AUTHORS' NOTE - Well obviously I worked out what happens next. I even know what is going to happen in the next chapter! After that your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, read on. And then review. I do so love reviews...

DISCLAIMER - Squaresoft own Final Fantasy VIII. I just borrowed them.

Chapter Four

She had left him a week ago. She promised to be with him forever, that she would never leave. But of course she had. Like they all did. First his mother, then Sis, the rest of the orphanage gang and then Seifer again. After he had come back he left again. Now she had gone too.

The difference was that this time he knew he wasn't alone. He had his friends, the friends that she had brought back to him. Of course they had been there all along but it had taken her love to make him realise that they were there and that although the memories had faded they had never left him.

Although they were here now though, Squall realised that they wouldn't be here always. One day they too would leave, each of them in turn. Until he was on his own.

The problem this time was that he could not build up his defences, they wouldn't allow it. Their mere presence would ensure that the ice within him would could not reform, leaving him open to the pain of them leaving.

As such the answer was clear. He had to be the one to leave this time. If he went away the wound would heal never to be ripped open once more when another left him.

It was many nights of little sleep and an anguish that he could not vocalise then that lead to Squall standing at the door of his hotel room in Deling City, a light pack on his back, Leonhart hanging at his waist and an unaddressed envelope sitting on top of the dresser.

Next to the envelope was a photograph of them all together, taken not long after Seifer had returned to Garden. The photo was taken at the beach. The beach had been Selphie's idea, and weren't they always. A day of fun at the beach, a chance for them to act like the young people they were, not the saviours of the world.

And it had been fun. More fun than Squall could ever remember experiencing in his short life, surrounded by the ones he loved. The ones who loved him.

Looking at this photograph he whispered under his breathe, 'Good bye. I love you.'

With this he turned and left, walking out to the street and away from Deling City, away from the pain.

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A tall man of wavy auburn hair on top of which sat an ever present cowboy hat stood outside the door of Squall's room. The group were soon to depart, heading back to Balamb. It was the consensus of the group that the sooner that they got Squall back to Garden and back to work the sooner he would start to heal.

Of course it had hit him hard, how could they have expected it not to, but they still worried about him. Though nothing like he used to be before the war, the news of Rinoa's death had caused something to freeze behind Squall's eyes and the spark that Rinoa had brought to them had disappeared. He had been more distant with them then he had been in years, and this was what worried them all so.

Knocking lightly on the door Irvine waited for an answer. When none came he knocked again, louder this time. After some time of silence he called out, 'Squall? You in there?'

When he got no answer he tried the door. Finding it open he stepped inside again calling out for Squall. But the room had been cleared out, nothing remained to indicate that he had even been there. Apart from the letter on the dresser.

Picking up the envelope and the photograph Irvine muttered to himself, 'Now what have you gone and done?'

Closing the door behind him Irvine headed down the hall to the room Quitsis was staying in, knocking and waiting for a response. Seeing the cowboy on the other side of the door Quitsis asked, 'Did you tell Squall we were leaving? We really ought to start moving the train leaves in...' but she trailed off noticing the envelope in his hand, 'Irvine?'

'He's gone Quitsis. Nothing left but this letter, and the photo we had taken at the beach. You remember that day, just after Seifer got back?'

'He was so happy then. What does the letter say?' she questioned, motioning for Irvine to enter the room. The hall way was not the place to have this kind of conversation

'I haven't read it yet. I couldn't bring myself...'

Handing the envelope to Quitsis she broke the seal and slowly read over its contents. 'He's gone. Says he can't handle the pain and the possibility that we'll leave him.' Wiping a tear from the corner of her eye she sniffed and continued, 'He says he loves us but that we aren't to look for him.'

'What?!' Irvine exclaimed jumping out of his seat, 'He can't be serious! He can't honestly expect us to just let him go without looking for him. He's hurting, we have to let him know that its okay, that we won't leave.'

Sighing she replied, 'But we can't promise him that can we? Not in out line of work. We have to face it Irvine. He's gone.'

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He had read about her death in the newspapers. He was going to go back for the funeral, for Squall. Too much time had passed though to start hoping again, hoping that he could now be his.

So instead Seifer sat at the end of this bar every day in the middle of nowhere. At least no one bothered him. No one said much in this place, being somewhere people went to forget. Somewhere people went to lose themselves, to lose their painful pasts.

In this pursuit Seifer had been most successful. He worked all day, the community here was involved in logging and farming, hard tiring work but work for which Seifer was well prepared. His years of training meant that he had the physical strength for the work and it suited him, paying reasonably well with very little thought needed. And at night he came here, had a few drinks of the local liquor, a heady and potent concoction not too dissimilar from a fine Galbadian bourbon, but not quite as refined and smooth. After that to bed, then start over again.

This all provided very little time for soul searching. This and the liquor helped soothe the pain some.

The news of Rinoa's death however had made him remember what he had tried so hard and so long to forget. Suddenly no amount of exhausting physical work or strong liquor was going to help...