Chapter 4
The journey home was difficult - more difficult than Edward could ever imagine a drive would be. First, there was the smell - that glorious smell, threatening to ruin him, as well as Bella. Then, there was the looming guilt. He had never before hurt such an innocent human. The guilt had already swallowed him from his time of rebellion, though he killed only the guilty. This didn't even compare. Her thoughts were a mystery to him, adding to the frustration, so he attempted to spend the entire car ride imagining what could be going through her mind. This made the guilt so much worse, but it was a necessity. The guilt was something he could deal with - what he could not, in fact, deal with, would be not remembering that she was a person, even for a second, & turning around & finishing her off, after he had already come so close & resisted. He could hear her heartbeats drift further & further apart, only by fractions of seconds, but he knew what was happening. He couldn't bear it. There had to be some way to reverse it. He couldn't stand the thought of damning her to an eternity of immorality. He had to get her to Carlisle, & fast. He heard the thoughts of a police officer nearby, & decelerated quickly from 150 mph to 45.
Bella was in far too much agony to even notice the sudden change in speed. The fire was seeping from her neck down into her chest, crawling down her arms to her fingers, which coiled at the intense burning. She continued to cry out in hysterical sobs of pain - pain too intense to even let her mind wonder why he had changed his mind & put her in his car. No, these worries did not even register. She couldn't contemplate anything that had just happened, no matter how bazaar.
As soon as Edward knew that the officer was out of sight, he slammed down on the accelerator. Racing at nearly 200 mph, he wove in & out of traffic, knowing that the need at hand was getting her to his father, & fast.
"Bella, are you all right?" he asked dumbly. Obviously she wasn't all right, but his concern & grief was so overwhelming, & he couldn't think of another phrase to express such a sentiment. She simply let out a moan of pain & desperation in response.
After what seemed like an eternity to both parties, they pulled up to the Cullen house. He swiftly picked her up & raced inside, laying her down on the empty dining room table.
"Carlisle," he spoke quietly, & withing milliseconds, his father was by his side, as was Alice. He answered both of their unspoken thoughts. "I bit her. I didn't mean to - I was so weak. I hate myself." Pausing briefly again to register more of their thoughts, he continued again. "I couldn't drink all of her blood, she is just so innocent. I ruined everything for us - is it reversible? It only happened less than an hour ago."
Carlisle inspected Bella's bite wound & sighed. He spoke aloud for Alice's benefit, as well as for Esme, who had appeared by his other side. "I'm afraid it's too late, Edward. I'm sorry. I could suck the venom out, but there would be far too much blood loss & she wouldn't survive."
Despite the love, compassion, & forgiveness radiating from his mother, Edward despised himself. "So, what? We just wait for the transformation to be complete? There has to be something we can do!" he cried out furiously.
"I'm sorry, Edward," Carlisle spoke gently, "For every action, comes the consequences. We all fall short, despite out beliefs." Carlisle scooped Bella up gently & placed her thrashing body on a comfortable leather couch, covering her with a blanket, as she drifted into unconsciousness.