Date: 20th May 2007

Title: Repercussions
Author: Kazavid
Chapter: 8 / 9

Series: None
Rating: M
Pairing: John Sheppard / OFC - Nicole Johnson
Archiving: None
Warnings: Sexual Content
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Yes
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters do not belong to me.
Summary: While Beckett tries to assess Sheppard's injuries, Sheppard remembers some painful memories from his past.

Repercussions

Chapter 8

Sheppard landed the Jumper on the outer edge of the Athosian Camp, and they where met by Halling.

"What's the problem?" Sheppard asked him.

"One of the women..." Halling started to tell him what the problem was.

Nicole followed behind them but she wasn't listening, she was too busy nodding and smiling to some of the people whom she'd met a few days earlier. They stopped outside one of the dwellings for a few moments, then Sheppard and Halling moved inside, Nicole hesitantly followed.

As soon as she entered the dwelling, her eyes focused on the woman lying on the bed, she looked like she was in a lot of discomfort. Then Nicole noticed the woman's stomach, the slight bump which indicated that she was pregnant, the man standing beside her was obviously her husband, he was holding her hand, and trying to reassure her that everything would be alright.

Nicole didn't feel right being here, witnessing their distress, she was about to leave, when the husband pulled back the covers, intending on carry his wife to the Puddle Jumper, so that she could be taken back to Atlantis. That's when Nicole saw the blood, the bright, vivid red colour against the stark white of the sheets only seemed to emphasis it more. Nicole couldn't look away, she couldn't believe someone could lose that amount of blood and still be conscious.

The husband wrapped his wife in a blanket and picked her up, then he headed outside, carrying his wife to the Puddle Jumper.

"Nicole?" John said, coming to stand beside her. She didn't take any notice, or didn't hear him, he wasn't sure which it was.

Her skin had paled considerable, and he was sure she was going to faint, he moved closer and put his arm around her, just in case.

"Nicole, are you feeling alright?" he asked her, he turned to see where she was looking.

He grimaced as he realised she was staring at the blood covered sheets, obviously she found the sight distressing, he pulled her outside.

"Come on, we have to get back to Atlantis, as quickly as possible." he told her, guiding her to the Puddle Jumper.

"Sorry, it was just so much blood." Nicole said, as she became aware of where she was.

"Are you alright, I mean you're not going to faint or anything, are you?" he asked, noting that she was still very pale.

"I'll be fine." she assured him.

ooooo

In the Puddle Jumper Nicole glanced at the woman, she was still being held by her husband, and they were accompanied by another woman, who was sitting beside them. Nicole sat in the seat next to the pilot's seat, she kept her eyes forward. But she could hear the husband and the friend, assuring the woman, that once they got to Atlantis and Doctor Beckett saw her, that everything would be alright.

Sheppard got them back to Atlantis in record time, where they were met by Beckett, who immediately got the woman in to the infirmary.

"You're very quiet, are you sure you're alright." John asked her.

"I'm fine."

For the rest of the day they got to know each other a little more, they walked around Atlantis and John showed her where everything was, they sat in the mess hall and had dinner, and they talked some more, both of them learning new things about each other.

It was early evening when they began leaving the mess hall, Nicole was stopped by Janet, who pulled her aside, and started teasing Nicole about not picking one of the marines, because she already had her eye on Colonel Sheppard. Nicole just smiled, not going in to any detail with Janet. She told Janet that she'd talk to her soon, then she followed John in to the corridor.

She exited the mess hall just in time to see Colin, whom she hadn't even know was on Atlantis, drawing his fist back and hitting John. She saw Ronon moving towards Colin. She quickly ran over there and just made it before Ronon. She moved to stand in front of Colin, who was about to lean down and grab John.

"What are you doing?" she asked Colin, trying to keep her voice down, not wanting everyone to hear.

"After what he did to you, he deserves a good hiding." Colin shouted.

Nicole looked down at John who was sitting on the floor nursing his jaw. Then she looked back at Colin, his dark hair liberally sprinkled with grey, and at least 20 years older than John, standing there ready to fight. She had her hand on his chest, keeping him from moving towards John.

"I don't suppose he's even apologised for..." Colin began talking, and Nicole was fearful he'd blurt something out.

"Colin," she shouted, halting him from his outburst, "Please let me handle this."

"I bet you never even thought about the repercussion of your actions did you?" Colin threw at John.

"Well I..." John tried to answer, but Nicole turned to look at him.

"Shut up." Nicole shouted at John, she's slightly bemused when he actually complied. She then turned back to look at Colin.

"You and my uncle sent me here, to sort this so called problem out. Now let me sort it out my own way, please." She looked at Colin and sighed.

"Please, I'll talk to you tomorrow." she whispered.

"Alright, we'll talk tomorrow." he told her, he then looked down at John, "You, I'm not so sure about." with that he walked in to the mess hall.

Nicole watched Colin go then she turned around to see Ronon pulling John up.

"Are you alright." she asked, watching him rubbing at his jaw.

John quickly latched on to the sympathy angle and began playing it up, he groaned and held his aching jaw.

"I think you should see Doctor Beckett."

"Maybe it's not that bad." he said, not really wanting to see Doctor Beckett.

"You didn't have to let Colin hit you, you know." she said as they make their way to the infirmary.

"You noticed that did you." John said grimacing, he could have avoided the punch but for some reason, he didn't

"Why did you let him hit you?" she wanted to know.

"I don't know, but they seem to think I deserve it, and much more. Obviously they know something I don't." he said, looking at her, to see if she'll say anything, he sighed when she kept quiet.

ooooo

"Colonel Sheppard, back so soon, I thought you'd steer clear of here, seeing as you've spent so much time in here recently." Beckett comments.

"Could you make sure he's alright." Nicole asked, telling him about his jaw.

"And how did this happen?" Beckett asked.

Sheppard really doesn't want to tell him what happened. But Ronon, not seeing a problem, spilled the beans, and told him everything.

"Another friend hit him." Ronon said, ignoring the scowl he got from Sheppard.

"Another friend! Some lovely friends you have there Colonel." Beckett started checking his pulse.

"What's this now, the third hit you've taken since leaving the infirmary?" Beckett used the small penlight to check the reaction of Sheppard's eyes.

"Exactly how many more friends do you have Colonel Sheppard?" Beckett asked, lifting his head up to look at the Colonel. John just keeps his mouth shut.

Beckett asked him a few more questions. Nicole got distracted, so she wasn't listening.

"My advice to you Colonel Sheppard, avoid your friends for the next few days, give your face a chance to recover. Or better yet get some new friends, preferably friends who actually like you." Beckett said, unable to keep a straight face.

John glared at Beckett's little joke, getting off the bed he walked towards the door. Nicole only then realised that the examination was over.

"Would you like me to make you a reservation for tomorrow Colonel Sheppard." Beckett shouted as Sheppard left the infirmary. Ronon started laughing, and Sheppard ignored the little jibe.

"What did he say, is everything alright?" Nicole asked him.

"He said I need someone to watch me for the next 24 hours, just in case." He hoped she doesn't realise that he's lying.

"Then shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" she asked.

"No I told him you'd look after me." he said, giving her his best 'I'm so hurt' look. "Is there a problem, should I go tell him you can't keep an eye on me?" he asked.

"No, It's not a problem." she told him, thinking that maybe this would be the best time to tell him everything. "Where exactly are you going now?" she wanted to know.

"I need to rest, I thought I'd go to bed." he said, not looking at her.

ooooo

In John's bedroom Nicole sat down in a chair, and watched as John began undressing, when he only had his boxer shorts on he turned to look at her.

"There's no need to sit in that chair all night. The bed's big enough for the both of us?"

"I'm fine." she lied, her eyes moved over his nakedness.

"Is there a problem with you sleeping on the other side of the bed. Don't you trust me, or is it yourself you don't trust?" he asked.

"I trust you." she admitted, but she wasn't sure she trusted herself, not if she where that close to him.

"Then get on the bed and get some sleep." he told her.

Nicole moved to the other side of the bed and laid down, on top of the covers.

John mumbled something then dragged the covers from under her and then threw them over the top of her. Then he got in to bed.

"I promise I won't ravish you while you're asleep." he told her, grinning as she glared at him.

There was that word again, every time he said 'I promise' it was like a door to a memory opened, only to be slammed shut before he got a look in, dismissing it, he tried to go to sleep. Which was going to be a bit difficult, he thought with Nicole only a few feet away. But surprisingly he fell asleep quite quickly.

ooooo

FLASHBACK

SHEPPARD - McMURDO AIR FORCE BASE – ANTARCTICA

Section D Facility

"Your hands are still freezing." she complained.

"I did tell you I needed warning up." he smiled, "And I know just where to warm them." he said, moving closer to her. Nicole covered her breasts with her hands. But he put his hands behind her back, and pushed them in to her pants, cupping her buttocks.

He pulled her hips closer to his body. Pressed his groin against her and felt her grinding herself against his hardened shaft.

"Mm, do that again." he groaned, feeling his erection throb with pleasure.

Nicole repeated the movement with her hips, eliciting another moan as his body responded to the stimulus of her grinding hips. Pulling his hands from her pants he grabbed the waistband and pushed her pants down, over her buttocks and down her thighs, letting them fall to the floor, where Nicole stepped out of them.

He ran his, slightly warmer, hands over her as his mouth moved across her shoulder, alternating between kissing and biting.

"Are you too cold to take your clothes off?" Nicole asked, as she moves her hands beneath his t-shirt.

He leaned back and looked down, only then realising that he was still fully dressed.

"Why don't you take them off." he said, waiting for her to do just that.

Nicole pushed his t-shirt up over is head and dropped it on the floor. He can't keep his hands off her. He covered her breasts with his hands and squeezed. Nicole, who has just popped the button on his jeans, stopped as a streak of pleasure shot from her breasts down between her thighs.

"You haven't finished yet." he told her, unnecessarily.

Nicole stuck her tongue out at him.

"Do that again." he told her, moving closer.

She stuck her tongue out again and he covered her mouth with his, drawing her tongue in to his mouth where he stroked his tongue against hers. Nicole pulled the zip of his pants down and pushed her hand inside.

John pulled his stomach muscles in as her hand brushed against his skin, he groaned against her mouth as her fingers grasped his erection. He rested his forehead against her cheek as her hand stroked along his length, he felt her fingers tightening around him as her stroked quicker. His erection throbbed in her hand and he wrapped his own hand around hers to still her caressing fingers.

"You still haven't finished undressing me." he told her, his voice hoarse with arousal.

Nicole pulled him closer to the bed, and turned around so his back was to it, then she pushed him back till he fell on the bed. He just laid there as she bent down to unlace his boots pulling them and his socks off. Then she hooked her fingers in to the waistband of his pants and boxers.

He lifted his hips up as she pulled his pants and boxers off, his erection suddenly sprang free. Her eyes looked at him with such hunger that he could barely keep control, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, willing himself to calm down.

The sudden touch of Nicole's mouth on his stomach had him snapping his eyes open as he leaned up to look at her. She was kissing her way down his stomach, he dropped his head back down. He felt her hand grasping his shaft at the base, then felt her mouth tentatively slip over the head of his erection, causing him to moan as he felt his hardened length throb in the moist cavern of her mouth. He jerked up and grabbed her head to pull her away.

"Not now," he groaned, pulling her up to lie over his body, he rolled over till she was beneath him. "I can't take that right now." he told her, moving further over her to rest his head on her shoulder while he nestled his weight between her thighs.

He stayed where he was for a while, allowing his body to ease down and relax. When she turned her face towards him he kissed her deeply, and began stroking his hands over her body. Kissing her breasts and moving down her body, not stopping until he reached his intended destination.

"John." Nicole whispered, lifting her head up to look at him, he can hear the nervousness in her voice. Even though he's done this numerous times to her, she's still a little shy.

He can't help himself, he loves seeing the pleasure on her face, as he teases her, finds it highly arousing when her body reacts to the slightest touch from him.

"Shh, trust me, it's OK." he told her, smiling as she dropped her head down on the pillow. He can see her watching him beneath lowered lids.

resting his hands against her thighs he lowered his mouth down to kiss each thigh in turn. Her muscles quivered each time he placed his mouth on her, and he smiled. He began teasing the delicate folds with his fingers, stroking her, rubbing against the sensitive bud. When he pushed one of his fingers inside of her, her back arched and her thighs beneath his hands trembled.

When he lowered his mouth down and began teasing her with his lips and tongue, Nicole began crying and writhing on the bed. He watched as the pleasure he was giving her drove her closer to the edge. She was biting her lower lip as she pushed her hips against his mouth, her body was looking for that one last flick of his tongue on her clitoris to find a release. He didn't disappoint, he flicked his tongue over her clitoris and sent her tumbling over the edge, trembling violently at the intense pleasure he gave her. He ran his tongue over her one last time causing her to shudder the he slowly moved up to kiss her.

He reached over to the small table beside the bed and opened the drawer, reaching his hand inside he doesn't find what he's looking for, he leaned over and looked inside the drawer. Groaning when he doesn't see any condoms in there.

"What's the matter?" Nicole asked.

"We don't have any protection left." he told her, sounding very unhappy. He nuzzled his face against her neck moaning as his body throbbed painfully, waiting for release.

Nicole reached her hand down to caress him, but he grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Don't." he whispered, bringing her hand up to his mouth and kissing it.

He can't bear to think about having to stop, can't accept the idea of not being able to make love to her. The only thing he wanted was the pleasure he got from being inside her, he wanted to feel her body trembling with the pleasure he gives her, and he doesn't want to settle for anything else.

"Nicole..." John murmured, pressing his mouth against her cheek.

"Couldn't we...just this once..." he cajoled, moving his lips down to her neck.

"Make love without any protection." he said, his mouth moving along her collarbone.

"I'll withdraw..."

"Before I come..." he nibbled on her ear,

"I promise." he said, just before his mouth covered hers.

He doesn't want to hear her say no, at least not right away, so he kissed her over and over. Eventually he lifted his mouth from hers, and looked in to her eyes, waiting for her response to his plea.

"Alright, yes." Nicole said, just as eager to have him inside her, as he was to be there.

He groaned with relief, he was almost convinced that she would say no. He raised up slightly to position himself against her, then leaning on his elbows he rest over her.

"Nicole, open your eyes," he wanted to see her reaction as he entered her, "Look at me." he whispered.

She opened her eyes and looked right at him, he kissed her and then watched as he thrusted in to her with one stroke, he can see the change in her eyes as he moved against her. They were both very close to the edge, and after only a few thrusts he felt her muscles clenching and tightening on him, his control started to slip.

He felt her body trembling as her inner muscles contracted on his erection, her thighs tightened as her pleasure peaked. He felt his own climax was imminent, knew that he should do something about it, but he can't, he doesn't have the will power...

He had his arms under her back and his hands gripping her shoulders, as he pushed in to her body, harder and deeper, driving towards his own release.

"John..." Nicole murmured against his ear.

"Shh..." he whispered, just before he covered her mouth with his, and kisses her, stopping her from talking, while he drove faster against her. The friction against his shaft increased and he couldn't hold back, couldn't do what he promised he would. He felt the pleasure rising, felt the sudden explosive jerk as his body finally found release deep within her, each successive thrust sent more of his seed in to her.

When the tremors had die down, he cursed his own lack of self control. He kissed the side of her neck. He could hardly speak, the guilt and disgust he felt towards himself, was unbearable.

"Nicole, I'm Sorry...I..." he murmured, unable to put in to words exactly how he was feeling. "I couldn't..." he'd promised her, and she'd trusted him, and he hadn't had the strength or the will power to keep his promise.

"It's alright, it's just the once, it will probably be alright, stop worrying." she told him, aware of exactly how bad he felt.

END OF FLASHBACK

ooooo

John woke instantly, his eyes snapping open to the darkness of the room. He groaned, agonised by the knowledge of what he'd done, he knew what the repercussion of his actions was, he doesn't need to be told. The silence in the room is deafening, he doesn't know what he's feeling, several emotions hit him at the same time. Pain at the knowledge of what he'd done, frustration at not being able to do anything about it, and anger at not being there when she needed him.

He turned his head and looked at Nicole, who was sleeping beside him, he wondered how on earth she could say she still trusted him. How could she after what he did. He couldn't stay here, he needed to think. Getting up he dressed and left the room.

TBC...

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo