Disclaimer: I do know own anything…just my mind…the characters were borrowed from J.K. Rowling, but if you're reading this, I'm sure you already know this, huh?

Summary: crazy drabbles. Mainly about the Dark Lord, Bellatrix and Remus/Remuswolf.

Warning: Some of these stories can seriously drive you insane.Don't read them if you're a sensitive person, please.

Genre: humour/parody

Great Hall

Severus: (whispers something to his Slytherins)

Slytherins: ( mumble mumble werewolf mumble professor mumble mumble)

Remus: (continues drinking a suspicious red drink in the staff' table without realising a lot of Slytherins are pointing at him and some crazy girls- Pankinson and Malfoy- are howling in the middle of the Great Hall)

Rumours: (are spreading…becoming bigger, enormous .HUGE. )

Albus: Remus…I'm truly sorry…(shakes head)…

Remus: (munches some chocolate)Oh, what now, Albus…I'm busy, you see…

Albus: You're no longer busy, Remus. You're fired.

Remus: (mouth open…the chocolate bar falls on the floor)No, you can't…I need the money!I…

Albus: You should have saved some money, better than waste it in your whits and handcuffs collection-

Remus: Hush, Albus, there are too many kiddies here, maybe another time…

Albus: (coughs) Back ON THEME…You're .fired .full. stop .

Remus: And what about the next year Mary Sues? They'll have to stand the greasy bat…

Albus: They have better people to stand…(coughs)OK. Mr. Lupin, I wanna you to leave Hogwarts tomorrow, before parents' owls full of complaints about werewolves arrive-

Remus: WTF!!!WHO KNOWS I'M A WEREWOLF?...(huge silence)

Gryffindors: …(mouth open…Percy Weasley is taking quick notes)

Ravenclaws: …(wide eyes…Marietta Edgecombe and some more chicks are shrieking in panic)

Hufflepuff:…(tongue out…Terry Boot is trying not to faint while Justin Finch-Fletchey drools)

Slytherins and Snape: (sly smirk and shared thought: Gryloser)

Albus: You fool.(raises voice)For our school' safety, Mr.Lupin will be fired.

Dean Thomas: (kneels and begs)Noooo, please…he's the best DADA professor I-we've ever had…please…(has suspicious marks all over his body)

Harry Potter: (keeps eating)

Hermione Granger: Well, he could've killed us.(keeps eating)

Ron Weasley: (is absent-mindedly looking at some point in the Hufflepuff table while he tries to put his knife with a sausage in his mouth)

Draco Malfoy: Yay, kill yourself, weasel! Less future work for me!

Ron' cheeks and nose: (are full with tomato)

Draco Malfoy: Mmmm…it looks like blood…(drools)

Remus: (meanwhile)No, Albus! I'm starving!(puppy wolf eyes)

Albus: No!Those eyes no!

Severus: (coming to the Headmaster'….rescue….)Leave Hogwarts, you wolf. Only humans allowed here.

Remus: (runs away crying)

HP fans: Aww…poor Moony…How dare you, bat…do you think on yourself as a human?

Severus: Don't abuse me or I'll call for my Mary Sues Army…

Mary Sue #1:My beauty appeared for the first time in a Star Trek fanfic…(waves blond hair while her eyes change colour)

Severus: wrong fic, dude… (sneers .Mary Sue #1 runs away pouting)

And next scene will be…(whistles) No hints at all, people!