Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Fourteen: Men in Tights
Rating: PG
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.

Tanya pulled her face as she followed Charli and Will to the Levi shop. Robin jogged up besides her again and tried to take her hand too, but she quickly swatted him away.

"What?" He protested. "They get to hold hands!" Tanya shook her head at the absolute cheek of the guy.

Robin, looking utterly dejected, fell back to walk with Much. "Has my master just been REJECTED!" Much laughed.

Robin sneered at him. "Shut up. Or I will shoot you. Friend or not."

"Yes, but may I point out that you haven't got your bow," Much said to the sulking man, causing him to brood further.

"Well, I'll just have to find one of those…shiny…black looking things that James Bond uses and shoot you…same idea…" Robin tried but knew he was defeated.

Much laughed. By this time, the outlaws had entered the jeans shop, and were being approached by a very camp sales man. "Can I…" He trailed off mid-sentence after looking the strange group up and down warily, "…help you?"

"Yes, we're going to be needing…um…" Charli looked around. "Djaq? You wouldn't happen to want a dress would you?"

"Certainly not!"

"Just checking…well...six pairs of jeans should do it."

"Certainly." The sales man looked the outlaws up and down again. "If you - gentlemen - would like to come with me, ladies, would you care to browse our ladies section?"

"I always forget how posh this place is," Charli whispered to Tanya.

"Oh no! Tanya smirked at the assistant. "This we want to watch! We will sit over here! Show us everything!"

The salesman nodded and motioned for the outlaws to follow him…no one moved. Tanya rolled her eyes and stepped towards them, giving them a small push in the right direction. "Babysitting," she mumbled as her and Charli took a seat.

It was extremely amusing and entertaining to watch each of the guys in turn being measured up. The salesman obviously found Robin very attractive, and had to re-measure him several times. Robin was getting more and more flustered, and kept sending desperate "help me" looks over to a hysterical Tanya and Charli

"Oh I wish I had my camcorder. The money I could make catching Robin Hood being felt up on camera!" Tanya bent over double laughing.

"You should go help him." Charli laughed harder.

"No way man!"

"Aww, go on! Pretend to be his girlfriend and act all jealous and shit!"

"I can't! He'd love it too much, and I'd hate that."

Robin was still looking over for aid but there was no way she was getting up to lend a hand. As striking as she found the man, he was going to pay for trying to take her hand a moment ago. He presumed far too much and definitely needed bringing down a peg or two.

"Don't give him the satisfaction! Besides, you wouldn't want to spoil the others guys fun would you?" Tanya nodded towards the rest of the group who were in hysterics also.

There was only so many times that the shop assistant could get away with measuring Robin, and soon it was Little John's turn. After each man had been measured individually, they each given a pair of blue jeans and sent into the dressing rooms to try the trousers on.

"Can you give Will black jeans?" Charli's question earned her a snake eye stare from the sales assistant.

"If you wish." He exchanged the jeans for a darker pair. Robin rolled his eyes not really caring much about the colour of the strange pants he was expected to wear. Will, Robin and the gang took the trousers and disappeared into the changing rooms. John was the first to appear in his jeans, and Charli had to duck behind Tanya to stop herself laughing out loud.

"Oh my word! Charli, don't be awful! Stop laughing!" Tanya tried to hold the laughter in too. Unable to say or do anything except shake with laughter, Charli made a noise that sounded like a cross between a guinea pig and a normal pig.

"Look, Charli! Will!" Charli stopped laughing suddenly when Will stepped, a little uncertainly, from out of the changing room.

"Holy crap!" Her eyes widened and she clutched Tanya's arm. "I think I'm gonna faint Tan!" She said weakly as Will walked over to them. "Look at his...his…oh shit!"

"Out with it Charli, his arse!"

Tanya couldn't help but look too; he did look pretty darn good as he headed over to them. At least it hadn't taken him so long to put them on. The others seemed to be taking their time, whatever they were doing.

"Alan, I think those are on the wrong way round." Came Robin's amused voice from behind the curtain.

"No they aren't!"

"Yes they are," Much took up the argument. Will approached the girls nervously.

"Well?" Charli could do nothing but nod her approval, and Will grinned at the effect he was having on her. He took a seat next to her along with John to wait for the others. As he sat down, Alan was thrown out of the dressing room, and Robin's head appeared.

"Tanya, tell him he has them on back to front!" Tanya started laughing at Alan, who had indeed put his jeans on back to front. "See Alan. She's laughing!" The dejected young man trudged back behind the curtain to change his trousers.

"Are you guys nearly done?" Tanya asked. "Hey, Charli, wouldn't it be weird if they all jumped out from behind the curtain and started singing 'Men in Tights.'"

"Weird wouldn't even cover it. It would be scary!" Charli grimaced. "Not to mention embarrassing."

"Men in Tights?" Will asked, just before deciding that he didn't really want to know. Luckily, he was saved by the appearance of the rest of his friends.

Alan showed himself again, trousers the right way this time, followed by Djaq and then Much. Djaq, you could tell, felt slightly uncomfortable but smiled when Alan gave her a small wink. Much complained that they were too tight but it was probably only due to the amount of food he ate on a daily basis. Alan just looked typically good in them like any cute young man did. As a whole, they looked rather good; most importantly, they didn't stand out anymore.

"Where's Robin?" Charli asked. Much was about to answer when Robin waltzed out of the dressing room and straight over to a long mirror.

"Not bad if I may say so." He grinned as he twisted his head around and looked down to study his own backside. "Not bad at all." He studied himself for several moments before glancing up and catching Tanya's reflection staring at him. "You like what you see?" He smirked.

"No," Tanya lied. "You look ridiculous."

Robin turned and headed in her direction, ignoring the rest of the group as they asked Charli's opinion on how they looked. Tanya didn't know where to look; she tried to avoid his lean, muscular body as he swiftly approached her. "I don't look ridiculous, and you know it."

Tanya rose from the chair before he came any closer and headed for the door. "It's getting too hot in here."

"I knew it," Robin laughed as he jogged after her. "They do look good on me."

"Right guys," Charli rolled her eyes. "I'll cover the cost of these, you need to keep them on for now though. Then we'll quickly grab you a couple of t-shirts to wear too so we can be on our-" Charli was cut of mid-sentence when the store security alarm rang out.

The outlaws covered their ears in shock and not much could be heard except for the word 'witchcraft' which was more than likely to be little John again. Charli, ears covered too, glanced towards the doors to see Tanya dragging Robin back in by the scruff of his neck. Now that was amusing. She could just make out their words.

"If you'd just stay put and quit following me about everywhere-" Tanya yelled.

"Maybe if you'd just stay with me then I wouldn't have to follow you everywhere."

"I'm sorry. Did I miss something? Was there a rule made somewhere along the way stating that I had to stay by your side?"

"No, but I'm Robin of Locksley and you have to do as-"

"Oh shut up!" Tanya snapped as she punched him in the arm.

The group looked on in amusement, as the two were unaware that they were being watched. "They need to get a room," Charli shook her head.

"A room?" Will looked confused.

"Never mind," she smiled at him. "Right, let's pay and then get out of here."

"What about those two?" Alan thumbed over to the pair who were still debating near the door. Will shrugged and answered for her. "Maybe we could lose them somewhere?"

Charli laughed. "I think you and I are going to get on very well."