The Words Between - part 13 (a most auspicious number, as we all know... ;)
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How far you have fallen from the tree, Kyn. Has the rot and the worm begun to reveal themselves, yet? Or do they still lurk within the hollowed core, hidden away beneath an innocent, blameless surface? No... Was there regret? Did you hesitate when you turned away from my guidance, that had led you without mishap for as long as you could remember? No, it was not as you say...you twist the words... Ah, even now you seek to escape the consequences. Do you recall my lessons, or have you already willfully discarded all things related to the life you once had? Consequences, boy, never fear the consequences - No! You can be wrong...you are wrong in this...it's not the consequences that I will not accept, but the results themselves... And you would defy me even as you - No, Master...please... You will not beg, boy! Never beg, never submit, never relinquish what others try to take! |
Kyn sucked in a sharp breath, eyes flying wide as he started upright, an arm automatically lifting to ward off the dry, scarred touch he could have sworn had brushed his jaw as if to lift his face up to meet...to meet...
"Dreams. They are all dreams right now," he muttered beneath his breath, rubbing his face and then scraping his hands back through his hair with another deep breath. Except that the reassurance itself carried its own host of concerns, such as his lost Sight and the disturbing bent his mind's nighttime meanderings had taken - disturbing to one who recalled few troubling dreams in a life that had been filled with its own sort of stability. By all means, he had not had a vision every single night, and even those that had visited during his waking moments had been relatively far between. But in interesting times such as now, they had been far more prolific, and he missed the comfort they could bring, even if it was by little more than a handful of marks. How did others live with such nonchalant blindness? Nobody could anticipate every turning the future might take, but to know absolutely nothing at all and be daily tormented by their worries and uncertainties? Forever?
He stood abruptly, forcing himself to ignore the residual lethargy and reassemble all the papers, maps, and books he had gathered. Three days, a thirteen degree drop and two snowfalls later, he was ready to crawl back into the depths of the pond in sheer frustration. The library's resources had been singularly unhelpful; while a dukedom, it appeared that the lands presided over by Lynxfinn Holdings were far enough away and quiet enough that there had been few noteworthy additions to the capitol's archives. Shifts in boundaries. Visits received by noteworthy personages.
Changes in names.
He was still somewhat puzzled by Aisner's choice to reclaim his maternal family's name and crest, but he supposed that what the duke wished to be addressed by was the prerogative of the duke. But what of a former duke's brother? Why would Master insist on being called what he was, and not by some other alias?
Kyn paused in the act of picking up a stack of books, leaning against the table and sighing. There was a pang, deep inside, with every question that arose about the man. It appalled him, how much he had accepted, simply because he had been told that things were the way they were. Yet it also appalled him that he could find so much doubt about the man that had raised and taught him. He mourned - he was sure he mourned - the place that Master used to hold...but when he reached up with trembling fingertips to trace the edge of his lashes, they were dry and his vision unblurred. He did not beg, did not submit, did not relinquish...and he did not cry useless and distracting tears. Lessons that he both cherished and abhorred.
Damn the heralds. Damn Sianni. The blind from birth did not miss a sense they had never had, but to give them a glimpse of what had been hidden from them? Would they feel the same regret that they were not one of the privileged from the beginning, bitter that that they no longer warranted special treatment? Would they feel a trace of jealousy at the ease with which the smallest child walked the earth, the unconscious surety of movement through a world that was perceived and interpreted in but a glance?
Kyn replaced the books and the maps, rearranged and organized the notes he had taken. Checking the time with a quick look out a window, he strode swiftly for the doors, massaging the back of his neck and rolling his shoulders absently against an ache that seemed to have settled in permanently one day ago. Nadia's predictions had proved painfully accurate when the first symptoms of withdrawal had revealed themselves entire days before he should have expected them, judging from past experience. A visit to the healer each morning now served to get him through the next twenty-four candlemarks without killing - either someone else or himself.
He resolutely kept his eyes focused straight ahead as he struck off the path that curved away from the library, snow crunching beneath his feet. The curve of a former pasture interjected itself between the east side of the library and one half of the collegium - most notably, one of the dining halls and where Brin was supposed to meet him with the maps. While Kyn had no way of judging how difficult it was to obtain the floorplans of a major holding, he had been prepared to give the boy a few more days and had been pleasantly surprised when Brin rushed out the news in a gasped torrent of words on his way to one class or another.
Glimpsing movement out on the pristine field, he peered out of the corners of his eyes without turning his head from his destination. He could just catch Sianni's general shape to his far right, a barely recognizable figure outlined only by the shadows cast upon her white coat against a white backdrop. She didn't move except to occasionally flick her tail or turn her head to watch him walk by, and he did nothing to acknowledge her presence in return. With the distance between them, it didn't take long for her to be hidden from sight by one of the gentle hillocks that dotted the pasture.
He could feel her confusion and hurt, no matter that both participants in the Companion bond were doing their damnedest to block it out. Her anger had died the same day he had accused her, but the silence remained when he continuously rebuffed her tentative advancements. Now, she roamed ever on the peripheries of his sight and his mind, a ghost in every meaning but the literal, haunting him like the negative image of the shadows in his dreams. Now, she not only did not try to coax him out any longer, but maintained her own wall of carefully constructed indifference. Now, they were both properly miserable, and he couldn't help wonder a bit at how wonderfully the situation had spiraled out to this point on the fulcrum of a few choice words.
His head lifted at the hint of a prickle between his shoulderblades, as if tiny cat-feet were padding up and down his spine. It was an odd sensation, one he wasn't sure he exactly disliked yet, but at least was certain was intended to draw his attention elsewhere.
Two people were standing atop a high point on the pasture, one of the sharper wrinkles that occupied the terrain. Long before he drew into earshot, the sullen flame of Mennifei's hair gave away the identity of one, while an educated guess as to the other's considering the build pegged him as Stef. From the stiff, uncompromising lines of their stances, they had not reconciliated.
Hasn't she already been enough trouble? Kyn groaned silently to his not-quite-functioning ForeSight.
Whichever god was currently on duty was having too much fun to notice one half-rhetorical prayer from a faux-trainee however, as Stef made one broad sweep of his arm and advanced on the young noblewoman, forcing her to retreat though her response was no less vehement. As his path took him near, Kyn could make out the edges of the conversation, his nerves knotting tighter and tighter with the palpable tension roiling between the two.
"...telling me you don't even know her now?!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Mennifei spat, pulling the edges of a scarf beneath her cloak higher against her chin. "I am not denying that we had a passing acquaintance, but knowing about someone hardly makes us 'bosom buddies', to borrow one of your more provincial witticisms."
Stef laughed, a harsh, disbelieving bray. "A 'passing acquaintance'? You all but hid behind her skirts last term! Every other time I came to see you, you were conveniently occupied and 'Oh, Stefahn, why don't you be a dear and show Minuelle a good time instead?'" He pitched his voice high in a mockery of hers.
Rather than rising to the bait, Mennifei arched one brow sharply. "I felt sorry for the poor thing."
"So she was just a charity project?"
"Every girl needs a hobby," Mennifei purred with a languid wink, sliding a step back in preparation to turning away.
Kyn kept his eyes focused discreetly on the pair as long as he could without turning his head, and when he began to pass them, he reluctantly returned his gaze to the distant buildings ahead. Perhaps it had only been a residual worry from before, a sort of muscle-memory of the mind. Or, more likely yet, it was merely a carryover from the unsettling subject he had been dwelling upon just before noticing the two trainees...
"And is one of them spreading lies about me?"
"Unhand me you lout!"
Kyn halted abruptly, tilting his head but not quite brave enough to turn around yet. Don't turn, don't acknowledge it...maybe it will go away without your intervention, it doesn't always have to be a life-or-death situation...
"Or you'll what? Spread more rumors? You can't do much more damage than you've already done."
"It was your own fault! You might have appeared reluctant at first, but I know you slept with her. How do you know the child is not yours?"
"Anyone with eyes and a brain in their heads can see it's not mine! She's not even showing yet, and the last time I was with her was over half a year ago - "
"You're hurting me! Let go of me now, Stefahn Atronos, or - "
"Or you'll - or should I say, your father will do what? Pa's ready to marry me to that sow and force me to acknowledge the brat just to save face now, forgetting whether I have anything to say on the matter or not - !"
The unmistakable sound of a slap cracked through the thin winter's air, and Kyn forgot all reservations as he whirled around.
"You make this so easy," Stef growled.
Kyn barely had time to process the trainee's words before the young man - one hand still clamped firmly about Mennifer's wrist - gave her a sudden shove...and she abruptly disappeared from sight with a startled shriek.
The hill...the edge of a sinkhole? the thought stumbled through Kyn's mind before he was sprinting toward the site. Stef was staring down where Mennifei had fallen, his face a mask of fleeting, uninterpretable emotions, one that quickly morphed into a feral smile when he heard Kyn running up. "Turning into a regular hero, aren't we? Saving that pathetic excuse for a boy, trying to save the girl too, now..."
Kyn barely registered the words as he pulled to a halt where Mennifei had been standing, breaths puffing out in frantic little clouds as he spotted her tumbling down the steep slope on the other side. He had only time enough to wonder if she was in any real danger when he glimpsed the fist flying toward his face out of the corners of his eyes.
Kyn threw himself back desperately, catching merely a glancing blow across the cheek. Enough to make his ears ring, but not enough to hamper his reflexes as he ducked beneath the next swing and rammed his shoulder into the trainee's midsection, aiming for the diaphragm and putting the entire thrust of his legs behind the maneuver.
Stefahn may mass half again as much as Kyn did, but even the bully was distracted from further retaliation when he was sent stumbling back with his breath wooshing out of him.
Kyn didn't waste time following up. If Stefahn had thought to keep him occupied, in all likelihood something else awaited Mennifei. The cause of the altercation had seemed relatively trivial to warrant such actions, and Stefahn's last, enigmatic statement to the young woman had been far too troubling. If Kyn didn't know any better, he might have suspected...
"This is your last chance at redemption, boy!"
Kyn froze just below the lip of the sinkhole, whirling to stare disbelievingly at the other trainee.
Still wheezing somewhat, Stefahn slowly straightened with his arms huddled around his middle. "Your master's calling," he sneered. "Better run on home like a good boy, or you can share her fate."
His last chance. How much did Stefahn know? How much had Master confided? Mouth dry, heart pounding, Kyn barely recognized the taste of betrayal as he was caught by the incomprehensible fact that Master had found a replacement of sorts - one that was now sent to complete what he had not been able to, one that would now be sent after him. If he disobeyed. If he let Mennifei die.
The crackle of ice, so familiar in his own mindscapes but now impinging on his physical ears, drew his attention back around and down.
Mennifei had come to rest in the shallow bowl of the depression, groaning and disoriented by the long tumble and perhaps something else as she struggled weakly to pull her limbs underneath her. With each shift, there was an ominous creak, and during one of her wide sweeps of arm Kyn spied a gleam of black ice beneath the thin covering of snow.
Reflex dictated his next actions before he could think through the consequences. :Sianni!: he called, shattering the silence that had lain between them, plunging down the slope. :I can't swim and I don't know if Mennifei can either!: This must be what Stefahn had been aiming for. Let the ice and the water take care of her...just a tragic accident...
He received no acknowledgement beyond an answering whinny from afar, but it was enough and he focused his attention on the young woman. "Mennifei, don't move!" he called out, finally reaching the bottom and finding out simply by having one foot nearly skid out from under him upon encountering the edge of snow-veiled ice. Staggering, he regained his balance at the cost of a pulled muscle, and looked down and then across to Mennifei, trying to gauge the distance between them. "I said don't move!" he snapped when the young woman stirred again, but either she was too scattered to register his warning or was ignoring him altogether, for she finally made it to hands and knees, throwing off the entangling folds of her cloak - just before one bracing hand plunged through the thin shield of frozen water. She was still staring dumbly at the water welling up around her arm when, with little more than a whisper of complaint, an entire section followed...swallowing her whole.
Kyn's breath caught as he waited...hoped... Perhaps the sinkhole is not that deep...stand up, Mennifei, stand up!
When only one hand appeared, slapping weakly at the water's surface for the nearest edge before disappearing again, he cursed and pushed himself across the surface as rapidly as possible, trying to compromise between speed and caution. When there came the same warning crackle that had preceded Mennifei's fall, he sprawled out on his belly, trying to inch ever farther out and thanking his makers for his relatively small frame and slight weight as compared to most males his age.
"Help..." Mennifei actually managed to win above the surface for a moment with a great thrashing about, the one word hopelessly garbled by water as she sank beneath the surface again, eyes wide and glazed and lips already pale and tinted blue from the cold.
"Don't you dare die on me, not after all you've put me through," Kyn hissed, throwing caution away as he pushed himself forward boldly and plunged both hands into the frigid water, tangling his fingers firmly in her clothing when they went almost instantly numb from the temperature. Feeling the edge of the ice collapsing beneath him, he struggled to scoot back even as he drew the noblewoman's head above the water. "Just a little longer," he gritted through clenched teeth, uncooperative hands working to free the clasp to her cloak so that the soaked weight wouldn't keep dragging her down. Sputtering and coughing, Mennifei seemed barely aware of his presence, eyes wandering blindly over him until they began to slip closed. "Stay awake!" he called to her, finally managing to tear the cloak loose and letting it sink into the dark waters. "Wake up!" he shouted, giving her a rough shake and heaving backwards at the same time, praying that the ice would hold, just a little longer...
But it didn't. A last, fitful groan, and an entire sheet collapsed, sending them both into the pool.
Kyn nearly sucked in a mouthful of water out of sheer surprise. Eyes snapping open, he stared up through a mad agitation of bubbles swirling up toward the surface, feeling as if he had gone abruptly deaf and nerveless as the water embraced them. It was in that moment, when he was insulated from sound and weight and sensation, watching the shifting chiaroscuro of broken ice and disturbed water dance above them, that he abruptly felt the oddest sensation of deja vu...
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"I feel dizzy." There was no immediate reaction to his complaint. The soft murmur of alien syllables continued uninterrupted, and the candles lit at six corners continued burning undimmed. The thick fog of burning herbs and other unnameable scents made his vision waver in and out uncertainly, and he blinked hastily to keep from falling asleep or keeling over or doing anything but stand there unmoving as he had been ordered. It was an odd sensation that crawled beneath his skin and curled through his middle, making him feel both drowsy and edgy at the same time, an indescribable state that refused categorization and which made him want to scream just to try and relieve the knife's edge balance that he was poised on. "Never interrupt." He raised his head to peer owlishly up at the man called Master, and in his inexperience started to reach out for the comfort he subconsciously sought for in the only adult he knew, though no memory could corroborate the instinct. "Never interrupt," the instruction was repeated harshly, his hands slapped away. He bit his lip, trembling, and hastily wrapped his arms around himself, hands clenched guiltily in the shirt bunched at his sides. "I'm sorry..." "Sorry, what?" "Sorry...Master." "Remember that." A limped step closer, and a hand - the whole one - moved into his field of vision to tilt his head back. Though he had seen the macabre double-face before, like a ghastly jester wearing a mask composed half of those before and half of those after consignment to netherworldly fires and torments, he still could not suppress the shudder of seeing the juxtaposition borne upon a living human visage. "Remember that, and remember that should you ever see lines drawn upon the ground, should you ever call and I do not answer, should you ever smell what you smell now or anything resembling it...do not move. Do not interrupt." "Y-yes, Master." A faint nod of satisfaction, and the hand moved to rest on his shoulder for a moment before Master drew back, straightening laboriously and seemingly to tower over his much shorter form. "And remember, that should you perform well in those respects, that I will attend to you as soon as I am able. Now. Breathe deeply, Kyn...relax and let it carry you...release your thoughts and concerns and fears, and merely...breathe..." And he had allowed the smoke to enter his lungs and bear his body away. |
The muffled thrum of a large body plunging into the waters made Kyn jerk, muscles lethargically spasming as he tried to turn and make out the cause of the sound. A ghostly shape had jumped into the pool collected at the bottom of the sinkhole, four slender legs beating rhythmically through the liquid and bearing their owner closer and closer.
Breathe. Abruptly snapped out of the momentary reverie, Kyn was suddenly reminded by the tickle in his lungs of their need for air, and glanced about himself quickly. The ground...the ground was not far. Just far enough to drown them, if they couldn't tread water, but close enough to reach and, perhaps, push off of to give them a brief respite? Wrapping an arm around Mennifei's middle, he wriggled a bit, consciously trying to sink them both just a little farther, stretching his toes...and as soon as he touched the heavy silt, he bent his legs, tightening his grip on the limp body in his arms before thrusting the both of them toward the surface.
He had almost miscalculated, between the sucking grip of the mud and his own sluggish responses. A hasty kick managed to just clear their heads of the water for one desperately needed moment, and he sucked in a few breaths, trying to stay up for a few breaths more with uncoordinated paddling between one arm and two legs, all rapidly losing strength. Mennifei, wake up, breathe, he thought urgently when the body he clutched close did not immediately stir at the chill touch of air. Desperation overwhelmed him for one panicked heartbeat and he shook her sharply, eliciting at least one weak twitch before his inattention began to draw them both back down to the sinkhole's bottom, the air slipping beyond their reach once more.
Again! he urged his rapidly deteriorating control. It was getting harder and harder to make himself move, to even scrape up the will for the effort. A coil of fear had begun to coalesce inside as he instinctively sought for the smallest murmur from his Gift, a hint of what he could do or what their fates would be, and was denied even the smallest of glimpses with a stomach-clenching lurch. Again! I must...again, and again, until Sianni -
A water-damped neigh heralded the Companion's arrival, and he felt almost dizzy with relief when she butted against him, careful to keep her hooves away from them as she swam near. Instinct more than will tangled his hand in her soaked mane, and gathering himself for one last herculean effort, Kyn braced his arm over her back and drew them both back above the surface.
Gasping, too cold to even shiver now, he could only cling grimly to Sianni's neck as she began to swim them all back to shore, concentrating the last of his still functioning mental processes on keeping Mennifei's head above the water.
It wasn't until Sianni had laid herself down at the shattered pool's edge, allowing him to roll the both of them onto her back so that she could carry them to the nearest building, that he was reminded of their quiescent bond, even as he reluctantly rejoiced at the distance the Companion was keeping. It was a small consolation that he now knew she would not involve herself unless he specifically called...of which he would make sure he would not.
It wasn't until they were nearly at the hall, with a bevy of concerned instructors and curious trainees pouring out to help them down with scrounged jackets and cloaks, that he remembered the cause of their current state and wondered where Stefahn had disappeared off to.
It wasn't until he had been set bundled before a fire with Mennifei tucked close beside him, finally warm enough to start shivering though only lucid enough to know he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes open for much longer, that he realized he had forsaken his last ties and loyalties to Master in favor of saving the noblewoman.
Yes, I'm afraid it's very short. =P In its original incarnation, I'd intended 2 more sections to be appended to it before I actually posted anything...but looking at my schedule for the next week or so (which includes 2 midterms, 2 homework assignments, and one project that was slated for 3 weeks' worth of work) I couldn't resist and decided to whip out what I could, just for my personal satisfaction. sighs I miss writing. And since I've been writing in fits and spurts lately, I'm too lazy to append an 'a' to this part and label the next part 'b'. Hope you all won't be too disappointed. =)
ola - I would scold you for doing something like that, if I didn't do the same thing on a regular basis. ^_~ I hope you did all right on your physics! Too bad teachers don't quite seem to understand how important it is to stay up to date on those must-read fics...
ambera - snickers Sorry to keep you waiting, but cliffhangers just happen to be exactly where I want to keep you. =P Hope you're not too mad at me...
Firefox - Ooooh, this club's definitely a keeper. =D *laughs* Maybe we can carpool sometime.
SCWLC - Woohoo! Aaaah...very good to know. While I don't know much about German, I think I can manage that much for at least most of the time when I go over his dialogue again.
*eep* Just remember, I'm only the messenger. ^_^ Just the go-between for the voices in my head, so it's not *really* my fault...really...
Megan - laughs Thank you so much for the wonderful praise. =) I'll try to keep up with your expectations.
M'cha - patpats I should probably make some comment about how evil geometry is, but as it so happens, that was one of the few math classes that I actually *did* like. =P But I will definitely agree with you on the general evilness of teachers and classes, though.