enticing". Must go bake more cupcakes for Christine. Seriously, the girl can eat her weight in sugary goodness every time she comes down here.
Erik
Cape update: Wet.
A/N- Sorry about not updating...just didnt get around to it. I will more frequently, I promise.
I guess I'll go now...