Revision Notes: I elaborated more on what happened during the Rhombulan invasion so it would be a little more understandable (And probably dramatic).
Episode 2: Harsh Decisions
It was another summer morning in Tokyo, Japan. Ryuta wanders the halls of a traditional, Japanese-style dojo, having nothing to do for a while except look for some music to practice his cheer performance.
"I hear you challenged the American cheer squad to a duel and lost," said a gruff voice. Ryuta stops and looks towards one of the open corridors to see Kai Doumeki, the Ouendan chief with a pointy beard, long, porcupine hair and a torn officer's hat instead of the bandana his two teammates wear around their foreheads, sitting on his knees over a cushion in front of a two foot, wooden table; his arms crossed. A clay mug sat in front of him, while a clay kettle sat in the center of the table; both steaming with fresh, hot tea.
"Even if it was unnecessary," Ryuta says, entering the room, "We had no other choice. Both of us responded to a similar situation with no intention of backing down." He then grins, placing his hands behind his back, "Besides, there's no harm in getting to know your rivals. Perhaps if this becomes a common factor, we may be looking into a new challenge for our squad."
Kai picks up the mug and takes a sip from it.
"Care to explain why you stole Hajime's target? You knew he was still in good enough condition to continue his performance."
Ryuta snorts and turns his head to the side.
"As I've already told him last night, its best that I take over his performance instead of letting him continue," Ryuta looks back at Kai, "I wouldn't worry about him though. He's probably wandering around town, thinking about what's happened yesterday."
"Then I suggest that he does his thinking in here," Kai said, taking another sip from his mug, "I have a feeling today isn't a good day to be out on a walk."
"Why do you say that?" Ryuta asked. Kai puts the mug back on the table and looks towards the TV at the far end of the room, expecting the squad leader to follow his gaze.
In doing so, the he spots a news report showing a scattered number of helmeted aliens bearing guns, walking around Tokyo as if they were looking for someone. Ryuta frowns upon recognizing the appearance.
"Rhombulan..." he mutters, "I thought after the beating they got last month, they wouldn't have the galls to return."
"They are like us," Kai said, "Even if defeated they never take surrender for an answer. But these appear to be scouts. Like ants, they go around testing different areas to see how safe it is to set up base."
"Doumeki-sama, Ippongi-sama," called a voice. Both Kai and Ryuta turn to see Saito and Suzuki enter the room.
"Is something wrong?" Kai asked, noticing a slightly worried look on the two's gruff faces.
"We were out looking for Tanaka-san when we spotted a couple of Agents wandering around town," Saito began, "It seems one of their members has gone missing since yesterday and they believe he's somewhere in Japan."
"We suspect the Rhobmulans wandering around Japan and the Agents' missing member have some kind of connection." Suzuki finishes.
"If that's so," Ryuta mutters while rubbing his chin, "then I believe its best that we investigate both scenarios before they become a disaster."
"I'll keep an eye out for Hajime," Kai said, "If he shows up, I'll let him know what's going on so he can help out in this investigation." Ryuta nods as he, Saito and Suzuki head out of the room.
- - -
Hajime sat on a cliff three feet above a wide, lily pad scattered lake deep within Tokyo Park, his mind overwhelmed with thoughts concerning the events of yesterday. He had been with the team for two months, believing he learned everything there was to know about cheerleading. Instead, he wound up getting buried with more questions involving the appearance of these dancing Agents from America.
He knew Ryuta had been studying the Agents' history ever since the Rhombulan attacked the planet, but up until yesterday couldn't figure out why he was so interested in them. Was his challenge to the Agents another way of studying their talents? And if so, what purpose would he have for testing their reliability? Does it have something to do with the Rhombulans invading Japan?
His thoughts were cut off when a yellow pompom suddenly lands in his lap, followed by a childish squeal.
"My pompom slipped from my hand!" cried a voice. Hajime looks behind him to see Aoi Kanda, one of the Ouendan cheer girls with pink hair and glasses, run up towards him and stop, catching sight of him just sitting on the short cliff with a dumbfounded look on his face. She cocks her head to the side before cheerfully waving her other pompom in the air, "Hi, Haji-kun! Whatcha doin'!?"
Hajime tries not to look annoyed at Aoi's habit of adding such a childish suffix to his name. Grumbling, he tosses the pompom off his lap, crosses his arms and shuts his eyes, making it look like he was meditating.
"My, my," called an older voice, "One shanghaied mission and he's already losing his temper?" Hajime snaps his head back behind him to Anna Lindhurst, the second and oldest Ouendan cheer girl with blonde hair and a beauty mark near the left side of her lip, walk up beside Aoi with a taunting smirk on her face.
"You're not going to make a big deal out of this, are you!?" Hajime complains. Anna innocently waves her hand back and forth.
"Simmer down, Hajime. I'm just feeling sorry for you. It's not everyday you try to get some work done only to have someone come along and ruin it for you." Hajime muffles a growl as he looks back out at the lake.
"Poor Haji-kun!" Aoi said with puckered lips, "If only he'd study up on those American Ouendan as much as Ryuta is, he would've taught those cheer crashers a lesson!"
"It would help if I had some idea of who they are," Hajime grumbled. He then looks back to Anna, "You're from America! Maybe you can tell me about those guys!" Anna glares at him as if he was crazy.
"You're so silly, Haji-kun!" Aoi giggles, "Just because Anna is from America doesn't mean she knows the entire back story to our new rivals!" Hajime's shoulders slump in embarrassment.
"After what I'm hearing from your mouth," Anna says with a taunting smirk, "You'd be lucky if you can face off against those EBA fellas and survive the first verse. I think you should hit the cyber café while you still have a shred of pride left."
Hajime tenses up again as he springs to his feet, turns to the two cheer girls and throws his fists up in defiance, unaware of the cracks forming along the cliff he stood on caused by his landing.
"Now you're definitely making a big deal out my dilemma!" he roared. The second he finished his sentence, the cliff splits apart, taking Hajime with it. Startled, he flails his arms around until he hits the water.
The saltwater of the lake stung Hajime's eyes, forcing him to shut them as he scrambles to the surface, spitting out water that spilled into his mouth during the fall. He felt something sitting on his head and opens one eye to find he had come up under one of the lily pads scattered throughout the lake.
"Wow!" Aoi giggled, "Haji-kun's even clumsier than I am!"
"Loving the new headgear, Haji-kun," Anna snickered. Hajime looks up at the two in annoyance.
"If you like it so much," he growled, "Why don't you come down here and get one for yourself?"
"Aw, but I just had my uniform washed," Aoi whined, "I don't want to get it all wet and dirty."
"Not to mention it'll ruin my hair," Anna says, fluffing her wavy, blonde hair, "I favor my beauty." She then looks to Aoi, "Come on, Aoi. I think we've teased him enough. Let's leave him alone to wallow in his misery." Placing an arm around Aoi's shoulders, the two walk away. Hajime's right eyebrow twitches several times before he drops his head and heaves a sigh of frustration.
"Hey, tryin' to make lily pads a fashion there?" called a voice. Hajime jerks his head up, looking towards the embankment on his right to see Spin standing a few feet from the edge with his hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.
"How long have you been standing there!?" Hajime yells as he irritably yanks the lily pad from his head and throws it off to one side.
"Long enough to see those chicks leave you high 'n dry," Spin snickers, raising an eyebrow in cockiness, "Or should I say, down 'n wet?" he muffles another snicker, which annoyed Hajime.
"If you came here to brag, you're wasting your time!" dropping into a chest down position, Hajime breaststrokes towards the embankment, leaning onto it with his arms stretched out around him and his chin resting on the damp, grassy soil to catch his breath. After a moment, he saw a hand reach out to him. He looks up to see Spin bent over with his arm stretched out in offering.
"Hey, man. I understand you're upset 'cause we ruined your performance yesterday," he said, "But you shouldn't hate on a brother like that. Y'all know how it is; we hear a cry for help, we respond to it, no questions asked." Hajime looks back at Spin's hand some more before reaching up and firmly grasping it. Spin steps back a couple of feet while pulling the drenched Ouendan onto the embankment.
Hajime glances down at his uniform as water began spilling off his sleeves and the tail of his coat like a waterfall. Sighing, he unbuttons his coat and pulls it off, revealing his slim muscles, as well as the rest of his baggy pants, held up by a black, three inch wide belt.
"Why're you here anyway?" Hajime asks as he held his coat over the lake and shook off excess water from its wool fabric, "I doubt it's just to apologize."
"Well, now that I have your curiosity," Spin began, wiping his wet hand on the side of his black jacket, "There is a 'minor' situation I was hopin' you and your Ouendan buddies can help us with."
"Such as?" Spin reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photo of an elderly man with shades and a scar on his left eye.
"This is our Commander," he says as Hajime glances at the photo, "he disappeared some time yesterday morning. We were nearly fooled into thinkin' he'd gone off on vacation, beckonin' us to do the same. However, one of us spotted a lie in the message and our top agent, Chieftain, demanded we stay on duty until he's assured it was just a false alarm."
"We got back from our mission later that day," Spin continues, "Where we found out that someone had shanghaied our Commander and rigged some kind of video that repeats everytime we try callin' him for advice. So now we're out lookin' for him in hopes that his captors don't do anythin' that would put our agency in danger."
"And you think he's somewhere in Japan?" Hajime asks as he slips his coat back on and buttons it up.
"Signal points to him bein' here, so that's were we be searchin' first. Investigation was rough, though. Everyone we asked cold shouldered us, badgered us, even called the cops on us. That's when we noticed those Rhombulans walking around the state and knew they had somethin' to do with the Commander's disappearance and the people turnin' down our aide."
Hajime hums in thought as he crosses his arms and stares at the photo some more before looking back to Spin.
"I'm not sure how we'll be able to help," he said, "But I'll let the others know incase they want to investigate the situation."
Before Spin could say anything in thanks, a loud, blood curdling scream bellows from outside the park. The two rush towards some trees and peek out to see a woman in a traditional Japanese kimono flat on her side, shivering uncontrollably.
Spin rushes over to the woman, placing his hand on the side of her neck.
"Cold to the touch," he mutters.
"But how...?" Hajime stops when he sees a Rombulan appear behind Spin, staring at him a few seconds before raising his rifle to fire. Gritting his teeth, he leaps out behind the Rombulan and swings his foot into the back of his legs, causing him to fall on his back while releasing a wild shot into the air.
Spin hears the shot and whips around to see the Rombulan sit up, looking between him and Hajime emotionlessly.
"Agents..." the Rombulan says in a distorted voice while raising his rifle, "...are...GO!" he jumps to his feet and began firing in every direction, forcing Spin and Hajime to scramble out of the way.
"Why don't you put a sock in it, E.T.!?" Hajime shouts as he rolls out of another blast, landing right in front of the Rombulan. Before he had a chance to look down, the rookie Ouendan smashes his foot upside his chin, sending him to the floor, his helmet flying off his head and bouncing a couple of feet before rolling to a stop.
Sighing with relief, Hajime walks over to the Rhombulan and stoops over him, blinking in shock as he stumbles back a couple of feet.
"Hey!" he calls out, "Isn't this the guy you're looking for!?"
Spin frowns in confusion as he gets up from where he sat near the woman's feet and walks over to where Hajime was looking. Sure enough, the Rhombulan had a head exactly like that of the six-starred Commander in his photo.
"Shoot, man!" he grumbled in annoyance, "That's him, alright. I thought I recognized that phrase he shouted earlier."
"Then why was he going Rambo on us?"
"I'm guessin' those Rombulans brainwashed him after draggin' him back to their hideaway." Spin reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone, "Well, no point in standin' around here, takin' wild guesses as to how they messed with his mind." As he began punching the numbers into his cell phone, a pair of twitching hands rose up from behind Hajime, "I'll inform Chieftain of what's goin' on. He'll be..."
Spin is suddenly cut off by Hajime's startled scream. He whips around to find Kahn on his feet, hauling the rookie Ouendan in the air with both hands around his neck so tight, he could barely choke.
Hajime tried to reach for Kahn's throat, but his fingers were five inches shy of poking his skin. Short on breath, he grabs the Commander's wrists and struggles to pull them off, finding them too stiff to even budge.
Just as he was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen, a beam hits Kahn in the back, forcing him to shove Hajime three feet across the sidewalk, while spazzing from the electricity coursing through his body, before falling flat on his face. Spin had grabbed the gun, knocked from the Commander's hand earlier, and fired a point-blank shot in an attempt to make him release hold of Hajime.
The rookie gasps loudly before flipping over to his hands and knees, caressing his throat while going into a fit of coughs and gasps.
"Yo, you okay, dawg!?" Spin shouts as he hauls Kahn onto his back and rushes over to Hajime.
"B...Barely..." Hajime wheezes, wiping the saliva from his gaping mouth.
"Good. Then let's scram!" without waiting for Hajime to get up, Spin grabs his arm and yanks him off the floor, dragging him down one side of the sidewalk. Waiting near a parking meter is a black Harley Davison with a sidecar on each side.
Spin tosses the out cold Kahn into one of the sidecars before flopping onto the motorcycle itself. Hajime leaps into the second sidecar as the engines fire up.
"Better hang on tight, yo!" Spin says, "This could get bumpy!"
Stepping on the gas peddle, the Harley Davison drives off. Hajime, barely fazed by the sudden jolt of speed burst, sinks into sidecar and sighs while rubbing his throat some more.
"Well, that was easy," he said.
"I'll say, man," Spin says, but more suspicious than relieved, "A little too easy in my opinion."
"Excuse me?" Hajime mutters, eyeing Spin in weary confusion.
"The Rombulans know how important the Commander is to us. But I haven't seen a single one show up to try and stop us."
"What!?" Hajime exclaims, slamming his hands on the barriers of the sidecar and glaring at Spin in annoyance, "You wanted a whole fleet of music-hating aliens to come charging after us, guns blazing!?"
"Hey, I ain't playin', yo. Somethin's not right," Kahn twitches a bit as he struggles to raise his hand, "I get the feelin' they wanted us to take him, but I can't figure out why."
Hajime scoffs before flopping back down in his seat, crossing his arms and looking away from Spin just as a hand reaches up from the sidecar on the other side of the motorcycle.
"Please," he huffs, "What kind of bogus..."
"Agents..." interrupts a voice as another hand came up, "...are..."
By the time Hajime turned around to see what was going on, Kahn had leapt up towards Spin, screaming "GO" just before he lands, throwing his arm around the rookie's neck while ripping his hands off the handlebars. With no one to control the motorcycle, it quickly veered off course towards one of the buildings in the city.
"Hit the brake! Hit the brake!" Hajime panics.
"I can't!" Spin shouts, "I'm stuck, man! I can't move!" Kahn's hold on Spin had bent him to the point where he could hardly lift his leg off the gas peddle. Hajime panics some more as he stands up and grabs the handlebars, jerking them towards him. The Harley Davison pivots slightly, bringing the tangled trio back into the streets.
Kahn turns his attention to Hajime, taking one arm off Spin and swinging it at him. Yelping, the Ouendan rookie takes one hand off the bars while pivoting out of the way; his remaining grip the only thing keeping him from flying out of the sidecar. The crazed Commander threw his arm onto the released bar and began swinging it around, sending the bike swerving left and right while nearly plowing over everything that stood in its way.
Spin struggles to push Kahn off him, while Hajime fights over control of the bike as it starts careening towards Tokyo's sea port. The jerking of the handlebars sent their ride zigzagging around several storage buildings.
Kahn pushes further onto Spin, sending his foot deeper into the accelerator and causing the bike to drastically speed up. The sudden increase in speed nearly flings Hajime out of the sidecar, forcing him to increase his grip on the handlebars as it jerks out of Kahn's reach. Unfortunately, the jerk forced the bike into a sharp turn, sending it torpedoing towards the edge of the dock, then flying over the open sea before finally toppling into the all but shallow water.
The Harley Davison's floatation device kicks on, bringing it to the surface in the upright position. Spin and Hajime surface seconds later, grabbing the sidecars for support as they struggle to catch their breath.
"No offense," Spin pants, "But your driving sucks."
"It's kind of hard for me to drive a motorcycle from the sidecar with a crazed Commander trying to kill us," Hajime says, readjusting his glasses.
Kahn suddenly shoots up from behind the motorbike, shouting "GO" while bringing his arm down to strike. The two panic and backstroke out of the way as the Commander flops onto the bike, slamming his hand into the accelerator and sending it jetting down the open sea to the point where they could no longer see it due to the height of the water surrounding them.
Both grab the edge of the dock, pulling half of their body onto it as they continue to catch their breath.
"I take back what I said earlier about your theory being bogus," Hajime grunts.
"Well," Spin said, "At least I got someone to change their mind."
Hajime blinks upon seeing another Kahn, wearing the same outfit as the one that "hi-jacked" Spin's bike, marching towards them with a laser rifle in his hand.
"Say, did your Commander mention anything about having a twin brother?" he asked. Spin looks towards Kahn to find several more of him appearing from the ally of the storage buildings, all of them armed and expressionless.
"If he did," Spin began, "I'd feel sorry for his mother."
The first Kahn that appeared thrusts his finger at the two, shouting "GO". As if responding to a command, the other Kahns aim their rifles at their targets and open fired. The two freak before dropping behind the dock for cover, their hands grasped tightly around the edge to keep from falling back into the water.
"If you got anything to stop them, now's a good time to use it!" Hajime yells.
"Damn, man!" Spin groans, reaching into his pocket, "So much for Missy's birthday gift."
"You went shopping at a time like this!?"
Spin shrugs after bringing out a wind-up toy resembling an adorable panda wearing an assortment of instruments, "Hey, what can I say? She's nuts about cute, Japanese toys. Came across it while investigatin', so I decided to buy it for her birthday in a couple of weeks." Grabbing the key with his teeth, he began winding the toy up until it jerked. He then held onto the key as he pulled himself halfway onto the dock, "At the sound of the tune, it'll be time to get down!"
With that, he throws the toy as far as he could. The Kahn clones follow the toy as it sails over them and lands on the other side, skittering around in circles while playing its instruments. They watch it a couple of minutes before firing their rifles at the toy, blowing it to pieces, then turn their attention back to their original targets to find them no longer where they should be.
One of the Kahn clones looked around before turning to the others and thrusting his finger out, shouting "GO" as they disperse back into the storage facility to search for their missing targets. Once the docking area had been cleared of clones, the two rookies resurface, catching their breaths for the second time in a row.
"You think they gave up on us?" Hajime asks between breaths.
"Nah, man," Spin said, "Kahn never studies up on surrender. They're probably makin' their way back here for another check."
Hajime turns to Spin, "So what now, Einstein? I've been out-wind four times already. I'm not about to try for a fifth." Spin groans, about to think of a solution when a voice calls out from above.
"Anyone call for a miracle!?" the two turn to find a rope ladder leading to a large, black airship drop down towards them. Morris could be seen leaning out one of the windows surrounding the gondola, "So, you two gonna tread water all day or climb onboard!?"
Not wasting a moment, the two swam over to the ladder and climb into the gondola. Spin drops to a kneeling position while Hajime bends over, placing one hand on his knee and the other on his chest as they breathed out the heaviness in their lungs.
"Whoo," Spin sighs in relief, "You have no idea how thankful we are to be out of that mess."
"Gotta look out for each other, right?" Morris asks rhetorically as he sat down in a chair near the pilot controls and crosses his arms, "Even if one of us is from a different organization."
Spin looks around the all but unoccupied gondola.
"Hey. Where's J?" he asked, "I figure he be in here with us."
"You were the first one we saw since dispatch," said a voice from the seat next to Morris. Hajime glances towards it to find another Agent with a large, red afro driving the airship.
"Wait, I don't remember seeing him with you before," he said.
"Oh yeah," Morris said, "That's Derek. He's the actual backup of our crew. He wasn't with us yesterday because he had to stay behind and help Chieftain uncover some clues behind the Commander's disappearance."
"Speakin' of the Commander," Spin said, "We need to warn J about..."
"He already knows about the clones," Derek interrupts, "In fact, he was the one who called us out here in the first place."
"J believes the reason those Kahn-Droids exist is to tarnish our reputation as nation-wide motivators," Morris continues, "The false message we got was their first step in shuttin' us down for good. We were lucky Derek spotted the hitch, otherwise we'd have lost our freedom to those music-dissin' aliens."
"Something still bugs me about that theory," Derek mutters, eyeing Morris from behind his red shades, "J says those aliens are trying to scratch us off the map. But so far, all of the signals matching Kahn's ID seem to swarm around Japan. He was going to elaborate more when we lost contact with him."
"They've only been invading Japan!?" Hajime yelps, standing straight, "But why!?"
"Yeah, man," Spin said, getting up, "Of all places that's less tolerant of music or us, why target Japan first? They already got someone supportin' them..."
"That's exactly why they're invading Japan first," interrupts a voice. Video screens block out the windows around the gondola, except the two in front of the pilot controls, as pictures of Chieftain, the top agent with a cowboy hat and muscular frame, appear before them.
"Wait, I'm confused here," Morris said, "I get that the reason those Kahn-Droids are runnin' around Japan was to frighten the citizens into turnin' down our aide, but what's that got to do with the Ouendan?"
"The Rhombulans suspect we would see through their plans and go out on a search for the Commander," Chieftain began, "They also know of the cheer squad living in Japan and what would happen if we joined forces. However, in observing both our agency and the squad, they uncovered a loophole that would force us at each others throats with little care as to what the real situation is."
"You don't mean...!?" Morris gulps.
"Yes. As you may have experienced, the Kahn-Droids' purpose is to drive the citizens to think we're responsible for this uprising. Thus, everytime we ask someone a question, we get turned away. At the rate this is going, if we continue to pester the citizens of Japan with just our presence alone, sooner or later, one of them will call on the Ouendan and drag us into another battle for dominance."
"But that's crazy!" Spin exclaims, "The Ouendan know we have the same objective as them! They aren't dumb enough to respond and force us into another dance-off in a situation like this!"
"I'm afraid I have to disagree with you," Hajime grumbles, sitting on his knees and crossing his arms, "We have a duty to respond to the outcries of a person in distress. Whether or not the Rhombulans had a hand in using the Japanese community as a sick tool to turn us against each other, it won't matter as long as they remain oblivious to the real danger around them. That must've been why Ryuta's so stressed out lately. He knew something like this was going to happen and is trying to work out some kind of solution to avoid an unneeded battle."
Chieftain sighs through his nose, "Tell us again when he first heard about us."
"Sometime during the invasion. Most of us were turned to stone, so we didn't know what was going on, but it seemed Ryuta managed to survive and witnessed your talents through a news report on TV. He then spent the next month researching your agency through information on the internet while the rest of us remained oblivious to what intentions he had for this investigation. That must be why he challenged you at that tournament yesterday; to see what would happen if we were forced at each others throats for reasons we can't avoid."
"Shoot! He should have a reason to worry!" Morris groans, "Even though yesterday's battle was exciting, the performance completely exhausted me! I never passed out that fast since the time I had to go on a mission with a fever!"
Chieftain hums in frustration as he sits back and crosses his arms, "Given our Commander is currently missing, any chance of us making an agreement that won't put the world in danger is near impossible. Unless we can figure out a way around this loophole, we may never be able to continue our search which could put us out of business for good."
Spin turns to Hajime in desperation.
"C'mon, man!" he pleads, "Isn't there some kind of anti-loophole your leader can come up with that would keep those Rombulans from gettin' what they want!?"
"I don't know," Hajime said, "I haven't seen him since last night when he, Saito and Suzuki collapsed in their rooms. I was going to go back to the dojo to see if he's well enough to talk, but wound up here instead."
Chieftain sighs, "He may be our only chance of getting the Commander back and wiping the dirt off our agency. It's best that we confront him and work out a solution that would benefit the wellbeing of both our organizations and the world we were created to protect."
"Alright! This'll be so cool!" Spin pipes up, "We get to meet the rest of the Ouendan!"
"We need to find J first, though," Derek said, "he's the only one that's dragging us closer to that loophole and he knows it."
"I managed to relocate his ID signal," Chieftain said, "he appears to be in the mayors office in Tokyo, probably trying to straighten out the mess those Kahn-Droids already made."
"Well, let's hurry then," Morris said, "The sooner we find J, the sooner we can avoid gettin' into more trouble."
Derek nods as he continues to drive the ship towards the city.
End Notes:
1. In case you thought I was getting the profiles mixed up even more, just know that Kai, even though he's chief and instructor of the game's tutorial, is not really the Ouendan leader (And don't get me started on that "chiefs ARE leaders" jargon). I almost thought he was until I went to Cracked Rabbits' mini-fansite and was quickly corrected.
2. Yeah, I dumbed down Hajime's "hot-headed rookie" personality (As if that wasn't evident in the first chapter). I didn't really like how I potrayed him when I last wrote both chapters (That and the whole "I can't perform through Western Music" senario didn't work out so well in my opinion), so bare with me.