Standing on Joey's porch, Dawson took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. His face was hot with anger, sadness, and anxiety. His eyes were welling up with tears, and he was concentrating on not letting them fall. He felt sick to his stomach as Joey answered the door with a faint smile.
"Dawson," she said, and noticing his obvious discomfort, her face fell. She stood in between Dawson and the doorframe, not willing to let him in. Dawson could see the pain and the fear in her eyes. She knew what was coming.
"Joey. I've been talking to my parents about this for the past three hours, and now I need to talk to you," he stammered, looking her in the eye and reaching for her hand. She drew it back, guarded, eyeing him suspiciously, a tear trickling down her cheek. "I… I can't let this opportunity get away from me, Jo" he said. "USC film school is my dream. Movies are my life. You know that." Joey stared at him coldly, choking back tears.
"I thought I was your life," she spat out. She rolled her eyes and her lips curved into a hateful, sarcastic half-smile. "But obviously, I was wrong. I'm not good enough for you. The convict's daughter just can't compare with some pretentious, hot shot Hollywood pipe dream." Dawson's brow furrowed and he felt a stab of fury. He remembered Mitch's words during the talk they'd had just an hour before. Don't let her make you feel guilty for pursuing your dreams, Mitch had told him. You're not wronging her, Dawson. I know you care about her very much, but don't let her paint you as the bad guy because she refuses to respect your decision. Before Dawson could control himself, he felt of the anger, all of the disappointment and pain from the previous summer up until that very moment come spilling out.
"You were my life, Joey. Until you dumped me like a sack of shit to be with my best friend. I know this is cliché, but I can't keep making you a priority when, to you, I'm only an option. And clearly not even your first option."
Joey smirked snidely, wiping the tears off of her face with the back of her hand before retorting, "Nice line, Elizabeth. I think I read that in a Sweet Valley Twins book in the fifth grade."
Dawson's nostrils flared in anger as he continued his rant. "Dammit, Joey!! You know, I can't believe you're even putting me in this position. Asking me not to go to college because you don't want to lose me?? Have you lost your fucking mind?! You're like this perpetual victim. You can't possibly be happy for me because you're so preoccupied with how this affects YOU." Joey stared at him with her mouth open in surprise. She'd never seen Dawson so outraged, displaying such raw emotion. "And how dare you… how dare you, refer to my life's passion as a 'pipe dream?" He took a deep breath and tried to regain some his composure before speaking again.
"And finally, Joey, I honestly can't fathom why the idea of my proverbial departure from your life scares you so much. Because you lost me a long time ago. The minute you left me to be with Pacey, you lost a part of me that you can never get back." With that, he locked his eyes with hers, gleaming with fury and stinging with tears. "Goodbye, Joey," he said quietly, turning and walking back to his Explorer. As soon as he was safely within the confines of his car, with the doors shut and locked, he bowed his head, resting it on the steering wheel. The music from the Dave Matthews Band Live In Central Park CD that Joey had given him for his birthday swelled through the speakers, drowning out his sobs.