Love Hina – I, My, Oh Dear Me! Scrambled Strawberry Eggs
Fanfic by Steven Biggs
Chapter Seven – Dirty Laundry
Tuesday Night.
In the kitchen, Kitsune shuffles her feet and rubs the back of her head.
"I'm really sorry, Haruka-san. I was just havin' a little fun. I didn't mean any harm."
Haruka, unable to voice her real concern without revealing Keiko's true identity, chooses another tack.
"Until further notice, you're on the wagon. No more sake for you, young woman!"
"Haruka-san! Isn't that going a little too far? It's not like I really hurt anybody!"
The Tea Shop owner crosses her arms.
"You heard me. You're going to stay sober until you've learned your lesson. No arguments."
"But, Haruka-san!"
"No buts! I am not going to let you push your luck with this new manager. She doesn't need that kind of trouble. In addition, that kind of behavior is a bad influence on poor Shinobu-chan. We don't need her hiding every time you come into the room. She's at the age where she is starting to notice boys and you go and pull a stunt like this."
"Hey, it's not like I kissed a real woman. It's only Keitaro-san."
Kitsune quickly covers her mouth and her eyes go wide. Haruka looks to make sure the door is closed and moves to the table. She pushes Kitsune into a chair and leans over her.
"What did you say?"
"N-nothing! Nothing at all! I didn't say anything!"
"You said Keitaro. How long have you known?"
"I don't know anything!"
"Konno Mitsune-san!"
Hearing her real name shakes her.
"Don't talk like that! You scare me when you call me by my real name!"
Haruka turns an unblinking gaze on her. The fox lowers her head.
"I give. I know that Keiko-san is really your nephew in disguise. I saw him come out of the Tea Shop without his wig tonight and thought I'd play a little joke."
Haruka sighs.
"What do you plan to do with this information?"
Kitsune swallows at the unvoiced threat.
"I promise to keep it a secret. Ya'll must have some kind of reason for doing this."
Haruka nods her head.
"He just wants a chance to prove that a man can be as good a manager for a woman's dorm as a woman can. You girls never even gave him a fair chance before. Especially Motoko-chan."
Kitsune snickers.
"Oh boy, she'll sure be surprised if she finds out that our manager is really her boyfriend!"
Haruka looks out the window.
"Uh, I suppose that's true. But, you will keep your promise and not tell anyone. Won't you?"
"Ya'll don't have to worry. I won't say a word."
The fox smiles.
"But it'll cost ya!"
Haruka turns back to her and narrows her eyes.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I want you to lift the sake ban!"
"Nothing doing. You still need to learn a lesson."
"Do you want the residents to know that you and Keitaro-san kissed?"
""I have a bottle of thirty-year old sake in my store. Will that buy your silence?"
Kitsune puts her hand out.
"Ya'll got yourself a deal!"
Shinobu walks in the door, looking carefully behind her. Haruka turns to her.
"Why are you sneaking around like that, Shinobu?"
The young cook wrings her hands.
"Ah, well, uh, that is, I'm going to fix dinner."
Kitsune looks at her.
"I thought that you and Naru already made dinner?"
Shinobu nods her head.
"We did, but I'm going to fix it."
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder.
"What are you talking about?"
Kitsune smiles and answers.
"Ya ever see fried rice with blueberries?"
Haruka nods her head in understanding.
"Naru took charge of cooking dinner."
Shinobu reaches into the bottom of the china cabinet and pulls out an old gas mask.
"I thought that Sempai was going to die! And we don't have enough stomach medicine for everyone. Aaauuuuu!"
She dons the mask and carefully opens the door to the kitchen. Reaching back to the cabinet, she grabs an extra cooking pan.
"Aaauuuuu! I think I saw dinner move!"
Kitsune throws a hand over her mouth and runs out of the room. Haruka pulls a handkerchief from her apron and, placing it over her nose, follows Shinobu into the kitchen.
After replacing Naru's dishes of disaster with more palatable fair, Shinobu calls everyone to dinner and they eat without incident.
Wednesday Morning
Shinobu makes the rounds after breakfast to collect the day's laundry. Stopping at the manager's room, she knocks on the door. She taps her head with her fist.
"Silly me! The manager went grocery shopping with Motoko-sempai this morning."
She moves to the hamper and dumps the contents into her laundry basket. As she sets the hamper down, she spots a bag partially hidden behind the wastebasket. Opening it, she finds a wet bra and some pads. She stares at the round objects for a few seconds.
"What are these things? Maybe they're those new shoulder pads that I heard some of the girls at school talking about. Wow, our new manager sure keeps up with the latest trends!"
Curious, Shinobu opens a drawer and finds another dry pair. She lifts them up and smiles.
"Maybe, I'll try these! I hope Keiko-sempai doesn't mind. I can't wait to show Su-chan!"
She hurries downstairs to finish the laundry so that she can try the pads.
In town, Motoko and Keiko walk back towards the inn with sacks of groceries. Motoko smiles at him occasionally as she steals glances at him.
"Keitaro, now that I think about it, you make an extremely attractive woman."
Keiko blushes.
"Don't say that, it's embarrassing!"
The sword master looks up at the sky.
"I understand your need to wear a brassier to complete your disguise, but, I was wondering about something."
He turns his head and looks at her.
"What's that, Motoko-chan?"
"Are you currently wearing male or female underpants?"
He blushes again.
"That's an awfully personal question!"
Motoko remains silent as they continue walking. Presently, Keiko clears his throat.
"I never know when someone might walk in on me, so, uh, I have to keep my wardrobe complete."
Motoko smiles again and stops walking.
"What do you think?"
Keiko looks at her again.
"What do you mean, Motoko-chan?"
She points at the store next to them. Keiko's eyes widen in shock.
"No! I'm, I'm not g-going in there!"
Motoko tilts her head.
"Come now, Keitaro. You could not have much variety in the one suitcase you came with. You should, expand your wardrobe. It may take some time until you can end this charade."
"No!"
She takes his hand and drags him into the store. The sign above the window reads:
(Hinata Woman's Boutique and Lingerie)
Forty-five minutes later, they exit the shop. Keiko, his face bright red, pulls his new sunbonnet lower to cover his face.
"I feel like a real pervert now."
Motoko smiles as she lifts the two new bags of clothes.
"Nonsense. Silk is the mark of a true lady. And, I approve of you color choice. You indeed have a knack for picking women's clothing."
"Shut up. I don't want to talk about it."
"Do not pout, Keitaro. I read in one of Konno-san's magazines that a valuable quality of a man is the ability to be mindful of a woman's fashion sense."
Keiko trudges along the sidewalk.
"That may be so, but it isn't a woman that's gonna be wearing this stuff."
Motoko thinks for a moment.
"If it will make you feel better, I shall try them first so that you can see how they look on an actual female."
He looks over at her.
"You will? Will you try them all?"
The sword master nods her head.
"Yes, I will be happy to model them for you."
Keiko blushes.
"Even, even the t-teddy?"
Motoko scowls at him.
"Do not push your luck, Urashima."
He hangs his head.
"I, I actually bought that for you, Motoko-chan."
Motoko looks forward as they continue walking.
"Pervert male."
Keiko turns his head and looks at her.
"You're blushing, Motoko-chan."
"I am not! It, it is just very warm this morning!"
He smiles and pokes her arm.
"Pervert kendo-girl."
She takes a few steps ahead and turns to face him.
"You dare call me perverted?"
He smiles broadly.
"Well, everyone did see you kissing me last night while I was disguised as Keiko."
"That was not in the least a perverted act. I knew that you are actually a male."
"Then, it doesn't bother you to kiss a man dressed as a woman?"
Motoko shakes her head.
"Regardless of attire, a man is still a man."
"Then, prove it."
Motoko blushes and smiles.
"I accept your challenge, Keitaro."
She reaches up and places her hands on his cheeks. Leaning forward, she kisses him.
"Aaauuuuu!"
Turning quickly around, Motoko spots Shinobu standing before them, hand held to her mouth. Motoko raises her hands.
"This, this is not what it seems, Shinobu-chan! I, I . . ."
Keiko steps next to Motoko.
"I had, uh, something in my eye and Motoko-san was assisting me!"
"Yes! I was just helping the manager!"
Shinobu releases her breath and lowers her hands.
"Thank goodness! I hate when something gets in my eye."
Motoko stares at the young cook, trying to determine what is different.
"Shinobu-chan, did, did something happen to you? You are, bigger."
Shinobu blushes.
"Well, I borrowed these shoulder pads from the manager's room. I hope that you don't mind Sempai!"
Keiko stares at Shinobu's chest.
"Shoulder pads?"
"Yes! But, Su-chan thought they would work better like this. What do you think?"
Motoko tilts her head.
"Impressive. However, I believe that you are, shall we say, lopsided?"
Shinobu looks down and grabs at the pads.
"Aaauuuuu! I taped them to the inside of my shirt, but they must've come loose!"
She turns and runs back towards Hinata-sou, still trying to hold the pads in place. Motoko sighs and looks at Keiko.
"You should keep those in hiding. I dread what would happen if Naru-sempai or Konno-san had found them."
Keiko wipes at his forehead.
"At least she didn't find my supporter. That would be difficult to explain."
As they reach the top of the steps, a rock shoots past, barely missing Keiko's head.
"Where did that come from?"
They look up and see Su on the top of the entryway. She waves at them.
"Sorry! My bad! I'm still practicing with this neat sling that I found in your room, manager-lady! Do ya likes to hunt and stuff?"
Keiko stares as Su loads another rock into the supporter.
"Oh heck."
End of Chapter Seven.
Fanfic by Steven Biggs
Chapter Seven – Dirty Laundry
Tuesday Night.
In the kitchen, Kitsune shuffles her feet and rubs the back of her head.
"I'm really sorry, Haruka-san. I was just havin' a little fun. I didn't mean any harm."
Haruka, unable to voice her real concern without revealing Keiko's true identity, chooses another tack.
"Until further notice, you're on the wagon. No more sake for you, young woman!"
"Haruka-san! Isn't that going a little too far? It's not like I really hurt anybody!"
The Tea Shop owner crosses her arms.
"You heard me. You're going to stay sober until you've learned your lesson. No arguments."
"But, Haruka-san!"
"No buts! I am not going to let you push your luck with this new manager. She doesn't need that kind of trouble. In addition, that kind of behavior is a bad influence on poor Shinobu-chan. We don't need her hiding every time you come into the room. She's at the age where she is starting to notice boys and you go and pull a stunt like this."
"Hey, it's not like I kissed a real woman. It's only Keitaro-san."
Kitsune quickly covers her mouth and her eyes go wide. Haruka looks to make sure the door is closed and moves to the table. She pushes Kitsune into a chair and leans over her.
"What did you say?"
"N-nothing! Nothing at all! I didn't say anything!"
"You said Keitaro. How long have you known?"
"I don't know anything!"
"Konno Mitsune-san!"
Hearing her real name shakes her.
"Don't talk like that! You scare me when you call me by my real name!"
Haruka turns an unblinking gaze on her. The fox lowers her head.
"I give. I know that Keiko-san is really your nephew in disguise. I saw him come out of the Tea Shop without his wig tonight and thought I'd play a little joke."
Haruka sighs.
"What do you plan to do with this information?"
Kitsune swallows at the unvoiced threat.
"I promise to keep it a secret. Ya'll must have some kind of reason for doing this."
Haruka nods her head.
"He just wants a chance to prove that a man can be as good a manager for a woman's dorm as a woman can. You girls never even gave him a fair chance before. Especially Motoko-chan."
Kitsune snickers.
"Oh boy, she'll sure be surprised if she finds out that our manager is really her boyfriend!"
Haruka looks out the window.
"Uh, I suppose that's true. But, you will keep your promise and not tell anyone. Won't you?"
"Ya'll don't have to worry. I won't say a word."
The fox smiles.
"But it'll cost ya!"
Haruka turns back to her and narrows her eyes.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I want you to lift the sake ban!"
"Nothing doing. You still need to learn a lesson."
"Do you want the residents to know that you and Keitaro-san kissed?"
""I have a bottle of thirty-year old sake in my store. Will that buy your silence?"
Kitsune puts her hand out.
"Ya'll got yourself a deal!"
Shinobu walks in the door, looking carefully behind her. Haruka turns to her.
"Why are you sneaking around like that, Shinobu?"
The young cook wrings her hands.
"Ah, well, uh, that is, I'm going to fix dinner."
Kitsune looks at her.
"I thought that you and Naru already made dinner?"
Shinobu nods her head.
"We did, but I'm going to fix it."
Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder.
"What are you talking about?"
Kitsune smiles and answers.
"Ya ever see fried rice with blueberries?"
Haruka nods her head in understanding.
"Naru took charge of cooking dinner."
Shinobu reaches into the bottom of the china cabinet and pulls out an old gas mask.
"I thought that Sempai was going to die! And we don't have enough stomach medicine for everyone. Aaauuuuu!"
She dons the mask and carefully opens the door to the kitchen. Reaching back to the cabinet, she grabs an extra cooking pan.
"Aaauuuuu! I think I saw dinner move!"
Kitsune throws a hand over her mouth and runs out of the room. Haruka pulls a handkerchief from her apron and, placing it over her nose, follows Shinobu into the kitchen.
After replacing Naru's dishes of disaster with more palatable fair, Shinobu calls everyone to dinner and they eat without incident.
Wednesday Morning
Shinobu makes the rounds after breakfast to collect the day's laundry. Stopping at the manager's room, she knocks on the door. She taps her head with her fist.
"Silly me! The manager went grocery shopping with Motoko-sempai this morning."
She moves to the hamper and dumps the contents into her laundry basket. As she sets the hamper down, she spots a bag partially hidden behind the wastebasket. Opening it, she finds a wet bra and some pads. She stares at the round objects for a few seconds.
"What are these things? Maybe they're those new shoulder pads that I heard some of the girls at school talking about. Wow, our new manager sure keeps up with the latest trends!"
Curious, Shinobu opens a drawer and finds another dry pair. She lifts them up and smiles.
"Maybe, I'll try these! I hope Keiko-sempai doesn't mind. I can't wait to show Su-chan!"
She hurries downstairs to finish the laundry so that she can try the pads.
In town, Motoko and Keiko walk back towards the inn with sacks of groceries. Motoko smiles at him occasionally as she steals glances at him.
"Keitaro, now that I think about it, you make an extremely attractive woman."
Keiko blushes.
"Don't say that, it's embarrassing!"
The sword master looks up at the sky.
"I understand your need to wear a brassier to complete your disguise, but, I was wondering about something."
He turns his head and looks at her.
"What's that, Motoko-chan?"
"Are you currently wearing male or female underpants?"
He blushes again.
"That's an awfully personal question!"
Motoko remains silent as they continue walking. Presently, Keiko clears his throat.
"I never know when someone might walk in on me, so, uh, I have to keep my wardrobe complete."
Motoko smiles again and stops walking.
"What do you think?"
Keiko looks at her again.
"What do you mean, Motoko-chan?"
She points at the store next to them. Keiko's eyes widen in shock.
"No! I'm, I'm not g-going in there!"
Motoko tilts her head.
"Come now, Keitaro. You could not have much variety in the one suitcase you came with. You should, expand your wardrobe. It may take some time until you can end this charade."
"No!"
She takes his hand and drags him into the store. The sign above the window reads:
(Hinata Woman's Boutique and Lingerie)
Forty-five minutes later, they exit the shop. Keiko, his face bright red, pulls his new sunbonnet lower to cover his face.
"I feel like a real pervert now."
Motoko smiles as she lifts the two new bags of clothes.
"Nonsense. Silk is the mark of a true lady. And, I approve of you color choice. You indeed have a knack for picking women's clothing."
"Shut up. I don't want to talk about it."
"Do not pout, Keitaro. I read in one of Konno-san's magazines that a valuable quality of a man is the ability to be mindful of a woman's fashion sense."
Keiko trudges along the sidewalk.
"That may be so, but it isn't a woman that's gonna be wearing this stuff."
Motoko thinks for a moment.
"If it will make you feel better, I shall try them first so that you can see how they look on an actual female."
He looks over at her.
"You will? Will you try them all?"
The sword master nods her head.
"Yes, I will be happy to model them for you."
Keiko blushes.
"Even, even the t-teddy?"
Motoko scowls at him.
"Do not push your luck, Urashima."
He hangs his head.
"I, I actually bought that for you, Motoko-chan."
Motoko looks forward as they continue walking.
"Pervert male."
Keiko turns his head and looks at her.
"You're blushing, Motoko-chan."
"I am not! It, it is just very warm this morning!"
He smiles and pokes her arm.
"Pervert kendo-girl."
She takes a few steps ahead and turns to face him.
"You dare call me perverted?"
He smiles broadly.
"Well, everyone did see you kissing me last night while I was disguised as Keiko."
"That was not in the least a perverted act. I knew that you are actually a male."
"Then, it doesn't bother you to kiss a man dressed as a woman?"
Motoko shakes her head.
"Regardless of attire, a man is still a man."
"Then, prove it."
Motoko blushes and smiles.
"I accept your challenge, Keitaro."
She reaches up and places her hands on his cheeks. Leaning forward, she kisses him.
"Aaauuuuu!"
Turning quickly around, Motoko spots Shinobu standing before them, hand held to her mouth. Motoko raises her hands.
"This, this is not what it seems, Shinobu-chan! I, I . . ."
Keiko steps next to Motoko.
"I had, uh, something in my eye and Motoko-san was assisting me!"
"Yes! I was just helping the manager!"
Shinobu releases her breath and lowers her hands.
"Thank goodness! I hate when something gets in my eye."
Motoko stares at the young cook, trying to determine what is different.
"Shinobu-chan, did, did something happen to you? You are, bigger."
Shinobu blushes.
"Well, I borrowed these shoulder pads from the manager's room. I hope that you don't mind Sempai!"
Keiko stares at Shinobu's chest.
"Shoulder pads?"
"Yes! But, Su-chan thought they would work better like this. What do you think?"
Motoko tilts her head.
"Impressive. However, I believe that you are, shall we say, lopsided?"
Shinobu looks down and grabs at the pads.
"Aaauuuuu! I taped them to the inside of my shirt, but they must've come loose!"
She turns and runs back towards Hinata-sou, still trying to hold the pads in place. Motoko sighs and looks at Keiko.
"You should keep those in hiding. I dread what would happen if Naru-sempai or Konno-san had found them."
Keiko wipes at his forehead.
"At least she didn't find my supporter. That would be difficult to explain."
As they reach the top of the steps, a rock shoots past, barely missing Keiko's head.
"Where did that come from?"
They look up and see Su on the top of the entryway. She waves at them.
"Sorry! My bad! I'm still practicing with this neat sling that I found in your room, manager-lady! Do ya likes to hunt and stuff?"
Keiko stares as Su loads another rock into the supporter.
"Oh heck."
End of Chapter Seven.