Chapter 22
Robin woke to Cyborg shouting.
"You don't just waltz out here and announce shit like that. We are NOT leaving and you're certainly not doing that!"
He groaned and struggled into a sitting position from where he was lying on his side. He winced as pain splashed across his back. Something tugged on his arm and he stared down at the drip in his hand. He pulled it out and tossed it away before rubbing his hand where the needle had penetrated. He kicked off the blood stained blankets, vaguely noticed that he was dressed only in his boxers and still had traces of dried blood on his legs. He glanced at the angry red scar on his leg and probed it with his fingers. The injury was healing nicely, still hurt like hell though. He placed a hand behind his back, wincing as his fingers brushed the still throbbing scar on his back.
"Be reasonable, Starfire," Cyborg said loudly.
Robin heard Starfire murmur something in reply, but he couldn't hear what she said. He reached out with his mind and found hers filled with grief and regret and huge dose of exhaustion. She didn't seem to notice the brush of his mind. He swung his legs out of bed and staggered upright, swaying dangerously before he headed for the door on unsteady feet. Panting, he leant against the wall beside the door for support as he gathered his strength, listening to the raised voices wafting through the small crack in the door.
"He's not going to want you to do this," Cyborg snapped.
"It is the only way. It is my fault he was damaged. I will not allow him to be injured again." Starfire's voice was defiant.
"At least wait until he wakes up," Beast Boy said.
"No. We could be home by then. He could have medical assistance so we would not exhaust Raven more."
"Have you forgotten the Citadel? They may decide to act if you go through with this. We might not make it home," Raven snapped.
Robin frowned as he leaned against the wall. What were they talking about? What did Starfire want to do? He decided to keep eavesdropping as he waited for the pain in his back to subside and the dizziness to fade.
There was silence on the other side of the door.
"It would be worth it," Starfire eventually said."Can we not contact Herald? He may be able to reach us here. He could take you all home where Robin would be safe."
"And what, exactly, will you be doing?" Raven snapped.
"I cannot leave Galfore to contend with them. I will distract the Citadel while you make your escape."
"NO!" came the chorus from his friends and Robin clenched his fists. What the hell was she thinking?
Starfire raised her voice. "You do not know what they will do if they capture you! I am the only one capable of doing this. While they chase me, you can escape, either on the T-ship or with Herald. They wish to have me and I will not endanger you. When Robin is safe, I will come home too."
Robin shook his head, fighting to ignore the wave of dizziness that action caused. She was trying to sacrifice herself again.
"What if you're caught?" Beast Boy asked.
"That will not happen."
"This is a really stupid plan, Starfire," Raven snapped. "We know you're upset. We know you're blaming yourself for Robin getting hurt. You haven't eaten anything today, you're emotionally exhausted and you're still covered in his blood. You're obviously not thinking clearly."
"Friends, I have made my decision. There is nothing that will dissuade me from this course of action."
Robin shuffled along the wall so that he could peer through the crack. Starfire was standing with her back to the door. Cyborg was pacing around the room, while an exhausted looking Raven was sitting on one of the sofas, Beast Boy by her side holding her hand in his.
"And what happens when Robin wakes up to find that you've renounced Tamaran?" Cyborg snarled, casting Starfire a dark glance.
"I must. I could not bear it if he is hurt again and I could have prevented it."
Don't you dare! he snarled at her as he opened the door, bracing himself on the door frame. Starfire was in front of him so fast that he had to blink his eyes and struggle to focus on her tear stained face. He waggled a finger at her. "I didn't go through all of this to have you give up now. I promised I wouldn't allow you to sacrifice anything again and I meant it."
"Robin," he heard Raven cry and he fleetingly glanced at her, before looking back at Starfire.
"You should not be out of bed, you require rest," Starfire replied softly, reaching for him. "I will take-"
"Don't touch me," he snapped and she reeled back, hurt splashed across her face. "I want your word that you won't renounce Tamaran."
Raven nipped in front of Starfire, her hands reaching for him. "She's right, Robin. You lost a lot of blood. You shouldn't be up yet."
Robin changed his position on the door so he could lean against it and placed a hand on Raven's shoulder. He gave her a gentle push and moved her aside so he could look at Starfire. "Starfire," he said warningly.
She turned away from him slightly, hugging herself with her arms. She shook her downcast head. "Robin, I-"
"Starfire," he growled, his gaze intense.
She flinched. There was a tense moment before she finally nodded, a tear dripping down her cheek.
He stepped away from the door and wrapped his arms around her, leaning on her heavily, hoping that the others would see this as a bear hug rather than him being unable to stand any longer. She braced herself as she took his weight, her hands on the back of his shoulders, her tears splashing onto his neck. He felt Raven step behind him and place a healing hand over his back and he felt the tingling warmth of her powers sweep through him.
"Rob, you look like death warmed up. We should get you back to bed," Cyborg said.
"Actually," Raven quietly said. "Since he's up, he should probably wash to get the rest of that blood off him. Plus, we need to change those sheets."
"Then the three of you get some sleep," Beast Boy said as he moved closer and placed his hand on Raven's shoulder. "Rae, you're exhausted too. Cyborg and I can keep watch."
Robin nodded. "How long was I out?" he mumbled, glancing at the darkening sky outside. Seeing the small glow on the horizon across from the balcony he knew it was sunset.
"About nine hours," Cyborg said, lying a hand on Robin's shoulder. "Come on, man, let's get you cleaned up."
"I will assist Robin in the showering," Starfire quickly said, shifting her grip on him and moving so his arm was draped across her shoulder, her arms encasing his chest. "He will need some fresh clothes, perhaps you could fetch him some, Cyborg."
"Okay," Cyborg said slowly, moving away and went to fetch clothes. "I'll get you something to wear too."
"Starfire," Raven quietly said "Remember that thing we talked about? It would be good if he could do that too."
Robin glanced at Raven. Her face went bright red and she dropped her eyes from Robin's gaze and entered their room to change the sheets, Beast Boy hurrying after her.
Now that there was no one left in the common room, Starfire lifted them both off the ground and floated gently into the bathroom. She reached into the shower and turned it on, still holding his weight and checked the temperature of the water.
"Here you go, Star," Cyborg said from the door, placing a clean set of boxers and a fresh leotard on the bench. "Will you be okay with him? I don't mind-"
"I thank you, Cyborg, I shall be fine. He is not as bad as he appears to be," she said, waiting until Cyborg closed the door. "They should not see you like this. Robin, are you able to stand a moment?"
He grunted and clutched the wall, his knees shaking. She quickly divested him of his boxers. "What was that thing Raven asked for?" he asked, glancing at her.
She went bright red. "Um…" She twisted her hands embarrassed. "The dagger damaged your…" She frowned in concentration. "Kidney. Raven needs to know if there is any pain or blood when you… um…"
"Oh," he said as comprehension dawned, going bright red as well. "Ok."
"She expects there to be a fair amount the first time, but it is very important you tell her if it continues. Um…do you need to… use the facilities?" Starfire was looking everywhere but at him. "I could leave."
He glanced over at the toilet at the other side of the room, silently cursing at the indignity. "I think I probably should and you'd better not, just in case."
She nodded, helping him stagger over to the toilet and turned away while he did his business.
Over the noise of the shower he could hear her moving around behind him, even though she kept one hand around his back to brace him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her removing her clothes. "What are you doing?" he asked as he flushed the toilet, wishing he could take more of an interest. He noticed for the first time that she was covered in splatters of dried blood. His blood. She must not have taken the time to clean herself off either; she must have been so worried about him.
"Robin, you are barely capable of standing on your own. You will not be able to wash properly, so I will assist you."
He sighed helplessly. "I'm not an invalid." He hated feeling weak, useless and vulnerable and was glad it was only Starfire who saw him like this. If Cyborg had been the one to wash him he never would have lived it down. But Starfire wouldn't judge and she would never mention it again.
"I do not believe that you are." Her arms enveloped his chest from behind as she lifted him into the shower. She propped him up against the wall, reaching for the wash cloth and soap. She gave herself a quick clean before quickly lathered up his legs and back with soap, her hands gentle around his still healing scars, before turning him and doing his front. Discarding the cloth, she floated up in front of him, one arm around his chest, the other behind his head. She placed his head on the top of her chest, his forehead resting on her neck and pulled him under the water.
He groaned, his hands grabbing onto her hips to hold himself upright. He allowed himself to be lulled by the water washing over him and her hand stroking his hair soothingly.
"Robin, I am sorry," she whispered.
"Hmm?" he asked sleepily, lifting his head slightly.
"It is my fault you were injured, I should never-"
"Star, don't. Please," he murmured softly, his hands squeezing her hips before he wrapped his arms around her waist and hung on. "S'not your fault."
She shifted, her hands moving to his shoulders as she craned her neck to look at him. "We should return you to bed."
"Hmm," he hummed, half asleep. "You come too. Not letting go now."
He was dimly aware of her shutting the water off and being gently dried before his feet were directed into a clean pair of boxers. She gently sat him on the floor of the bathroom and he looked at her through glazed eyes as she dressed in the leotard, before kneeling down before him. "Shall I carry you to bed or would you prefer to walk?"
"Can walk," he mumbled, before sighing. "Need help."
She smiled and maneuvered his arm around her shoulders, before picking him up by the chest. Placing him gently on his feet, she allowed him to lean on her heavily while she half directed, half carried his stumbling body. She halted in the common room and he raised his weary head to see Beast Boy and Cyborg approaching.
"Raven's asleep already," Beast Boy said quietly to Starfire. "We've changed the sheets on your bed. Don't worry, we'll keep watch. How's he doing?"
"I'm right here you know," he muttered. "I'm fine."
"Robin is doing well, he did not require me there at all."
Robin's eyes narrowed at her lie, but he understood why she did it. She was trying to protect his dignity. Only she would know how truly frail being stabbed made him, the others would never know how much he was hurting, how he couldn't stand by himself, how he couldn't even use the toilet or wash by himself. He loved her so much in that moment.
"That's our Robin," Cyborg said triumphantly.
Starfire bade Cyborg and Beast Boy pleasant dreams and pulled Robin toward their room. Once the door was closed behind them, she lifted him off the ground and into her arms, carrying him the way he often carried her. She floated to the bed, carefully placing him on his side. She lay down beside him and pulled the blankets over them both. He wrapped his hands around her waist and weakly tugged at her. She scooted closer, allowing him to bury his head into her neck. "Love you, Star," he mumbled.
He had just enough time to hear her return the affection before he was fast asleep.
TTTTT
Raven woke some time during the night to find she was not alone. She panicked for a moment as she heard breathing at the end of her bed, before suddenly realising how even the breathing was. Whatever was in the room with her was asleep.
She sat up and switched on the light with her powers, startled to find a small green kitten sleeping by her feet. She stared at him for a moment, smiling quietly, before she reached down and picked him up as gently as possible, careful not to wake him.
She turned onto her side, placing the kitten on the bed against her stomach before curling her knees up to him. Switching off the light she rested her head back on the pillow and one hand on the kitten's back and drifted back to sleep, suddenly content.
Very quietly, the kitten began to purr.
TTTTT
Robin barely had time to materialize on their orange cliff top before Starfire tackled him.
"I was not certain if you would come," she murmured into his neck, her body pressed against his. "But my dreams of badness changed and I knew you were not far away."
He wrapped his hands around her waist, holding her close, breathing in the scent of her hair. "I wasn't sure if I had the energy to come. Seems I needed you just as much as you needed me. You were having nightmares, Star?"
She bobbed her head. "I continually see Torkor stab you."
"It's okay. It's over now," he murmured softly, his hands stroking her back.
They held each other in companionable silence, enjoying the closeness and feeling the breeze of the Tamaranian desert through their hair. Starfire raised her head after a while. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired," he admitted, brushing her cheek with a finger. "Weak, but whole. Star, I really wanted to thank you for what you did last night."
She looked at him in confusion.
"Making me seem stronger than I was to our friends. It really meant a lot to me."
She nodded and blushed. "I did not want them to see you like that. Robin is strong, resilient, infallible but last night I saw Richard. I do not share Richard."
He frowned, not really understanding what she was saying. "There is no difference between Robin and Richard. They're both me."
She shook her head, her brow furrowed as she tried to explain. "Richard is the human part of you. Richard can be damaged and is capable of mistakes. Richard is allowed vulnerable moments. Richard is all cuddles and kisses and full of the affection for me. Robin is the mask, a hero. Robin has hero friends but he is not allowed to love. Robin does not hold affection for me unless we in Titans Tower or alone." She frowned. "Or on Tamaran, since it is Robin in the xhandal." Her expression cleared and she smiled. "Our friends only see a tiny part of Richard, the part you allow them to see, Raven is allowed more than Beast Boy and Cyborg. They have only ever seen you vulnerable when Slade attacked your mind and even then you did the covering up. I have all of you. I get to share the breath of mornings and the falling asleep in the shower. I get to see the bruises and the pain." Her smile changed to that alluring smile he liked so much. "I have the lustful Richard. I do not share Richard."
Robin's mouth opened and closed in shock. He'd never thought of it like that, but what she said sounded so true. He only ever let his guard down completely when he was around her, but he never realised it made him seem like two completely different people. God, he was going to end up just like his father. "Star, I never realised. I never knew you saw me like that. I didn't know there was a difference between Robin and Richard."
"Our friends do not see one." She ducked her head. "I can recognise the difference and it does not change how I feel about you."
He put a hand to her cheek and lifted her head, capturing her lips with his. As he pulled her in closer, the dream suddenly began to spin and Starfire faded from his grasp.
He opened his eyes in disappointment, to find Starfire already sitting up in the bed beside him.
She glanced down at him and touched his head lightly. "My apologies, Robin, I thought I heard-"
There was an apologetic knock on the door and Starfire swung her feet from the bed. Robin groaned in exhaustion and pain, his mind far more alert than his body was. He buried his head further into his pillow, resolutely shutting his eyes. "I'm sleeping," he mumbled, curling up on his side. "Make 'em go away."
She gave a light chuckle and he felt the blankets being tucked around him before her weight left the bed. A few moments later he heard the door open and Starfire speaking in low tones to whoever was at the door.
Robin, she said quietly into his mind. It is Raven. She wishes to check your wound.
He grumbled before untangling a hand from the blanket and motioning the come in sign toward the door.
"How are you feeling today?" Raven asked quietly as she sat on the bed behind him.
"Tired," he mumbled, his eyes still closed, feeling someone else settle on the bed in front of him. He cracked open an eye; glad to see Starfire sitting beside him.
"Any pain?"
"Nothing noticeable," he lied, closing his eye once more. "Achy."
"Good," she said curtly. "I'm going to take the blankets off now, so I can have a look."
He nodded, feeling around on the bed beside him for Starfire. He shivered as Raven removed the blanket and curled up tighter as his hand came in contact with Starfire's leg. He ran his hand up her leg until he reached her waist and grabbed on, pulling her closer. He lifted his head off the pillow and rested it on her lap. Mine.
Starfire ran her fingers through his hair, one hand cradling his back. He felt Raven's fingers probing his back gently and he winced and shied away from her hand.
"Hurt?"
"Cold."
Raven huffed, removing her hands and rubbing them together, before placing her slightly warmer hands back on his back. "Better?" she asked tartly. "You must be feeling all right if you're complaining about cold hands."
He felt warmth spreading from her fingers and knew she was using her healing power on him.
"Well," she said to Starfire after a time. "There's nothing more I can do. It's going to scar no matter what, but he should be able to get up and move around now without pain. He'll need to be very careful for a while or he could damage it again. Robin, can you roll on you back please, I need to check your leg."
He grumbled again and shifted on the bed so he was lying on his back, his head still on Starfire's lap, glad to feel the pain in his back had subsided dramatically. He opened his eyes and looked up at Starfire. "Hi there," he said quietly.
"Greetings," she said smiling, brushing her fingers through his hair.
He felt Raven's powers flowing through his leg and he looked at her. She looked paler than normal and there were dark circles under her eyes. She removed her hand, the wound on his leg having been reduced to a small thin pink line.
"Are you okay, Raven?"
She looked up at him. "Yeah," she muttered. "It's just been hard work healing you."
"Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you," he said sincerely.
She snorted. "Spend months healing the traditional way, that's what."
He grimaced. "Yeah, that sounds fun. Just make sure you get enough rest too."
Raven rolled her eyes. "I don't need you nagging me about it too, Beast Boy is enough," she said, the smile taking the sting out of her words.
"Good," he replied, curling back up on his side and snuggling against Starfire. "Can I go back to sleep now?"
Raven huffed and got off the bed, throwing the blankets back over Robin. "Whatever. Starfire, let me know when he gets hungry. I'll send some food in."
Robin's eyes snapped open again. "Food?"
Starfire laughed, delighted. "I do not believe he will wish to sleep any more."
Raven nodded and headed out the door. "I'll send the boys in with something in a few minutes."
Robin lay snuggled up, his head on Starfire's lap and gently caressed her upper leg with his fingertips, while she ran her fingers though his hair.
"Hey, Star," he murmured quietly after a time.
"Yes, Robin?" she replied softly, looking down at him.
"I thought I was only allowed to use sorals in battle. Why was Torkor allowed a dagger?"
Her hands stilled in his hair for a moment, before starting back up. "Torkor has been confined for carrying a weapon other than a soral into a xhandal battle."
"He broke the rules? Why?"
Starfire voice was very soft and etched with pain. "He wished to win me at any cost. He believed you were brainwashing me and that I would truly be grateful that he was prepared to release me from the burden of being your chosen. He expected me to rush into his open arms."
Robin sighed. "What's going to happen to him?"
Starfire tensed beneath his fingers. "I… I was so very angry with him… I went to see him and he believed you to be dead. I did not dissuade his belief… Galfore said that it was up to me to decide his fate, banishment or death and I…"
Robin's eyes widened and he clenched her leg tightly. "What did you do, Star?"
"I wanted him to die, I truly did. I wanted him to suffer for what he put you through."
Robin closed his eyes. "You had him put to death."
Starfire's hands stilled on his hair and he heard her swallow."No. You would not have wished for that. And I knew that once you woke, I would no longer wish for it either. He is to be banished from Tamaran."
Robin let out a puff of breath in relief. Despite everything Torkor had done, he didn't want him to die for it.
"I am sorry, Robin. I was very wrong of me to wish his death, he was just so proud about what he had done to you that I-"
He resumed his caressing of her leg. "It's okay, Star. Really. There is a part of me that would wish the same if someone hurt you like that too."
Starfire fell silent, continuing her grooming of Robin's hair. "Robin?"
"Hmm?"
"I was required to inform Galfore of the true nature of our a'tiyk valm."
He stopped caressing her leg and rolled onto his back again so he could look up at her. "Oh? Why?"
"The empathic bond allows Tamaranians to take each other pain. When he inquired how much pain I was taking from you, I could not answer. After the initial healing of your wound was done he asked me why I lay on the floor with my eyes closed for the healing, instead of in pain myself. I could not lie to him again. He is very disappointed in me, but understands my reasoning."
"Oh well," he said casually. "I guess we were going to have to let him know sooner or later. How are you feeling about it?"
"I am saddened. I feel as though I am drifting away from the closeness that Galfore and I once shared. I am afraid that it is the rekmas."
Robin frowned. "That's what the Blorthog is for isn't it? The Tamaranian holiday for friendship?"
She nodded sadly. "I do not think that such a celebration would help, it is an old, mostly unused festival now. There are few that remember it. And we lead different lives. He has the responsibility of being Grand Ruler and my place is on Earth with you."
"Star, I'm sorry. It must be really hard on you." He reached up and caressed her cheek.
The door slammed open and Cyborg and Beast Boy shouldered their way through, each carrying a tray.
"He needs meat, BB. He lost a lot of blood and needs to get his iron levels back up."
"Dude, tofu is just as good for you as meat is and it doesn't come from killing innocent animals."
"Friends," Starfire said, interrupting their conversation. "Perhaps it would be wise for Robin to partake in something that is easily digested?"
"See?" Beast Boy said triumphantly. "Tofu is easier to eat than meat, I knew Starfire would back me up."
"Tofu is so not easier to eat," Cyborg retorted. "And Starfire was not backing you up. She was trying to find a nice way to say that tofu is junk."
Robin was feeling nauseated by both prospects and covered his face with a hand.
"Chicken soup," Raven announced from the doorway, carrying in her own tray.
Beast Boy turned to her aghast. "Raven! It's got chicken in it! You can't feed him that."
She frowned at him. "Beast Boy, it's a compromise. It has some meat in it and vegetables. It's from a can anyway, I'm not entirely sure there would be much chicken in it. It's easy to digest and he doesn't have to chew, which is what he needs right now. So, both of you, take your trays out, before you make him sick. Go on, shoo."
Beast Boy and Cyborg turned back toward the door, each grumbling about the others choice in food. Raven huffed and placed the tray containing two bowls of soup and several slices of bread at the end of the bed. "Idiots," she muttered, before looking at Starfire. "There is enough there for you as well."
"Thanks Raven," Robin said with a groan as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.
"I thank you, Raven," Starfire said with a smile, placing her hand on Robin's back to steady him.
"Yeah, sure," she said as she headed out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Starfire scooted down to the end of the bed and picked up the tray, bringing it back to him.
"I'm an invalid," he said, grinning cheekily at Starfire. "Feed me."
Starfire just looked at him, before picking up a bowl. "Perhaps you would like to wear it instead."
He huffed playfully at her, before accepting the bowl she offered. He found he only managed to down several mouthfuls before his stomach rebelled. With a sigh he placed the bowl back on the tray and watched Starfire devour hers.
"Star," he said, once her bowl was licked clean. "How many xhandal contestants do I have left?"
Starfire froze before slowly placing the bowl back on the tray. She fussed around with the tray, before removing it from the bed and placing it on the floor beside the door.
Robin sighed. "Starfire, I know I have some left, otherwise you wouldn't have intended to renounce Tamaran last night. You may as well tell me."
She returned to the bed, standing beside it. "I do not want you to continue. I would prefer-"
He looked at her blandly. "I know what you would prefer," he interrupted. "And it's not going to happen. No more sacrifices, remember? The only reason I got hurt was because Torkor had a weapon he shouldn't have had and I should have expected one of them to try it. It's not your fault, okay? It's mine; I let my guard down, let him get too close. It won't happen again." He sighed, exhaustion settling in once more. "Are you going to come and snuggle with me again?"
She nodded and got into bed beside him, lying on her back. He snuggled against her, using her shoulder as a pillow and entwined their legs. She ran the fingers of the arm he was cradled in along his back. He placed a hand on her stomach and began to trace the diamond shape cut in her leotard with his fingers.
"So how many?" he asked quietly, as he slipped his hand under her leotard and caressed her breast. She shivered beneath his fingers as he played and he smiled to himself.
"Two," she replied softly.
"Two?" he repeated. "That's all? Star, we're so close to this all being over. Then we can go home and get married and live happily ever after."
She shifted, angling her neck so she could look down at him. "But you do not wish to be married yet," she said carefully.
His hand stilled on her breast. He lifted himself off her shoulder so he could look her in the eye. "I'm starting to think it might be nice to do it sooner rather than later."
A slow smile spread across her face. "Truly?"
"Truly," he answered with a smile, leaning in for a kiss, his hand tormenting her nipple once more. He deepened the kiss, playing with her tongue until he felt a stirring in his loins. He pulled away and lay back on her shoulder. "As much as I'd like to couple with you right now, I don't think I have the energy."
She snuggled close with a sigh and he closed his eyes, relaxing against her.