She drove to the race track just outside of Utoland. She didn't know what to expect, but she still was feeling agitated from her findings earlier that day.
She had left it a few days and, after not being able to contact him, then decided to contact the offices of the two road side assist companies in Utoland. Neither had heard of a Joe Asakura. She even went down there just to make sure that the person on the phone wasn't new and may just not know him.
He was never on their books, never employed by either company…
One man had heard of the race car driver Joe Asakura, but told her he had not raced at all in the past four years, so she that's when she decided to head out to the tracks, to see what she would find.
She walked around for a while observing the casual atmosphere, the sounds of the race cars on the track and the cheers of the crowds. Finding herself enjoying the contrast to her normal life, she wondered why he had seemed to avoid taking her there.
She had opted for very casual clothing; jeans, a pale cream t-shirt, sneakers and a black jacket with simple jewellery. She wanted to avoid standing out too much in the crowd. She had learned from searching for her father to blend in to the environment if you want good information.
She decided to take a seat in the stands when she overheard a conversation a group of girls were having near by…
"Oh, you know I've slept with a few drivers, but Joe Asakura… ohhh" she said as if she was reliving a dream. "He was such a good lover…" Madeline didn't look behind her at the girl, but her body stiffened a little, and she continued to listen.
"Really?" one of the other girls was saying. "I have heard he's something special… Not the commitment type though, he never stays around long... Still he knows how to show a girl a good time in that trailer of his." The statement was followed by some giggles. "Well I haven't had my turn, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. He may not race much at all now but he's still hot."
Madeline turned around at that last statement and tried her best to act casual and not hit the girl. "Excuse me ladies" She asked and gave them a friendly smile. The best she could muster up, the Barbie blond one who was doing all the boosting smiled back.
"Yes?" she said, Madeline asked her a question "I heard you mention Joe Asakura, and I was wondering if you could tell me were I could find him? I'm doing an article on race drivers who have gone into retirement and one of the mechanics told me I could find him here?" "Barbie" pointed toward the southern side of the race track.
"He lives just outside in a trailer just over there. Better watch yourself lady, he's a really stud muffin!" she said before collapsing into giggles. "Oh, I think I can take care of myself…" She sweetly replied, "…bitch!"she muttered under her breath.
Madeline turned and started walking away before she had the chance to slam the Barbie look-a-like, she went and got in her car and drove over to the southern outskirts of the race track.
She turned up a temporary dirt track to the trailer that stood on it's own near some trees, got out of her car, walked over and knocked on the door.
When there was no answer she sat and waited. He had some answering to do and she had to know.
As she waited for him, she began to think about her father again and wondered were he could be. The last meeting she had with him was strange; it was the one that really prompted her to start to look for him in the first place.
It was the day after her grandmother was buried; she was walking through a small park when she noticed a man standing near one of the tall trees out of the way. I took her a moment to realize it was him as she hadn't seen him for two years. She walked over to him and realized why, he was wearing a red uniform. There was someone with him and he indicated for her to follow.
In the park there was an old, fallen down, shack that was rarely visited by anyone. It was overgrown with vines. He suddenly looked old to her, like something had happened to age him dramatically.
"I'm sorry about grandma…" He started to say almost like he was lost for words. "I'll miss her, she loved me so much," she replied stopping short of saying that she felt like she had no other relatives around her.
"Are you coming home father? Please tell me you are, you never tell me what you do, why all this secrecy for so long?" It spilled out, and she was desperate and feeling alone and almost like a little girl again.
He put his hands on her shoulders and looked in her eyes her for a moment.
"It's for your protection I do this, it always has been. I told you those years ago when you went to live with your grandma…" He hesitated for a moment and then continued.
"Anything that I have ever done was for you and your mother… I didn't want to disappear from your life completely, my Captain and Oniishi made that sacrifice, I could not." His voice almost sounded like he was pleading with her to understand his reasons.
"There is something I have to do. I can't explain it now, but you must leave here and go live in Utoland.I have a contact there…" He stopped for a moment as if concidering something.
" When the danger has passed, I will find you… and if I can we'll spend some real time together. I'm sorry I was not a better father to you. I love you Madeline… you look so much like your mother." She could hear the emotion in his voice as he embraced her and saw the tears. Then he left, as he always did. She only ever saw him for a few moments at a time.
It was the next day, after that meeting, that she decided to track him down, damn it! She tried to understand why she had to sit around and wait for her father to come and see her. She had no other living relative and she needed to know why he left her for all those years.
So her search began with the United Nations military fighter pilots…
She found her mind drifting back to reality, where she was and why she was there. She hoped he would turn up. The men in her life always seem to lead two lives. Joe seemed to be no exception.
It had been a difficult week for Joe...
The team was operating on very little sleep, and they had virtually not left the cliff mountain base at all. It was good to be out in the fresh air and he intended to get some rest, and then go into the city and see Madeline.
He needed to freshen up a bit more first; he was still angry with Ken about the hyper-shoot weapon and the effects it seem to be having on him. Joe felt that his body could handle it, he wasn't sure if Ken's body could, but he was insisting on using the unstable weapon.
Then there was the new ship the Gatchapsartan.
They did need the new ship; their enemy has proved that to them through the loss of the God Phoenix, but it was taking some getting used to. The extra training they did to get the assemble times up was tiring them all out.
He still missed his old G-2 from the first war that transmuted when he did. It did make his personal life much easier than having to go to the base first and then hook up into one ship. The fact that his cover was blown along time ago, he wasn't even thinking about that for the moment, it was getting dangerous for both him and Ken to be away from the base.
Then there was the dream he had a few nights ago…
The beautiful sound of gentle, light music drifted to his ears, the soft notes, trills, and harmony conveyed emotions by the artist that made him yearn for the light… and to be alive, he clung to it as you would a life raft at sea…It touch his soul and became a part of it… and then it suddenly stopped.
He felt his heart sink as he waited for it to start again. A sense of longing struck deep into his heart.
"You know he can't hear you playing that flute, don't you?" Dr Raphael's voice was talking to her again.
"I know" she responded "but still…" Her voice trailed off. "I'm not much use here anyway, so I may as well entertain him. You did say that the brain does respond to sounds didn't you… especially music? So I figured if I play to him it might help with the repair work you have been doing in his head." A chair moved and the voice became a bit further away.
"I have to leave tomorrow Doctor. I've already been here to long. I still have to search -" she was cut of by the Doctor.
"Yes I know, you have been a great help to me lass, I have all this work to do on him yet. You could stay and be my assistant?" He offered.
"I…I'm not qualified for that. I'm just a musician. If what you explained to me yesterday works he will have a life after all."
Dr Raphael grunted. "Well, the only reason he is breathing at all is because of the life support machine… and I figured out pretty quickly that you were not an engineer."
Her lightly accented voice grew closer and it sounded like she was talking only to him. "I hope you recover from this… who ever you are. You know I don't even know the colour of your eyes. You have a handsome face though, do you get told that often by girls?
I'm leaving you some music for you to listen to… all our favorites; Beethoven, Mozart and Tchaikovsky. Why I had these in a backpack I don't know… they were really not good baggage for trekking through mountains."
He thought he felt hands running through his hair, a light kiss on his lips." I hope we meet again someday. If we don't, you have a wonderful life you hear? I hope you meet someone who will love you… we all need to be loved by someone."
And then he woke up. He had sat up in his bed as if someone had thrown an icy cold bucket of water over him.
That voice… it sounded like… Madeline.
He put on the radio in a bid to distract his thoughts;
Don't ask me…What you know is true…
The first thing he saw when he pulled up at the trailer was her car.
What was she doing here?
He swallowed hard; he needed to talk to her he could not ignore his gut feeling on this.
He pulled up, got out his car and walked over towards her.
I…I was standing…You were there…Two worlds collided…
Madeline stood up and gave him a level look that told him there was about to be a confrontation and his levels of caution heightened.
"Joe, what's going on?" She asked in a dangerously quite voice. "I know you don't work for Road Side assistance, so don't give me that bullshit." She'd moved a little closer to him with her arms folded and she was angry in away he had never seen before.
And they will never, ever, tear us apart…
Joe knew he'd been caught out in that lie. "Madeline… I… I… It's hard to explain. My life is a little more complicated than you may think" He tried to explain.
She smiled and let out a small, frustrated laugh and tilted her head to the side. She looked away for a moment and then snapped her head squarely back at him. Joe waited to hear what else she had found out about him.
"Complicated?" She questioned and shook her head "Because you are such a "stud muffin" around here? It must be hard to fit it all into your schedule between the girls at the track and me? Then there is the thing about what you do in your spare time." she was getting angrier now, and he just stood there with a look of disbelief on his face.
He began to feel anger swell in him, and wondered who she had been talking to. He could tell that she did not trust him like she used to, and he was trying to find a way to rectify it.
"Madeline, I have been racing here for years -" But she cut him off with one look.
With a harsh tone in her voice she said "There is something you're not telling me here Joe, I was told from several people that you have not raced here for years! I've had men cheat on me; one even hit me when I broke it off with him after I caught him in the act. Don't look so shocked Joe, because I found out that you lied to me!"
Joe found some calmness in his voice as he registered what she had just told him. "I would never do that to you… I have never cheated on you…who told you that I did anyway? And I would severely maim any man who hit you" He meant every word, he even wanted to track down the one who hit her; there was a feather shrunkien with his name on it. He was shocked at hearing this. She had not really said anything about past relationships.
"It's OK; I can take care of myself. I'm not so hopeless simply because I play a flute in an orchestra. But you're still not talking to me Joe. What is it you really do? Is it something illegal?"
She stood there staring at him; waiting for him to answer. But he knew unless he told her about the team and that he was fighting Galactor he could not explain it… and he knew he could not do that. Frustration at the life he led began to rise up in him.
"Fine" He spat back at her, his own emotions rising; the day's earlier events, and her accusing him of cheating among other things, did not help him keep his composure.
He loved her in way had not love any woman. He would never cheat on her, but he was about to lose her anyway.
"Since we are after truths here… what were you doing at Cross Karakoram about six years ago?" That stopped her in her tracks… and by the wide eyed look she gave him, he knew he had hit the mark. There was no denying it now.
"What?" She said quietly. "What do you mean by that? What is it to you anyway if I were in the Himalayas?" her voice growing hoarse. At that question, he could see from her expression the wild thoughts running through her mind.
"Now look who's avoiding answering questions Madeline Chauviteau?"
Joe's could feel his face harden to an expression that he held when going into battle and an almost frightened look crossed her eyes, and then they darkened and became a reflection of his as he stepped in closer to her.
"If you must know, I'm not hiding anything from you. I was there about six years ago looking for my father, and all I found there was a lot of pain. I told you my father disappeared around that time, I only know that he was a fighter pilot for the UN and went on a special assignment. The last time I saw him he was in a red uniform and had another man with him dressed the same. I tracked him as best I could for months and it led me there… all you had to do was ask"
Joe saw the pain in her eyes, but still he pushed on… "Oh? And what of Dr Raphael? What was your association with him?" She gave him a look as if to say "are you for real?" But he continued to push for more information.
"How do you know him? I met him only for a short period of time by accident. Joe, you better start talking to me about you!" She threw it back at him. "I'm not lying to you here, but you have been to me haven't you? You still haven't answered any of MY questions." And she started walking at a fast pace towards her car.
Joe watched her walk away for a moment, and then he ran after her and took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Madeline, I…I… Please, you have to believe me, those girls who hang around here are pretty good at boasting…"
He found himself pleading with her. "You're better than them… your not like any woman I have ever known." But she shrugged herself out of his grasp and got into her car.
He could see she was holding back tears. The pain he had caused her through his accusations, and his own emotions, were withering inside him from anger to desperation. He was still trying to find the words, which would not come.
"Right now Joseph Asakura… you're breaking my heart" Her voice cracked as she started the car and drove off, forcing Joe's hands out of the driver's side door and leaving him standing there watching the car speed down the temporary access road, throwing a plume of dust behind her.
Joe Asakura was not a man who cried often, from the experiences of war and life that he'd had since he was very young, there were few times in his life that the pain was ever that much.
But this was one of those times.
Coarse tears ran down his dusty face, leaving tracks. He walked back to his trailer and stood looking at the side wall. The last song he heard as he drove up the dirty track played in his mind as if the singer was sending him a message,
We could live…For a thousand years…But if I hurt you…I'd make wine from your tears…
He threw an angry fist into the side of the trailer, heard things crash inside from the impact, and again hit the side wall denting the panel; more things crashed inside. He kept hitting the trailer side and it rocked violently from the impact.
He didn't care, He was losing her as he had lost so many people he had loved in his life. At least he hadn't lost her to Galactor, the random thought went through his mind but it was no comfort to him.
He kept hitting the side, bruising his fist. But Joe did not feel the pain in his hand, only the pain in his heart.
The only way he could possibly keep her in his life now was to tell the truth, and that really could tear them apart.
So could his suspicions; that he thought she worked for Galactor. But he knew it couldn't be true.
She saved his life six years ago; her music gave him something real when he wasn't and he had clung to it in the darkness, her voice when the world was dying around him.
He sank to the ground as the pain, that started to set into his hand, rendered him to an unconscious state.
He didn't know how long he slept there, and was woken by his Ken on his wrist band calling him to the cliff side base. Reluctantly he dragged himself to his feet and stumbled towards his car.
I told you…That we could fly…'Cause we all have wings…But some of us don't know why…
Lyrics from Never Tear us Apart by INXS.