Alrighty folks, here it is! Chapter 7! Drum roll . . .

Okay now that I got that out of my system . . . This one was fast for me but I alreaady had it mostly done whenI submitted the last one. I've got some ideas in mind for chapter 8 but nothing on paper yet so that one's going to take longer to write, sorry guys.

Well, until then read and enjoy! And don't forget to review, please! (yes, i nkow I was pushy about vreviews last time but no one had reviewed in awhile so . . .

One last ting! I don't own Eva or Inu Yasha!

'nuf said.

Ch. 7 At the Palace

As we approached the castle of the western lands Sesshomaru command I let him walk the rest of the way. I protested but Sesshomaru made it clear that he would walk the rest of the way whether I liked it or not. Using his swords for support he hobbled along ahead of Aun and Jaken scuttled just behind him. Rin stayed as she was, asleep in my lap. It didn't take long for the gates of the palace to appear. As we approached they swung wide open. A young woman in a white kimono rushed through them moments later and threw her arms around Sesshomaru. "Daddy!" She cried.

"Haruko." He murmured.

Haruko pulled away to look at Sesshomaru. From where I sat I could see her white clothes were now blood stained. Haruko seemed not to notice however; she was too busy staring at Sesshomaru. "What happened to you dad? You're bleeding all over!" She exclaimed.

With a sigh Sesshomaru lurched and fell forward. "Sesshomaru!" a woman screamed.

I turned to see a group of inu youkai had formed by the gates. An older woman was running out of the crowd toward Haruko and Sesshomaru. She grabbed Sesshomaru under his right arm and the two women helped him into a stretcher and several youkai bourn it away out of sight. Most of the crowed turned and followed it in. Two inu youkai however came up to Aun.

Their strong arms seized me and lowered me to the ground. The second one handed Rin's sleeping form to the one who helped me down and then grabbed Aun and led him away. The first one turned and headed toward the gates. When he noticed I wasn't coming he stopped and looked at me. "It's okay. You can come inside." He said.

I didn't get it. Why would youkai just let two humans inside the palace? "Why?"

"Because your one of the bravest or possibly craziest human around. Most humans would be too scared to help a demon lord let alone go near a youkai palace. Come along. You look like you could use a good rest and treatment."

"Treatment?" I wondered. Oh, yeah. I was still pretty cut up from Naraku's attacks and I probably looked lovely. My arms and sides covered with sticky blood soaked bandages and I had a swollen, bruised lip and cheek. Yes I was a sight for sore eyes indeed.

Quietly I followed him inside. I was let into a small room where several women youkai awaited. They removed my torn Kimono and took my plug suit from me. Then they took my bags from me. They pulled at my bandages and one by one they peeled them off my injuries. They then forced me into a natural hot spring that gurgled up under the palace. As I soaked they unbraided my hair and began to comb it out. While they were doing that one of them produced soap from somewhere and began to scrub me down. When I was finally deemed clean I was presented with a new soft light blue kimono to wear.

The tallest one disappeared into another room and returned with a bowl of a thick acrid smelling green salve. One by one they rubbed it on my cuts and then wrapped them in fresh bandages. The salve seemed to have the strange effect of leaving my cuts with a numb tingling feeling but I wasn't allowed to dwell on it long though because as soon as they were done and my obi was secured I was dismissed. I was led by one of them to a small but eloquently furnished room. I was informed by her that I would be sleeping here then left alone. Just like that.

Looking around I was too scared to touch anything. Everything looked so delicate and fragile that I was afraid if I made a move it would all crumble into pieces. All this beauty and splendor was too much for me. Especially since I had never been near such things before during the course of my short life. It was all too much for me. So I curled up on the floor right where I was and went to sleep.

I awoke the next morning stiff, achy and cold. Outside the sky was still dark but there where some lighter bands starting to appear. Ignoring my muscles protest I stood up and began to walk around and examine my room. Sometime after the sunrise I heard a servant girl come in. I had been hiding in the shadows sulking at the ever-brightening sky. Ever since instrumentality my eyes and skin had been extremely sensitive to the sun. It was rough adjusting to the way my body normally was when I was used to being able to control it with medication. I had vowed that when I got back the first thing I'd do was find some of the medication Dr. Akagi had been giving me and start taking it again.

I watched the girl as she came in from my darkened corner. Although she was several inches shorter than I was she looked to be about my age. She had long black hair tide back with a bandana and a wide toothy smile. "Lady Haruko asks that you join her for breakfast.' She said when she saw me.

I nodded in the affirmative. I saw no problem with that. Besides I was curious to meet Sesshomaru's daughter. The girl scurried to the wardrobe and produced an intricate kimono colored multiple shades of blue adorned with delicate orchids. Before I knew it she was back behind me untying my obi. I was soon washed, redressed and my hair was done up. Before I left I looked at myself in the mirror on the inside of the wardrobe. My reflection looked taller, older and thinner than I remembered; probably the effect of not having seen myself in a mirror in over four years. I had been fifteen then now I was almost nineteen. That's a long time I remarked with sadness.

The servant girl, whose name was Eto, had been standing in the corner motioned for me to get going. I followed her out the door and to the dining room. In the center of the spacious room that she lead me to was a large square table and seated at opposite ends of it was Haruko and the older woman that run out of the crowd. Thankfully the room was dimly lighted at the moment so I was able to see okay. Haruko looked up at me and smiled. "Welcome. Please sit down."

I did my best to return her smile and took a seat. "First off, I believe introductions are in order." Haruko began "I am Lady Haruko, daughter of Lord Sesshomaru and she is Lady Ririko, My grandmother."

"It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Rei Ayanami."

"It's a joy to meet you, Rei Ayanami." Replied Haruko.

"First off we both would like to thank-you" Said Lady Ririko "For bringing Lord Sesshomaru home. As a token of our gratitude you may stay among us and make full use of Eto, the servant girl I've assigned to you. If you don't want to stay long however I understand. You and the child may leave at anytime."

I shook my head. "I don't know where Rin comes from." I explained "She's been living under Lord Sesshomaru's care since before I met him."

"Oh, I see. I assumed you two where some form of relation or at least well acquainted. I'm sorry. " Said Lady Ririko snidely.

I could tell she was already building animosity towards me. Part of me wondered if there was something about me that created such feelings or if it was just the people I met.

Our conversation eventually came to the topic of how I met Sesshomaru and came to be here. When I came to the part about Inu Yasha and company Lady Ririko suddenly became very quiet and remained that way until I finished my story. I got the feeling I had offended her and I was in trouble. How right that would prove to be. "I believe we have talked enough now." She said stiffly.

The rest of the meal was eaten in almost complete silence despite Haruko's pale attempts to start a conversation. Of course I wasn't much help to seeing as I wasn't very good at such things. When the meal was finished I dismissed myself and Eto led me back to my room. For the rest of the morning I stayed there running the scene from breakfast through my head over and over again trying to figure out what had made Lady Ririko so upset. Now, normally, I don't do stuff like that. Thinking over past events had been mostly unimportant and a waste of time but I was in a different situation back then. Now all I could think about was the pained look on her face when I said Inu Yasha's name. I knew Inu Yasha and Sesshomaru were brothers but from her face it looked like there was something more. By lunch time large thunderhead clouds were gathering on the horizon. It would rain the rest of the day.

A soft knock at the door interrupted my thoughts and Haruko entered. She looked worn out and emotionally exhausted the way Sohyu always did after she'd been fighting with everyone all day. Obviously nothing good had been happening since breakfast. "My father wishes to see you before lunch." She said weakly.

"Then I shall."

Although my face and voice remained emotionless my stomach was doing flip-flops, as Sohyu would call it. I hadn't expected to see Sesshomaru before I left so I wasn't sure what to expect. I had anticipated staying here briefly and then being forced to leave. Well, if he wanted to see me maybe that meant he had something in mind. None the less I followed Haruko to Sesshomaru's room.

A wave of acrid smoky smelling air greeted me when I opened the door. On the far end of the room lay a giant white three legged dog surrounded by incense. As I approached it raised its massive head to look at me. "Well, it took you long enough." Sesshomaru's voice grumbled.

"Sesshomaru . . ." I stammered quickly.

Sesshomaru laughed ruefully. "Don't be so surprised. I told you that I was a demon. I just never showed you my full form. It's rather unreliable and unwieldy since I lost my left leg."

"So this must be your full form?"

"Yes. It is. I decided to use it while I'm here so I could recover. Using my human form takes up too much energy."

"I see."

"So, you're still here I see. That must mean that my mother hasn't scared you away."

"No. Not yet."

"Good let it remain that way."

"What?"

"You are forbidden from leaving the castle grounds unless I say otherwise."

"Why?"

"Because if you do I cannot guarantee your safety."

"From Naraku?"

"Exactly."

Sesshomaru was afraid Naraku would hurt me but I thought I was only a human to him. So why protect me?

"Don't think this is because I like you or pity you because you're a human. It's because I hate Naraku more than anyone and the last thing I want is for him to have his way with you."

So I was only being protected because it was a way to irritate Naraku. That was fine. As long as something was between me and him I'd be okay. "Understood."

"Very good. You may leave."

I bowed and left quickly. Outside the room Eto waited to escort me to lunch.

Lunch passed much as the later half of breakfast had. Not wanting to be cooped up in my room for the rest of the day I had Eto show me to the gardens. I wandered the stone lined paths admiring the plants until I came to a small ornate bench.

I had been resisting contacting my relatives for many months now because I was secretly terrified of what they would say. Our last meeting had not gone well and I knew they harbored resentments against me for my role in defeating them. Still I think I feared even more what the others would say, Shinji, and yes Asuka too. I couldn't face them or what I had done. Now however this place was becoming dangerous and it was time I leave. It was now or never. I took a deep breath and sat down. After getting comfortable I closed my eyes and released my AT field. I reached out searching for Kaworu. I had chosen him because of all of them I thought he'd be the most willing to help.

Kaworu sank tiredly to the ground coughing weakly. For the last several days he'd been trying to find Rei but to no avail. He couldn't do this much longer the strain was taking it's toll on him and his body wouldn't hold up much longer. Kaworu wanted to keep trying though, Shinji was counting on him and Kaworu didn't want to disappoint him. Once more try he promised himself then he would go take a nap and get something to eat.

As Kaworu sat there trying to collect himself from his last attempt Shinji came up to him. He surveyed Kaworu worriedly for several moments before handing him something to drink. "Well?" Shinji inquired.

Kaworu shook his head. "Take a rest Kaworu. You look horrible." Shinji insisted.

Kaworu nooded, "I will I just want to try again once more first."

Kaworu was getting ready to go to sleep a short time later after yet another failed attempt when he heard it, "Kaworu . . ." A soft voice called.

Kaworu shook his head at first believing it to be a side effect of lack of sleep and closed his eyes. The next thing he knew Rei was standing in front of him dressed in an ornate kimono. Kaworu blinked in amazement. Part of him couldn't believe it after searching for so long so hard to have the object of his search show up effortlessly right in front of him. And that kimono, he'd never seen her dressed up so before. Thankfully though other than a few cuts visible on her face and hands she looked just fine. Shinji would be thrilled to hear she was okay. "Hello, Kaworu"

"Hello, Rei. How have you been?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Good the others will be glad to hear that. We've all been really worried."

"Kaworu there's something I want to ask you, can you bring me back or am I stuck here?"

"If the others would cooperate we could easily bring you back but if they won't it will be extremely hard to impossible to."

"I see. Thank-you"

"You're welcome. Rei, do you want to come back?"

"Yes, I am ready."

"Good, I'll do what I can. It may take might take a while so you'll have to sit tight for a couple of days."

"That's fine. Thank-you again, Kaworu."

You're welcome, Rei, good bye!"

"Bye."

Kaworu could feel Rei's consciousness recede as his own surrendered to sleep. When he awoke hours later the first thing he did was to go find Shinji. He found him sitting in on a cliff over the LCL ocean below.

I opened my eyes and stood up as the rain began to fall. There I had done it. I had talked with Kaworu. As much as I had wanted to know more I had sensed his state of extreme exhaustion. I couldn't make myself press him further. Not now at least. I would talk to him again later after he had rested up.

I made my way inside and went down the hall to return to my room. As I passed Sesshomaru's room I heard Haruko scream, "You don't understand, father! I'm three times older then some of those girls who've been given Rights, Why not me!

"I told you it's impossible for me to allow that!" Sesshomaru roared back.

I pressed myself against the wall as Haruko ran from the room sobbing. From within the room I heard Sesshomaru mutter a colorful string of curses. Once she had disappeared I attempted to slip by and continue on my way but Sesshomaru stopped me. "Rei."

"Yes?"

"Can we talk for a moment?"

I was weary of the great dog demon since I knew he was in a foul temper but he wanted to talk. That was something he didn't normally want to do. I looked at him and I could tell he was embarrassed that I had seen what was obviously supposed to be a private moment. "Of course."

"Come. Sit." He commanded.

I stepped inside his room and knelt down next to him. "What do you want to talk about?" I inquired.

"About that scene you just witnessed. I know what it looked like but I have my reasons for what I did."

"Whatever the fight was about it's none of my concern. It's between you and you daughter. I won't judge you based on that."

"I'm glad someone isn't after me."

"So I take it your family hasn't been very welcoming."

"Hardly. They all want me to do or give them what they want. What about you? I asked them to be civil towards you. Have they been?"

"Yes, for the most part they have. I get the feeling your mother's not happy I'm here and Haruko's been pulling a lot of strings for me to keep her from doing anything."

Sesshomaru grinned ruefully. "If we get back on speaking terms I'll be sure to express to her my gratitude."

"About that, what are these Rights so important to her?"

"Because once she has them she can leave my protection and enter the world."

"So she's confined to the Westernland?"

"Yes. I must keep her trapped. If she were to leave the Westernland the barrier that protects it will be dramatically weakened. We'd be open to attack from Naraku or any other powerful demon that had half an inkling to do us harm."

"So she must remain or put the people at risk?"

"Exactly but I don't know what to do. When she was little she accepted her confinement because she believed it was because she was my daughter. Now however she wants freedom and I don't know what to do."

"Does she know the real reason?"

"No."

"This is a only a suggestion but if you want to make peace with her tell her."

"Why? She'd only hate me more."

"At first maybe but I find the truth is better in the long run."

"Hypocrite."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't preach what you can't follow yourself."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"And I will consider your advice. Deal?"

"Deal."

That evening I was summoned by Lady Ririko. She wanted me to meet her in one of the rooms at the far end of the palace in one hour. I wrote back that would be there and sent Eto to deliver the letter. At the appointed time I was dressed, with make-up put on properly and on my way there. When I entered the room I knew instantly something was up. There were several of the inu youkai warriors along with Sesshomaru, Haruko, and Ririko inside. "Enter and take a seat, Rei. It was so nice of you to join us." Lady Ririko said.

I nodded and bowed to them, "As you wish."

I took the only empty seat in the room and knelt down. Around me I could feel several of the youkai stir with uneasiness and upon further inspection I realized that only Sesshomaru's face was devoid of emotion. I was quickly informed that because I was human there were certain tests I must pass in order to continue living among the inu youkai. If I passed nothing would change, If I failed but was still alive I would become a slave, if I fail but didn't make it that was too bad for me. While not too keen on what I had been told I replied that I was ready. Lady Ririku nodded and two of the inu youkai charged at me. I raised my AT field and blocked them with ease. They got to their feet and returned to where they had been standing. Ririko told me she wanted me to fight back against the next set of attackers and sent them foreword. I created a smaller version of my energy blast and sent it at them. Both were knocked over by it and hit the ground. They got to their feet slowly and limped back into line. Then she sent another two on me. Them I stopped with my mind, paralyzing them before they were halfway to me. I turned to Ririko and stared her down. "Have you seen enough?" I demanded.

She smirked evilly and motioned to Haruko. She raised her bow and fired at me. Haruko's arrow pierced my AT filed but I caught it before it could strike me. To make my point I incinerated it. Ririko snarled but motioned for me to leave. I bowed and snuck a glance at Sesshomaru. He winked back and I turned to leave. I remained retrained until I reached my room and my door was closed behind me. Then I sank to the floor with a sigh. My whole body was shaking and I suddenly felt exhausted. I hadn't killed anyone. I was so glad beyond words. I had hurt too many people already. There lost souls condemned by my hands. I couldn't do that again.

The next morning I received word from lady Ririku that I was now officially Rin's guardian. I was also to serve as a pseudo servant and was expected to do simple tasks around the palace. I could tell right away this was an attempt to humiliate me after last night but that didn't bother me. If she was mad that was her problem. Besides she couldn't do worse to me then had been already done. I was not stranger to hard work nor was I afraid of it.

Lady Ririku kept me quite busy with little odd cores during the next several days. I didn't mind it but I got the feeling that the servants envied me now because of my status. Eto told me that Sesshomaru was defending me and he and Lady Ririku had great battles over what to do with me. According to her if it weren't for Lady Ririku's fear of losing Sesshomaru so soon after his return she would have killed both Rin and me outright by now. I found the thought disturbing but I took small comfort in the knowledge that she couldn't kill me easily if she tried.

One evening after a particularly long day I decided it was time I take a soak in the springs with Rin. I had helped the maid take Sesshomaru to the spring earlier that day, which was what had given me the idea. Besides; even though I was much better from when I came here I was still sore in places and my arms hadn't completely healed yet. When I arrived at the spring Rin was already soaking; waiting for me. I went behind the screen and removed my kimono. I switched it for the simple white bathing one that was waiting there for me and tied the sash around my waist. Then I went out to join Rin.

I slipped it and let the bubbling hot water surround me. I felt good. I hadn't been in a hot spring before and now I was beginning to regret that fact. Beside me I heard Rin blowing bubbles in the water playfully. I sat relaxed I untied the string around my braid and unbraided my long blue hair. "Miss Rei's hair is so pretty." I heard Rin exclaim when it finally hung loose down my back.

"You think so?" I asked.

I leaned back against the side and immersed my self as far as I was able to. "Yeah." Rin agreed happily as she came to sit beside me. "Miss Rei's hair is that pretty blue color. Rin like it. How did Miss Rei get hair like that?"

"I was born with it." I told her.

"Wow." Rin mouthed looking totally in awe. "Is that why Miss Rei has red eyes?"

"Yes, it is."

"Why?" Rin asked curiously.

"I was created an albino. That means my skin has no color, which causes my eyes to be red, my hair to be this color blue and my skin to be white and burn easily."

"Does albino hurt?" Rin asked eyes big with fascination.

I thought about her question for a moment before I answered. "Yes. It does. Because I'm albino my eyes sting when it's sunny outside and the sun makes my skin burn."

"That doesn't sound very fun."

"No it isn't but I live."

"Are there other people who have albino?"

"Yes. I'm not the only person like this but I've never met anyone else with it."

"It must make Miss Rei feel alone and sad."

"No. I don't need to know someone who is albino to be happy. I can be happy knowing other people."

"That's good."

I lay my head back and closed my eyes letting the warmth seep into my body. It was really relaxing here. "Miss Rei, Is that mark on your neck part of albino too?" Rin asked suddenly.

I opened my eyes to see Rin looking eagerly at me. I looked down at the thick scar that ran around my neck. "No. This is from something else." I told her.

"What happened? Did . . .did Miss Rei meet death too?"

Death? I chewed the word over slowly like a taste tester sampling a new dish.

Death was such a simple word really. Only four letters, two vowels, two consonants. Yet, there was something so cold and final about it. Despite my time in instrumentality I had never understood man's or for that fact my own fascination with the subject. I guess mine could be explained by the fact that by the time I was seventeen I had died three times. First, as the first at the hands of Naoko Akagi, then as the second fighting the sixteenth angel, and finally as the third, myself, the price to undo Instrumentality and return Shinji to life.

I could feel a prickle on the back of my neck like I was being watched. I looked over to see Rin waiting eagerly for me to answer. I realized that for the first time I was nervous. Death was not any easy subject for me to discuss despite my history with it. I needed time to organize my thoughts. "I'll make you a deal Rin, if you tell me about the time you died I'll tell you about the time I died." I promised her.

"Okay." Rin agreed happily.

Thank-goodness Rin was so easy going. She was so young and naive still. I felt bad taking advantage of that quality in her but I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't want to hear of more death but that had seemed better then telling of my own. "Do you want to know about the time Rin died here (at this part she indicated her body) or here (she made a fist and thumped it against her chest over her heart)." Rin asked.

"Why not both?" I said.

"Okay." Rin agreed cheerfully.

I saw Rin face cloud over as she concentrated on her thoughts. "The day Rin died in here" She began slowly making a fist over her heart again "bad people came to Rin's house. They told daddy to pay them lots of money or they would hurt us. We were poor and daddy couldn't pay them. So they killed brother first . . .."

Rin's voice broke off and I heard her shutter several times. "They . . .they made him fall down on the floor. Then they picked up his head and . . ."

Rin stopped again as her small voice was over powered by a sob. "They hit . . .they hit it against the ground over and over and over . . ."

Rin moaned weakly as she'd been physically hit herself. I pulled her close to me and let her lay against me and cry. I felt saddened no, pained that Rin had undergone such anguish in her short life. After a time she seemed to have calmed down. "And then your brother didn't move anymore, did he?" I finished for her.

I hadn't expected Rin to continue on after that but to my surprise she did. "They went for Daddy. One of the bad men raised his long pointed thing at daddy and bam; he hit the floor. Mommy was next. They pinned her to the bed and called her bad names. They did bad things to her; Rin can't say. Rin wanted to leave but some bad men where watching the door so it wasn't safe for Rin to leave her hiding place. When they were done the bad men tied her up and cut off her head. "

Rin ran her finger across her neck like a knife. I flinched suddenly reminded of my own decapitation. Rin was trembling against me. I think I could understand why Rin didn't talk after that although it was impossible for me to understand how horrible it was for her. It was clear why Rin called this her heart's death. She had died inside that day along with her family, not from any physical wound but from shock and horror. I wished I could take away this memory from her. Rin was such a sweet girl and she didn't deserve this scar. We sat there for a long time in silence. I didn't think Rin had ever talked about her family's death. I felt sick at having been the one to bring them up. "Do you want to talk anymore?" I asked her.

Rin replied with a hesitant yes. "Should I talk now?"

"No, Rin will finish." Rin insisted.

Against my better judgment I decided to let her. "The day Rin died in body she had gone back to get food for Lord Sesshomaru who Rin had found hurt in the woods. When Rin got to her house there was a man there. The man left and wolf demons went after him."

Rin paused here although this seemed more for breath then anything. "The next thing Rin remembers she was running through the woods with wolves behind her. Rin tripped and hit the ground. Pain, sharp as razors from the wolves teeth. Then there was nothing. Rin remembers hearing her family's voices calling to her. Then everything felt warm and Rin woke up. Lord Sesshomaru was there. Rin knew he'd saved her. From then Rin stayed with him."

I nodded picturing the scene as she spoke. She didn't seem as upset this time. I guess it's because she was till traumatized by the loss of her family to be distressed by her own death. "So I guess death was peaceful for you." I said.

"Yeah, It was like being wrapped in a big black blanket. Rin remembers a light and her family's voices telling her it was okay. Rin knew they were right. It was a good place."

I nodded. Rin was probably headed to death when Sesshomaru brought her back. She'd a fleeting taste of heaven. "Tell me about when Miss Rei died." Rin asked.

"You sure you want to hear my story?" I asked her.

I asked out of concern for Rin. I didn't want to cause her more pain. Rin insisted though. "I've died three times." I began "The first time it happened I was even younger then you. I had made a woman very angry and she grabbed me by the throat. She squeezed and squeezed. I couldn't breathe and I could feel my neck giving way. Then there was a horrible crunch and everything went black."

I felt my fists bunch reflexively as the fuzzy image of the last moments of the firsts life came to mind. My breath caught and for a moment it was hard to breathe. "What happened next?" Rin asked.

"I was dead."

"What was being dead like?"

"Cold. Like floating in a giant ice bath. I remember voices talking, whispering all around me. Then I was alive again. I had been bought back, but now I was older . . ."

"Wasn't Miss Rei scared?"

"No, not really. I was too naïve to know that I should have fear. It wasn't until I was older that I learned that I was different. This time I was alive for a long time, years and years. Then one day the monsters came to attack. I was one of the defenders responsible for stopping them. Time went by and one by one we stopped them, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 . . .13, 14, 15. The sixteenth showed up and I was the only one able to fight. I was attacked and the monster tried to take over me. There was pain. I remember that but it was nothing I hadn't felt before. Then one of my comrades came out to help me. The monster went after him now. For the first time I was . . .scared. I didn't want the monster to hurt him. So I self-destructed taking the monster with me. My final memories are of fire, intense scalding heat and a want to live."

"Miss Rei is a good person protecting her friend from the bad monster. Did it hurt when she died?"

"I'm glad you think so. Yes, it was excruciatingly painful. My skin began to boil and remember being pulled apart by powerful forces. Blood, boiling blood and blinding light."

I shuttered at the memory. The second's death was much more vivid then the first's had been and thus harder emotionally to remember. As I sat here I could literally feel my skin begin to boil and blood pore from my stomach. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms several times. I kept expecting to feel boils and or blood appear. My skin felt like it had begun to crawl. Quickly I grabbed the side and pulled myself out, leaving my feet dangling in the water. From beside me I heard Rin ask, "What's wrong Miss Rei?"

"Nothing. Just some bad memories. (Very powerful ones I thought to myself.)"

Rin didn't look convinced but seemed to accept my explanation. "So what happened the third time?"

"Right. I was reborn a few days after I had killed myself in the explosion. However I could no longer fight the enemy again. After the final monster was destroyed my friend and brother was in great pain. I wanted to make him happy. So I gave him what he wanted. The perfect paradise where he was alone but in the end he rejected the fantasy. He wanted to live. So I paid the price of undoing my work with my death. So in the end I did give him what he wanted by dying."

"Miss Rei made her brother happy by dying?"

I paused for a moment. I had made him happy hadn't I? Yes, and because of that, I was . . . happy as well . . .? "Yes . . ."

"Did it hurt that time?"

I could feel tears sting my eyes and the memories rushed back to consume me. "I was lonely . . . Rejected . . . Yes, he hadn't wanted me anymore. I was left with nothing to hang onto. I had nothing but the darkness within me, nothing else. In the end they'd all left me. Let me go . . ."

I could feel a single salty tear roll down my face. I had been expendable. An empty husk to make others happy and be discarded in the end. A tool of man's desires; a puppet slave to others. That's all I ever was . . .

Thanks to Hearns for sugguesting a death talk bath session. ( I have no idea if that's what you meant when you suggested it or not but I think it came out pretty good!)

Unitl the next instalment!