FIRST OF ALL: I'm soooo sorry for the wait, but I had a writing block (as u kno), and I had hw from every teacher for every day of this week. I just managed to finish quick enough to get sum time to rite the next chapter.

SECOND OF ALL: I'd like to thank my (non-fanfic-registered-or-at-least-i-don't-think-so) friend, Maggie, for supporting my story nd telling me to update.

THIRD OF ALL: I'm listening to every kind of song there is rite now, so my writing might change moods throughout the chapter.

FOURTH OF ALL: OMG I LUV U MINA! I dedicate this chapter to: Furubafun24. Ur review is being used for my next few chapters. So THANKS!

FIFTH OF ALL: For those who didn't get the "woman" part, (namely Tecna), I meant that…well I don't really kno wut I meant by that, but mostly that she may have lost a childhood, but that makes being a woman all the better for her. I also meant that she has wut define most true women—motherhood. So wut I meant by that she was a woman was that she was like Robin's surrogate mother in a strange, yet loving kinda way. Does that cover it? If not, just leave me a review telling me wut u didn't get. But for now, READ ON!

Chapter 6: Reprehensible

We compliment each other. I lost a childhood. He lost his parents. I play the role of the parents he could never have, and seeing him makes me feel like I haven't missed a thing. And I haven't. I love all the childlike fantasies. I'm like the baby that just learned to crawl around the house. I love to watch flowers blow in the wind. I may be half demon, but I feel strong motherly instincts towards anything fragile and childlike. It makes me want to cry; but I don't know if it's with sorrow or happiness. But I like being so complex. I'm not a teenager, no. I may be sixteen, but I'm a woman. Not a young woman. I'm a woman. And I like it that way.

I finally find my voice.

"Robin?" My voice reaches his ears with that strange motherly tone.

"Hmm?"

"I'm a woman."

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Dinner went by rather curiously. Cyborg had ordered the Meaty Meat Lover's Special for his pizza, cheese for me, cheese and pepperoni for Robin, and bananas, pickles, and mint frosting for Starfire (along with a side order of mustard). But nothing but a Meaty Deal pizza for Beast Boy. Naturally, Beast Boy revolted against the vile act. He tried to kick Cyborg with as much as guts as he could muster, and ended up kicking himself in the face, instead. Of course everyone else laughed at him, but Starfire mistook it for a surprise invasion from the 'Martian pigs'. Growing frantic, she fired her starbolts in despair and blew a hole straight through the middle of Cyborg's Meaty Meat Lover's Special Pizza. At this (which Cyborg didn't realize to be Starfire), he blamed the green titan, who received yet another blow in the face. Beast Boy tried to punch Cyborg again, and this time succeeded, but ended up nearly crippling his hand against Cyborg's metal exterior.

So now Beast Boy was warming up his tofu, and Cyborg was ordering another pizza for himself. Starfire was switching between apologizing to Beast Boy and Cyborg for her misunderstanding.

Leaving just Robin and myself—not a good thing.

I need to say this. I saw him the other day. Well, heard him, first. Talking to Starfire. He's…lonely. Nothing more than that. Nothing short of it. I'm not really anyone; I'm a teddy bear, his comforting committee.

Obviously, he went to Starfire seeking consolidation from the Tameranean. And so the young woman listened with an open mind and heart to his lonesomeness and gave her words of reassurance to the boy. Starfire did nothing wrong. She just listened to his words, unaware of her leader's ongoing relationship with me.

And a kiss ensues—on Starfire's part. The way hugs from me mean absolute condolence, a gentle kiss means the same for Starfire. Because of this, I feel no rage, no jealousy towards the sweet girl. She has no clue of the association between him and me and it's just an act of kindness.

But when Robin returns the kiss, I know something has suddenly gone amiss. It's not a real movie kiss, but it's still a kiss. Doesn't he remember that I'm who he claimed to have loved?

Apparently not, for he deepens the kiss, only to have Starfire to pull away. The girl is not as naïve as I thought, so it surprises me when she says:

"Have not you promised the 'forever' with Raven?" And the quizzical look and the way she cocks her head shows that she's bemused.

The next sentence comes as an even greater surprise—but for vastly differing reasons. "I never said that, Star." I feel the muscles holding my mouth slack, and my jaw drops. I could almost love Starfire for her next sentence:

"But Robin, you have promised Raven something deep, and I will not intrude no matter what. I love Raven like a sister, and I would never harm her." She pauses, and her eyes assume a lime green shade of fury. "And if you do anything to harm her, I will show you what I am capable of! You will not harm Raven!" Robin raises his hands in defense. And Starfire resumes a normal stance.

"So…you don't like me?" Starfire sighs, and her eyes lose their emerald glow.

"I do, Robin, but Raven is—" Robin cuts Starfire off and I feel my heart breaking from the inevitable line he is about to utter.

"Starfire, I love you." Starfire's eyes widen to double their size. "You…do? But what about Rav—" "Don't worry about Raven."

Starfire lowers her eyes to the floor, and not lifting them up answers Robin. "Robin you are lonely, not in love." Robin's eyes widen, and he realizes the naïve teenager is right in her perception.

"So…" Starfire sighs once more, and raises her eyes to meet the boy's mask. "No, Robin, I will not let myself love you. Goodbye." And with that said, she turns around and out the door, leaving the internally bewildered teen at a complete loss for words.

I feel Robin's eyes on me, and his gaze breaks me from my reverie, and unknowingly brings me back to the task at hand.

"Robin what are you doing here?" the question comes out seemingly pointless—worthless beneath the more primary priorities of the world. But any fool would know.

"I live here. Why?" My eyebrows furrow with obvious disappointment at his failure to recognize the seriousness—I really need to meditate.

"Robin, you know exactly what I mean. Why are you here, with me? Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you with me, in love with me, why are you here?" Pregnant pause; loaded silence. "Why do you love me? What did I do to deserve this? Why is it that I'm so afraid of your love? I don't need you or want you, not like this! Why do you love me? I'm not beautiful, I'm not open, I'm a freak! Why not go out with Starfire?" That specific sentence comes out so deeply bitter. "Why does it have to be me?" All eyes on me, but my senses fail me—I fall into oblivion.

My voice falls to a deathly whisper now. Robin leans forward to grasp the barely audible words. "I'm not beautiful. And you have no reason to love me. I don't want love if it's for the sake of loneliness. If I was beautiful? Would you love me for anything more than that? If it's inner loneliness…I don't want love like that. Just…leave me alone."

"What are you talking about?" The numbness evaporates from my senses and I can detect a hint of annoyance and anger in his voice.

I, myself, find the slightest suggestion of anger making its presence clear. I feel anger consuming me, and I try to run away from the piercing stares of my peers. But anger is already within my mind, and I can see Logic scrambling away in fear. Anger touches my ever corner, filling every nook and cranny and space and gap. Anger's power grows, and I find the barren wastelands of Nevermore inundated in crimson red.

Robin gets up and yells at me.

"I don't even know what you're talking about!"

"Oh really, now?" My voice is changing slowly, more, as Anger rapidly gains power.

"Yeah. You're a nutcase, you know that, Raven? I don't know why I even liked you to begin with!"

"You don't love me! You just need someone to hold onto, someone to talk to. Get a therapist if you need that, not me!" Robin falls silent. He's not stupid, he can take a hint. And some hint that was.

"Do you get it! Do you finally get it? What were you doing, playing with me! Robin, you're a jerk—a cold, heartless, selfish jerk if you think you can do that to someone."

"Rav—" I hear the sorrow in his voice, the yearning to apologize—he knows he's done wrong. But I'm not finished. Not yet.

"And one person isn't enough for you? You think that you can go and do that to Starfire! You know she's still getting accustomed to Earth ways, and you still go and try to play with her heart?" At this point, tears begin their path down my ashen skin, and Anger has been locked up by my other emotions.

Starfire's surprised gasp is perceptible, and Beast Boy lays a hesitant hand on her shoulder.

Cyborg just stands there; immobilized by the events taking place before his devastated eyes.

"Raven, I'm—"

"Save it, Wonder Boy! I don't care what you have to say. Not right now. I'll probably care later on, but not right now."

Robin reaches an arm out to grasp my cloaked shoulder, but I step away before he gets the chance. I pull my hood up over my head, as if to protect myself from my pained heart. I almost feel bad for him, because it was confusion that led him in this predicament. But his own confusion, so I remain steadfast in my decision.

Robin knows better than to speak now, he knows he's done something unforgivable in every moral sense.

I feel Robin's gaze on my retreated back as I head for the main doors. His gaze doesn't even break as the doors close behind me, and I can feel his sight on me as though he can see through the solid metal.

I feel the tears stream down my face again, and I collapse to the hallway carpeting. I allow myself to melt into the floor and reappear in my room.

I run for the thickest of my Azarathian tomes and pull the tiny cutting knife from its obscured location. I bring it to the weak and less concealed area of skin underneath my wrist; my palms facing up.

I let the cool blade touch my skin, and I briefly indulge in the calm coolness of the metal. The moment dissolves, for the heat of my skin thaws out the coolness of the steel, and I continue with the undertaking before me. In one quick motion, I swipe the sharp edge over my skin, which relents with ease. I watch in fascination, almost, as the small creek of scarlet liquid trickles over the curve of my arm and dives, without a second thought to the carpet below.

I observe as the material of the carpet absorbs the fluid, leaving only a red tarnish.

I draw my eyes from the stain on the floor and make my way to my bed. I stare at the sheets, the pillows, the cover, with disgust. They have been dirtied with His filth, and I never want to see it again.

I pull the thick comforter off, and throw it in a jumble on the floor. Next I throw the pillows, making sure they fall out of the pillowcases—I need to ventilate my anger. After that, I rip the clean, blue-gray sheets from the rim of the bed and pulling the entire mass off, I throw it to the floor, where it lands recklessly above the pile of discarded bedding.

I heave myself at the exposed mattress and sob uncontrollably. Now I feel guilty for 'hurting' the innocent bed linens. But I refuse to touch them. So instead I pull my knees closer to my chest and hug them to my body.

I once again allow my form to weld into the ground and re-emerge on the roof.

I feel my body re-form on the roof, and I instantly know I'm not alone. Nervously, I turn my head, but it's just Starfire.

I float next to her and permit my butt to land unceremoniously, yet quietly to the cool cement below me. She is sitting with her shins hugged to her chest, her arms around her thin legs, her chin resting on her knees. Without turning her head, she speaks.

"Friend Raven, I had no part in Robin's hurting you. I—"

"I know, Star. I heard you and Robin the other day." An awkward, but tolerable silence. "Thank you."

Starfire turns her head to me and smiles as her way of saying 'you're welcome'.

I find myself absently reaching out to her, and my arms envelop the flabbergasted girl in a hug. Without a moment's hesitation, however, her arms return the hug.

"I think of you as my sister, too." I smile at her, and she returns the act of kindness.

She turns her head back to face the sunset and I take the time to fully absorb her image, and for the first time I realize just how deeply beautiful she is. I never appreciated her for what she really was, but there's no point in apologizing now—I'm past that stage in my life.

So I turn my own head back to the sunset, and I stare blankly.

Finally, I fold my legs beneath me and levitate in the air. I chant my mantra of "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" out loud, and I don't need to open my eyes to know Starfire has just pulled herself into the lotus position. My prediction is affirmed when I hear her voice ring out next to mine, her mouth relaying the sacred mantra out loud, and I feel better.

o. m. g. I finally wrote this chapter! I didn't think I was ever going to, but it feels so good now. Thank you soo much to all of u guys, but I hope I don't lose my writing mood. And don't hate me for Robin being a lamo; all will be enlightened in the following chapters.

Til then, I bid u adieu.

Spunksterdawg