Author's note- Hardest chapter to write so far! Let me know what you think... : )

Disclaimer- I don't own any parts of Twilight or New Moon

Four broken ribs, a shattered leg, cracks in her skull, and severe blood loss, it could've been worse.

She would be in a medical induced coma for six or more days, it would make it easier for her body to heal itself. She needed some blood transfusions and surgery to reconstruct the bones below her knee, a couple of screws and a steel rod for reinforcement.

I didn't like the idea of Bella in a hospital bed. I had even more distaste for the fact that I couldn't be with her. I was forced to sit outside the ICU in the uncomfortable chairs and choke in the sterile air of the hallways. It was fiercely irritating.

I yearned for Bella's scent, for her face, her breath, her touch….

Emmett snickered from across the room; his simple yet content mind had been entertained for a couple of hours by the flickering colors parading across the television screen. He was always a positive presence, even in the bleakest of circumstances

Alice sat on my left, her small knees tucked into her chest, her thin arms wrapped around them. Her head faced me although her eyes were closed and her lips pursed. She was focusing; a vision of Bella swam through her mind. I observed Alice's train of thought intently before releasing a sigh of relief.

Bella would be all right and I would be able to see her soon. That calmed my nerves some. There was still a tedious wait ahead of me. Even one day could seem like an eternity without her.

Alice rummaged through the small bag at her feet and produced an unmarked envelope.

"She told me to give this to her mother, but it's for you." She grimaced.

"How do you know…" I stopped mid sentence...what a stupid remark. Alice always knows. She flashed a smile through her amused expression.

My heart swelled with agony as I read her letter. She loved me…. James had captured Renee…she was running away…. don't blame Alice or Jasper…don't come after her…

I began to feel the fury boil over inside of me. Not go after her? Did she ever think that I wouldn't go after her? Did she have any comprehension at all of the love I had for her? Of how much I needed her?

I refolded the paper after that. The weak paper crumpled pathetically in my stony grip. I couldn't take anymore…. she was safe now. I forced the tips of my fingers against my temples and shoved the thought of what could have happened had I not come after her out of my mind.

I focused on the present. The present is the point at which time touches eternity. C.S. Lewis had written that into one of his many manuscripts. I liked the idea that the quote supposed. Eternity. I had that.

An eternity with Bella. That's what I wished for. But it would never be…

Who would choose a life of carnivorous cravings and damnation, over warmth and a soul?

I had been wrestling with the idea of changing Bella for months. I remained convinced that Bella's soul would not be condemned to the obscurity of the night.

Nothing would make Bella happier. It's what she wants.

Alice's thoughts hummed through my conscious. Alice somehow always knew what I was thinking. Or mostly assumed what was passing through my mind, predicting the intricate patterns my thoughts seemed to follow.

"No, I could never." It pained me to think of it. My eyes searched for something mildly distracting on the bare walls. I could never allow Bella's soul to be stolen because of me.

The hours passed slowly, dusk came soon enough and Carlisle and Emmett left for the dance studio. The scene of the actual crime had to be torched before anyone could get suspicious of the pools of blood and shattered mirrors, floors, and windows. Vampires were easily some of the most destructive beings ever.

The next couple of days passed foggily, Alice and I left periodically once to hunt, other times just to change clothes or shower. I didn't enjoy leaving Bella at the hospital alone, so Emmett or Carlisle would always be in the waiting room when it was necessary that I leave. I would rush back only to find everything exactly how I had left it.

This waiting was really testing my nerves; it was impossible to find anything even close to entertaining in that small room.

Mostly I quietly allowed my thoughts to slink around the cavern behind my eyes; they were intoxicatingly full of Bella. At times I would breathe in and swear that she was lying in my lap, for my memories would so convincingly enrapture me with her scent.

The third day's insipid passing brought some fantastic news around the human lunch hour. Bella was able to have visitors now. She wouldn't be able to respond to anything we said or did, due to the coma, but I could see my Bella. I leapt to the assistant's side much faster than humanly possible, she didn't notice, she had been on an all night shift.

Alice had returned to the hotel much earlier in the morning to spend time with Jasper. So I was alone. We had to keep up some appearances; none of the staff had seen me "sleep" through a night for three days. So my family had to leave every so often. There were a couple of hours every once in awhile when my eyes would shut for convenience and I would think of a future with Bella, of the life I wanted to live with her, forever.

She was the star of my sleepless nights in that waiting room. She was the star of all my nights, the dream that I watched sleep, the beating heart of my numbed soul.

I impatiently followed the small attendant. As we arrived at Bella's room I nearly shoved one of the nurses to the ground in order to get past her.

Bella's body was covered in webs of plastic tubing, her leg was suspended above her bed in a cloth sling, and almost every inch of visible skin was covered in bruises. I sprung to her bedside. Grasping her hand, I lifted it to my lips, careful not to crush the balmy skin beneath them. The nurses had opportunely chosen to leave the room to lend us some privacy.

The wave of bliss that swept my mind clear of thought was so strong that I swayed with its current as it settled in my stomach. I was so elated to see Bella that the torturous days in that dreary room were worthwhile. I had been so excited that I had completely forgotten to breathe. My lungs struggled to release the air I had been concealing and I inhaled the scent of my love.

Uck. Something was wrong with the atmosphere that was filling my sinuses. The diagnostic report of the first night played through my head; the nurse had said that she had needed multiple blood transfusions. Well that explains things.

However the bliss was so arresting that this flawed moment was incapable of ruining the sensation. But I could not wait for it to return…. the titillating scent of Bella that seemed to entice so many of my senses, even the human ones that I had long believed I'd lost.

But for now, her presence was all I desired. I pulled a folding chair to the edge of her bed. I could feel the heat of her body from beneath the sheets as I folded my arms down on the bedding and rested my chin on the peak of my crossed forearms.

Her chest rose and fell delicately. I reveled in the sound of her heartbeat, I breathed in time with her subdued breaths.

Slowly, carefully, hesitantly I reached up towards her angelic face. I let my hand hover a few centimeters above her parted mouth. Her hot breath made my skin tingle; I lowered my hand to her collarbone, tracing the outline across her shoulders.

I found such solace in the rudely sparse hospital room resting my head next to Bella, time didn't even seem important enough to consider. At times her feathery lashes would quiver and her lips would shift, I could only assume that she was dreaming.

"If only I knew what was going through your mind…" I declared softly. I desperately wished that I could hear what lingered in her thoughts. However I was becoming accustomed to the fact that I was not able to hear her, there had to be a reason. Everything had reason.

I was entirely immersed in Bella; I didn't hear their thoughts or realize their presence until Alice rested her bleachy hand upon my shoulder. Carlisle and Emmett sauntered into the room, with a nurse in tail.

The nurse slid between the men and produced a syringe from her tray. She began to angle it towards Bella and I tensed instinctively.

Edward relax, it's just some pain medication to help her sleep more comfortably.

Alice's thoughts annoyed me. I had two doctorates from Princeton and Johns Hopkins University in Medicine. Of course I knew that the nurse was injecting Bella with pain medication. That didn't make me any less sensitive to anyone affronting Bella with sharp objects; I shrugged my sister's petite hand from my shoulder and turned my head away from the IV.

The nurse left as soon as the medicine had been administered. Carlisle swiveled around to face me with a concerned and serious expression bent across his features. His mouth twitched slightly as he struggled to dispel what rolled in between his vocal chords. I avoided the sounds of his thoughts, nervous of what needed to be said. I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to hear it.

"Edward, we have some bad news…"