Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Eighteen: Earth to Outlaws
Rating: PG
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.
"Where are we?" Will looked out of the car window at his surroundings. It had been dark now for nearly an hour, the strange modern town of Lockley lit up with lights everywhere. He found the whole thing rather daunting.
"Toby's is only two minutes away. Don't worry, Will," Charli reassured him. Will turned his head quickly and looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips. "I'm not worried."
Charli smiled back, before forcing herself to look back at the road. "Yeah. You seem to be taking all of this pretty well. Better than Little John, anyway"
Will chuckled and looked back out of the window again, not missing the way Charli had blushed slightly when he had looked at her. He liked her, as he had told her only earlier that day, there was no doubt of it. He had hoped to God that it had not been to soon and that he was not going to scare her away. He had honestly felt somewhat relieved when she had returned his feelings.
"You're just going to laugh?" Charli grinned, changing gear. "Your not going to tell me why it is you haven't had as much problem settling in as Witchcraft man?" She swerved to avoid a parked car, the driver of which had decided to open his door just as she overtook it.
Will made a quick grab for the dashboard and cursed. Charli giggled, apologizing profusely. Once they'd settled back down again, Will glanced over at her, studying her features from the side as he spoke. "As much as I find this place…strange, I am not as easily spooked as John. Forgive me for saying that I am a little more open minded than he is. I believe that everything happens for a reason…"
"That's a good belief to have," Charli smiled, aware of him studying her. "Especially when you're picked up and dumped in another time. Who have you left behind in 1192? Parents? Siblings?" She left the question of 'wife' unspoken, hoping he would pick up on it.
"I have a younger brother, Luke. I left him behind with my father. I have no others." He looked slightly pained for a second. "I'm hoping they'll be okay, I do worry about them though. It is very hard not to. The times are extremely tough at the moment, worse than they have ever been."
Charli's heart went out to the young man. "I know…people used to think that Robin Hood and his men were legend. I guess now we know it's true…."
"Luke must be proud of you. Knowing that you fight the way you do. That you help people." She continued, taking her hand of the wheel to squeeze his.
Will looked down at her hand as she took his, distracted for a moment. It was awfully nice of her to be saying the things she was. He couldn't actually recall anybody being so kind. "Thank you," he smiled. His smile then turned into a grin. "So…what does legend say about Will Scarlett then?"
"Well, that depends which version of the legend you read," Charli grinned. "In a few, Will Scarlett is actually Robin Hood's half brother, and when Robin first join's the gang he hates him." She quickly looked across to see his reaction to this.
Will's head shot around in shock. "Brother!" He began to laugh when the idea actually sunk in. "Although, I could easily see myself hating him," he joked.
"I think Tanya could as well," Charli giggled. "Is he always like that?" She referred to Robin's stubborn behaviour as she pulled her hand from Will's to change the car's gear yet again. She placed her hand back into Wills.
"You have no idea," Will rolled his eyes, but not missing the way of how comfortable her hand felt in his. "Although, I must say, as arrogant and self assured as he is, he's not usually so…forward, with women."
"It must be the pancakes," Charli grinned. "I'll make something else for breakfast tomorrow. We'll see if it makes any difference to him. Now, in the other legends..." she paused. "In the other legends, you were the ladies man of the group, and Robin just the quiet Outlaw who thought for his people..." She grinned, definitely wanting to see his reaction to this particular fact.
Will blinked several times, not believing for one moment what she had just said. He may have been wrong, but he was certain for a brief second that there had been a small hint of flirtatiousness in her voice. He shrugged and went along with her. "Legends may be true." He grinned wickedly at her.
Charli nearly crashed when she saw the intense look he was directing at her. She had never seen this side of Will before, but she definitely liked it. She gasped, trying to regain control of the car, wrenching her hand from his to struggle with the steering wheel.
"Well, they do say legends are based on fact," She smiled when the car was back to travelling in a straight line.
Pulling up on the drive way, Charli stopped the car. "We're here." She pressed the catch on Will's seatbelt, the outlaw unsure of how to do it himself, but he managed to open the door himself.
"So where exactly is here?" Will asked curiously as he stepped out of the car and looked up at the large building before him. "This does not look like the kind of place where I can get wood."
Charli ran round the car and, taking his hand, led him to the front door. "There's plenty of wood here, don't worry." She knocked quickly.
"I'm not worrying," Will defended quickly.
"You are," she smiled knowingly.
"Am not." He mumbled.
She linked her fingers with his and knocked again but louder. It took a little while, but eventually the door opened.
"Charli? Is that you?" A tall, weedy looking man with graying hair stood in the doorway.
"Hey Toby," Charli grinned. "I know it's getting late and this is really last minute, but Will and I here, are in desperate need of some wood."
"Will?" Toby looked the young man up and down curiously before looking back at Charli and smiling. "You got yourself a new fella, girl?" He chuckled.
Charli blushed furiously, even more so when she remembered that her fingers were still linked with his. She changed the subject. "Um…the wood? Somebody broke our door in and-"
"Somebody broke your door in! Are you okay? Was anything taken? Did you call the police?"
Charli shook her head, thinking fast. The last thing she needed right now was to have to explain to Toby that the Sheriff of Nottingham and Guy of Gisborne had caused the damage. He'd think she'd lost the plot for a start. "No, Toby. It was…an accident. A friend-and rather large one too-accidentally fell into it and knocked it half off its hinges."
Will looked sideways at her, a look of confusion written on his face. "John?" He asked quietly. Charli eyes widened, silently pleading for him to play along with her.
"You know it was John, you were there, Will." Charli laughed nervously. "It's freezing out here. Are you going to let us in or what?"
"Sure, sure," Toby opened the door wider and motioned for the pair to step in. "I'll just take you through to the garage, there's plenty of timber stocked up in there."
Will and Charli followed Toby through the house, Will taking note of how different it seemed to Charli's. Even though he was new to the houses of 2006, he could already see the difference between a woman's home and that of a mans. This house, if he were going to be honest, was much messier. Will smiled to himself; the house of a carpenter obviously.
Toby led them down a long corridor, through the kitchen and out the back in the garden. There was a small outhouse that sat at the end of the backyard and Toby headed right to it. "You'll find everything you need in there. Help yourselves to whatever you want for now. We'll sort the bill out another time." He winked and was about to walk away but he stopped in his tracks. "Oh! Would you like a brew? It gets rather chilly in there."
"A brew?" Will looked from Charli to Toby in uncertainty. Before Toby could speak again, Charli quickly cut in. "No thanks, we won't be staying. We really need to get this door fixed tonight."
"I'll leave you to it then," he nodded before heading back to the house.
Will, still holding Charli's hand, took control of the situation for a change and led her into the outhouse knowing that this was his area of expertise. There was a moment's silence as the two young people looked around, staring at all the wood before them, then Will broke away.
"Wow! I don't think I ever saw so many different types of wood before," he said in awe as he picked up a piece of timber and studied it.
"Well, we don't just have Oak these days," Charli smiled more to herself as she made her way around the room, thinking of the Kevin Costner movie and all the Oak doors they used.
"I can see," Will picked up several more pieces, shaking his head in amazement. "Look at the grain in this section here." He looked at it closely.
Charli loved his fascination with the simplest things. Sometimes she forget that they originated from two completely different worlds; what Charli took for granted in every day life, Will may have quite easily given his life for eight hundred years ago.
"Toby said you can take whatever you like," Charli went to stand besides him and studied the wood he held in his hand too; nothing in particular stood out to her.
Will, lowered timber for a second, and looked at her in complete wonder. "Won't this cost a great deal?"
"No," She shook her head. "We've cut down half the worlds rain forests today to…" Charli trailed off realising that what she was about to say wasn't even slightly amusing. "There's plenty to go round. Take what you need."
"Well, I guess these will do. It was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be actually. I have my axe back at your home. I just need some…" He squinted his eyes and looked around the room again.
"Tools, right?" Charli finished for him. Will smiled and nodded at her. "Toby has plenty of those. Let's go ask him."
Tanya hummed to herself as she towel dried her hair in the bathroom mirror. She had been in there just over an hour now but it was due to the time it had taken her to sort out her hair. She looked in the mirror to inspect her locks; drastic change was an understatement.
What had once been short and extremely blonde was now very long, due to the extensions, and very dark. It suited her complexion more though; she had natural hazel eyes and an olive skin tone.
Nodding her head in approval, Tanya headed over to the bathroom door, towel still in hand, and opened it. It took a moment for the steam to clear, but when it finally did, she screamed when a figured unexpectedly appeared in front of her.
"How long have you been stood there?" Tanya demanded. "Don't you ever give up!" Robin, usually quick with his sexual comments and bold statements, stood in silence, jaw on the floor. "What's the matter?" She frowned. "Cat got your tongue?"
"Your hair," he finally managed to squeeze out. "It's…you look…"
Tanya, for the first time since she had met him, didn't have the urge to tell him to shut up. "Go on…" She pushed.
Robin stepped forward and took a strand of her tresses between his fingers and studied it. The hair fell down to just above her waist, at least four times longer than it was before. "It's beautiful…you look beautiful…" he glanced up at her and smiled genuinely. It made a refreshing change to see a look of pure admiration on his face as opposed to the sexual leers along with the innuendos.
"Yeah, I thought I'd do something different," she slapped his hand away. Okay, as touching as the moment had been, she still wasn't going to give in to him that easily, even if he truly had meant she looked beautiful. "Don't all women in 1192 have nice hair," she pointed out as she finally pushed passed him and headed back into the living room.
"Finally! I get to shower!" Charli rose from the chair. "Will and I have been back at least half an hour. I thought you were never going to come out of there…nice hair by the way. Suits you loads better."
The other outlaws looked up from what they were doing and nodded their heads in approval. Tanya smiled and was about to take a seat when she felt something pulling on her hair again. She turned to find Robin with a piece in his hands once more.
"I can see this is going to be a long night," she sighed.
Rushing as she was, Charli had forgotten to take a large towel into the bathroom with her; instead she only had her hair towel. Cursing, as there was no way she would be able to dry herself with it, it only just reached around her body and she had to hold it together at the back. She had two options. Stand and drip dry, or run for her room, where she knew she had a big and fluffy, warm towel.
Charli decided in the second option, and wrapped the towel around her, her wet hair falling down her shoulders and dripping onto the white towel. Opening the door a little she peered out. Will had taken the door completely off its hinges and had carried it through to the living room earlier. The outlaws were all busy helping him with it, or rather, making 'helpful' suggestions, most of which Will was tactfully ignoring.
Charli sneaked out and began to tip-toe across the room. The less the outlaws saw of her the better. Unfortunately, Robin happened to look up as she reached the middle of the room, and he whistled. She glared at him, but not before all the outlaws turned and saw her.
The piece of wood which Will had been holding and measuring, snapped and cracked, as he stared at her opened mouthed. In fact, the only outlaw who hadn't seemed to be affected by her state of undress was Djaq, and quite frankly Charli was relieved that she hadn't been.
"Hold that thought," Charli said, before running towards her room. She emerged almost a minute later in her dressing gown and pajama's clutching a hair brush and brushing out the tangled curls. Pausing, she looked around. The Outlaws, minus Djaq and Tanya, were all staring in exactly the same place she had been stood before she had bolted.
"Earth to Outlaws? Hello?" She waved her arms like an airplane director. "Hello?" One by one they stirred and blinked.
"Sorry Charli," Alan and Little John apologized. "We weren't expecting that."
Tanya started to laugh. "But they didn't mind! Hey Will, it's a good job you weren't holding the door! You would have had to start all over again!"
The outlaws all laughed as Will turned a puce shade of red. "Alright! Alright!"
"Much, is everything okay?" A concerned Charli called over from where she was sat with Will on the couch. Much, who had been in the bathroom for an hour, hadn't spoken for the last forty minutes, all the outlaws had been able to hear was happy splashes and a few curses. Tanya had explained to them all how to use shampoo, and the man, overcome with excitement had 'volunteered' to be the first one of them to try it. Actually volunteering is the wrong word. He threw himself at Tanya.
Tanya, who had been trying to tame her extremely long her hair, rose from the sofa too and headed over to the bathroom door. She knocked gently. "Much? Are you okay in there?"
Charli smirked. "He's probably found the rubber ducks" Her hair was now dry, but there was a wet patch on Will's shoulder where it had dripped dry in the hour they were waiting for Much. "You know how irresistible my rubber ducks are."
"Rubber ducks?" Will's eyes widened. "I'll not ask."
She patted his leg and nodded. "See, you're learning already. " She then rose from the sofa and headed over to where Tanya was still trying to get an answer out of Much. "Can you hear anything?"
"Apart from the odd splash?" Tanya shook her head. "No. Not since we told him to stop singing." Charli glanced at her watch.
"That was forty minutes ago! Much, come out! You're scaring us."
There was still no reply. Tanya glanced back into the living room and looked at Robin for help. He quickly joined them at the bathroom door, but instead of knocking softly like Tanya had previously done, he banged heavily on the door. "Much! I'm giving you three seconds, and then you know I'll come in there and get you!"
Charli's eyes widened suggestively as she looked at Tanya. "Oooh, he really is tough when he's not being a clown."
"One" Robin ignored her comment and shouted. "Two. "Thr-" As he reached three the door swung open a fraction, a hand reached out, grabbed Robin by his collar and pulled him inside the room. The door shut firmly again.
"Hey, wait! He can't do that!" Charli demanded, banging on the door as Robin had done only seconds ago. "What the hell is going on in there?"
There was a silence on the other side as both girls listened intently. The silence was soon broken by an extremely loud burst of hysterics from Robin. The bathroom door suddenly flew open again and a protesting Much was thrown out into the hallway.
Robin soon followed, bent over double, his eyes watering and unable to speak. He could only point at his best friend.
Charli and Tanya both stared at Much, open mouthed in shock. The other outlaws, gathered in the living room were not so subtle, and all burst out laughing; the food-loving outlaw had somehow managed to turn his hair a bright neon blue.
"Oh and I suppose you all think this is amusing do you?" Much was outraged.
"I'm not being funny but…well actually I AM being funny, because that is funny!" Alan laughed hysterically.
"Oh my…" Tanya looked at Much. "How…I don't understand…how…"
Charli tried to hide the laugh that was bubbling in her throat. "I have a pretty good idea," she walked into the bathroom and emerged moments later with her neon blue hair dye.
"Much, you can read right?" She said through her giggles. "Is this the shampoo you used?"
"Yes. That is what you showed me!" Much insisted. "So that's what I used." Charli looked at Tanya, unable to speak for fear of the laughter welling up in her throat and not wanting to laugh at the poor man. It was Tanya who had been explaining how to use shampoo.
"Much," Tanya shook her head and stepped towards him; he immediately took a step back in defence. "Hey, it's okay…you used the wrong bottle. Unfortunately you used what was left of Charli's neon blue hair…"
Much strode forward and snatched the bottle from Charli's hand. "Well, who in their right mind would use such an obscene colour on their hair anyway!" He then looked at Charli "You, madam, are insane!"
Charli grinned. "Hey, thanks! That's exactly the response I was trying to get!" She ruffled his hair. "Once you get past the general...blueness...it looks kind of cute." There was a snort of laughter from the outlaws. Djaq had her face buried in Alan's shoulder trying to contain her laughter, while Alan himself had tears streaming down his face. Little John was chucking away to himself, and Will was concentrating very hard on putting the finishing touches to the door so he wouldn't have to look up at Much.
"Well, you Charli, may be okay walking around with blue hair, but I on the other hand am not! How do I get rid of it?" He demanded.
"Spoilsport," Charli stuck her tongue out at Much before walking back into the lounge to sit down next to Will. Tanya took pity on the stricken looking man, but she found it hard to keep a straight face with Robin laughing weakly on her shoulder.
"You can dye over it Much," se giggled. "Do you have a favourite hair colour?"
"Yes, that would be my own," he sulked.
Tanya shrugged Robin off and took Much's arm, leading him back into the bathroom. "Come on, we'll see what we can do. Maybe a few scrubs with REAL shampoo will help it fade slightly." She glared at Robin over her shoulder who was still giggling uncontrollably before mouthing shut up to him.
"Hey," Charli called over. "Check the box, I think its non-permanent" She frowned, trying to remember exactly how long her hair had been neon blue for. "Either that or I died over it. Which means there's also some brown in the cupboard."
Tanya picked up the bottle. "Oh good, it is non-permanent. That means all we have to do is wash your hair a few times and it should come right out..." Tanya turned to face him, frowning. "Why are you staring at me?"
"I was just thinking" Much smiled.
"About...what?"
"You and my master."
"Robin?" A small smile appeared on her face, and she looked away quickly so Much wouldn't see it. "He's a jackass, there is no me and him."
"He's not always like that," Much said, as Tanya picked up the shower head and began to spray water over her hand, testing it to make sure it was not to hot or to cold.
"He's not?"
"No. He's loyal…and he loves with all his heart. He has a serious side to him. He cares for all his people. That's why he is an outlaw, you know. Not because of his own stupidity...well, ok, slightly because of his own stupidity, but because he was trying to stand up for the rights of those people in his care. He wants to be able to protect them…" There was a silence in the bathroom, Tanya facing away from the bath.
"Well, why is he being so stuck up and an arrogant bastard now?" she asked quietly.
"I think its because he doesn't really know what to do. He's unsure and he's supposed to be in charge of us. The men look to him for instructions, and if he looks like he has no control over the situation, then they will be more scared than they already are."
"But does he have to treat me the way he does?"
"Robin is used to women falling at his feet," Much explained as he leant over the bath and Tanya aimed the shower at his beautiful bright blue hair. "You didn't. That makes you a challenge. Something he isn't going to give up over."
"I'm a challenge?"
"Yes...and no. He cares for you Tanya. I'm not sure how much; I've never seen him like this before. But he does really care for you - AHHH!"
"What?" Much had shot up out of the way of the shower, spraying water everywhere. "What's the matter?"
"Cold!" She stuck her hand under the shower and gasped. The water was freezing. Sticking her head back round the door, she yelled "Alright, who turned the hot tap on!"
Robin stood sheepishly by the kitchen sink, and Charli was hiding behind him, looking equally as embarrassed. Robin shrugged nonchalantly. "He talks to much," he indicated Much, winking at Tanya.
"You…you heard that?" Tanya turned a shade of white. "You were eavesdropping!"
Robin grinned at her and Charli now had to hold onto the man for support she was laughing that hard.
"Eavesdropping?" Robin frowned. "What's that? I had no eaves to drop. I was listening, if that's what you mean." Charli snorted causing Will to look up from his work in concern.
"Did you just snort like a pig?" He asked, his voice amused. Charli nodded through her laughter.
"Y-y-ye-ye -yes"
Will shook his head and smiled, before putting his head back down and continuing with his work. He figured that was the best thing to do seeing as everybody else in the building had gone slightly insane; the best tactic was to just stay out of it.
"Eavesdropping IS listening in, you idiot!" Tanya yelled at him. "Can't I have a conversation in bloody private?"
"Not when it concerns me, no," he grinned.
"Jackass" Tanya muttered.
"What is 'Jackass'?" Djaq asked
"Its a phrase," Charli searched for the right phrase. "It means... I don't know what it means actually. Tanya, do you?"
"Yeah I can think of a few things it means. Robin Hood, Robin of Locksley, the Earl of bloody Huntington!"
"Huntington? How do you know that?" Robin looked amazed. "Have I ever told you that?" He thought back over the last two days.
"Ooh, I know" Charli grinned. "Lets watch POT"
"POT?" Alan asked. "Stop speaking in riddles woman!"
"Prince of Thieves," Tanya wanted to cry. "Another bloody excuse to make his head swell even more…please… nooooo"
"We should watch it," Robin agreed. "You can sit on my lap," he then told Tanya graciously.
"I think not," she said. "But go ahead Charli. If you think you can stand to be around Robin afterwards, let them watch it. Or, better yet, let them watch MIT."
"Men in Tights," Charli translated for Alan before he could even ask.
"That's all great guys," Much called from the bathroom doorway. "But my hair is still BLUE!" The outlaws burst into a fit of laughter again.
Tanya gasped and ran back into the bathroom. "Sorry Much!" She took the shower and placed it over his head again, making sure it wasn't too cold.
"Yes, it's all well talking about POT, MIT and MLR…B…MV…WHATEVER! The point is my hair is still BLUE!"
"Okay, you guys," Charli took Robin back over to the couch. "I'm really tired, and it's getting late. You can watch POT or MIT if you like, but since I have seen it I'm going to go to bed. If you want to watch it, I'll put it on for you?"
"Oh, and Will, if you could...put the door back when you are finished? That would be great, thanks."
"I'm finished now." The outlaw got to his feet. "Give me a hand?"
Together, everyone hauled the door to its feet and placed it back into the doorframe. Will and Charli ended up on the outside. "Robin, can you slide some nails under the door?"
A chewed off piece of fingernail was shoved through under the door. "That's disgusting," Charli commented. "He meant the metal nails! They are the ones in that little box on the table."
"Here you go," Tanya's voice could be heard as she slid three nails under the door.
"Thank you" Will called distractedly as he began to nail the hinges to the wall.
"Hey, Much still has blue hair." The comment from Alan could be heard clearly through the door, and a tired Charli giggled.
"Thanks for pointing that one out," Much grumbled.
"Hey Much, we washed it three times. It's faded a lot! We'll wash it again in the morning and it will be gone." Much mumbled something again, which made Tanya laugh.
"Done," Will smiled, stepping back and opening the door. Charli grinned.
"Perfect. Thank you so much." She kissed his cheek.
"Anytime." Will found himself smiling broadly. "Lets just hope I don't have to do it again." They both walked back into the room, hand in hand again.
"Okay, did you decide which film you wanted?"
"Men in Tights!"
"No Alan! Why would you want to watch men parade around in tights?" That was Robin of course.
"It's supposed to be funny Robin," Tanya told him. "Prince of Thieves is serious, Men in tights is funny."
"Lets watch the serious one," Will looked down at the outlaws sat on the couch. "We have all the comedy we need with Much's hair."
"That was uncalled for," Much jumped to his feet, only to be pulled down by Robin.
"Prince of Thieves then?" Tanya picked up the DVD and slotted it into the player. The two girls waited until the menu came up and then pressed play for the outlaws.
"Right, Okay. Good night then?"
Already engrossed in the moving pictures on the screen, Tanya and Charli got little more than a mumbled goodbye and waves from their friends.