Chapter 7

Robin blinked open his eyes to find that he was standing at the top of a tall rocky cliff top overlooking a dusty orange desert. A large orange sun hung overhead. He twisted his body around, his feet scattering pebbles that clattered over the edge of the cliff.

"Aww, shit," he muttered, one hand on his hip, the other running through his hair as he saw Starfire not far from him. She was sitting on the cliff edge, her legs dangling over the precipice. She turned her head at the sound of his voice, her eyebrows raised at his choice of words. "Star, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to invade your dreams." He twisted around again, his feet crunching on stones, looking for a way out. "I'll go… I just have to figure out…"

"Robin," she said softly and he stopped his frantic movements and turned to face her. She gave him a very small smile and patted the ground next to her. He hesitated for a long moment before walking to her and flopping down on the ground, dangling his feet over the edge.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I really didn't mean-"

"It is the o and k," she said, interrupting him. "We do not have control over this yet. It is understandable."

"How can you say that? After all the crap I put you through for entering my mind?"

"I am not ashamed to have you in my mind."

Robin's mouth dropped open. "Star," he breathed. "I'm not ashamed of you."

Starfire looked confused and she furrowed her brow in thought, before realisation dawned. "No, Robin, I did not mean that you were ashamed of me. You are ashamed of your own mind, your naughty thoughts. That is the real reason you did not want me entering, yes?"

"Oh," he replied with reddening cheeks. "Yeah… well… sorta… The other things I said were true too. I'm really sorry I reacted that way, Star. You know that, don't you?"

She gave him a vague nod.

He dropped his eyes and kicked his dangling legs for a minute. "So… um… am I forgiven?"

She sighed and arched her neck to look over the edge of the cliff. "This is my favorite place on Tamaran. I used to come here when I was small to escape from… Only Galfore and my siblings knew to find me here." She gave a sad chuckle. "He used to dislike fetching me from this place. It is very difficult to reach if you do not fly and he has issues with height."

Robin let a snort of laughter escape. Starfire's huge k'norfka was afraid of heights.

She looked at him sideways and the corner of her mouth twitched. "Ryand'r found it amusing as well."

"Ryand'r?"

"He was my brother." She sighed once more. "Robin, if you are truly serious about undertaking the xhandal, there are things about me you should understand."

"Ooookay," he said slowly, not liking the ominous sound of what she said. "Can I ask you something first?"

"Of course."

"Your dream is so solid. When I dream it's usually just a bundle of images of things that have never happened. I have no control over what happening, I can watch myself doing stupid things and know it's a dream. But in your dreams it's like I'm really here, I can feel the ground beneath my hand and the wind on my cheek."

She cocked her head in consideration. "My dreams have always been like this. I cannot control them either, although I find I can often come here. I admit, it does seem more solid now that you are here, so perhaps we create this together."

The entire landscape swirled, spiraling out of control, like a black hole had opened in the middle of the sky and sucked the landscape away.

Robin blinked open his eyes and lifted his head off the pillow. In the dim light from the starry night sky beyond the open curtained window, he could see Starfire's hair spilling over the pillow before him and felt her body pressed against his, her back to his stomach. His hand was draped over her waist. He must have shifted and embraced her during his sleep. Her face looked peaceful as she slept.

"Damn," he muttered and pulled her closer. He lay back down on the pillow and shut his eyes resolutely.

"Hmm?" Starfire mumbled, turning her head and the top half of her body toward him.

"Shh, it's okay, go back to sleep." He opened his eyes to watch her, hoping he had not woken her.

"Robin?" she asked, opening her eyes.

"Hi there," he said propping his head up on his elbow, his other arm still across her waist.

She shifted on the bed, bouncing slightly so that she could roll on her back. Her movements meant his hand was now resting on her stomach and Robin was glad that she made no attempt to remove it. "Greetings," she replied looking up at him. "Why are you in my room?"

"Er… I didn't want to leave you. Do you mind?"

She blinked and stretched like a cat, her back arching from the bed before she snuggled down amongst the blankets once more. "What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

He glanced around the room before finding her luminous Mumbo clock on her desk. "Just past midnight."

"Hmm." She made to sit up, but Robin put a slight pressure on her stomach with his hand stopping her. "We need to speak," she said warily.

"Couldn't we do it snuggled in bed?" he asked hesitantly, desperately hoping she would agree.

She was silent for a moment. "It would be beneficial to have more light."

Robin sighed. "Okay then." He turned and rolled from the bed. He tripped over her boots but managed to stagger over to her desk and switch on the lamp, before stumbling back to bed. He fussed around with the blankets a moment before placing his hand back on Starfire's stomach and snuggling close to her. "Okay, I'm comfy," he murmured, propping his head back up with his elbow and finally stopped moving.

She gave him a wiry smile and looked up at the ceiling. "I am unsure whether you will look at me the same after I tell you this. My… I believe the word is grandfather, the father of my father?" she asked.

Robin nodded, somewhat disconcerted already.

"My grandfather was a great warrior amongst my people. He was a powerful protector and a compassionate ruler. Galfore spoke of him as a kind man, but quick to anger. He had powerful enemies, but had the strength to contain those enemies. He was killed in battle shortly before I was born. My father attempted to live up to his legacy, but his prowess was not as great. He lost many battles and many Tamaranians died maintaining what we had. My brother Ryand'r was born when I was two and when I was five the Citadel attacked our planet directly. Tamaran has always been at war with the Citadel, but since the death of my grandfather, we were not victorious."

She took at deep breath and shuddered. "I do not remember much from that time. Screams and explosions, blood, sweat and tears. I do remember that one morning I woke up and my mother was gone."

"Oh Star," Robin breathed, his hand clenching on her stomach.

"My father decided that day that Galfore, his wife Fyria, my siblings and I were to leave to travel to the Warlords of Okaara. There we were to learn the way of the warrior and the arts of … I believe your word for it is 'humanities'. I was eleven when we returned home to find Tamaran devastated by war and my father had made a pact of peace with the Citadel. He was to sacrifice one of his children and they would be given to the Citadel as a prize to ensure continued peace for our planet."

"You," Robin said softly.

"I was the best choice. Komand'r… Blackfire was his heir and Ryand'r was his only son."

"But Star, when I was in your dreams the first time, it was like you already knew you were going to the Citadel."

She nodded. "In my dreams of badness, I have often imagined that my father had planned the treaty of peace before he sent us away. I do not want to know if there is any truth to this." She sighed. "My father was a good man-"

"Star, don't." Robin interrupted, placing a finger on her lips. "Don't defend him, he could be the best father in the universe and I will still hate him for sacrificing you, even if it did save your planet."

She looked at him in contemplation and eventually nodded. She waited for him to remove his finger. "I spent several years in slavery there at the mercy of the Masters... I…" A tear slipped from her eye and she closed them, unable to look at him. "I cannot speak of it but it remains the worst part of my life. When I began to develop a womanly figure, they decided… it was time to…" She began to shake, her whole body quivering beneath his grasp.

"No, Star," he gasped and held on tight. "Please tell me they didn't... oh god."

She struggled to contain her shakes and continue her story. "There was one Master in the Citadel that did delight in tormenting me. He would often corner me and touch my body while he whispered foulness in my ear about what he would like to do to me." She swallowed heavily. "Or have me do to him. On the day of my fourteenth birthday I was made a gift to him." She shuddered and Robin felt a deep sense of dread and helplessness sweep over him.

Starfire turned her head away. "He did not survive to couple with me." She swallowed again as a tear leaked from under her eyelid. "I did not mean to kill him, but he would not stop and I could not allow him to... Please forgive me. You value life above all else and I have-"

"Starfire," he whispered, placing his hand on her cheek to draw her back to face him. "Sweetheart, look at me." He waited until she opened her eyes fearfully. "There is nothing to forgive. I would have done the same." He could see the naked relief in her eyes and instantly knew she had been worried that he would turn from her again once he knew what she had done. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, wiping away the tear. "You are a wonderful, amazing girl and my very best friend. You did what you had to do."

She smiled sadly. "I thank you, Robin. You do not know how much it gladdens my heart to hear that." She placed her hand over his on her cheek and drew it back down to her stomach, where she intertwined their fingers. Taking a deep breath she continued her story. "The punishment for killing a Master is death. I fled back to Tamaran before it was discovered, to warn my father. He was not pleased at my arrival, but our people were. Galfore told me that the people had begun to see his action in sacrificing me as a tremendous act of weakness and there were stirrings of civil war. My father chose to escort me back to the Citadel personally, taking along Komand'r and Ryand'r for purposes of diplomacy. We were attacked by a race call the Psions on our journey and they captured my siblings and I."

"Things just go from bad to worse for you, don't they, Star," Robin said sadly.

Her eyes were glazed in remembrance. "I do not know much about the Psions, beyond what we were taught on Okaara. The Psions are a race of soulless scientists who experiment on living sentient beings, usually ending in death. They subjected the three of us to what seemed to be endless experimentation. I cannot remember exactly what was done to us or for how long, although I later discovered it was six months in length. I remember waking in a haze of pain and being able to produce a star bolt, as could Komand'r. Ryand'r was gifted with a white star bolt that he could not shoot but made a very effective defense. We incapacitated their ship and fled. Once we discovered the destructive capabilities of our star bolts the three of us waged war on the Citadel. I targeted military bases and defenses, not the Citadelians themselves. It did not take long to render many of their defenses unusable and destroy many of their ports of docking. But we lost Ryand'r."

Robin felt his heart breaking for her.

Starfire choked on a sob. "Ry was my little brother and we were supposed to protect him. I adored him so very much. I was inconsolable. Komand'r fled, but I could not leave the place where he ceased to be and I was recaptured by the Citadel. The Masters decided that I was too much of a risk to remain on their planet and so I was given to the Gordanians to transport to a prison planet, where I was to be destroyed. I escaped and came to Earth."

"It's amazing. So few words for what must have been a horrific life. You've seen so much heartache and pain and yet you are the most loving and caring soul I've ever met. How is it that you manage to fly at all?"

Starfire was silent for a moment, while she studied him. "I have you."

His heart leapt and her name escaped from his lips like a prayer.

She reached the hand between them up to clutch his elbow. "Does… does anything I have said change how you feel about me?"

"Oh yes," he replied watching dread and grim resignation fill her face. He smiled, releasing her hand on her stomach to caress her cheek. "I don't think I could love you more than I do right now."

Her breath escaped in a puff and she smiled the first true Starfire smile he had seen since he'd hurt her.

"Star, why did you tell me all this? You didn't have to."

She dropped her eyes from his. "I did not wish you to learn of my past from my dreams. You would not have understood."

Robin hummed, he didn't believe that was the real reason. She was probably trying to give him a means of escape, a justification that they both could have lived with. He hoped that didn't mean that she actually wanted him to escape. Still, he would not have understood if he'd seen any of that in her dreams. "I guess so." He continued to caress her cheek with his fingers, before he dropped his hand down to her shoulder to play with a tendril of hair. "Star?"

"Yes Robin?" She looked back up at him.

"I'm really sorry about all that stuff before, what I said, what I thought. You know that right?"

She nodded, her forehead creasing slightly.

"I really didn't mean it and I'm sorry. I've been a jerk and an idiot and you'd be totally justified if you never wanted to see me again or if you wanted to let Raven turn my head into smoosh like she wants to. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don't deserve to have you for a girlfriend and I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you."

The frown grew bigger. "Robin-"

"I have to know, have you forgiven me? You never did answer before."

She grabbed him behind the neck, drawing him down for a searing kiss. He embraced her with the hand that wasn't trapped beneath his head, sliding it under her back to pull her closer. The tip of his tongue caressed her lips and she opened her mouth to receive him, letting out a small delighted sigh.

"Does that sufficiently answer your question?" she asked when they broke apart a short time later.

He gave her a silly lopsided grin. "I dunno. I wasn't really listening then. You'll have to tell me again."

She smiled lightly and wiggled against him before her arm pulled him back down for another kiss.

Her stomachs gurgled and they broke apart once more. "I have not eaten anything since our lunch together," she explained blushing.

He laughed. "Let's go get something to eat. It's the middle of the night, the others should be in bed."

She nodded and after a fair amount of untangling the pair managed to sit up in bed. Something clattered to the ground as they shifted the blankets and Robin peered over the edge of the bed. Starfire's e'ara lay discarded on the floor. He reached down and scooped it up, holding it out to Starfire. "You need to put this back where it belongs."

She smiled and held her arm out to him, allowing him to carefully snap the e'ara back on her arm.

He grinned and took her hand. "Come on," he said, reaching down to grab his utility belt before pulling her from the bed and toward the door.

"What about our shoes?" she asked.

"Quieter without them," he whispered sliding open the door and peering down the corridor. "Plus I'm not planning to stay up long." He pulled her out into the corridor and together they stealthily snuck toward the common room.

The common room was dark when they entered, with no sign that a fellow Titan may be hiding anywhere near. Robin snapped on the light before dragging Starfire over to the kitchen area. He picked her up by the waist and plunked her down on the bench. "Stay," he commanded with a waggle of his finger and she smiled in response.

Robin turned and inspected the food in the fridge. Spying a carton of real eggs, he pulled them out and placed the on the bench next to Starfire. "Omelets it is." He turned and rummaged around in the fridge for more ingredients.

Oh I do admire that behind.

Robin yelped and leapt upright as though he had been burned, swinging around to Starfire. She had a picture of innocence plastered to her face although her eyes were twinkling merrily. She couldn't hold the innocent face and descended into giggles. He grinned at her cheekiness and walked over to the bench she was sitting on to dump the rest of the ingredients.

"That was very naughty," he murmured to her, siding his hands up the outside of her legs. She spread her legs and wrapped them around his ribs before grabbing a fistful of his shirt pulling him toward her.

"You are not the only one that has those thoughts," she purred and captured his lips.

His hands continued their journey up Starfire's legs and wrapped themselves around her bottom, picking her off the bench to pull her closer to him. He slid her down his body slightly so he didn't have to force his neck upward so much just to kiss her.

As her lips parted to allow his tongue access, he suddenly realised he was still bearing all of her weight. Normally she would be floating by now and he desperately hoped that she hadn't feigned her forgiveness. He broke the kiss and placed his forehead against hers. She looked at him in confusion as he placed her back on the bench. Now was not the time to bring it up so he gave her a cheeky smile, silently promising himself to do whatever it took to get her to fly again and turned toward the eggs. "Well, we did come here to eat," he said with a grin as he prepared the food. "I'm sure if we continue what we were doing Beast Boy or Cyborg would walk through that door. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to see either of them right now."

She looked over her shoulder toward the common room door and nodded. "They do have an uncanny ability to sense when we are doing the making out."

He chuckled as he grabbed a frypan. "I think those two just spy on us all the time. Or Cyborg has hooked the surveillance system into his arm."

She smiled and swung her legs idly. "That does seem plausible."

There was a faint sizzle as Robin started cooking. "S'okay. I can get my own back now that Beast Boy and Raven have hooked up."

She considered him. "I believe that would be unwise."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"You should not bring Raven into it, she had done her best to let us be. Also, it would only aggravate the situation. You infuriate Beast Boy, so he does it back to you."

"Heh," Robin replied. "Vicious cycle. I guess so. We should be the better people and just leave them alone."

She nodded and a cheeky grin spread across her face. "That does not mean you could not conduct the teasing when you do the hanging out."

He chuckled. "I think you know me too well Star."

He continued cooking in silence for a while. When they was nearly ready, he turned and grabbed two plates from the cupboard and slid the first omelet onto a plate. He fetched cutlery for Starfire and handed her the plate. "Bona appétit!"

She balanced the plate on her knees and took a bite. "This is very delicious Robin."

"Thanks," he replied as he filled his own plate. "Little known secret, I can make a decent meal if I have to. Alfred made sure of that."

"Why do you not cook more often?"

"What? And get in the way of Cyborg and Beast Boy's meat and tofu argument? Those two are just so much fun."

"This is true, although it certainly has changed since Raven stared the consuming of tofu." She polished off the omelet quickly.

Robin grinned before eyeing her plate. "Do you want another one?"

She shook her head and glanced at the clock. "I shall need to contact Galfore soon and inform him of our decision."

"Hmm," replied Robin, taking another bite of his food and chewing thoughtfully. "I guess you'd better tell me everything you know about xhandal then."

Author's Note: Just quickly. Starfire's history is a mixture of my imagination, what was illustrated in the cartoon and what existed in the original comics. So, if it's full of holes, it could be because Starfire doesn't want Robin to know everything yet.