Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Thirteen: Robin Park
Rating: PG
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.
After a lot of arguing, yelling and sulking the outlaws finally settled down for the night. Charli had persuaded her mother to stay at her Uncle's, which meant they had the entire house to spread out in. Alan, Will, Little John and Djaq were camped out in her mum's room, the largest. Robin and Much had been given Charli's room, under strict instructions not to touch anything at all under the pain of death, and Charli and Tanya were to sleep in the spare room/drying closet, once all the clothes had been moved out.
The outlaws were so exhausted that they were practically dead to the world as soon as their heads touched the pillow. It was Robin who lay awake most of the night thinking about where they were and how they were going to get back. It was so late by the time he finally drifted off that it felt like he had only been asleep two minutes before it was time to get up again.
"SHOPPING!" The yell went through the house, waking everyone up.
"Wha - " Much muttered, sitting up.
Across the room, Robin mimicked his position, only with his sword out and ready to fight. Robin look round sheepishly as Charli popped her head around the bedroom door. "You shouldn't do that!" He protested, "I could have killed you!"
Charli scoffed and looked at him incredulously. "Yeah, right! I'll have you know I put up a good fight! Now get up!"
Alan, Will, Djaq and Little John were receiving similar treatment form Tanya. The girl had sneaked into the room and set her mobile phone alarm off just before Charli shouted.
It took some time but the outlaws eventually made there way out into the hallway, rubbing there eyes groggily and no one really knowing what they were doing or where they were going.
"Breakfast, anyone?" Tanya yelled. Much was suddenly feeling very awake.
"Ugh," Charli muttered, throwing herself onto the couch. "How anyone can eat at this time in the morning is beyond me!"
Much stared at her, amazed. "What do you mean? It's FOOD!"
"Well, Much, I'm not being funny but, I've known you less than twenty-four hours and I can already guess that you'll eat practically anything!"
"Hey, she really does sound like me!" Alan laughed. "I like this girl!"
"I, on the other hand, can get away with eating nothing!" She declared. "And thanks Alan. I think."
"Charli, get up! We have a lot of things to do, just because you don't want to eat doesn't mean that I'm cooking on my own for six men!"
"I wouldn't subject a rabbit to your cooking, Tanya," Charli hauled herself up and made her way to the kitchen. "What do you six men want for breakfast?"
"Five," Alan protested but then smiled at Djaq. Charli didn't know what was more disturbing, the fact that he had smiled at Djaq intimately or…yeah just that.
"Last time I counted, there was six", Tanya stuck her head out of the Kitchen, one eyebrow raised. "I did pass Math's, I'm pretty sure I can count."
Robin laughed and decided to take control of the situation when he realized that the girls had no idea what Alan meant. "Djaq is not a man…"
Charli burst out laughing, "That sentence sounded ridiculous!"
Djaq placed her hands on her hips and glared at Charli. "There is nothing 'ridiculous' about it! Robin is right! I am not a man! Shall I prove it?"
"No!" Everyone chorused at once.
Alan grinned. "Well..." he said. Djaq hit him on the arm, grinning too.
Charli, apron on and wooden spoon in her hand appeared next to Tanya. "Okay, it actually explains a lot," she said sensibly. "Tanya, I'm making Pancakes, can you get the syrup for me?"
"Pancakes? What are pancakes?" Much asked curiously as Tanya handed over the syrup. Everyone had piled in to the kitchen at this point to get a better look.
"Flour, egg and water," Charli called, "very simple and easy to make." She finished mixing the batter and turned the hob on. She poured a little into the pan, and the smell immediately began wafting towards the outlaws.
"Oh…wow…" Much drifted near to the pan and placed his head as close as was possible without burning his face. "Oh… wow…"
Robin rolled his eyes and ordered Much to leave the girls alone. "Let them get on with it!"
Charli pushed Much aside. "Wait!" She smirked, picking up the pan and flipping the pancake. Catching it in the pan she placed it back on the heat. "Go and sit at the table!"
"Hey did you see that!" Alan grinned. "It looked like Robin when he does one of his flips!"
Charli laughed, "It was a lot more graceful than one of Robin's flips. Trust me, I've seen him in action."
"You forget that I am armed," Robin said as the rest of the outlaws trudged out of the kitchen and along to the table.
"Not for long," Charli muttered as she deposited the pancake onto a warm plate and began cooking another one.
Tanya got up in Robin's face. "Was that another threat Locksley?"
Robin walked off, not wanting to get into a heated argument with the woman, and headed to the table muttering something along the lines of always being picked on by her and Charli. He noticed that the outlaws had managed to squeeze themselves around the table, each waiting to fill their extremely hungry stomachs.
"Isn't this quaint," Robin commented sarcastically.
"Shut it Locksley," Tanya came to stand beside him, grinning.
"That's the Earl of Huntington to you," he huffed. "No respect. I could have you flogged…" Tanya gave him a challenging look. "…Back in 1192 anyway…" He finished meekly.
"Try it and I'll sue your sorry ass so fast you'd wish you were never born."
The smell of pancakes now filled the kitchen and Charli had turned the radio on, so the faint dulcet tones of Elvis could be heard. "Dare I ask what that is?" Robin took a seat at the table. "And before you say it John, it is not witchcraft."
"Only the greatest King to ever walk on this planet!" Charli smiled, placing a plate piled high with pancakes on the table with a bottle of syrup. "Enjoy"
"King Richard?" Robin looked doubtful. He was starting to feel a little cranky.
"No, not King Richard" Tanya laughed at the now very blank look on Robins face.
"Elvis!" Charli turned the music up, dancing across the room to "Fever". The pancakes were forgotten for a moment as each outlaw stared at Charli in bewilderment. "Why do I get the feeling that what she is trying to do is dance?" Much muttered to Little John
"That's what it is," Tanya informed him, reaching for the first pancake and covering it with syrup before munching away. Charli, in her own little world, began tidying up the mess she had made. Will watched her, a small smile on his face.
Robin grinned as he too tucked into the breakfast. "Will?" He whispered. "If you want her to like you in return, I suggest that you close your mouth. It's not attractive, trust me."
Will snapped out of his thoughts and glared at Robin across the table. "You're one to talk. I've seen you watch her when you think nobody is looking. All of that petty arguing with Tanya? Who are you trying to kid? …Fool." The two men debated back and forth for a moment. Luckily Tanya had joined Charli to clean up and so the two girls did not hear the conversation.
"Right!" Charli turned back to them. "Are you ready to go shopping?"
"I want more pancakes!" Much protested.
"But you've had nearly of these!" Djaq stared in disbelief.
"Any more and we'll be carrying you around," John threw in!
"Correction" Alan stated, "You'll be carrying him around!"
"There will be no carrying of anyone!" Charli said. "And, you will leave your weapons here by the way."
The outlaws began to protest loudly and Tanya had to practically yell to be heard. "Do you WANT to be arrested?"
"It's worse than Nottingham 1192 here," Alan mumbled to himself. "Getting arrested for absolutely nothing, it makes me mad," he continued as he brutally stabbed his knife into a pancake and cut it to pieces.
Charli chuckled. "Sure Alan. That's why you would be arrested. For absolutely nothing! The staff at HMV wouldn't mind in the slightest if you walked in waving your sword above your head."
"Mind you - you wouldn't go to jail, they would shift you straight off to the psych ward!"
"Perhaps we should let Alan keep his weapons then?" Tanya grinned evilly, but stopped when a small piece of pancake flew across the room and landed on her nose. "Why you little sh-"
"If you even think about getting food on this carpet I'll use your weapons on you!" Charli cut in threateningly. "I already have to clean up god knows how much popcorn because Little John couldn't sit still last night"
Tanya laughed just thinking about last night's events. Watching Bond with these guys had been pretty amusing to say the least. "Right, you lot!" She clapped her hands together. "We go shopping to get you new clothes, then when we return, you each will a take a bath …because you basically stink."
"That's pleasant," Much protested.
"Actually its not!" Charli chucked Tanya's jacket in her direction and picked up her keys. "Same driving arrangements? Or should we take the bus?"
Robin perked up at her words. "Didn't you say the bus went to Sherwood Forest, yesterday?"
"Yes, if you get on the Sherwood bus, but we're not."
Robin looked grief-stricken for a moment. Charli nodded. "Sorry Robin. Different bus"
"I want to go to Sherwood," Robin complained.
"But we could... if you're good in the shopping center." Charli frowned. "Wow, I sound like I'm talking to my three year old son."
"You have a three year old son?"
"No…it's a figure of speech…forget it…let's move people."
"She has children?" Will asked as Charli shepherded them out of the door.
Tanya rolled her eyes as she followed Robin out, slamming the door behind her.
The two girls and the six outlaws, having piled into Tanya's Peugeot again, arrived at the shopping center some fifteen minutes later. This was going to be interesting, very interesting. In fact, their point was proven when Robin looked out the window at the massive sign above the main doors and got a little excited. "Look! This place is called Robin Park! Robin Park! After me no doubt!"
Charli tried desperately to think of another Robin, to save them the embarrassment of his head enlarging a further few inches. "No, sorry Robin. Its named after Robin Von Der Mannish," she quickly made up a name. He stared at her skeptically. "That's not a real name. It's named after me!"
Tanya glared at Charli. "You couldn't have said Robin Williams? What is wrong with you?"
"Sorry," Charli said quietly out of the corner of her mouth.
"I knew it!" Robin's head did swell. "I'm famous. I'm legendary! What I'm doing in 1192 IS for a good cause and WILL go down in history…"
Robin continued his speech whilst Alan looked at the other outlaws in surprise. "You'd think we didn't exist the way he speaks of himself. Like he does it all on his own!"
"It's the pancakes talking, I wouldn't pay any attention to him," Charli reassured them. "Anyway, my local pub at university is called 'The Merry Men'. You guys are remembered as well."
"Merry men!" There were a series of outbursts and protests.
"Well, that's new!" John almost laughed.
"I'm not being funny but that sounds a little bit…well, girly if you don't mind me saying." Alan scrunched up his nose as Tanya pulled the car into a space not far from the main doors. Robin was still yapping away to himself, most trying to ignore him anyway.
"Come on!" Charli jumped out of the boot of the car. "Lets go shopping!" She headed towards the door, dragging Will and John by the arms. "There are so many shops in this place, and Starbucks of course!"
They all headed in doors, the outlaws looking around in amazement at the sheer size and magnitude of the place. People seemed to be dashing here there and everywhere, going about their own business, not even taking a moment to notice the strange attire the men and now one woman were wearing.
"I can smell food," Much looked around. "Everywhere I go in this strange year, I smell food!" He moaned.
"Oh God." Tanya groaned. "Afterwards! We can eat afterwards! Now...where first?" Charli opened her mouth to reply. "No Charli! We can go in Ann Summers when we have gotten the clothes. Which CLOTHES shop shall we go in first? River Island?" She suggested as they moved to the escalators
"Gap?" Charli frowned. "Oooh, I know! Levi's!" Her face lit up.
Tanya smiled and stepped onto the escalator, forgetting about the outlaws for a second. "Levi's! Oh yes, Charli you are a genius!" She turned around to see the group was gathered at the bottom of the moving stairs, looking on in uncertainty.
Charli, stuck behind the six of them, called "Just step on it!"
"What are they?"
"Moving stairs!"
"WITCHCRAFT!" John shouted.
"Hush John. Its not witchcraft. Don't you know that by now?"
"Will," Charli called, just step onto it and hold onto the side. She pushed forward and took the mans had, pulling him onto the escalators. "I would rather not take you on the escalators one by one, so would you please follow me?" She called over her shoulder.
Robin took a step; Alan and Djaq held hands and bravely stepped onto the moving stairs. Much followed. Little John hesitated, and then stepped onto it. The others had made it to the top, but Little John had only gotten half way when he froze and looked behind him. His eyes widened in horror at what he saw causing him to whirl around and attempt to dash back down again.
"No John! Stop! Robin, he's going to hurt himself!" Tanya called out, looking at Robin for help. They watched the large man trying to desperately get back down. "Either that or someone else."
"John!" Robin shouted in frustration. "Stay still!" Alan appeared to be laughing but was stopped by an abrupt jab in the ribs from Djaq. "Ow."
"Somebody's going to have to go and get him," Charli rolled her eyes. They had only been here for two minutes and already things were falling apart.
"Not me!" Alan and Much said together.
"Charli, thanks for volunteering," Tanya smiled sweetly.
"I'll help," Will offered.
"Come on then!" She took his hand and pulled him down the descending escalator. She ran round to the ascending set and got back on it, pulling Will alongside her.
"Hey John!" She said amiably, as she turned around and began walking down as he ran. "What's the matter?"
"Witchcraft!" The panicked man said. "Witchcraft, Witchcraft, Witchcraft."
Charli bit her tongue and took a deep breath. "All the more reason to get off this thing John. Now, if you'd just stop walking, we'll be off in no time." Will nodded quickly in agreement
"Stop walking?" He stood still in astonishment at her words.
"Yes. See?"
John looked down at his feet and was amazed to find that he wasn't going to die and was actually moving upwards towards the rest of the gang. "This isn't so bad," he said cautiously. When he reached the top, he started walking backwards again.
"John, you have to step off...Tanya, Robin, pull him off, will you?"
It took some strength but the two managed to grab him and pull him off and finally away from the escalator. "Nice team work," Robin smirked, as he looked Tanya up and down suggestively.
"Don't push your luck and don't look at me like that." She began to walk away.
"Like what?" He threw his hands up in the air in defense as he hastily followed her.
Charli rolled her eyes. "Flirt later you too. Let's move! People are staring!"
"Hey! I wasn't flirting, it was him!" Tanya stopped in her tracks, causing Robin to crash straight into her back.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Charli grinned. She was still holding Will's hand. "Look, Levi's is just there. Lets go!"