A/N: Hey guys! Next chapter, and it's a long one. Yeah! I'm not sure how much I like it in general, but I think there are individual scenes I love.

I think now's a good time to explain a bit about where this story came from; essentially. At it's core, it is about when someone commits suicide, why they choose to do it, and how it affects people that don't know the person, or don't like them, or are close with that person. It should be pretty self-explanatory how people would feel, they'd feel loss, anger, sadness. What's not always self-explanatory is why someone would commit suicide, and how the said people who are affected deal with it. But there's more to this than just those feelings and I'll get into the specifics later because I am still trying to figure out how to explain it to you guys so for now, just read and enjoy.

Remember to review. Don't be afraid to tell me you think it sucks, ok? And if you like it at all, please tell those who write HP fanfics or anybody that writes fanfics about this story.

Disclaimer: I don't think so…if I had millions of dollars like JK Rowling, would I be writing fanfics? Hmmm…

Warnings: Some language, some violence. It gets a little depressing in this chapter I think. Other than that…

Wake Up

The next day started out better for Hermione. She was also thankful to get through the morning and so far the early afternoon with out another episode and with out any homework. The only thing was people were bothering her about what happened. They wouldn't ask her anything, but they'd just glanced at her and then spoke quietly to the people next to them.

As she sat in Transfiguration waiting for Professor McGonagall, she recalled how much she loved this subject and how lovely this room was; big but cozy, lively but calming. This was her favorite classroom. However, the eyes she felt boring into her head seemed intent on making her feel very ill at ease.

"Class, eyes on me!" the shrill voice of McGonagall rang through the room and everyone did as they were told.

"Today is important because it is a review. I want you to pick one transfiguration you have learned this year. Tell me what it does and how you do it. Extra points will be given to those who can give us a practical demonstration. You have twenty minutes to get your notes and thoughts together. Start!"

There was furious scribbling and page turning. Breathy whispers could be heard from numerous students repeating spells and the swishing wands meant some were practicing their hand movements. Hermione of course needed no such preparation. She had hers picked out and chose to demonstrate it.

She let her mind wander to the hallucination. The eerie feel of it being real, the fact that she didn't have any control of her mind. But she recalled the sensationalism it had and she felt a little comforted that it was just all in her mind. She visibly shook her head to get rid of the memory. She tried to write it off and figured it was just her mind trying to deal with the war.

Before she knew it, McGonagall was calling on students to give their presentations. Neville was called up first and Hermione watched as he nervously made his way up to the front of the class.

"The transfiguration I chose is Corpus Mutatio which allows you to change the shape of your own body for a short period of time."

McGonagall grilled Neville on the transfiguration and as he went on explaining it, he seemed to relax more and get into a sort of rhythm. Hermione was proud of him. He had really changed into a more confident person since avenging his parents. He had grown skilled in many areas of magic and was on his way to becoming an Auror.

He said the incantation and performed the complicated hand movements. In the flash of an eye Neville's nose became smaller and thinner. His face became more oval than round, he slimmed down a little, and his hair color changed to a sandy blonde. The class was surprised and the cheered him on as he changed himself back.

"Well done, Mr. Longbottom. What an improvement," Ms. McGonagall said happily, "Now, Miss Patil, you are next…"

Hermione's mind went off track again. Her analytical brain kicked in and without realizing it, she was putting pieces of the dream together; trying to make sense of what she saw.

"The room being trashed suggests a struggle. But there was only blood in the bathroom," she shuddered, "And Malfoy…dead."

She tried to remember if there was anything on the ground that was important; maybe something she missed. But the more she tried to search her memory, the more it all slipped away.

"Thank you Miss Patil, you may sit down now. Miss Granger, your turn," McGonagall rang out.

"What am I doing? It wasn't real. There's no poss…"

"Miss Granger, are you prepared?" the teacher's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, yes Professor. I am quite prepared."

"Then, would you please give your presentation?"

Hermione stood up quickly and apologized for not answering when called. Reciting the incantation in her head, she walked towards the front of the class.

"Aliquid Absconditus," she said clearly, "literally means something or someone concealed."

Everyone looked at McGonagall. They had only just talked about this transfiguration last week.

Feeling comfortable that the class was with her she continued,

"This transfiguration is one of the more advanced and difficult ones because it is more of a transfiguration of another person's eyes and senses. It requires total concentration on those you do not want to see the object. It seemingly makes an object disappear, even though it is not actually invisible. For my practical, I will become "invisible" to half of the class," she finished proudly as McGonagall edged forward in her seat.

If Hermione could not accurately perform the spell, it could be a disaster. She had only attempted this once or twice and never with out problems. A few students audibly gasped, but just for the record she asked for those who couldn't see her to raise their hands. To her joy, about half the class saw her disappear and they applauded her wildly.

She waved her arms and removed the spell, all the while beaming.

"Miss Granger, you never cease to amaze me!" McGonagall said with excitement and Hermione smiled even wider.

McGonagall looked at the clock on the stone wall.

"Goodness! Is it lunch already? All right, we'll finish this up during the next class. Have a good rest of the day."

"Hey, Hermione," Harry said as she sat down for lunch.

The Great Hall was packed with students who were too busy with studies and friends to even pay attention to the boy and girl wonder that helped save the Wizarding World.

"Hey," she replied happily, still feeling good about her demonstration.

"I hear that you wowed them in the Transfiguration with the old Aliquid Absconditus spell," he said with a sly smile, "kind of old fashioned don't you think? I think we all know that one by now."

She could hear the sarcasm laced in his voice and playfully hit his arm.

"Oh shut up, Harry. So I impressed them a little."

"A little? Hermione, do you know that McGonagall can't even perform that spell correctly?" he said, buttering his bread.

"So? I had been practicing that one and I thought it would be good to demonstrate and talk about," she replied as she filled her cup with tea.

"Whatever you say, mate. But I know you just like to show off that big, sexy brain of yours," he pointed to her head with his butter knife.

"Me? Show off? Where did you get that silly idea?" she sipped on her cup.

Stuffing the bit of toast into his mouth, he replied,

"Staying in the same Common Room as you for seven years, having most of the same classes as you, watching you fight with Ron…"

The playful air changed with the mention of Ron. She hated that they couldn't talk about it. They were supposed to be helping each other get through it, not keep it all repressed. It was certainly not like Harry to keep things to himself and everyday that passed without Ron, she felt a little like dying. She needed to talk about to someone. Unfortunately, there was no one but Harry.

"Do…do you want to talk about it, Harry?"

"No," was his surly reply as he swallowed the food and threw the rest back on the plate.

"Harry, we're going to need to talk about him sometime."

"Look, it's just too painful right now, ok? I just can't…why aren't you more upset?" he asked.

"I am upset," she said with absolute anger, "why do you think I want to talk to you? We are going through this together and the only thing you can do is run away from it. That's not like you. You use to let people know when something was bothering you. You would get angry, you would be loud, and you would throw things about."

She could see Harry was doing his best to not cry; whether it was because he was in front of the school or because he was in front of her, she didn't know. She decided that he'd talk when he was ready and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said into her thick hair.

At the worst moment her eyes focused on the blond sitting at the Slytherin table. He was just sitting there eating. Not laughing, not talking with anybody, he was just there. But even from where she was she could see that his mind was certainly somewhere, doing something.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I understand it's hard," she broke their embrace and looked him in the eyes, "but you don't need to go through this by yourself."

She gave him a small kiss on his forehead.

"We'll get through it, love, and life will go on," she said with complete faith and honesty.

Harry looked at her in a different way. He wasn't sure if it was her reassurance or if it was that she called him 'love,' but he felt a spark of something that wasn't there before.

"Thank you, Hermione."

She gave him a small smile and told him to eat up.

After the last class of the day ended, she decided that she would eat dinner in the Head's Common and get some sleep. When the House Elf brought her dinner, she got into her nightgown and sat down on the couch.

Looking around the room, she felt a little calmer than she had in a long time. The windows showed the pitch-black night and for a split second, she wanted to know what it would be like to just leave.

She found herself doing exactly what Harry was doing. She didn't want to deal with Ron's death by herself, and Harry wasn't ready to even try. She wanted to run away. But she needed to be here for him.

She thought about lunch this afternoon; when she called Harry 'love.' It didn't seem odd to her at the time, but now that she thought it over, she began to wonder why she said it. She wasn't one for nicknames, and calling him 'love' just seemed so…different.

"Harry…love…Harry…love," she tried out and found she rather like calling him love.

Working on her plate, her train of thought got interrupted by the door to the Common Room opening. Pansy Parkinson was slinking into the room.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked the Slytherin intruder.

"None of your business," Pansy said rudely as she entered Malfoy's room.

Hermione had given up any hope of some sort of civilized conversation with any of the Slytherins, so it just didn't bother her. And Pansy was often with Malfoy in his room.

"Three guesses what they do in there," she thought sarcastically to herself.

Of course her thoughts turned to Malfoy again. She hated thinking about the hallucination, but it was stuck in her head. She again tried to see if there was something she missed but she gave up.

"Oh, it's just a damn hallucination," she yelled in her head and went back to picking at her food. When she finished eating, she put the plate in the kitchen and went into her room.

Later that night, she woke up to the sound of screaming. She got out of bed and put on her robe. Again, her mind was following her feet and the only thing she could think of doing was getting out into the Common Room.

Opening her door, she saw a very pissed off Malfoy throwing anything he could get his hands on. Finally, her mind was gaining control again.

"Malfoy! What the hell is going on?" she said but he didn't hear her and he kept on throwing things. Something told her to just let him be until he was done.

He finally had no more strength and collapsed in a heap on the floor next to the bathroom.

"Malfoy, are you drunk? What is going on?" she said more loudly; but again, he didn't seem to hear.

She walked to him and in the moonlight she saw something that she never would have thought she'd see. Tears were willing running down his flushed cheeks.

"Malfoy, can't you hear me?"

He seemed to not be paying any attention as his eyes focused on the letter opener that was lying so conveniently next to him. Picking it up, he dragged himself to his feet.

Hermione suddenly had a sickening feeling of realization.

"No, no, no, no!"

He didn't hear her as he went in to the bathroom and closed the door.

She ran to the door, crashing into the things on the floor.

"Malfoy!" she screamed as she tried to turn the handle, but it was locked.

She banged on the door as hard as she could.

"Don't!" she screamed.

All she could do was scream and beat on the door but there never came answer, no noise telling her that he was still alive. Sliding down to the floor, she sat there imaging what he was doing to himself and began to cry.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting when she heard the click of the lock on the bathroom door. The air in the room suddenly became several degrees colder. She heard a scream.

"Malfoy!" she yelled at him as she scrambled to her feet and tried the door again. It opened. She rushed in and saw him with his back turned towards her. The air was freezing and saw unconsciously saw that the bathroom window was open.

"Malfoy?" she said with fear.

He wobbled as he turned around and it was then that she realized what he had done. The letter opener was still in his chest and blood freely flowing from another puncture wound.

"Help! Someone help!" she screamed.

He looked at her directly and shouted, "Wake up!"

Her eyes opened.

A/N: Hey again guys! Whew! That was a super long chapter. I just got to writing and I couldn't figure out where to end other than here. I was even thinking of breaking it up into two chapters but I figured you could use a good long one. I know it doesn't flow with the story that well so far, but oh well. There's more to come and I think the chapters should be longish. There is still a lot I've got planned out and this might be the last one for a while. I've got school and work, but since this story is so important to me, I am going to work on it when I can.

Again, as a desperate plea, review after reading. Please tell me what you think should be changed, what you like, or ask me questions. I always like questions. Or if you just want to send me a review saying it's garbage, I can take it.