-Smiles- I have yet another chapter for you! This one is longer the normal so don't say you weren't warned. Read and Enjoy! Oh, and don't forget to reveiew!

I don't own Eva!

Chapter 14: The Trouble with Feeling is Pain

For the next few days after her return Rei had avoided Sesshomaru whenever possible. He knew something had upset her. After her talk with Meiki, Rei's expression had been unreadable. That alone should have been a clue. Rei's expression normally was readable even if it was almost blank. Sesshomaru had tried repeatedly to talk to her alone but she evaded him at every turn. She was good at it too. Rei knew exactly where to place herself so that he could not get close. If she had to go near him she created an illusion that made him think it was someone else until it was too late. On top of all that she would disappear on him as a last resort. Yet everytime he looked at her he read the desire to get close to him.

Well, actually there was no way to get close to her. Sesshomaru wasn't sure if it was the best idea. This was because it involved him sneaking into her room in the middle of the night waking her up and forcing her to talk to him. That sounded like a recipe for trouble. Sesshomaru shook his head and dismissed the plan every time it came up. There had to be a better way.

Sesshomaru was determined to find some other way to have a talk with her. He knew Meiki was behind it despite her repeated denials that the two women had had anything but a quick friendly chat. To add further evidence against her Meiki was very insistent on being close to the inu lord at all times. Sesshomaru couldn't exactly ignore her attentions because she was not only the daughter of one of the most powerful inu youkai lords she was also his oldest childhood friend. They had known each other since they were babies. So to disregard her would be both rude and offensive.

There was trouble; Meiki and his mom were behind it. That much Sesshomaru was sure of. He needed a plan to break through their block and get to Rei. That was the most important thing. After some careful thought a plan came to him. He would find her in the morning when she was all alone in her room. It was the best chance he had of talking to her.

Sesshomaru waited until the next morning and got up early just before the sunrise. He knew Rei was an early riser and it was the only way to assure he wouldn't miss her. He made his way slowly to her door so that anyone who saw him would think he was simply out for an early morning walk. When he arrived there Rei's door was slightly ajar allowing him a partial view of the inside. Rei knelt in the center of her room holding something small in her hands. She sighed and shook her head. "Another one of them."

--

I had avoided Sesshomaru on purpose for many days now. Not because I wanted to but because I had to for my own safety. Meiki and Lady Ririko were threatening Rin's life and mine. Every morning when I woke up there was a doll like replica of Rin or me hanging from the door. All of them had their necks destroyed. I understood the message loud and clear. Stay out of the way or they would strangle Rin or me.

So as much as I hated it and as much as I loathed it with every fiber of my being I ignored what my heart told me. I kept away from him and pretended he wasn't there. There was no way I was going to get caught in the middle of this. So indented to keep my head down and get out of here alive because I had no doubt that I would die if I did not.

That was until Sesshomaru came searching for me. At first I was able to avoid him and I became good at it. However there was one place when it was hardest to avoid him, either early in the morning or at night after I had put Rin to bed. That's where he caught me. I had been sadly studying the face of the latest doll to be left on my door. They were getting better at copying my likeness and this one looked exactly like me. I twisted the fabric between my fingers uttering a secret prayer that this wouldn't be my fate. I had been so distracted that I didn't notice Sesshomaru come in until he was standing right over me. "Good morning Rei."

He was smiling warmly at me, which I knew it was more then I deserved from him. I tried to smile back but I found my heart breaking and tears come to the corner of my eyes. Sesshomaru took his hand and gently coaxed the edges of my mouth to turn up at the corner. "There, that's better. You always look so beautiful with a smile.

There was a long pause when neither of us spoke. Then seeing that I wasn't going to Sesshomaru started to speak again. "So aren't you going to tell me good morning back?"

"Good morning Sesshomaru."

"How have you been since you returned to the palace?"

I tried to smile back but it felt completely forced and faked. "I've been well."

Sesshomaru gave me a piercing glare that said he knew without a doubt I was lying and he didn't approve. I cringed internally at the shame. I did not want to lie and run away from him. Sesshomaru put his hand under my chin and tilted my head so that I was forced to look into those eyes full of sadness. "Are you happy?" He asked.

"No. I am not." I admitted in a small voice.

"Then why? Sesshomaru asked his voice edged with uncertainty.

There was no point in denying the truth. "Because they want to kill me and if I get close to you they will do it for sure."

"Who are they?"

"Who else? Your mom and Meiki."

Sesshomaru shook his head and I thought I heard him mutter 'Knew it.' under his breath. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. "I told you to come to me if they gave you trouble."

"Do you remember how I hardly ate last night?"

Sesshomaru nodded. "Why?"

I shuttered to remember how close I had come to death these past several days. I also saw the image of Rin's large scared eyes burned in my memory. It all made me feel sick. "They poisoned my food. Had I eaten I would be either very ill or dead now."

"How do you know?"

"Their thoughts betrayed them." I explained "I don't ordinarily read other's minds but they were so focused on having me eating the poisoned food, I picked up on it without trying."

"Did anything else happen?"

"A couple of close calls for both Rin and me. That kitchen fire last week wasn't an accident. Then there are the dolls made to look like Rin and me that are left outside my room every night.""

"And you don't call this serious."

"No they can and will do worse if I'm caught with you."

"Rei, this is insane. I should go have a talk with them." Sesshomaru insisted.

I put my hand gently on his arm to calm him. "No. I should go and speak to them. You cannot be my shield. I have to stand up for myself."

"It will be dangerous. You could be hurt."

"I know. That's why I need you to watch my back."

Sesshomaru said nothing more but I knew he would keep me safe if I got in trouble. He drew me to him and I let him hold me enjoying the feel of the weight of our bodies pressed together. I tried not to think too much about it so my mind wouldn't wander to places I'd rather it not go. "You try too hard to be so brave and strong."

"I don't know any other way to live my life."

"I've got some advice for you Ayanami; I know you're a good person deep down. Please don't listen to them or anyone else; do not compromise yourself. Listen to your heart. Let your true self speak. It knows what it's doing . . ."

"I'll remember that." I replied.

"Why do I think you'll do better then that?"

"Maybe I will."

We lapsed into silence. Sesshomaru's hand slowly began to stroke my hair. The notion was soothing and I relax almost instantly. "Are you an angel?" He whispered.

I looked over to see his slightly bemused smile with his eyes full of gentleness looking at me. I felt amazed that I could see that side of him or was it I was seeing what I knew to be there all along. Sesshomaru was referring to my personality, not my blood but it was too good a joke to pass up. "Of course I am an angel. I already told you I am half."

Sesshomaru's hand stopped on my head, his fingers still entangled in my hair. He leaned so low his face was right next to mine and I could hear his breath in my ear. "You know what I mean, my bright angel." He breathed softly.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and my entire body shuttered. My hands trembled and tears filled my eyes. He'd called me his angel. The Commander had called me that so many times that I couldn't remember them all. When he said it those words sounded more like a command or binding oath. Somehow those words took on a new life when Sesshomaru said them; it sounded more like a term of endearment. Sesshomaru raised his head. "You like that." He accused me.

"True." I admitted.

There was along silence and then I whispered, "Do you love me?"

"Yes."

Later that day it was time for me to face down my enemies. I dressed in my best including makeup and everything hoping for a slight confidence boost along with a good impression. It was arranged for a private room where Sesshomaru, myself, Meiki and Lady Ririko could talk alone. Haruka was watching Rin for me to make sure nothing happened.

The meeting was short and loud. Nothing was resolved although I was allowed to resume my former position as a part time servant in the palace. I left the meeting feeling frustrated. Sesshomaru told me not to worry about it because I had done well, being the only one to control their temper. I was not convinced. Something told me this was not over.

Still one interesting development had come of our argument or at least I thought it was. During the heat of the fight Lady Ririko had accused Sesshomaru of toying with everyone around him Sesshomaru responded that he was not. He said that he truly cared for me and felt alive again for the first time since Haruna had died. I had to wonder at that and smile deep down I agreed. I was alive and flying high.

The next afternoon I was walking down the hallway carrying a basket full of clothes to be washed when Lady Ririko appeared. She was smiling with pleasure, which was unusual for her normal state. Something must be up. "What do you want?" I asked as politely as possible.

"Come with me, Rei. There's something I think you need to see."

I followed her down the hall. Up ahead of us I heard Sesshomaru's voice coming form a nearby open door. Lady Ririko nodded towards it signaling that whatever it she wanted me to see was in there. Hesitantly I stepped up to the opening and looked in. I was about to say something but I never got the chance. My voice died in my throat from the shock of the sight I saw. "See." Lady Ririko whispered in my ear. "He does not truly care for you."

Sesshomaru was kissing Meiki. I stood there transfixed with horror unable to do anything, my feet cemented to the ground. The instant he saw me Sesshomaru forced her away. He stared at me for the longest time with a look of guilt on his face. "Aya . . . aya . . . Ayanami" He Stammered.

His words were like a magic spell. I found myself suddenly able to move. The first thing I did; I ran. Down the hall; out through the palace doors and into the woods as fast as I could go. I couldn't stand that place any more. I could not take it. I didn't want to know. I was too afraid, to hear what Sesshomaru would have to say. Part of me hated me for ever falling in love with him, another part wanted to know why and yet another wished to yell at him, the jerk, for using me so.

None of these I listened to. I pushed them away and kept going, not daring to look back. I kept going and going, running blindly until I had run out of breath. Finally I could run no more. By then it had started sleeting. It felt oddly perfect somehow and matched my sour mood to a tee. The tears came next as I huddled on the ground, hard bitter tears of jealousy, anger, regret and self-loathing. I cried until I thought I had no tears left and still they fell. Why? I kept asking myself, why? How could he do that? I thought he said he loved me! How could he?

I found an abandoned shrine deep in the forest. I sat on the covered walk way watching as the rain turned to snow and began to cover the ground. I was so exhausted that I was numb to the cold and everything else. My head lie against the post and let the tears roll down my face.

This is what you've feared all along isn't it? You're all alone once again with no one there to save you. This time you've got nowhere to run. The voice in my head taunted.

I had no response for the voice. However the voice in my head had more to say to me.

"He doesn't love you. He used you and left you." Said a voice. "Just like Commander Ikari and everyone else in your life."

"No!" I yelled back "He not like the Commander at all. He's kind and gentle and he really seems to care about me. Besides not everyone in my life has abandoned me, Shinji never did. He saved me from third impact."

"Then can you explain why was he kissing her? He's no different. He's exactly like the Commander. He'll use you, abuse you and leave you in hell to rot your own misery"

"But . . ."

"But nothing. Forget about him and go on."

"But . . .. But he said he love me . . ."

"A lie. You saw for yourself that he was kissing that other girl. He was cheating on you."

"Maybe there's a good explanation . . .?"

"Shut up and stop kidding yourself. He's done nothing for you. He has no regard for your feelings."

"He's saved my life and protected me several times."

"Out of his own selfish desire to thwart Naraku, you heard him say it himself."

"But . . ."

"But . . . What? What's the hold up? There's nothing there for you."

"I want to see him again."

"Why? He'll only cause you more pain."

"Because . . . because, I . . . I love him."

"You want to see him again?"

" . . . Yes . . ."

"Are you prepared to hear what he has to say?"

"I'm afraid to and I'm not even sure if I want to or can . . ."

"Then you're afraid. Understandable, its okay. You know he'll hurt you. So just keep going. Don't look back and you'll be fine."

"No. I want to hear it from his lips. I'll go back. I'm not going to run away."

Finally exhausted and cold I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning dawned cold, grey and wet. I quickly discovered I had journeyed much farther into the wood then I had realized. Between that and my getting lost several times it took me two weary days to get back.

And that's how it happened that late on the afternoon of the second day I came out of the woods and made my way to the palace gate. I was cold, soaked, dripping wet and miserable but I was back. Sesshomaru was waiting on the other side looking possibly more miserable than I was. Had he been waiting for me all this time? One look gave me my answer. Sesshomaru looked up at me when I placed my trembling hands around the cold metal bars. I held my breath wondering what he would say. To my surprise he smiled at me. It was a smiled of relief and of guilt. "You're back." He said.

I nodded. "Sesshomaru." I said in a cracked voice.

I heard a sob and Sesshomaru's body began to shake. "Rei, . . . I'm so . . . so sorry . . . You should have never seen that."

I took a breath and spoke, "I didn't come here to get angry or denounce you. I wanted to tell you that regardless of how you feel about Meiki or me. I love you and I'm not going to run away from that fact. I know that I'm safe from Naraku here so I'll deal the best I can and stay here doing my best to help you in the war against him. In return I only ask one thing, I want you to tell me how you feel about me and Meiki."

I was surprised by how calm my voice was despite the fact that inside I was shaking like jelly. Sesshomaru nodded weakly and opened the gate for me. He motioned for me to sit down on a small bench that was nearby. "I'm so sorry you had to see that. I feel I owe you a better apology for then I could ever offer you. I can't believe you're even here."

I ran through the gate and threw my arms around him. Sesshomaru wrapped his arm around me pulling me against him. Tears ran down my face making both of us even wetter. I felt warmer just by being with him. "I wanted to know why. I had to hear it from your lips, why?"

"Meiki and I have been friends since we were young children. It would seem that at some point she fell in love with me and came to marry me. However it is one sided because I don't love her that way. To me she's sill and always will be a friend. As to why I was kissing her had you shown up a few seconds before you would have seen that it was her who instigated that kiss in desperation of losing me."

I stood there shocked and amazed at the answer I gotten. I'd expected him to tell me that it had just been a cruel game and that he didn't and never would love me. Sesshomaru chuckled and gently pulled my wet bangs away from my eyes. "Don't look at me like that. Rei, I told you before that I love you and I didn't lie. You know I'm not like that. I'd never purposely toy with your feelings."

I smiled as tears of relief rolled down my cheeks. I was so happy that words were unable to express its depth. Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around me and drew me into a kiss.

Meiki and Lady Ririko were not happy to see me back. They gave me angry stares and tried to pretend I wasn't there. Lady Ririko was beyond mad she was incensed to the point of rage. Meiki on the other hand was deeply hurt because she knew she had loss. I felt bad knowing the pain she must be in but I knew it wasn't my fault. Still I tried my best to be kind to her. She came to me while I was in my room with Rin sewing for Lady Ririko. I smiled at her when she entered. She smiled back half-heartedly. "I'm sorry about everything. I wasn't very nice to you was I?"

"You were trying to get what you wanted. I can't fault you for that."

"What about all the stuff I did to you?"

"I forgive you. None of this could be easy on you either."

Meiki shook her head. "True. It's not easy knowing you heart's desire won't be returned. Still I think I will move on in time."

"So what do you intend to do now?"

"I don't know. My parents won't like it if I return without Sesshomaru as my husband so I'm not going to go home just yet. I think I may journey around see the sights and meet new people. It will be good for me I think."

"It sounds like you have I solid plan. I wish you luck in your travels."

The next afternoon I was teaching Rin how to build a snowman in the garden when I was interrupted. Someone was calling my name. "Lady Ayanami!" Came Eto's voice.

I looked up to see Eto running down the path towards me. I could tell she was agitated and out of breath as she neared. Eto stopped in front of me and caught her breath so she could speak. "Lady, Rei. There's a flying object approaching the palace!" She exclaimed.

"What? How close is it?"

"Not far now. Have you seen Lord Sesshomaru we're having trouble finding him?"

I shrugged my shoulders and took off for the front gate. As I made my way through the palace I ran into Sesshomaru, who had been found and informed of the situation. He didn't seem overly concerned about it but his confidence didn't arrest all my fears. We would see who was right shortly though. Moments later Sesshomaru pulled open the final door to the front courtyard. I scanned the sky anxiously for the mysterious flying object. I quickly spotted what I believed to be it. In the sky was an odd white shape. It could have passed as a cloud, except it was too low to the ground and flying somewhat erratically.

I watched it as it neared and realized what it was, a giant white feather. It slowly made its way across the sky in our direction; we could make out a person on board, who we suspected was Kagura, but weren't sure. I had a bad feeling, for if it was truly Kagura who was on the feather it meant bad news. She was Naraku's daughter after all and he didn't let her go anywhere unwatched after her attempted rebellion. I sent my senses out to confirm who it was. Sure enough it was the wind demoness. This left us with one question. How had she gotten inside the barrier? Sesshomaru had told me that anyone who had evil intentions against the Westernland or its people could not enter. That meant her intent must be good. Maybe she was coming to warn us of a plot or give us his location. I waited in silent prayer that we would have the strength to stand up to Naraku and his plan.

The feather landed in the woods on the other side of the gate. Sesshomaru wanted to go see but I cautioned him to wait. Something told me we would find out soon enough. So we waited gate open for what would come out of the woods. Kagura stumbled out of the woods moments later. Her kimono was soaked with blood from injuries that were bleeding profusely. In her arms was something wrapped in a blanket. Slowly on weak legs she approached. Kagura fought the last few steps towards us her fierce demon pride shining in her eyes. He legs gave out as she reached us but Sesshomaru caught her. She leaned against the gate for several minutes trying to catch her breath and compose herself. Finally she straightened up some and looked at us. "Please, Lord Sesshomaru save the boy. Naraku wants him dead." She pleaded.

She turned the bundle slightly and we could see a young boy's face, Kohaku's. I held out my arms and she handed him to me. He was still alive and breathing but was injured. That would make Sango happy. I knew how much she missed her younger brother. Kagura pulled out her feather and went to get on but Sesshomaru stopped her. "Wait, where are you going we can protect you from him. You don't have to go back there." He said.

"Thanks for the offer but I must decline. No power in heaven, hell or on earth can protect me from him as long as he lives. I must be going or he'll suspect me of something."

"But . . ." Sesshomaru insisted.

Kagura pulled her wrist from Sesshomaru's grasp and took off. Moments later she was disappearing over the horizon.

I carried Kohaku inside followed by Sesshomaru. I took him to an empty room on the far side of the palace. I lay him gently on the floor. Then I left to find some fresh water and bandages. I came back with a three bowls and more bandages then I hoped I ever would need. One bowl had water while the others were empty. I set them all out on the floor and began to bandage Kohaku's injuries.

Sesshomaru watched me work silently from his corner in the room. When I was finished I rung out the blood soaked rags in one of the bowls. I sighed and wiped off my hands. "I'm afraid I can do nothing more for him." I said out loud.

"What do you mean?" Sesshomaru asked.

"He is not alive. There is a sacred jewel shard in his back that ties his soul to the body but he is dead."

Sesshomaru's eyes drifted uneasily to the sword at his hilt. I knew what he was thinking Tenseiga could revive him. I shook my head. "No. That won't work. His mind is unstable and it is probable that he will be our enemy if we bring him back."

"Then what should we do?"

"I could attempt to synchronize with his mind and restore his sanity."

"Then if that worked I . . . could bring him back."

I nodded sensing Sesshomaru's reluctance at that final part. "Is something wrong with using the Tenseiga?" I asked as gingerly as possible.

"I just . . . using the Tenseiga . . .it makes me feel weird."

"I can't force you to use it if you don't want to all I can do is ask that you think about the option."

"Well, I won't disregard it . . ." Sesshomaru said reluctantly.

"Thank-you. Sesshomaru if I do this I want you to promise me that you will watch me and not interfere."

Sesshomaru stared at me like he wasn't sure if he wanted to trust me alone in there. I smiled reassuringly at him. "Don't worry. Kohaku can't hurt me."

Reluctantly Sesshomaru nodded to me. "Only if you give your word to be careful. You never know what you'll find in there."

"I won't let anything happen to me." I assured him.

I placed my hand on Kohaku's forehead and let my mind slowly detach from my body and drift down into his. I felt a sock of pain deep in my soul the minute I entered. For a minute I thought my own heart would shatter from the great weight of it. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out in pain. I ventured forth cautiously unsure of where to look first. I knew that it was stupid to go looking for him. He was all around me. I had to find a place where he would talk to me. Each person was different in what it took to make them speak the trick was finding the right trigger.

I kept going and quickly found myself in what felt like an entirely new world. An overwhelming wave of rage, hatred and anger consumed me from every side. It felt like a fire burning higher and hotter then anything I had known. He wanted nothing more then to kill and destroy everything. This place made my skin crawl. I moved on quickly anxious to get out of there.

I soon discovered that there were two other personalities in here. The other two were quite similar. Both had no memories of his past and greatly desired to reclaim his lost memories. They were also stuck on the thought of Sango even though they didn't now who she was. After I made it through these worlds I returned to the first world. I had the core to each world around my wrist now, putting them under my control. This one, although a wash with pain, felt the most real of all the four worlds. This one was Kohaku's true persona thus the most important for me to work with.

Why? Why are you here?

I froze surprised that a voice was speaking to me. It was Kohaku. I was looking for you. I explained.

Why? I am a horrible person. Why would you want to see me?

I want to help you Kohaku. You cannot go on like this. You have your own life. Naraku should not control you any more.

But if I have control I will hurt people. That's what happened last time so many people slaughtered by my hands. And the blood all that blood . . .

Kohaku's voice broke off with a muffled groan. Brief images of men dying and dead bodies flashed through my mind. The flash of pain came with it and struck me straight to the core. I'm a horrible, horrible, weak, worthless, no good, piece of filth.

No you're not. You may have committed murder but you were not you at the time. You were under control of another, the demon you serve. The best thing you can do right now is to try to rebuild your life and repent for your deed everyday of your life.

What if no one wants me? What if I'm left you alone?

Sango still wants to see you. She's been trying to find you and save you since she learned you were alive. She will help you.

Kohaku had not reply for me. He's here.

The words were stiff and heavy. However there was no chance to ask who he was because the next thing I knew Naraku had his hands around my neck. "Well, well, look what I found here?"

--

Rei's body suddenly tensed and her whole body seemed to pull away from Kohaku. Her hand lifted itself so that the tips of her fingers were barely touching his forehead. Kohaku had gone stiff as well and he seemed to be trying to raise his hand. Sesshomaru looked from one to the other, not sure what to do. He could feel the tension in the air and he knew Rei was battling with someone in there and it wasn't going well for her. After a moment he decided that enough was enough. He knew Rei had told him to keep his distance but she was in trouble. Sesshomaru went to her as quickly as he could.

He seized her hand in his and for a second he could see Naraku then he lifted it up breaking the connection. He pulled her small form towards him as she went limp. Kohaku's went limp at almost the exact same moment and the tension ceased. For a breathless second Sesshomaru waited to see if Rei would wake up. At first she didn't respond and Sesshomaru began to wonder if he had done the wrong thing. Had he condemned her to captivity with in Kohaku's mind? He held her hand in his wondering if she should place it back. To his relief Rei shuttered and her eyes snapped open. They stared at him in horror for a brief instant then they relaxed back to normal.

Rei rolled on her side and vomited multiple times into one of the nearby bowls. The she leaned back against him and relaxed. With his hand Sesshomaru massaged her back as she breathed deeply. "You okay now?" He asked her his voice filled with his concern.

She nodded weakly. "Yeah, I'm all right now."

Sesshomaru sighed and allowed himself to breath again. "I am so relieved. What happened in there? Did Kohaku try to hurt you?"

--

"No, Kohaku is incapable of hurting anyone. It was Naraku. He's in there trying to get Kohaku to attack, to force us to kill him."

"What?"

"You told me once Kohaku had multiple personality problems. He actually has four of them to be exact. Two were created by Naraku, one as a violent killer, the other as a scared child with no memories of his past. The third is of Kohaku's creation because he's afraid to remember his past. The fourth is the true Kohaku persona."

"So there are in essence four Kohaku's in there."

"Exactly."

"So where does Naraku come into all of this?"

"He's trying to restore the violent Kohaku person so we'd be forced to kill him. I happened to run into him while I was collecting the core of Kohaku's mind. He obviously wasn't very happy to see me there and attacked. I was about to use my powers to get myself out of there when you broke the connection."

Sesshomaru's cheeks turned red. "I know you didn't want me to but I thought you were in trouble. I'm so sorry if my actions caused you pain or trouble."

"The reason I told you not to touch me is because you would either be pulled in or my link would be broken. If that happened I would be thrown uncontrollably back into my body." I explained.

"So the reason you got sick was because . . ."

"My body couldn't handle the rapid resynchronization with my soul."

Sesshomaru hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's okay," I explained "Actually that may have been a good thing. I disappeared so rapidly that I undoubtedly confused him."

So now what?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Well for now we don't have to do anything. As long as I have these Naraku can't complete his task."

I pulled back my sleeve to reveal the cores of Kohaku's four minds wrapped like bracelets around my wrist. I explained that as long as I had these Naraku couldn't rebuild Kohaku's mind unless he took them from me or made new ones. That would be difficult and take a lot of energy. Knowing Naraku he was extremely lazy and would opt to make me give them up rather then go through the hassle of making new ones. So that left us with a dilemma. In order to repair Kohaku's mind I would have to go back in and put the pieces back together. In doing that I risked an almost certain confrontation with Naraku. I wasn't sure if I'd survive that.

True I had the advantage when it came to such things but Naraku wasn't one to go down easily. I could easily be trapped or permanently damaged by what he did. When I explained the risks to him, Sesshomaru wanted me to take him with me. "I can't. I will need all my concentration on holding Kohaku's mind together against his will and defending myself. Bringing someone else in will cost me in both power and concentration. I can't guarantee you'd be safe, especially if anything happened to me."

"So what do you propose?"

"I will go in alone but I'll leave you with a spirit link so that I have a better chance of pulling myself out."

I produced a thin golden thread and handed it to him. "Unless something bad happens I want you to sit and hold on to this."

"What if you get into trouble?"

"You have my permission to come in if you can and help me out."

Sesshomaru smiled. "Do you honestly want to make me sit and wait like that?"

"I intend to."

Sesshomaru grunted something between agreement and annoyance. This meant that he would abide by my request but he did not like it. "Listen, I've got one more favor to ask. I may need Sango to help me talk to him. You'll know if I need her trust me. Can I count on you to go and find her?"

"Of course. What should I tell her?"

"Instruct her to touch my hand and relax. She shouldn't try to fight or force anything. Just let it happen."

Sesshomaru stared deep into my eyes. Looking back at his eyes I could read his fear and apprehension. He was afraid I'd get hurt or worse. "It will be okay." I promised him.

My words had a hallow ring to them. I think we both had to hear them though. I smiled bravely and placed my hand on Kohaku's forehead. My mind slipped easily into his. I was back at the core of Kohaku's mind. I looked around wary for Naraku's presence. I didn't sense him so he must have given up, for now. However this was Naraku so that wouldn't last long. I had to work quickly. Problem was Kohaku would take time to convince him to come out of his shell.

Kohaku? Are you still here?

For a long time there was silence and I wasn't sure if Kohaku would speak to me at all. The ever so faintly there was a small voice from somewhere in the distance. Are you okay?

I'm okay Kohaku. What about you?"

I'm never okay. I haven't been fine since that day.

You don't have to stay here and suffer. You can wake up from this nightmare.

No. I won't. I cannot go back.

Yes, yes, you can.

I stopped suddenly and held myself very still. I had sensed Naraku's return to Kohaku's mind. He called my names several times but I did not reply. I tried to stay small and invisible so that he couldn't find me. After several unsuccessful minutes of searching for me Naraku was getting annoyed. "Fine. If I cannot destroy you here I'll destroy your body."

I felt the angry Kohaku persona activate. I had one chance to stop this before it got out of hand.

--

Sesshomaru watched anxiously as the tension in the room became so thick you could cut it with a knife. Kohaku was trying to move again and his target was Rei. Sesshomaru looked from one to the other and decided it was time to move. He elbowed the boy to the ground. Kohaku fought back but was powerless against the inu demon's superior strength. Rei's eyes flickered halfway open and she whispered something under her breath. Kohaku quickly quieted and felt still. Rei's eyes closed and she went still again as well. Through the strand he held Sesshomaru some how knew that Rei needed him to get Sango.

Sesshomaru rose stiffly to his feet and left the room, searching for Inu Yasha and his friends. Sesshomaru found them playing cards together. They stopped when they saw him enter the room. Sesshomaru stared down at them his eyes focused on the girl, Sango. "Rei needs to see you." He said softly.

Sango looked stunned and unsure of what to do. The group looked around at one another and Inu Yasha stood up. "We're going too."

Sesshomaru shrugged and then smirked. "Do you honestly think I would do something to her?"

Inu Yasha made an angry face at his brother, which Sesshomaru ignored. He turned and headed back down the hall to the room where Rei and Kohaku were. Sesshomaru didn't bother to look back; he knew the others would follow to see what was going on. When he reentered the room everything was calm and peaceful still. Rei kneeling form was also relaxed and sat easily beside the boy. Kohaku was also immobile. So that meant nothing bad had happened, yet. That was good. Sesshomaru heard the others file in behind him. "What's she doing to Kohaku?" Sango asked quietly.

"She's trying to help your brother."

"Then why do you need Sango?" Inu Yasha growled.

"Rei can not convince Kohaku to return so she needs you to do that."

"How am I supposed to talk to Kohaku when he's asleep like that?"

"Place your hand on hers and relax. You'll be able to speak to him then."

Sango nodded and advanced to the other end of the room. She placed her hand on top of Rei's.

--

I felt Sango enter into Kohaku's mind with me. I shielded her quickly before Naraku noticed her. She looked pale and apprehensive which I could understand. Walking around in someone else's mind was not something I liked to do willingly or took lightly. This was not a pleasant place to be. I smiled and held my hand out to her. She took it and let me pull her farther inside. "Rei, where are we?" She asked in a hallow voice.

"We're in your brother's mind."

Her eyes became huge and her face went blank with horror. I quieted her gently and let her to a place where we could be more easily hidden. I didn't want Naraku to find her and interrupt my plan. "Why? Why is Naraku here."

"He's trying to control your brother. We need to stop him."

"How are we supposed to do that?"

"I need you to speak to Kohaku, call him back to us." I directed her.

"How?"

"Just say his name or something out loud to him."

Sango too a deep breath and shouted Kohaku loudly into the darkness. I had no doubt she had gotten his attention the question would he respond. I didn't have long to wait before I received an answer. Kohaku appeared before us. It was my turned to be amazed. Kohaku had actually come forth to see Sango. He was dressed in his demon slayer armor and covered in blood. Sango gasped when she saw him. "Why? Why is he covered in all that blood?"

"Relax." I whispered, "In this place we see him as he views himself. Obviously he sees himself covered in blood of those he killed."

Sango nodded to show she understood and took a deep breath. "Kohaku come here." She called.

Kohaku ran to her and threw his arms around her. She embraced him back as he began to cry uncontrollably. I stepped back and let them be alone. Sango could handle things from here. Besides I had more important things to worry about. Naraku was looking for me. I had to be sure we would not be found. After setting up all the necessary precautions I returned to where Sango and Kohaku were. He was still crying and she was rocking him gently like a small child. I noticed the tears rolling down Sango's face as she cried with him. I stood there watching Naraku to see that he hadn't detected our presence. I had begun to relax my guard when I noticed his attention focus on me. There you are.

There was no option. We had to move now. I hurried back to Sango and Kohaku to tell them the news. I leaned down close to them and said softly, "I'm sorry. Naraku is coming. We must to do this now."

Sango nodded, understanding what was about to happen all to well. She helped Kohaku to his feet. "Come back with us Kohaku. You don't want to stay here forever do you?" She pleaded weakly.

Kohaku looked ready to resist, run away and curl up in a ball. Sango held fast to him and refused to let him leave. "Please Kohaku. Don't leave me again. I miss you. I . . . I want my little brother back . . ."

I grimaced as Naraku struck my A.T. field with all his might. Come out. Come out wherever you are.

"Hurry." I urged them.

There were several tense moments when I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Then Kohaku nodded and the other three personalities began to crumble. I heard a hideous roar of anger from Naraku. Quickly I grabbed Sango and lead of out of there.

As our presence began to fade I heard Naraku make final threat against the Westernland. "The keys will fall and the barrier will be no more." He warned.

I didn't know what it meant but I felt a cold dread at those words. This could not be good, Naraku was planning something.

I began to move gingerly as consciousness came back to my body. Beside me I heard Sango moving as well and several sighs of relief from others in the room. Sesshomaru took me by the hand and helped me to my feet. I smiled back to assure him I was okay. I looked over and let myself breathe a huge sigh of relief. I could feel the change coming over him. The three fake personalities were rapidly fading and the true Kohaku persona was taking control.

I looked around to see Inu Yasha, Kagome, Miroku and Shippo helping Sango out. Sango leaned heavily on Miroku's shoulder looking worn out from her experience. I couldn't blame her. "Can I do my part now?" Sesshomaru asked.

There was a chorus of agreement from everyone in the room. I bent down and gently turned Kohaku on his side. Sango looked tense from where she was standing. I couldn't criticize her reaction. Kohaku was about to be killed and brought back to life. Miroku held her hand tightly as they wait for me to proceed. I removed the jewel shard as quickly and easily as possible. I lay him on his back as the life rushed out of him. Sesshomaru raised the Tenseiga and sliced through him in one powerful stoke.

A golden aura enveloped him for several seconds. As it began to fade Kohaku opened his eyes.

So how was it? Plz review and tell me . . . -is totally desperate-

And finally for those who care, a teaser:

Seated before us on a throne of ice was an older woman. She had ice blue hair that was a couple of shades darker then mine that was slicked back away from her face. Her eyes were narrow but wise and she was dressed in a modified kimono. In her hand was a two-headed spear with a twist-braided center. She had a commanding presence that one couldn't help but be drawn to and envy all at once. Indeed even I did. I wanted to have the pose and control that she possessed.