Disclaimer: I own nothing! I just enjoy playing…

Foreseen Detentions and Disasters

Thez had been hiding a deep dark secret for the six years that we have not known her. As she is mostly pretty, she gets a hair colour; dark-reflective-chocolate brown, but nothing further.

Her full name; Theryllusingthesde, was a direct translation of 'the-main-plot-twist' in an ancient wizarding language and "Mary-Sue-the-Second" in an even more ancient one.

However, since she is only the second Mary-Sue character, she is not as clever and beautiful as Elle and can't wave a stick at Ginny, yet she is still mostly pretty and mostly smart and therefore must languish in her mediocrity.

Nevertheless, her deep, dark secret was suitably deep and unimaginably dark and, although the Author knows what it is, the reader won't find out for at least another three paragraphs.

Anyway, all of this aside, Thez was, most importantly, Harry Potter's Potions partner which pre-empts any kind of possible matchmaking that will go on throughout the rest of the fic.

As Harry sat next to Thez he began to notice her long, luxurious hair and thought that actually, now he thought about it, she was rather pretty. Not as beautiful as Ginny who would be his first choice of course, and he might still fight Draco for her later on in the fic just for the sake of it, but as a back-up she was pretty good. Also, he could tell she was hiding a dark and dangerous secret, and danger was one of his favourite things.

Thez, on the other hand, didn't like Harry. Not one bit. But this only means that, as a variation, there'll be a love-hate relationship rather than the soppy one that Draco and Ginny will end up in. (N.B. Author congratulates herself on her originality. Again.) However, she did think he was rather yummy, especially the whole 'moody' outlook, which would work in his favour because, unlike Ron and Draco, he was not going to suddenly develop a 'tender' personality alongside his public one. No, Harry was moody all the way through.

Coincidentally, in Potions today they were making love potions because Snape had had a sudden change of heart and decided that love potions would be a great idea: so many things that could go wrong!

As a shortcut – shave off a few chapters – one of the main ingredients is going to be Veritaserum. Everyone finished making the potion quite successfully; they were in Advanced Potions after all, except that (somehow) Harry and Thez's potion spontaneously becomes a gas.

The effects include the following;

Draco starts spouting poetry to Ginny, Snape confesses a lifelong fear of marshmallows, Thez tells Harry her last name is Moldevort (because, unless they get the dark secret out of the way, they'll never fall in love) and Harry faints.

All the other students in the class are occupied by being ignored, but rest assured that there are various effects that may or may not be reported later on.

As a result; Snape storms out of the classroom which loses it's usual dramatic effect since he is whimpering about being chased by giant marshmallows (comes from working with drugs on a daily basis), Draco has been cast under a Silencio charm by Ginny (wandless magic) as he desperately searches for a word to rhyme with 'purple' (only coming up with 'turtle', which isn't particularly romantic) and Harry comes to, before remembering what Thez has told him and running out of the classroom following Snape.

Thez runs after him, dreadfully worried that he will tell her secret to the next person he meets. Since this is Schnookums the sabre-tooth she needn't be very worried because Schnookums is on a mission to save Ginny from the dreadful-poetry-spouting Draco. As she runs, Thez's hair glints various shades of chocolate brown that are becoming increasingly seductive, she finally catches up with Harry in a conveniently abandoned classroom (N.B. there are so many of those at Hogwarts these days?).

"Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear that! I never meant to tell anyone. And I managed it quite successfully until this really annoying fanfiction writer came along…"

"I can't believe this!" Harry exclaimed, yet still managing to maintain his moody persona. "You're so obviously trying to sell me out to Voldemort. What are you, like his daughter?"

"Yes," replied Thez. "Long story, including rape, murder, torture and lack of birth control, but yes, I am his daughter!" she exclaimed dramatically. "But I'm not a bad person."

"Of course not," agreed Harry, having a quick personality implant. "And your hair is a very lovely tone of chocolate brown. Your secret is safe with me."

"Oh, thank you Harry. You know I've decided that maybe I don't hate you so much anymore. Maybe a little bit… just for the hell of it. I might change as I feel like it."

Harry nodded sagely. "I understand. Now you're going to tell me everything you know that will help me defeat Voldemort."

"He's my father!" Thez exclaimed indignantly; cue toss of the chocolate brown hair.

"Oh. Sorry," Harry replied dumbly, but with a moody edge. "Next chapter then?"

"Yeah, alright."

Ginny and Draco's detention took place in an empty abandoned classroom where their task was not entirely certain but was evidently not particularly vital for the running of the school since the reader can be assured that very little actual 'detention' will be completed. (N.B. –pointless giggle-)

So the filing/cleaning/organising/alphabetising/impregnation took place at 8 o'clock on the third floor in the second room on the third left after the ninth statue but before the sixteenth wall-hanging; know where we are now? Well, that classroom (no wonder it's abandoned).

"I can't believe Snape gave me detention," Draco complained.

"Well, you did, quite rudely, turn up on time and do the homework," Ginny told him coldly.

"No-one was asking you, weasel," Draco spat. He had a bit of a spitting problem actually, but covered it up well with malice.

There was silence. "We're the only two in the room, Malfoy," the Gryffindor replied haughtily, flicking scarlet locks over her shoulders.

Draco sneered, having reverted to his more preferred 'sexily-evil' personality that was guaranteed to have the nearest fan-girl swooning, although his 'tenderly-vulnerable' personality will emerge, possibly all in one paragraph, as time progresses.

"Y'know, spending two hours in the same room as you is punishment enough," Draco informed her, admiring the way that her eyes glinted chocolate-cognac-bronze in the firelight and suddenly noticing a whole new feature to her face: her lips. (Author quickly digs out the thesaurus and looks up 'soft')

"Likewise," Ginny glowered, suddenly finding an insatiable desire within herself to rip off all his clothes. Icy-silver-disdainful eyes bored into hers and Ginny felt herself falling… into the gaping cliché, pulling the hapless readers with her, who have not only predicted this since the first adjective laden sentence but almost knew the exact way in which it would come about.

Draco felt an irresistible pull towards and before they knew it, he had her backed against the classroom wall…

Author congratulates the reader in having made it this far without being committed to the nearest nuthouse. She thinks more reviews are in order since her "plot is lik todally orignl n im sch a writtin prodgy tht won dey ill b pblishd lol, so lik u gotta rview plzzzzzz".

Real A/N: You're all crazy! Crazy I tell you! What are you all still reading it for! Anyway, it's pretty fun, so I'll continue. Thinking of making a forum for all the clichés you get out there in plots? Could be kind of interesting; if I finish this one, I might write some more for different ships. Any ideas/requests?