Okay, Tommy has this tendency to make me take him seriously when he is joking. Now that question…that very out of the blue question….is worth serious consideration. And if he tells me he was just joking or if he gets one of his stupid smirks on his face I swear I'm going to smack him, then I'm going to kick him out of my room and out of my house. And I would wear the shortest skirt I have in my closet tomorrow just to tease him and mess with his mind.
Okay so maybe it wasn't a real question. He has returned his attention to the TV. Ugh, I hate guys and their short attention spans. They can't have a simple conversation with you for longer than twenty minutes but they can spend four hours watching 200 pound guys get slammed into the ground by other 200 pound guys. I bet a girl could walk in front of them in nothing but hooker boots and they would still tell her to move just so they can see the end of the game.
But a girl can hope and dream that Tommy Quincy is different, right? He's not. The second the girl on the TV started moaning he basically forgot I was in the room. Granted I am watching the 'movie' also, but I'm lost in thought. He's memorizing everything that is going on. Okay so I might have been doing the same thing earlier with Kat, but that was only because I needed to know exactly what to do. I don't want to be a complete clumsy loser when I have my first time.
Right, back to the first time topic; I guess he was joking after all. See what I mean about him messing with my emotions? This time he isn't going to make me cry, but still. I was actually contemplating on whether or not I would loose my virginity tonight. But it looks like I won't be. Oh well…just another day to add to the 17 years. I'll loose it someday. Maybe I'll loose it to someone cuter than Tommy. No, that's probably not going to happen. I don't think there's another man in Canada that is sexier than Tommy.
So the sad just of it all is…I'm going to have sex when Tommy wants to have sex. I'm still a little too shy to actually just jump on him and straddle his lap and make him have sex with me. Although, I'm pretty sure he has probably fantasized about me doing that to him. He's a pervert like that. Although, when I turn 18 I can see myself doing that…with many vodka shots in my system. Actually, I can see myself doing that tonight if I had a lot of vodka shots in my system.
Back to Tommy Quincy…he is going to pay if he doesn't say something soon. I mean I know the girl on the screen is pretty, but still. I should be his main focus, right? Yes. Oh this is the scene where she gets in that really really really flexible position. I know his eyes are going to be glued to the TV; mine were. Actually I wonder how hard it is to get in that position. God, I know I did not just think that. These pornos are really bad for my mind.
Okay here comes the scene. And I was right. His eyes are glued to the screen. Did he just turn his head and smirk at me? Yes he did. I guess he expects me to get in that position. Well I might be able to if I…no…bad Jude. Tommy has now turned his attention back to the TV. This is my favorite scene so I guess I can watch it again. Okay is it right to have a favorite sex scene? I don't think so. I might be on my way to hell.
Hmm this is the first time I have actually watched this scene with sound. Kat and I always turn the volume down for obvious reasons. But with sound on it helps to find out which angles a girl receives more pleasure in. For example, that really flexible angle must be really good because she started screaming a lot. Maybe that's why Tommy wants me to get in that angle.
Why did he just turn it off? Okay when I finally get used to the fact that he is in my room watching this with me, he goes and turns it off. What goes on in that boy's mind? I would really like to know. Okay now why is he looking at me like that…and why is his hand at his belt buckle?
"So…" He says, still giving me this really odd look. "So….?" I repeat him. "Do you want to see if you could handle me or not?" He asks. Okay he MUST be referring to our previous conversation at G Major. I'm still mad at him for thinking I couldn't handle him. But then again…maybe I can't. But I'm sure as hell not going to tell him that. He will defiantly loose the little bit of interest he has in me.
"Define show." I say. Something tells me he isn't just going to pull out a picture. I mean I'm betting money he is going to pull out something but I know it isn't going to be a picture. Maybe I should be preparing myself or something? Okay, yeah I should defiantly be preparing myself. He just unbuckled his belt. Does he have ADD or something? He really doesn't like to take things slow. Then again, the topic is sex. No guy likes to take things slow when it comes to sex. They let their…manhood…do the talking and thinking.
Now he is moving up next to me. Our backs rest against my head board. He unbuttons his pants. Okay, wow. He is actually about to show me…Tommy jr. I thought he was just joking about it. You can never really tell when he is serious, but I guess he is serious this time. Okay Jude, don't get nervous and school girly. Just stay calm. Yeah, tell that to my heart that is beating a thousand times a minute. Okay here he goes…oh my god.
There are certain situations you get in in your lifetime that you can't help but blush in. Your mom finding out your lack of a virginity is one; falling down in front a bunch of guys is another; and looking at Tom Quincy's…thing…while he is watching you is another one. Actually that should be at the top of the list. And why is he so comfortable about this? Oh, that's right; half of Canada knows what his stick looks like.
It's like looking at a train wreck. You know you shouldn't look at it, but you can't take your eyes off of it. It's actually pretty in a way. Seriously. Okay I really need to stop looking at it.
"You can touch it if you want." Tommy says with a smirk. He sounded so serious, yet he had to have that stupid smirk on his face. Although I do wonder how it feels. God, I'm sorry for saying that. I really am…I'm just…curious. You know what? I blame Tommy. He corrupted me. He really did. I was an honest innocent girl until he came along. Yep, that's him. Tom Quincy: Corrupter of Jude Harrison
"I was serious." He says. I guess he can see the doubt on my face. I bite my bottom lip. Should I touch it? I mean it is right there. But do I just reach over there and grab it? See this is another reason I hate being a virgin; I don't know what to do in the really sexual times. Okay Jude. All you have to do is touch it; not grab it. Just run your fingers against it. Yeah, that's right. Just glide my fingers against it.
Wait, was that footsteps? I turn my head towards Tommy. I put my finger to my lips and listen. My heart drops when I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Tommy quickly puts…himself…back into his boxers and quickly begins zips and buttons his pants again. He had barely zipped his jeans before Saidie's annoying face appears in my doorway.
God, Portia thought she had bad timing. Saidie has the WORST. No, Portia accidentally ruins moments….Saidie, on the other hand, she purposely interrupts Tommy and mine's moments because she is a jealous bitch. Okay I know that is mean but I'm pissed off right now. I was two seconds away from touching Tommy. Do you know how long I have thought about doing that? A VERY long time.
"What are you guys doing?" She asks. Oh, nothing. Just a little foreplay…nothing big. "Nothing." Tommy and I answer at the same time. She gets a curious look on her face as she enters my room. She looks around. She is so annoying.
"Why is it so dark in here?" She asks. Oh yeah. I guess we forgot to turn on the lights and the sun has now gone down. Funny. I didn't even realize that it had. The things you miss when you are looking at the pornos and a guy's stick. One of these nights I'm going to barge into her room and interrupted her and one of her one night stand's fun. No, never mind. I will probably just get scarred for life. I'm going to get revenge sometime.
"We just didn't feel like turning on the light." I respond. Saidie gives one of her annoying glares. Have I mentioned how much I hate her? Well I HATE her…with a passion. I look over at Tommy and see him trying to buckle his belt again. I put my knees up to my chest that way Saidie can't see what he is doing. When I see that he is done I put my legs flat on my bed and look at Saidie, who to my dismay, what still in my room.
Did she just sit down on my bed? Yeah, she did. "Saidie, get out of my room." I say as nicely as I can. Okay it didn't come out that nice but oh well. How nice would you be if your sister just interrupted something between you and the guy you are going to loose your virginity to? Exactly. You wouldn't be that nice at all. Okay is it opposite day or something? I tell her to get out and she lays down? She is seriously asking for a Harrison wrestling match.
"Saidie, Jude and I have to discuss some business matters." Tommy says. See, that's why I love him. He can sense when I'm getting mad. Okay, she so did not just roll her eyes at me. I don't care if Tommy is here, I will seriously start a fight with her right now. Just because Tommy is actually paying attention to me doesn't mean she should get all bitchy. It's not my fault she wears a ton of make up and dresses in really slutty clothes just to get his attention, which most of time doesn't even work…when I'm around.
"Whatever. Mom's coming home around 10…which is in a about 20 minutes. I don't think she will be too happy to see Tommy lying on your bed." She says before she exits my room, slamming my door shut. God, she is such a bitch. Wait, Mom's actually coming home? Wow. I guess she is tired of being in bed all day with Don. No. I bet she is only coming home to get some more close. Seriously she should just get a suitcase and put all of her clothes in it. That would save her a lot of time and gas mileage. I might as well live by myself. Saidie goes out every night so I end up home alone. The only bright side of the situation is…I have brought home four bad grades and no one has yelled at me.
"Don't ya just love Saidie?" Tommy asks sarcastically. Ha! Yeah, the day I love Saidie will be the day Eden actually dates someone who own age and quits robbing the cradle. Yes, I do still have a lot of hate towards Eden. But what do you expect? She stole my first boyfriend…on national TV. That's a very good reason to hold a grudge against her. Oh yeah, and I left out the whole it was my birthday part. But you know it was a great birthday for, oh, twenty seconds? When Tommy kissed me…then he had to take it back.
Okay Jude…let's not bring up the past. That was almost three years ago. The past is the past. Anyways, back to Tommy...I see why he is so cocky. He has a reason to be cocky…a very big reason. Oh god. Now I know that's all I'm going to be thinking about all night. Why did he have to show me? Because I wanted to see. But I shouldn't have looked at it that long. But what else was I supposed to do? Okay this is sad. I'm arguing with myself.
"Bunches and bunches." I answer Tommy. I had almost forgotten he had said something. He sighs and looks at me with his sexy ocean blue eyes. "Well I guess we can't do anything now." He says. I smirk at him. He was actually anticipating doing something with me. I know I shouldn't feel that special because I'm sure he has anticipated on having sex with a lot of girls but at least I know I'm on his 'Want to Sleep With' list. Of course half of Canada is also, but I better be at the top.
"What did you have in mind anyways?" I ask him. Since when did I become such a flirt? I guess I talk to him too much. Although I don't really try to talk to him…I try to flirt with him. He smirks. "Well I could either show you a little bit of it, or I could just tell you about it." He replies. I smile a little. Let's see. If he shows me then it's a little on the risky side of getting caught. Although, taking risks with Tommy is a part of my life. But if I tell him that I just want him to tell me what he was thinking of doing then he will think that I'm childish and scared.
"I want you to—" I get cut off by the ringing of my cell phone. I swear if it's Saidie I'm going to kill her…in front of Tommy. We live in the same house…we have a room right next to each other and yet she always feels like she needs to call me just to get her something. The other day she called me…from her room…and asked me to go downstairs and bring her the box of pop tarts. You want to know my answer to that question? Let's just say she heard more than the dial tone.
I sigh. "Sorry." I say as I pick up my phone. My heart almost stops when I see Mom's face. I hesitantly open the phone. "Hello?" I say. Tommy looks questioningly at me. 'Parental Patrol' I mouth to him. He smiles a little and nods his head. I then notice that I wasn't even listening to what my mom was talking about.
"….Jude Harrison are you even listening to me?" She asks. I never listen to you Mom. It's sad how parents actually think their kids listen to them when they speak. "Yes, mom." I say. I don't know why I wasted my breath saying yes. I know she is going to repeat herself anyway. And that's exactly what she does. "No you weren't. I said I'm going to be home in about a minute. I want you to set something out for dinner." She says.
Whoa, hold on. She's going to be home in less than a minute! I already had Saidie's threat of telling mom that Tommy was in my room but I don't actually need her to catch me in the act…not that we are doing anything, but still. "Okay mom. Bye." I say quickly before I hang up the phone. Tommy gives me a weird look then smirks. Even his smirk is cute. You know I wonder if he ever has one bad day where isn't cute. No, Jude. This is not the time to think about his looks…even though it's really hard not to because…Jude! Stop.
"Tommy you have to go…now." I say as I stand up quickly. "What, my package wasn't big enough for you or something?" He asks with a smirk as he stands up. Leave it to him to think about sex in a time of life and grounding. But his package was big enough…really big enough. Jude, stop!
"No your big enough…I mean it was fine…I mean…you just have to go. My mom is going to be home in like 30 seconds." I say, pushing out of my room and down the stairs. He laughs half the way down the stairs. When we get to the door he stops and turns around.
"Well since we couldn't do anything…physical, we can still talk on the phone. There are a lot of phone games." He says with a smirk. I roll my eyes and smile at him. My smile fades when I see my mom's headlights flash in the door. God, why do you hate me? I put my hand on my forehead. Well at least he wasn't in my room…that's a plus.
"Uh oh." He says. "Yeah…it's okay. You still have to go just…don't have a conversation when you walk outside. And don't act like something is up." I say. I hope that will work. Wait, is he laughing at me? Of course he would laugh. This isn't his life that he is messing up. It's mine. What am I worried about? Mom is only going to stay long enough to fix dinner then she is going t be gone again. But she can still ground me in the time in between.
"Calm down, Harrison. We didn't do anything." He says. He's right, but that's not gonna stop my mom from suspecting something. "I know it's just…complicated." I say as I open the door and push him out the first door. "Call me later, girl." He says as he opens the second door and walks outside. I see him wave to my mom kindly as he walks to his car. He looks back at me and winks before getting into his car. I smile. Tom Quincy, the only girl that can make my legs go weak and heart beat a thousand times a minute.
Okay, now it's time to stop smiling. If she walks in here and sees me smiling then she is going to think something is up. "Hey, Jude." She says as she enters the house. "Hey." I say casually. She smiles at me as if she hasn't seen me in a long time. Oh, that's right. She hasn't seen me in…oh, three weeks. She's been to busy with Don. Anyways…she looks around the house. It's surprisingly in order. Saidie went on a cleaning spree the other day. I know…it surprised me also.
"Why was Tommy here, honey?" She asks as she takes off her coat and places it on the coat hanger. Okay, there's not a lot of suspicion in her voice so she must just think it was a work related reason for him to be here. Yes! I'm home free now. I love having a clueless mother.
"He was working on Jude…alone…in her room…with the lights off." Comes Saidie's voice from the top of the stairs. Oh. My. God. Why is she so intent on ruining my life! What have I ever done to her! I mean sure she stopped being the center of attention for a few years after I was born, but by the time I turned 6 she was the center of attention again! So why is she torturing me now! It's not fair. Now mom is looking at me sternly. Great….just great. I am really going to get Saidie back…in her sleep.
"Jude Elisabeth, what were you and that boy doing upstairs in your room?" She asks in her motherly voice. "With the lights out." Saidie adds. God she is such a bitch. I hate her! She really has a death wish. And I know Mom is not trying to pull that whole concerned mother card. She has been gone for three weeks basically. I've only seen glimpses of her from whenever she sneaks into the house at one and two o'clock in the morning to get a change of clothes.
"Shut up, Saidie! Why don't you go call one of your boy toys and stay out of my life!" I shout at her. "Bite me!" She says before stomping off into her room. She slams her door shut. I could care less if she is pissed off. I almost got away with having Tommy in my room, but no, she had to open her big stupid mouth. Ugh, I want to be an only child.
"Jude, we need to talk." Mom says. Great. I have a feeling this is going to be a long conversation. No, it's not even going to be a conversation. Conversations are when two people sit down and talk to one another. This is going to be a lecture, mixed with yelling. I'm not going to get to say anything. I just hope she doesn't yell too much because I have a whole lot of anger towards her from he lack of being here lately.
We walk into the front room. She sits down on the couch and I sit down on the floor. That couch needs to be burned. "Jude, honey, why are you on the floor?" She asks. I think the couch at my studio is safer than this one. Okay, maybe not so much, but at least I don't get mental images of naked people when I sit down on the couch at my studio.
"Too many things have happened on that couch." I mumble. She knows what I means, which explains why she changes the subject. "Well we still need to talk." She says. Why isn't she yelling yet? And why does she want to sit? Normally whenever she gives me a lecture she is standing….and she would have already started yelling by now. This is new. And now I'm kinda scared.
"Are you going to tell me why you and Tommy were in your bedroom…alone…with the lights off?" She asks nicely. Okay this new nice mom act is really scaring me. I think I want the yelling…I think. Does she really expect me to give her the honest answer? She would have a heartattack and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to see Tommy for at least a week and after that I know he wouldn't be allowed back in the house…well when she's here at least.
"We were doing anything. We were just lying down talking." I say. Okay you know when your parents and teachers always tell you to think before you speak? Yeah, I now see why they tell us that. It would make life a lot easier if people would think before they speak. Take now for instance, my mom has lost the nice face and now her stern, mean face is on. I can't believe I just said we were lying down.
"Lying down? On your bed? Jude Harrison." She says firmly. Are you kidding me? She is mad just because we were lying down. That's no big deal; nothing to get mad about. Now the thoughts Tommy and I were having is something for her to get mad about. The lying down part was the innocent part.
"No, mom. We were lying on the floor." I say sarcastically. Seriously she is so old school. "Jude, this is not the time for jokes. Who knows what could have happened if Saidie hadn't of walked in there when she did." She says. I know what could have happened! And I hate Saidie even more each time I think about it! Does Mom seriously think I want to stay a virgin forever? I mean come on. The fact that Jamie lost his virginity before me is really sad and depressing.
"Nothing was going to happen mom. It's not a big deal." I say. I just want this conversation to be over. I feel one of those supposed to "touching" mother daughter moments coming on. I really don't feel like having one now…actually I never feel like having one.
"To you it's not a big deal. But it really is honey. I know you are having all these feelings right now." She says. Oh dear god. Here we go again. I swear each time I see her she is talking about my feelings and my hormones. I know I am having them but she doesn't need to know I am! And she doesn't need to act all caring and understanding. I know she is trying to be a mother but what mothers don't get is…we don't want to discuss this with them!
"Mom." I groan, putting my head in my heads. I begin to rub my temples. "Oh, Jude I'm just trying to tell you I know what you are going through. I went through the same thing when I was your age. I just want to make sure you are prepared. I mean I know your hormones are flying and Tommy is really attractive. Especially to a teenage girl. I just want you to tell me if you are having sex or not." She says.
Please tell me she did not just ask me that! You have got to be kidding me. I'm so not going to tell me mother if I'm having sex or not. No girl in there right mind tells their mother if they are having sex! And what makes it more sad is…mothers actually expect you to tell them if you are or not. No. it's never going to happen. Ever. I'm going to kill Saidie. It's her fault I am stuck in this situation anyways. I hope she enjoys looking at her hair because after tonight it's all going to be gone.
"Mom! I don't want to discuss this!" I say. I begin to rub my forehead. "Is that your way of telling me you aren't a virgin anymore? Oh, I hope it was with someone special. I remember when your father and I first had sex. He—" I stop her. "Mom!" I groan loudly. I begin to rub my temples again. I can't believe she was going to tell me about Dad's and her sex life…eww.
I know that's how I got in the world but I don't care. And how did this become a discussion about our sex lives? Not that I have one…sadly enough. I'm almost 18 and I'm still a virgin. And what in God's name would cause her to tell me about her and dad? And why did she jump to the conclusion I'm not a virgin? God parents are so weird. They jump to conclusions too fast.
"I'm sorry honey, I'm just trying to tell you that I hope it was special…and I hope you used protection. Who was it? Was it Tommy? Is it Tommy" She asks. Okay, shoot me now! Seriously. "Mom! Stop! Please. Tommy and I don't…we are just co-workers." I say. She nods her head but I don't think she believes me.
"Your father and I were your age when we first—"I cut her off by standing up. I can't take anymore of this. I'm going after Saidie. "Jude, where are you going?" She asks. "Up to my room…and don't worry…Tommy isn't there." I mumble the last part. I hear her sigh. I know that was mean but I really couldn't take any more of that. That was just…wrong.
I get up the stairs and bang on Saidie's door. She swings it open and gives me a mean look. She has the audacity to give me a mean look? I'm the one who just had to sit and listen to mom talk about how I must be feeling! She really is self centered!
"Don't give me that mean look! Do you know what you just put me through! I had to listen to mom talk about her and dad's first time! Just because you're jealous of me and Tommy's friendship doesn't mean you have to mess up my life!" I shout at her. "Mess up your life? You messed up my life the day you were born!" She shouts back.
"For six years, Saidie! When I turned six you were winning your stupid cheerleading competitions so you were back being the center of attention!" I shout. "Whatever! GET OUT!" She shouts loudly. "Fine, but I would sleep with one eye open, Saidie!" I shout as I walk out of the room, slamming the door shut. "If you're not at one of your boy toy's house!" I shout from outside of the door.
I hear my mom coming up the stairs. "Honestly do you two always have to shout and slam doors?" She asks. "This is our house. Maybe you would be used to it if you were home more often!" I say loudly. Mean, I know but I am pissed right now. Okay and judging from the look on her face that was the wrong thing to say.
"Jude Elisabeth just because I am not home a lot doesn't mean you can talk to me any way you want!" She says. Oh please. "You are NEVER at home, mom! You can't just come home every once in a while and expect everything to be the same!" I shout. Great, first an argument with Saidie and now an argument with Mom.
"You're right! Everything has changed. I have one daughter who stays out all night with a different guy each night and now my youngest daughter is sleeping with a 23 year old!" She shouts. Okay now that was personal. I can't really say what I want to her because she is still my mother, but I can still say something just as hurtful.
"Well why don't you go back to Don! I'm fine living without you!" I shout before walking into my room and slamming my door. I hear Mom sigh angrily then I hear footsteps going down the stairs and then finally the front door shuts. I sigh and flop down on my bed.
You know this day started out really good. I mean I flirted with Tommy at the studio, he came over here, we watched a porno…okay that part was awkward but hey, he was the one who popped it in…the movie that is. God, talking to him is making me so perverted. Anyways, I got to see Tommy jr, something I have wanted to see for a very long time.
Now comes the bad…Saidie walked in and interrupted us, my mom came home and Saidie snitched, my mom had a 'sex conversation' with me, I got into another argument with Saidie, and then I got into an argument with Mom. I'm Jude Harrison: girl who is love with a 24 year old Sex Feen, has a dysfunctional family and watches her bass guitars pornos. Great definition of me, right?
Hmm speaking of the Sex Feen…I wonder what he is doing. He did tell me to call him later. Well…it's been 35 minutes since he left…so it is later. I flip open my phone and press one on my speed dial. I know it's sad but I don't care. I know for a fact that I'm number one on his speed dial: I put it there myself. He answers after two rings.
"Hey, girl." He says. I love the way he says girl. Actually I love his voice. It wasn't until after he told me that he was French that I realized his accent. I always knew he talked a little funny but I never thought it was an accent. Now I'm even more addicted to his voice. That's really sad isn't it? Yeah.
"Hey, what are you doing, Quincy?" I ask. "Nothing, just laying here on my bed thinking about a certain blonde." He says in a flirty voice. I smile widely. You would too if Tom Quincy just told you he was thinking about you. Tommy Quincy actually thinks about me. I wonder if thinks about the other girls on his 'Must Sleep With List.'
"Careful…if you think about me too much you might have to take a shower." I say in a matching flirting voice. I hear him laugh. "Yeah, you're right. What are you doing?" he asks. Nothing, just thinking about what I could have done to you or what you could have done to me if Saidie hadn't of interrupted.
"Nothing." I reply simply. "Did you have to have a talk with your mom?" He asks. "Unfortunately, yes. She now thinks that I have a sex life and that you are the one who took my innocence." I say. I hear him cough on the other end and I giggle. Nice reaction, Quincy.
"And what would give her that idea?" He asks. I could tell he was smirking. I roll my eyes. "My bitch of a sister Saidie told Mom that you were up in my room with me in the dark. Oh and I slipped and said we were lying down on the bed." I say. I hear him chuckle. Must he always laugh at me?
"Smooth, Harrison." He says. "Thanks." I say sarcastically. "You know it's too bad…we really could have done something." He says. I could tell he was hinting around to something, which reminds me.
"So tell me about these sexual phone games, Quincy." I say with a smile. "Are you sure you want me to?" he asks. Duh. "Yeah, I'm sure." I respond. Again, I can tell he is smiling. "Well then just close your eyes and listen." He says. This should be interesting……….
That's update number two for me! I can't believe I actually update two of my fics today…and it's still early! I might even be able to update TOF! Lol. sorry about the long wait! Please tell me what you think!