Submitted by Jacquotte:

(After pieces of the Krakan were blown off and left smoldering on the pearls deck:

"Yea, Fried Calamari! Eat up me heartys Yo-HO!"

Davy Jones: You are neither dead nor dying! What is your purpose here?!
Will Turner: (cheerfully) I'm here to find Nemo!

Elizabeth: Captain Sparrow!
Jack: Come to join me crew lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack: Someone call a lawyer! I want to file a restraining order!
Elizabeth: Meaning William Turner.
Jack: Oh. Do you think Will will want a restraining order?
Elizabeth: IT'S ME YOU STUPID PIRATE!
Jack: Oh. Elizabeth.
Jack: I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it?!
Davy Jones: Oh! Let me guess! It's a rubber duck!
Jack: (totally dumbfounded) No.
Davy Jones: A set of keys?
Jack: No.
Davy Jones: I give up.
Jack: IT'S YOUR HEART YOU SLIMY GIT!
Davy Jones: I knew that!
Member of Davy Jones' crew: Down on yer marrabones and pray!
(Will is in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.)
Barbossa: So tell me, what's become of my ship?
(He bites into his apple, then falls to the ground.)
Mr. Gibbs: What the (bleep)!
Elizabeth: Wait a minute! That's the apple from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves!
Ragetti: And now the only way we can bring him back is to give him a kiss.
(Everyone falls silent.)
Will: Who wants doughnuts?
Everyone: Me!
(They all go for doughnts, leaving Barbossa behind.)
Beckett: Maybe you remember a certain pirate by the name of Jack Sparrow?
Elizabeth: Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow.
Will: (to camera in one of those fast radio voices) Jack Sparrow is a trademark of Walt Disney Studios and Michael Eisner Corportation. Posessions and royalties of this character belong to Eisner, Verbinski, Disney, and etc. Any use of Jack Sparrow or Captain Jack Sparrow is copyrighted to the people of Disney Studios. Any copying or "pirating" of said character may result in a lawsuit, jailtime, or a fine of up to $250,000. Jack Sparrow is a fictious character, likeness to real people, places, or things is purely coincidental.

Liz: Also hes mine...SO BACK OFF!!!
Beckett: ...

Elizabeth: And it certainly doesn't show you what you want most.
Jack: Why, what do you want most?
Elizabeth: (In voice of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) I want another pony!
Beckett: So do I!
Elizabeth, Jack: What're you doing here?
Beckett: I got bored... so I followed you...
Elizabeth, Jack: How?
Beckett: Why, I stowed away in one of the rum barrels!
Jack: The rum! Elizabeth: And it certainly doesn't show you what you want most. Jack: Why, what do you want most? Elizabeth: (In voice of Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) I want another pony! Beckett: So do I! Elizabeth, Jack: What're you doing here? Beckett: I got bored... so I followed you... Elizabeth, Jack: How? Beckett: Why, I stowed away in one of the rum barrels! Jack: The rum!
Tia Dalma (referring to the jar of dirt): I could take it back
Jack: Yes, by all means. I'm just here for rum!
Will: What mark did he leave on you?
Beckett: I'll give you a hint...He's the reason I wear a wig.
(Will takes a few steps back awkwardly)