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Problems in Plotland Part B – In which there are ridiculously long and complicated titles
Ginny and Elle strode confidently onto the Quidditch pitch to the sound of the synchronised dropping of jaws. They were (drumroll) stunning.
Even dressed in modest Quidditch robes they were hot stuff. Ginny held a Cleansweep7 broom which, although old, she was able to fly like a dragon on steroids. Elle had a brand new Firewall ISP (N.B. Don't you just love all those creative brand names?) that meant she would be almost – but not quite – as fast as Ginny.
The two girls waited with voluptuous sensitivity as the surrounding males slowly scraped their jaws off the Quidditch pitch.
Do you think they noticed us? Ginny sent to Elle giving the boys a cheeky grin just to be safe.
There was a new round of jaw dropping and Elle rolled her eyes. Do you have to keep doing that?
Ginny scowled. Yet still managed to look like Merlin's gift to men despite that.
While the boys yet again set about retrieving their jaws, the girls took to the air looking very much like they'd been born on brooms themselves. Ginny's dragon-on-steroids Cleansweep shot through the air like a veritable arrow and Elle's Firewall careered away at a (you guessed it) slightly lower speed.
Harry threw the quaffle up to them, sending a deliciously piercing glare in Ginny's direction to remind the readers that, despite jaw misplacement, he was still moody.
Ron hovered stupidly in front of the hoops giving Ginny glares that demonstrated he was still irritated after her little skin-flashing display.
Draco sat, smouldering, in the stands a little out of view of everyone else's view although how this is possible it is uncertain since the Quidditch seats are, in fact, in an oval. He watched Ginny carefully because, obviously, the fact that she was clever and beautiful means that she is also a Quidditch prodigy.
Not wanting to disappoint the two girls shot off neck and neck, blowing the rest of the competition away merely by the way that their hair streamed red, brown, black and blonde in the turbulent wind. A few quick manoeuvres, a flip over each other's brooms, a flash of Ginny's bra, Elle's polishing of the quaffle, her broom alerting her to the 'Error 404: page not found' and some rapid hair conditioning later and the red ball had gone through the back of the hoop.
Draco couldn't believe his eyes. The last time he'd seen flying that good was when the quaffle had had a bee on it in the second year! How had he not noticed Ginny before? She was beautiful, talented and clever and he wanted her. And Malfoys always get what they want (N.B. Author has seen this in enough fics to believe that it is required of Draco's thought process.)
Ron forgave Ginny instantly. She was obviously too talented for him to stay mad at and, after all, she was his little sister. But this sudden pacification of his personality does not mean that he will not blow up again the second Ginny mentions 'boys, 'dating' and 'mini skirt' in the same sentences again.
"You're in," says Harry, announcing the obvious.
"Yes! Wasn't she great!" cried Ron.
"Put a sock in it," growled Harry, doing his best Lupin-on-a-full-moon impression.
"She's so beautiful," Draco sighed loudly, gazing starry-eyed at the ceiling.
"I know," agreed Blaise. "And so is her friend."
"How will we get them to notice us?" the Slytherin Prince asked, lazily throwing jellybeans at a terrified first year.
"I know!" Blaise exclaimed as the idea came to him. "Let's play a prank on them!"
"Then they'll prank us back?" Draco asked, somewhat thickly (but very sexily, the Author quickly adds).
"Exactly," replied his friend meaningfully. "And somewhere along the way they must fall in love with us. 'Cause that's how things go."
Draco nodded in agreement, and so the deal was sealed.
The blonde sat in his quarters alone that evening, because it was well known that he had his own room and bathroom because he was Head Boy. Ideal living quarters; and more than enough space for another person to share his bed/shower, namely there was a Ginny-shaped sleeping space on his mattress. Blaise also had his own quarters the reasons for this are unclear but the implications are not. Of course it wasn't as big as Draco's.
Draco really wasn't as bad as everyone made out; in fact at heart, he was just a big old softie who wouldn't take candy from a baby. Mainly because he could buy his own which would be bigger, better and considerably more expensive. But the side he showed at school was his macho-potions-loving-Slytherinesque side, one that was often miscontrued as 'nasty'.
At a young age his father had started beating him but shush, it's a secret. This is why he was so mean throughout Hogwarts. He didn't know how to make it up to Ginny for being so horrible. Maybe he should write her poetry…? He just knew that he wanted to repent for everything he had done and join the Order of the Phoenix when he was older, even though he won't admit that to anyone.
His father would be a threat now but, when he and Ginny are together, the chances of him meeting an early death or being swallowed to plot monsters is relatively high. Which means that then Draco will be rich, sexy and smart. (N.B. all the most important qualities)
Well the Author has tired herself from some – in her eyes – intense character development, and thinks it may be time to stop antagonising all those readers out there who can actually write proper English. So for these reasons we shall leave our dear, sexy, schizophrenic Draco behind.
Despite the fact Hermoninny has presently dropped off the Marauders Map we may just find her next chapter (in the library) where Ginny, Elle and the Author may take pity on her and give her a makeover… all for the sake of plot development of course. Also, the first potions class is yet to come; will Draco meet his match? (N.B. the Author has new socks on) Tune in for the next installation of fan-I-can't-write-for-toffee fiction.