Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Sixteen: From Outer Mongolia
Rating: PG
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.
A/N: Greetings RixxiSpooks!! Thanks for your continued support!!! We are writing Chapter 28 as I post this, so plenty more to come!!!
"Yes Much, muffins and cakes and other things." Charli answered.
Again, the outlaws looked at her blankly, but she was spared another question when they reached the coffee house and Much could see the food for himself.
"Can we have a double shot espresso, Tanya? Guys, would you like to try some Coffee? And Much," she turned to the delighted man with his nose pressed up against the glass screen. "What food do you want?"
His eyes glazed over as he looked greedily at the variety of cakes and sweets. "Can I have one of each?"
"No Much you-" Charli was cut short suddenly when she spotted two very familiar looking men that sat also the in the coffee shop. "Oh shit!"
"What?" Tanya followed her line of sight, and quickly came to the same conclusion. "Oh shit."
Tanya looked around frantically, trying desperately to think of something to do: hide? No, too late. They had already been spotted.
"Tanya? Charli?" The two men got to their feet, and started to walk over. Charli tried, unsuccessfully, to hide behind Will.
"Bugger off, bugger off, bugger off," she muttered.
"Hey, you never told us you were heading out?" One of the guys said to Tanya.
"Neither did you," Tanya pointed out defensively, as the guy who had spoken to her slid his arm around her waist. Charli was receiving similar treatment from the red-haired man, who kissed her cheek as he greeted her. Both girls pushed the men away slightly. "Do we have to tell you everything we do?"
The outlaws looked uncomfortably at the newcomers, both Will and Robin glaring hostilely at the men.
"Yes," the guy talking to Tanya smiled. "Isn't that right Darren?"
"Well, after you put the phone down on us yesterday… It would have been nice of you to call back."
"We got distracted," Charli mumbled, her cheeks slightly red. She was avoiding Will's gaze, staring determinedly at the floor.
"Who are your new friends? Are they what was so important that you couldn't possibly speak to your boyfriend?" The redhead demanded. There was a silence.
Tanya, feigning cheerfulness, turned to the Outlaws. "Oh, haven't we introduced you?" She grinned. "Harry, Darren, this is John, Alan, Much, Djaq, Will and Robin. Guys, this is Harry and that's Darren." Four out of six of the outlaws greeted the men amiably enough, Will gave a weak smile but Robin just gave a stony, disagreeable stare. "They are exchange students, from, um… Outer Mongolia." Robin turned to Tanya and raised an eyebrow. As he opened his mouth to say something, Charli elbowed him in the stomach, causing him to gasp.
"Yeah, we are helping out the university for a while." She smiled sweetly.
"Helping at the uni, huh? Well, that's news to us," Harry said.
"Yeah, you stay as far away from the academic staff as possible when not in lectures or tutorials," Darren got in his two cents. The outlaws were lost by the conversation at this point. What was university? What was Outer Mongolia? Much went back to staring longingly at the cakes; the others half listened to the conversation. Will was now staring between Darren and Charli and Robin glared at Harry. If looks could kill, Harry would have been dead and buried.
Tanya noticed the way Robin was looking at Harry and it infuriated her to some extent. She found it flattering that he was acting the over-zealous boyfriend, but the fact of the matter still remained; he wasn't. Although, she still felt a little uncomfortable that Harry was here along with Robin…
"So you guys are from Outer Mongolia, huh?" Harry spoke loudly to them and broke the words down as if speaking to a group of three year olds.
"I am not," Robin said
"You are," Tanya said, her voice weighted
"I am not," Robin remained stubborn
"You are!" Tanya smiled at him dangerously.
"I am-ow!"
"You are," Charli pressed her foot down on his toe.
"I am," Robin agreed, a sour expression on his face.
"They are a little jetlagged, it's effecting their English." Charli tried to explain, causing Robin to glare at her, rubbing his toe against his leg. That had annoyed him!
He stepped forward suddenly, tight lipped and angry. "Who ARE you anyway!" He then looked at Tanya and hissed. "I do not like these two men!"
Tanya grabbed Robin's hood and pulled him backwards, a thing that both girls seemed to be doing a lot. "Shut up!" She too hissed in his ear. She then took his arm and pulled them both out of hearing range. "These two MEN, happen to be our boyfriends, so back off!"
"Boyfriends?" Robin looked confused. "What is a boyfriend?"
Charli sighed. "In your 'country'," she emphasized the word, "it would be almost the same as being betrothed." As soon as the words had left her mouth she knew that it was not a good thing to say. Betrothed to them would mean they were to be married. "Okay, maybe not betrothed, we aren't going to be married."
"You sure as hell don't sound like you're from Outer Mongolia!" Darren noted as the group moved over to the counter; much still had his face pressed to the glass counter, oblivious of what was going on around him. "In fact...I'd say you were pretty local if you ask me!"
"They just teach English well there. All outer Mongolian's are bilingual," Charli swore at herself. Why couldn't she have said they had come from an English speaking country? Like Canada? Or the middle of the Australian desert? No, she had to go and say Outer Mongolia.
"Um...we best be on our way", Tanya said, taking Charli's arm and pulling her away from the two men. "We'll phone you?"
"Hey wait a minute!" Harry grabbed Tanya's arm. "We don't see you for a few days and then you leave us so suddenly? With a group of funny looking men from the other side of the world no doubt." He eyed the outlaws warily. "I thought you were getting a coffee anyway? Why the sudden change of heart?"
Tanya had no answer for her boyfriend. Charli calmly detached his hand from her friends arm. "I wouldn't call them funny looking, if I were you." She warned. Luckily, Alan and Djaq had frog marched Robin out of hearing. "And what's it to you what we do? It's a free country. If we decide we don't want coffee, we don't have to have it."
The two guys looked on in utter shock when, together, the group walked quickly out of the coffee shop. "But I wanted a cake..." Much protested when Alan had to quickly run back for him.
"You'll have to wait until later," Alan tried to explain. "Believe me when I say that now is not a good time."
A silence fell between them. Robin stalked ahead, Will drifted along behind. Tanya and Charli walked together. They had walked no more than ten meters, when Tanya stopped walking and called out angrily to Robin.
"Alright, just what is your problem?"
Robin stopped dead. He turned and glared at her. "I already told you, I didn't like those two men."
Tanya walked toward him, threatingly. "And who the hell are you to decide whether or not you like them or whether you don't? Darren did nothing to hurt you, nor Harry!"
"Yes he did!" Was his next comment.
"What?" Tanya said in angry exasperation. "What did he do?" There was a small pause as Robin closed the gap between the two of them in two strides. He took Tanya by the waist and pressed his lips gently against hers. The outlaws and Charli stared in shock.
Tanya relaxed into arms for a moment, her mind swirling slightly out of control. His lips felt warm and soft against hers as he kissed her slowly; then her senses took over her. She pulled away and shoved him, doing the only thing that seemed right at the time. She slapped him.
"You ever do that again and I'll make personally sure you never have children Robin Hood!" Robin grinned at her.
Unable to stop herself grinning back, Tanya turned on her heels and stormed off before he could see her expression. Wide eyed, Charli followed her.
"Was not expecting that," Alan commented. "Not being funny, but I don't think she is very happy with you Robin."
Robin continued to smirk. "She kissed me back, you all saw it. I KNEW she liked me," he brushed a piece of lint of his clothing in a cocky manner before looking back at his friends. "Where did they go?"
The group looked around to find the two girls had disappeared from sight. Alan chuckled. "Let's go have some fun."
They headed to the nearest store, not having a clue what is what or what the store sold. "Do you think it is wise, leaving without Tanya and Charli?" Djaq enquired as she looked over her shoulder to see if they'd appear.
"What is this?" Alan gasped, disgusted, having ignored Djaq's comment. He picked up the nearest product and held it up. "What do you think?" He held the black (with fluffy pink trimming) bra and knickers set up against him.
"Looks very good on you," Much nodded his approval. "Although I have a feeling it is supposed to be for a lady…that's why it looks good on you."
Djaq let out a laugh that sounded more like a chock causing Alan to throw the under-garments back down in a strop.
"Hey," Robin grinned, picking up a piece of clothing marked 'sexy lingerie.' "What's lingerie?"
"Well," Little John spoke up. "I have no idea, but it says sexy on it, so maybe you can wear it."
Robin screwed his face up and advanced towards John. "Are you LAUGHING at me? I cannot help being 'sexy', as Tanya put it last night." He grinned. "Wish she'd come back," he wondered off into his own world.
Little John rolled his eyes. "We should probably leave this shop now. We are attracting odd stares, and we are the only males in here. With the exception of Djaq, of course."
Alan nodded his agreement, and they group left. The next shop they went in looked a bit more hopeful. At least it was called "Game" which sounded promising.
"Will," Alan hung back to talk to his best friend. "Are you alright? Your being quiet."
Will plastered on his best smile and tried to convince the man that he was fine when in truth he was not. Meeting Darren and Harry had bothered him as much as it had bothered Robin. "I'm just very tired…my brain hurts from having to take in this new world," he lied.
"I thought your brain always hurt." Alan teased. "So that's normal aint it?"
Will rolled his eyes and punched Alan playfully in the shoulder before the two men stepped into 'Game'. The store seemed to be filled with many shelves, filled with rectangular shaped boxes that had pictures on the front. "What the-"
"No idea." Robin cut his friend Much off before he could finish. "Let's have a look around though." He half ordered.
"Lord of the Rings," Much read, picking up one of the boxes. "Shrek Three. Happy Feet. Eragon. Pirates of the Caribbean. What the hell is all of this?" The man was talking to himself, as the others had already found the large TV, found in all game stores, on which customers could try out the games on offer. By chance, the game that was being previewed on the screen was 007: Casino Royale. The outlaw's crowded round the screen in awe as the figure of James Bond revolved on the TV. The menu flashed on the screen.
"What do you do it? How do you make it play?" Robin asked.
"Tanya had a box thing..." Alan said. "Like this," he picked up the Wii remote and waved it, pressing a button. The screen faded to black and the game began. "What did I do?" He gasped, dropping the remote.
"Give that to me!" Much appeared behind the others and snatched the remote up. "All you have to do is…" He began to press a few buttons as if he'd done it a million times before and the computerized image of Daniel Craig began to move around.
"Look Much!" Exclaimed Alan excitedly. "He only moves when you press that…thingy in your hand!"
"I, Alan-A-Dale, am a genius!" Much spoke out with a nod.
"That is a matter of opinion," Alan replied, snatching the remote from Much's hand again. The two began to squabble over the remote, while on the screen James Bond got shot six times and blown up four. As the screen faded to black for the tenth time, Robin, Will, Djaq and Little John left them to their argument.
"I want one of those black shiny things James has," Will said mainly to himself as they browsed more of the boxes upon the shelves. "The fun I could have with one of those, especially with Vaysey and Guy…and I need to stop calling it a black shiny thing, It must have a name."
Robin gave Will a pointed look. "Violent aren't we? I've told you many a time that it isn't the way, as much as I think they deserve a good beating from time to time."
"Robin's right," Little John nodded, picking up an "animal crossing" game and inspecting the back. "We aren't about Killing."
"And it's called a gun," Djaq stated. The outlaws looked at her in surprise. "What? Some people actually pay attention you know when watching a moo-vie."
"I tried," Robin protested. "But Charli and Tanya wouldn't shut up, and John kept knocking the popcorn everywhere."
"Speaking of which," John ignored the comment about the popcorn. "Where are Charli and Tanya?"
Robin and Will looked outside where a stream of people walked past in a hurry. "Maybe we should go find them before they have our necks." He looked over at Much and Alan who were still fighting over the games console. "Oi! We're moving! Let's go!"
"Robin..."Alan said, but his protests fell on deaf ears as the group began to move. Grabbing Much's arm, Alan hurried after them, not wanting to get left behind in the big world of Robin Park. The world of Robin Hood was hectic enough.
The front door to the flat rattled several times on the hinges before halting. "It won't open! It's stuck solid. And how do we know that this is even the right door!" Guy took a step back and looked around the hallway and all the other doors there.
"We don't Gisborne." The Sheriff was leaning against the wall inspecting his fingernails. "But if it isn't, we break into the next one. And we keep doing it, until we find the right door. Now come on! You've beaten the gates down to Nottingham Castle itself, this should be easy!"
Gisborne let out a long sigh of frustration. The fact that he was the one doing all the physical work again irritated him. It was so typical of Vaysey just to sit back and watch the world go by around him, waiting for somebody to bring Robin Hood's head on a plate to him. Robin Hood? The disgusting little weed of a man was going to get his comeuppance one of these days, and with that thought, he rammed his shoulder full belt into the door, knocking it in.
"Woops," he muttered, looking at the door, which was hanging on its hinges at a funny angle. The Sheriff clapped his hands.
"Well done!" He stepped past Gisborne and into the hall, leaving the disheveled, black clad man to follow him.
"What a weird looking house." The Sheriff picked up the phone from the side and turned it over in his hands, before putting it back down. "Weird, weird, weird."
"Forgive me for saying my lord," Guy spoke smoothly as he studied his surroundings. "But everything in this 'world' is weird."
Vaysey walked down the hallway and into the living room where he noticed the dirty plates still sat on the dining table from that morning. "Disgusting!" He grimaced. "Yes, Robin Hood and his band of filthy outlaws were definitely here."
"We know they were here," Gisborne pointed out. "We saw them come in here last night. What are we doing in here again?"
"We didn't know it was this building!" The Sheriff said in an exasperated voice as he wandered down the hallway. "This is a flat. More than one house." The concept was lost on Guy, who remained in the living room, inspecting the television and the other electronic equipment that had been shown to the outlaws the night before.
"Ha!" The Sheriff shouted from an unknown room. "Well, we have learnt one thing about them today, despite the fact that there are no maids here."
Gisborne dropped the DVD box, with a picture of a bulky blonde man on the cover he had been studying, to make his way into the other room. Vaysey held up a number of different items in his hand and Guy smirked knowingly.