Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs
Fanfic by Steven Biggs
Chapter Four – The Calm Before the Storm
Tuesday Noon.
Haruka sits in a chair across the table from Motoko. She rests her elbow on the table and places her chin in her palm. After adjusting her cigarette holder for a few seconds, she plunges ahead.
"Is that so? I thought that you vowed to kill my nephew if he ever set foot in Hinata-sou again. Now, you're telling me that you may love him. Are you sure that you didn't hit your head when you fell?"
Motoko shakes her head.
"I am quite uninjured. But, I do not understand why I feel this way inside. What is it if not love?"
"Did Naru help make breakfast? It might just be a case of indigestion."
"Haruka-san, please! This is a serious matter to me."
Haruka holds up her hands.
"Okay, okay. Let's look at this in a fresh light. You've never kissed a guy before, have you?"
Motoko lowers her eyes as she blushes.
"Well I, uh, that is the opportunity never, I mean . . . no, I have not."
"You've always avoided men because of your training, correct?"
"That is correct. Males are distracting to my achieving mastery of the Shinmei art."
"You have never owed your life to another, correct?"
"Never. I pride myself on my self-sufficiency."
Haruka pours another glass of tea and then counts on her fingers.
"Okay. One, you find a new training partner, and she turns out to actually be a man. Two, he saves your life. Three you promise to protect his secret. Four, you accidentally kiss him."
Haruka nods to herself and sips her tea. Motoko leans over the table.
"Then, you have the answer, Haruka-san?"
She finishes her tea and looks at Motoko.
"I haven't got a clue."
Motoko drops her head.
"What do you suggest?"
"What do you feel when you think of him?"
Motoko raises her head and looks at a picture on the wall.
"It is difficult to put into words. I feel, a tightness inside, but it is not unpleasant."
Haruka's eyes look towards the door and then back at Motoko.
"Hello Keitaro, what are you doing back here?"
Haruka watches as Motoko's eyes go wide and her face blushes bright red. Haruka continues before Motoko can turn to look at the door.
"Why are you holding hands with Mutsumi?"
Haruka sees Motoko's brows pull together and a scowl form on her lips. She spins and looks at the door.
"Where, where is he?"
"Sorry about that. I just wanted to do a little experiment."
"That was rather abrupt. I did not expect that of you. Did you learn anything?"
Haruka stands and cleans the table. At the door, Kitsune prepares to enter, but stops outside when she hears the two talking. As Haruka carries the tray to the counter, she answers Motoko.
"Why don't you try kissing Keitaro again? That might give you your answer."
Motoko blushes at the thought.
"How, how can I be so bold? It is not proper for a young woman to force herself upon a man."
"Well, you need to do something, unless you wish to never know."
"I must think about it. Thank you, Haruka-san."
Outside, Kitsune dashes back to Hinata-sou with a wicked smile on her face.
"This is gonna be fun! I gotta get some stuff ready! If I play it right, this'll be a bloodbath! When did Motoko-chan kiss Keitaro anyways? Oh well, at least I'm might get another chance to have some fun with that lying little, panty stealing dweeb!"
Tuesday Afternoon
Naru skips into the Tea Shop, a bright smile on her face. Haruka looks up from the counter and picks up a waiting tray. After placing a bag on an empty chair, Naru sits at a table and stares at the wall without seeing it. Haruka sits in front of her and waves her hand.
"Earth to Naru. Do you read me?"
Naru continues smiling. Haruka smiles and adjusts her cigarette holder.
"Su accidentally cooked your Liddo-kun for lunch today."
Naru reaches up and touches her fingertips to her lips.
"That's nice."
"Motoko and Shinobu are in the hospital getting their stomachs pumped out."
Naru touches her lips again.
"That's nice."
"I'm pregnant with your child."
Fingers to lips once more.
"That's nice."
Haruka reaches over, opens a tube of wasabe paste, and squeezes a dab onto Naru's fingers.
"Fuji-san erupted and destroyed half of Tokyo. Gojira took care of the rest."
Naru's fingers touch her lips. As she speaks, her eyes go wide and she waves her hand over her tongue.
"That's. . . aaahhhh!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Give me something to drink! Hot! Hot!"
Haruka slides a glass toward her.
"Let that be a lesson. Never ignore your elders."
Naru drinks the tea and pours another glass.
"That wasn't funny, Haruka-OBASAN!"
She smiles back at her.
"No need to get rude. You looked rather happy when you came in. Want to tell Haruka-OBASAN about it?"
Naru wipes her lips with a cloth and smiles at Haruka.
"I saw Keitaro today."
Haruka nods her head.
"That is amazing. Who would have thought that you would ever see him, considering that you only go to the same prep school and were planning to see him anyway?"
Naru shakes her head.
"No, no, you don't understand. I saw him today but he didn't see me! That silly guy forgot his glasses!"
"Is that so?"
Naru stands up and acts out what she did.
"Oh yes! I met him at the train station this morning. I stood next to him and he couldn't even tell who I was! I had to take his hand and lead him onto the train. When we got to school, oh it was so funny, we had to share my glasses so that he could see what the instructor was writing!"
Haruka relaxes as she realizes that Naru hasn't discovered Keitaro's secret.
"Did you invite him over to study?"
"Oh yes! He looked so happy when I asked him. It was almost like he was hoping that I would!"
"Is that so?"
"Oh yes! I even had to lead him back to the train station after school. He said that he would be here after he picked up his glasses."
"Is that so?"
"Oh yes! Did you know that he likes pork fried rice?"
"Tell me, do you happen to have the ingredients to make it in your bag?"
Naru blushes and picks up the sack.
"Well, uh, I did have to do some grocery shopping anyway today."
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder and looks at the door.
"Are you going to prepare it or will Shinobu-chan cook for him?"
"Uh, its been a while since I helped in the kitchen, so I might as well help her tonight. I'd better get up there before she starts making anything different. See you later, Haruka-san!"
"Goodbye Naru."
A few minutes after she leaves, Keitaro, wearing his blue contacts, peeks in the door.
"Are any of the girls here, Haruka-san?"
"No, it's safe, come on in. I was afraid that you'd blown it when you left and forgot your glasses."
"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful from now on."
He sits down and lifts the glass of tea Haruka had ready for him. He takes a sip and looks over at her.
"Narusegawa invited me to study tonight. I still haven't been able to think of anything else to explain why Keiko isn't here, so I'll go with the grandmother story."
"Okay. Are you going to ask Motoko to help you?"
Keitaro gags on his tea.
"Wh-what are you talking about?"
Haruka hands him a towel as she sits down.
"She told me that she knows who you are. I think that we can trust her."
"Uh, what else did she tell you?"
She smiles her crafty smile.
"Nothing much. Tell her about the grandmother excuse. She'll back us up."
Keitaro finishes his tea, goes into the backroom, and retrieves his glasses.
"I'll tell them that you told me that Keiko would be late getting home tonight. That should work for today."
Haruka waves to him as he leaves. She picks up the tray and takes it to the counter.
"Good luck. You're going to need it. Shoot, I should have warned him about the rice."
In her room, Kitsune slips into and buttons her tightest fitting blouse. Turning to the mirror, she looks at her figure and smiles. Naru mentioned that she invited Keitaro to study, so she decided to start her plan.
"If this doesn't make that twerp slip up, I'll give up sake!"
Su sits on the windowsill watching her.
"Why'd ya want me for? Are ya right in saying that Keitaro is gonna come back?"
"Yes, he'll be here soon to study with Naru and Mutsumi."
"And ya want me to chase him around with one of my new Mecha-Tamas."
"That's right. Ya'll make sure that he doesn't get a chance to catch his breath."
Su flips off the windowsill and skips towards the door.
"Ya know, ya didn't have to ask me! I'd plan on doing that anyways!"
Kitsune rubs her hands together.
"Alright! Just wait for the signal!"
Su salutes as she closes the door.
"When ya says the word 'rent' I fire! That's a ten-four foxy momma! Charlie Company is in position and ready for action!"
Kitsune shakes her head.
"She really is watching way too many American action movies!"
Naru is helping Shinobu prepare dinner, but the young cook is not quite confident of her suggestions on how to prepare the meal.
"Shinobu-chan, how about we put some more sugar in here to make the rice even sweeter?"
"Aaauuuuu! You already put half a cup in there!"
Naru touches her cheek.
"Hmm, maybe you're right. I'll just pour in some vinegar to cancel it out a little bit!"
Shinobu opens the cabinet for the third time to make sure that the stomach medicine is still there. She then turns to the stove.
"Naru-sempai, I think that the sliced eggplant is starting to burn!"
"That's okay, it should be crunchy, shouldn't it? Let's see, where is that box of baking soda?"
"Aaauuuuu!"
Naru lifts the cover off another pan and sniffs the contents.
"I think that the tempura hotdogs are almost done. I'll just spread some mustard on them after they drain a bit."
Motoko peeks in the door.
"Do you require any assistance, Shinobu-chan?"
The young girl turns and nods, but Naru continues working.
"We're okay, Motoko-chan! Everything is just fine."
Shinobu looks at Motoko with wide eyes and shakes her head. Motoko bows her head and whispers.
"May the spirits preserve us."
The sound of the front door opening is heard. Motoko turns and walks back to the foyer.
"I shall see who has arrived. Was anyone expecting a guest?"
Naru continues cooking for a few moments before what Motoko said registers. She quickly looks at Shinobu.
"Oh my god! I forgot to tell her that Keitaro was coming! She swore to kill him if he ever came back!"
"Aaauuuuu! She'll k-k-kill him?"
Motoko turns the corner into the foyer and spots Keitaro as he hangs up his coat. He turns and waves at her.
"Hello, Motoko-chan."
"Ura-urashima!"
She looks over her shoulder and then whispers to him.
"Why are you here without your disguise?"
"Narusegawa invited me to study with her and Mutsumi-san. I need all the help I can get if I'm ever going to make it into Toudai."
Motoko nods.
"That is true. I mean, it is well that you grasp a fine opportunity such as this!"
Keitaro takes a few steps towards her and smiles.
"I'm sorry again about this morning, and I really am grateful that you didn't tell them about my secret. If there is anything that I can do for you, just ask."
She blushes as he nears her. She looks at the floor as she places her hands behind her back.
"Urashima. There is one favor. . ."
Naru and Shinobu burst through the dining room and run for the foyer.
"Motoko-sempai! Aaauuuuu! I can't look. Has she already killed him?"
"Motoko-chan! Please don't hurt him! I invited him here!"
Naru rushes past her and throws her body against Keitaro to protect him from an attack. As they hit the wall, Naru's lips accidentally press against his. Motoko stares at them for a few seconds and begins to shiver.
"Urashima, what are . . .? Urashima! URASHIMA!"
She draws her sword and pulls Naru away, tossing her like a doll to the floor. Flames leap from her eyes as she swings, stopping just as the edge of the blade touches his throat. Keitaro tries to speak.
"M-m-motoko-chan. . ."
Motoko steps back and prepares her attack.
"Speak not, deceiver! You vile, lecherous male! SHINMEI SCHOOL SECRET ARTS! AIR, AIR, air. . ."
Motoko lowers her sword and looks at her fists clenched around the hilt. She looks up and sees an expression of utter terror on Keitaro's face. Slowly, her fingers loosen their grip and the blade falls to the floor.
"Urashima, I, I am. . ."
Turning quickly, she runs for the stairs as Keitaro slides to the floor.
End of Chapter Four.
Fanfic by Steven Biggs
Chapter Four – The Calm Before the Storm
Tuesday Noon.
Haruka sits in a chair across the table from Motoko. She rests her elbow on the table and places her chin in her palm. After adjusting her cigarette holder for a few seconds, she plunges ahead.
"Is that so? I thought that you vowed to kill my nephew if he ever set foot in Hinata-sou again. Now, you're telling me that you may love him. Are you sure that you didn't hit your head when you fell?"
Motoko shakes her head.
"I am quite uninjured. But, I do not understand why I feel this way inside. What is it if not love?"
"Did Naru help make breakfast? It might just be a case of indigestion."
"Haruka-san, please! This is a serious matter to me."
Haruka holds up her hands.
"Okay, okay. Let's look at this in a fresh light. You've never kissed a guy before, have you?"
Motoko lowers her eyes as she blushes.
"Well I, uh, that is the opportunity never, I mean . . . no, I have not."
"You've always avoided men because of your training, correct?"
"That is correct. Males are distracting to my achieving mastery of the Shinmei art."
"You have never owed your life to another, correct?"
"Never. I pride myself on my self-sufficiency."
Haruka pours another glass of tea and then counts on her fingers.
"Okay. One, you find a new training partner, and she turns out to actually be a man. Two, he saves your life. Three you promise to protect his secret. Four, you accidentally kiss him."
Haruka nods to herself and sips her tea. Motoko leans over the table.
"Then, you have the answer, Haruka-san?"
She finishes her tea and looks at Motoko.
"I haven't got a clue."
Motoko drops her head.
"What do you suggest?"
"What do you feel when you think of him?"
Motoko raises her head and looks at a picture on the wall.
"It is difficult to put into words. I feel, a tightness inside, but it is not unpleasant."
Haruka's eyes look towards the door and then back at Motoko.
"Hello Keitaro, what are you doing back here?"
Haruka watches as Motoko's eyes go wide and her face blushes bright red. Haruka continues before Motoko can turn to look at the door.
"Why are you holding hands with Mutsumi?"
Haruka sees Motoko's brows pull together and a scowl form on her lips. She spins and looks at the door.
"Where, where is he?"
"Sorry about that. I just wanted to do a little experiment."
"That was rather abrupt. I did not expect that of you. Did you learn anything?"
Haruka stands and cleans the table. At the door, Kitsune prepares to enter, but stops outside when she hears the two talking. As Haruka carries the tray to the counter, she answers Motoko.
"Why don't you try kissing Keitaro again? That might give you your answer."
Motoko blushes at the thought.
"How, how can I be so bold? It is not proper for a young woman to force herself upon a man."
"Well, you need to do something, unless you wish to never know."
"I must think about it. Thank you, Haruka-san."
Outside, Kitsune dashes back to Hinata-sou with a wicked smile on her face.
"This is gonna be fun! I gotta get some stuff ready! If I play it right, this'll be a bloodbath! When did Motoko-chan kiss Keitaro anyways? Oh well, at least I'm might get another chance to have some fun with that lying little, panty stealing dweeb!"
Tuesday Afternoon
Naru skips into the Tea Shop, a bright smile on her face. Haruka looks up from the counter and picks up a waiting tray. After placing a bag on an empty chair, Naru sits at a table and stares at the wall without seeing it. Haruka sits in front of her and waves her hand.
"Earth to Naru. Do you read me?"
Naru continues smiling. Haruka smiles and adjusts her cigarette holder.
"Su accidentally cooked your Liddo-kun for lunch today."
Naru reaches up and touches her fingertips to her lips.
"That's nice."
"Motoko and Shinobu are in the hospital getting their stomachs pumped out."
Naru touches her lips again.
"That's nice."
"I'm pregnant with your child."
Fingers to lips once more.
"That's nice."
Haruka reaches over, opens a tube of wasabe paste, and squeezes a dab onto Naru's fingers.
"Fuji-san erupted and destroyed half of Tokyo. Gojira took care of the rest."
Naru's fingers touch her lips. As she speaks, her eyes go wide and she waves her hand over her tongue.
"That's. . . aaahhhh!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Give me something to drink! Hot! Hot!"
Haruka slides a glass toward her.
"Let that be a lesson. Never ignore your elders."
Naru drinks the tea and pours another glass.
"That wasn't funny, Haruka-OBASAN!"
She smiles back at her.
"No need to get rude. You looked rather happy when you came in. Want to tell Haruka-OBASAN about it?"
Naru wipes her lips with a cloth and smiles at Haruka.
"I saw Keitaro today."
Haruka nods her head.
"That is amazing. Who would have thought that you would ever see him, considering that you only go to the same prep school and were planning to see him anyway?"
Naru shakes her head.
"No, no, you don't understand. I saw him today but he didn't see me! That silly guy forgot his glasses!"
"Is that so?"
Naru stands up and acts out what she did.
"Oh yes! I met him at the train station this morning. I stood next to him and he couldn't even tell who I was! I had to take his hand and lead him onto the train. When we got to school, oh it was so funny, we had to share my glasses so that he could see what the instructor was writing!"
Haruka relaxes as she realizes that Naru hasn't discovered Keitaro's secret.
"Did you invite him over to study?"
"Oh yes! He looked so happy when I asked him. It was almost like he was hoping that I would!"
"Is that so?"
"Oh yes! I even had to lead him back to the train station after school. He said that he would be here after he picked up his glasses."
"Is that so?"
"Oh yes! Did you know that he likes pork fried rice?"
"Tell me, do you happen to have the ingredients to make it in your bag?"
Naru blushes and picks up the sack.
"Well, uh, I did have to do some grocery shopping anyway today."
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder and looks at the door.
"Are you going to prepare it or will Shinobu-chan cook for him?"
"Uh, its been a while since I helped in the kitchen, so I might as well help her tonight. I'd better get up there before she starts making anything different. See you later, Haruka-san!"
"Goodbye Naru."
A few minutes after she leaves, Keitaro, wearing his blue contacts, peeks in the door.
"Are any of the girls here, Haruka-san?"
"No, it's safe, come on in. I was afraid that you'd blown it when you left and forgot your glasses."
"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful from now on."
He sits down and lifts the glass of tea Haruka had ready for him. He takes a sip and looks over at her.
"Narusegawa invited me to study tonight. I still haven't been able to think of anything else to explain why Keiko isn't here, so I'll go with the grandmother story."
"Okay. Are you going to ask Motoko to help you?"
Keitaro gags on his tea.
"Wh-what are you talking about?"
Haruka hands him a towel as she sits down.
"She told me that she knows who you are. I think that we can trust her."
"Uh, what else did she tell you?"
She smiles her crafty smile.
"Nothing much. Tell her about the grandmother excuse. She'll back us up."
Keitaro finishes his tea, goes into the backroom, and retrieves his glasses.
"I'll tell them that you told me that Keiko would be late getting home tonight. That should work for today."
Haruka waves to him as he leaves. She picks up the tray and takes it to the counter.
"Good luck. You're going to need it. Shoot, I should have warned him about the rice."
In her room, Kitsune slips into and buttons her tightest fitting blouse. Turning to the mirror, she looks at her figure and smiles. Naru mentioned that she invited Keitaro to study, so she decided to start her plan.
"If this doesn't make that twerp slip up, I'll give up sake!"
Su sits on the windowsill watching her.
"Why'd ya want me for? Are ya right in saying that Keitaro is gonna come back?"
"Yes, he'll be here soon to study with Naru and Mutsumi."
"And ya want me to chase him around with one of my new Mecha-Tamas."
"That's right. Ya'll make sure that he doesn't get a chance to catch his breath."
Su flips off the windowsill and skips towards the door.
"Ya know, ya didn't have to ask me! I'd plan on doing that anyways!"
Kitsune rubs her hands together.
"Alright! Just wait for the signal!"
Su salutes as she closes the door.
"When ya says the word 'rent' I fire! That's a ten-four foxy momma! Charlie Company is in position and ready for action!"
Kitsune shakes her head.
"She really is watching way too many American action movies!"
Naru is helping Shinobu prepare dinner, but the young cook is not quite confident of her suggestions on how to prepare the meal.
"Shinobu-chan, how about we put some more sugar in here to make the rice even sweeter?"
"Aaauuuuu! You already put half a cup in there!"
Naru touches her cheek.
"Hmm, maybe you're right. I'll just pour in some vinegar to cancel it out a little bit!"
Shinobu opens the cabinet for the third time to make sure that the stomach medicine is still there. She then turns to the stove.
"Naru-sempai, I think that the sliced eggplant is starting to burn!"
"That's okay, it should be crunchy, shouldn't it? Let's see, where is that box of baking soda?"
"Aaauuuuu!"
Naru lifts the cover off another pan and sniffs the contents.
"I think that the tempura hotdogs are almost done. I'll just spread some mustard on them after they drain a bit."
Motoko peeks in the door.
"Do you require any assistance, Shinobu-chan?"
The young girl turns and nods, but Naru continues working.
"We're okay, Motoko-chan! Everything is just fine."
Shinobu looks at Motoko with wide eyes and shakes her head. Motoko bows her head and whispers.
"May the spirits preserve us."
The sound of the front door opening is heard. Motoko turns and walks back to the foyer.
"I shall see who has arrived. Was anyone expecting a guest?"
Naru continues cooking for a few moments before what Motoko said registers. She quickly looks at Shinobu.
"Oh my god! I forgot to tell her that Keitaro was coming! She swore to kill him if he ever came back!"
"Aaauuuuu! She'll k-k-kill him?"
Motoko turns the corner into the foyer and spots Keitaro as he hangs up his coat. He turns and waves at her.
"Hello, Motoko-chan."
"Ura-urashima!"
She looks over her shoulder and then whispers to him.
"Why are you here without your disguise?"
"Narusegawa invited me to study with her and Mutsumi-san. I need all the help I can get if I'm ever going to make it into Toudai."
Motoko nods.
"That is true. I mean, it is well that you grasp a fine opportunity such as this!"
Keitaro takes a few steps towards her and smiles.
"I'm sorry again about this morning, and I really am grateful that you didn't tell them about my secret. If there is anything that I can do for you, just ask."
She blushes as he nears her. She looks at the floor as she places her hands behind her back.
"Urashima. There is one favor. . ."
Naru and Shinobu burst through the dining room and run for the foyer.
"Motoko-sempai! Aaauuuuu! I can't look. Has she already killed him?"
"Motoko-chan! Please don't hurt him! I invited him here!"
Naru rushes past her and throws her body against Keitaro to protect him from an attack. As they hit the wall, Naru's lips accidentally press against his. Motoko stares at them for a few seconds and begins to shiver.
"Urashima, what are . . .? Urashima! URASHIMA!"
She draws her sword and pulls Naru away, tossing her like a doll to the floor. Flames leap from her eyes as she swings, stopping just as the edge of the blade touches his throat. Keitaro tries to speak.
"M-m-motoko-chan. . ."
Motoko steps back and prepares her attack.
"Speak not, deceiver! You vile, lecherous male! SHINMEI SCHOOL SECRET ARTS! AIR, AIR, air. . ."
Motoko lowers her sword and looks at her fists clenched around the hilt. She looks up and sees an expression of utter terror on Keitaro's face. Slowly, her fingers loosen their grip and the blade falls to the floor.
"Urashima, I, I am. . ."
Turning quickly, she runs for the stairs as Keitaro slides to the floor.
End of Chapter Four.