A/N: Hello everyone! It's been a while. But here's a new chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. I took some of your requests and kind of merged them into one, and so I don't know if I can thank you enough for taking the time to review and giving me suggestions.

DISCLAIMER: I am nothing but a student. I don't any of the rights to anything and I'm not making any money off of this. So… don't sue please and thanks!

SIRIUSLY IN LOVE

Could one of Hogwarts' top playboys finally be taken? Who is his lady love?

Sirius Black, 17, certainly fits the bill for a womanizer. Not only is he tall, dark and handsome, but also smart and mischievous. So really, there's a little bit for every one. His looks attract the shallow people, his brains the nerds and his slightly naughty streak gets to just about everyone else. As you can see, even this reporter has fallen under Sirius' spell. Not that this reporter minds. He is an awesome bit of eye-candy…

But is that all he is to be? Just eye-candy? Have his philandering, womanizing ways finally come to an end after all these years? Will hearts all over Hogwarts be bleeding after this article is read?

Alas, the sad answer to all these questions is yes. Yes, Sirius is now strictly off-limits. He was seen yesterday on the grounds holding a long-stemmed red rose by an anonymous tipster, who had this to say: "Oh, my gosh! There he was, in all his sexy Sirius glory. And he was totally holding a rose and I almost fainted because when he was walking past me outside my the lake I could of sworn that he winked at me. So I obviously thought that the rose was for me, but he just kept on walking past me and into the castle, which I guess makes sense because he doesn't even know my name.

And then I completely followed him, because how often is it that you see Sirius Black of all people holding a rose? It's totally the ultimate romantic gesture and I really wanted to know who it was for so I could jump the lucky girl and steal it for myself.

Anyway, I was following him and he went up to the second floor and into the girls' toilets! After a minute or two, he came out, smiling, sans rose! So naturally, I went in after he left and there was Moaning Myrtle, smiling like a happy duck with the rose! I almost barfed and fainted at the same time!"

Who would have ever thought Myrtle could smile? Furthermore, who would have ever thought that Sirius would give Myrtle a rose?

Myrtle, apparently, was not shocked. After receiving this tip, people from the Hearsay were able to reach Myrtle for a comment. When asked if Sirius gave her the rose out of love, she smiled coyly and replied, "But of course. Nowadays, boys don't go around giving roses to girls they don't like."

According to the mournful ghost, Sirius has been visiting Myrtle on and off for the past three years, but until recently it was a strictly friends-only basis. While this could definitely explain why Sirius has yet to have a real, live girlfriend, one cannot deny that, well… HELLO? THIS IS CRAZY! It is pretty much off-the-charts cuckoo!

Even stranger is the way they apparently go about dating. According to Myrtle all they do is sit in the lavatory together, sometimes for hours, just talking. They cannot have any sort of physical contact, or else he will fell as we all do when we touch a ghost – all cold and gross. Never mind the fact that Myrtle is not made of solid matter!

"Oh, but Sirius doesn't care for any of that. He loves me for me," crowed Myrtle when we asked her. "He sometimes feels bad that he can't take me out, you know, to Hogsmeade and such, so he does really sweet things. Like, he buys me flowers or moldy peanuts."

So there you have it folks. The playboy and the whiny waif. This truly is a Beauty and the Beast story. But how long will this unusual coupling last? How will they react to their relationship going public?

Below are the responses of various inhabitants of this castle to the rather shocking relationship we at the Hogwarts Hearsay have uncovered:

"Um, ew. That's just gross. I mean, he should probably just dump her and hop into bed with me. He can't even, you know, do her, or anything!" – Our anonymous tipster

"Fabulous! This is just fabulous – it's a great step in pro-ghost movements, you know." – Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington a.k.a. "Nearly Headless Nick", resident ghost of Gyffindor

"Hahaha!" – Severus Snape, seventh-year Slytherin

"Is this a proven fact? If not, which I doubt it is, please leave my office and do not waste my time, I have papers to grade." – Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house

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Would you like to drop off a tip?

Yeah, we know. We have our own eyes and ears opened and peeled everywhere, but we could always use a little bit of help. If you have something you'd like to tell us, send an owl to:

The Hogwarts Hearsay

Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry

All tips will be anonymous unless otherwise noted.