Disclaimer: I own nothing, you know how it is.

Clichéd Classes and Predictable Potions

Ginny and Elle found Hermoninny in the very corner of the library which was lucky because if she'd been in the very middle everyone would've been able to see what they were doing.

"Alright 'Moninny?" Ginny asked sitting down opposite.

Hermoninny looked at her through narrowed eyes. "If you're going to 'make me over', then you can at least say my name right," she said before impulsively adding "Perth is the capital of Australia."

"Sorry Herminey," Ginny said. "Do you have to quote random facts at the ends of your sentences?"

"It's because she's clever," Elle responded, marvelling at the depth of character development Herminey got. She was BOSSY and clever.

Herminey winced at the repetitive misspelling of her name but was content that orally it sounded… mostly correct.

"We were just wondering if you were feeling discontent with your life?" Ginny said, scooping shimmering-scarlet curls over her shoulder. "Y'know the whole bushy-haired, buck-toothed, flat-chested thing you've got going on?"

Herminey spent a hallowed 20 seconds sincerely hoping that one of the Arithmancy books in front of her would open up and eat her to save her from the plot cliché it looked like she was going to be sucked into. When nothing happened she looked back at Ginny. "Actually, I'm quite happy the way I am," she replied, hopefully. "Earth is the third planet from the sun."

"Nonsense," said Elle. "Although you are BOSSY and clever that means nothing in a cruel fanfiction world. We want to help you."

Herminey looked from Elle's inexplicably curly-straight hair to Ginny's sparkling locks and sighed heavily, already feeling the dreaded plot vacuum and airheaded!Herminey raising her perfectly preened head. "Do your magic," she finally said. "71 per cent of the Earth's surface is water."

"That'll be the first thing we'll be working on."

Ginny was walking to her first Advanced Potions lesson later that day when she spotted her new pet (the one who can fight off all Voldemort's henchmen for her while still giving her a manicure), Schnookums. Schnookums the sabre-tooth tiger.

Schnookums wasn't like any sabre-tooth tiger though, she was mostly small, really fluffy and she coordinated with all Ginny's accessories. She had the dearest nature unless of course Ginny was in trouble; then she turned into a fire-breathing dragon (not to be muddled up with Ginny's broom which only flies like a dragon-on-steroids, doesn't act like one). Charlie had bought her back from Egypt (or was that Bill?) and Ginny had kept her as a pet ever since. It only bothered Crookshanks that there was a whopping great sabre-tooth tiger prowling around, but that's ok because she was really fluffy.

Schnookums purred as she wound around Ginny's robes looking up at her adorably. Ginny laughed; cue heavenly wind chimes.

Whilst all this had been going on, time had been ticking and suddenly Ginny realise she was LATE for Potions. Bidding goodbye to the sabre-tooth she set off at a run for Potions.

"You're late, Miss Weasley," Professor Snape sneered as she entered. "Detention; and 10 points from Gryffindor."

"Sorry, sir," she replied, ploughing him with her best I'm-a-goddess-don't-be-angry-at-me-look (not to be confused with her angry glare which can melt a house elf at 30 paces). Snape softened immediately, giving her a smile; because really, he's just as misunderstood as Draco - actually a little pussycat at heart.

"That's ok, Draco has detention too," Snape replied once she'd sat down.

"I do?" exclaimed Draco. "What for?"

"Oh," the Potions Master looked at him thoughtfully. "For being to class on time and being my favourite student."

The Slytherin seventh year looked understanding. "Sorry about that sir."

"So you two have detention together tonight in an abandoned classroom somewhere in the depths of the castle where you won't be interrupted. I hope you've learnt your lesson."

Oh no, thought Ginny. Not detention with Dr- Malfoy, how will I ever cope?

How will you come out with your virginity intact? Elle replied dryly.

Snape wasn't finished yet though. "Since this is your final year, I am putting you all in pairs for your final project. This also means that you'll have to work on it in your own time," his glance quickly took in Ginny and Draco.

"You and you, you and you, Potter and Thez, Elle and Zambini, Granger and Weasley boy and Malfoy and Weasley girl. The rest of you can go and find the nearest plot hole.

Everybody groaned except for the ones who escaped the fanfiction hell.

I didn't even know Ron, Herminey and Harry did advanced potions. Or Thez for that matter. Ginny told Elle.

Well they do now, came the reply. And we'll be learning more about Thez next chapter, she added wisely.

What, you can see the future now?

Damn that's not my trait.

Ginny suddenly found Draco next to her elbow.

"Weasel," he acknowledged

"Ferret."

Despite thinking of him as sex-on-legs, Ginny suddenly found herself getting very angry for no reason.

"Why are you always so horrible to me?" she snapped under her breath.

Draco also found himself getting very uptight and despite being in-love with her he couldn't find a single nice thing to say.

"Why are your family always so poor?" he mocked.

"Prat."

"Harry Potter will never love you, you know. You're going to be sad and single forever."

And, despite being incredibly clever, remarkably beautiful, talented on a broomstick and having hidden abilities to melt house-elves, Ginny believed him, blinking back tears.

"I don't love Harry anymore," she choked out. Draco went silent, hope filling him. Maybe she loved him instead? "But it's not like anyone would ever go out with you, even if you were the last person on earth."

His hopes were dashed. For the time being.

His cutting reply was interrupted, quite rudely, by Professor Snape. "Malfoy and Weasley, that's a week added onto your detention. You may be my favourite students but rest assured that I will treat you the same as everybody else."

The boy to Ginny's right whispered to his partner.

"You!" Snape snarled. "Death penalty!"

Next chapter: we learn some more about Thez and Draco and Ginny serve their detention. Herminey also gets to reap the benefits of her make-over.