Date: 28th May 2007

Title: Repercussions
Author: Kazavid
Chapter: 9 / 9

Series: None
Rating: M
Pairing: John Sheppard / OFC - Nicole Johnson
Archiving: None
Warnings: Sexual Content
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Yes
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters do not belong to me.
Summary: While Beckett tries to assess Sheppard's injuries, Sheppard remembers some painful memories from his past.

Repercussions

Chapter 9

It's four thirty when John walked in to the mess hall, there were only a couple of people here, he grabbed a cup of coffee and sat at one of the tables. His first thought was how the hell he could have forgotten about making love to Nicole without using protection. Secondly was what had happened to the baby.

He saw Steve enter the mess hall and watched as he came over to his table.

"You don't mind do you?" Steve asked, not waiting for an answer he sat down opposite John.

John looked at Steve and decided to ask him about Nicole.

"Tell me what happened to Nicole ." he asked Steve.

"Look John I told you before I..."

"I know she got pregnant. What I don't know is what happened after that." John told him.

"She told you about it." Steve said.

"Lets just say I remembered." John said without going in to detail. Steve frowned at John.

"So she didn't tell you?" he asked John.

"She didn't tell me anything, she doesn't even know that I know." he admitted.

"She wouldn't be able to tell you much anyway."

"Why not?"

"She wasn't actually coherent at the time."

"Just tell me what happened." John told him,

"The first I knew about it was when Colin rang the Base and told me I needed to take Nicole to the nearest hospital fast. He didn't exactly tell me over the phone what the problem was, so I didn't know what to expect. I don't think I'll ever forget the sight that greeted me when I walked in to that bedroom." Steve said, breaking off he took a drink of coffee, his eyes had a pained expression on them.

"I've seen a lot of accidents and some of them pretty bad, but when it's someone you know it really hits you. Nicole was lying on the bed, yet all you could see was the blood, I've never seen so much blood. Truthfully I didn't think she'd survive long enough for us to get her to a hospital." Steve saw the look on John's face and stopped talking.

John knew Steve wasn't one to exaggerate, so it must have been pretty bad.

"Are you sure you want to hear this." Steve asked him.

"No, I'm not sure, but I need to know what happened. After all it was my fault." John said.

"When we got her to the hospital, I thought the worse was over, but they couldn't stop the bleeding. It took them over 24 hours to get the bleeding under control, they even had to send out for more blood because they ran out. Fortunately Nicole was unconscious through all of this, so she didn't know what was going on, and she still doesn't know all of it." Steve looked at John and saw the haunted look on his face, he felt sorry for him.

He knew John wasn't the type of guy to deliberately leave a woman in the lurch.

John remembered how Nicole had been affected by the sight of the Athosian woman who had almost miscarried, now he realised why.

"Did she say anything?" John asked him.

"No, she didn't say much, she was pretty quiet. When the doctor explained to her what had happened she seemed shocked, she hadn't even known she was pregnant." Steve told him.

John looked at Steve, listened to everything he was telling him, appreciated that Steve had been there, but he also felt anger towards his friend. Anger because Steve knew everything that had gone on, while he, who should have know, had to ask.

"Thanks for telling me. And thanks for what you did." John told him as he stood up.

"No thanks needed as I said I care for Nicole." Steve told him, John looked at him, wondering if he meant something else. "I hope everything works out for you." Steve added.

"Yeah, so do I." John muttered as he left the mess hall.

When John got back to his room he found Nicole gone, he cursed and began looking for her. He saw Major Lorne and asked him if he'd seen Nicole, and was informed that Lorne had just dropped her off at the Athosian camp. John commandeered a Jumper and set off to the mainland.

ooooo

He set the Puddle Jumper down far from the Athosian camp then he began walking back towards the camp, hoping to see Nicole. He hadn't walked far when he saw her up ahead coming towards him. He slowed a little and waited for her to catch up to him.

"Hi, sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." he said turning to walk the same way as her, back towards the Puddle Jumper.

"You don't have to apologise." she told him, wondering why he thought it necessary to do so.

"Yes I do, I shouldn't have left you alone, I should have been there." he told her, not knowing himself, if he were talking about leaving her in his room this morning, or leaving her back at McMurdo when he did.

"You want to sit down?" he asked when they reached the Puddle Jumper.

"Sure." She sat down and watched as John sat a couple of feet away from her.

It seemed ages before either of them spoke but John was the first to break the silence.

"I know my stupidity got you pregnant..." John said, turning to look at her, he saw the shock on her face.

"Did Steve tell you?" she asked, not looking at him.

"He didn't have to, I remembered." he admitted. He can see she's getting anxious so he moves closer to her.

Nicole was sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up and her arms clasped around them. He came and sat behind her, placing his legs either side of hers and his chest against her back. He puts his arms loosely around her, pulling her back till her head rested against his shoulder.

It seemed so long since he'd just held her in his arms, he pressed his face against the side of her head and breathed in the scent from her hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"There isn't much to talk about." Nicole said in a low voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I didn't even know I was pregnant until it was over." she said her voice sounded emotionless.

"How come you didn't know?"

"Because I was still having a monthly cycle."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that because of me." he told her, his arms automatically tightening around her.

Nicole could hear the pain in his voice, she could feel her own pain, pain which she'd managed to keep suppressed for three years, slowly coming to the surface. The tears started off slowly at first but soon turned to sobbing. John turned her around, so that her back was against one of his legs while he lifted her legs to rest over his other leg.

Nicole buried her face in his chest and cried, and kept on crying.

Hearing Nicole crying like this was tearing at his insides, and what made him feel even worse was the fact that all this pain she was feeling was down to him. When the sobbing dies down and she becomes quiet, he wonders if she'll ever care for him again.

"Do you hate me?" he asked, not sure if he really wants to know the answer. He closes his eyes and lowers his head so she wont see the desperation in his eyes. When she seems to take too long answering the question, he's expecting a negative answer.

"No I don't hate you. I've never hated you." she finally answers the question.

She still has her face pressed against his chest, and he rubs his cheek against the top of her head and tightens his hold on her. Nicole has her arms around his back holding him as tight as he is holding her.

"It was all my fault."

"How do you come to that conclusion?" she asked.

"I promised you that I'd..."

"It takes two people to make a baby not one. I could have said no."

"But you trusted me."

"And I still trust you."

"How can you?"

John wanted to ask her if she had any feelings for him, but he's not sure he should, he felt like he was pushing her too far, too fast. But he desperately wanted to know, and couldn't hold back from asking.

"How do you feel about me now?" he ventured to ask her.

"I still have feelings for you." she admited to him. But doesn't exactly reveal what kind of feelings she had for him.

"I could work with that." he told her, just glad that she at least felt something.

"What about you, how do you feel about me?" she was just as unsure about him as he was of her.

"I still care a great deal about you." he whispered in her ear.

"You do?" she sounded surprised by his answer.

"Oh, yes." he said, kissing her when she turned her head on his shoulder to look at him. It was a long time before either of them came up for air, and even then they only took a breath and got back to kissing each other.

When they eventually stopped kissing they just sat there holding each other, not speaking just savouring the feel of being together.

"I know I probably shouldn't be saying this right now, but I desperately want to be with you." he told her.

"You don't think I've noticed." she laughed huskily, dropping her hand to the hardness that had been pressed against her hip for the past twenty minutes.

He groaned as her hand rubbed against him.

"Steve was asking the other day if I'd ever done it in a Puddle Jumper." John remarked to her, kissing her neck, as her hand moved from his groin to his back.

"Why was he asking that?" she was curious.

"He was referring to when we made out on the snowmobile."

"You told him!" she shouted, pulling back to look at him accusingly.

"Actually, I didn't have to tell him, he knew." he admitted sheepishly.

"He knew! You mean all this time he knew what we'd been doing?" Nicole felt her face flush at the thought.

"Well, yeah. I mean what did you expect him to think, with you half naked, and me smiling like an idiot. That we were sightseeing." He didn't sound the least bit embarrassed she thought.

"So you now expect to add the Puddle Jumper to your list of places that you've done it."

"Yeah." he said, warily, she was leading him somewhere here, but he didn't know where.

"So it's not me you want, it's the prestige that goes with having done it in a Puddle Jumper?"

He groaned, when she put it like that it made him sound like all he cared about was getting laid in a Puddle Jumper.

"No, look forget the Puddle Jumper. I just want you." he told her truthfully.

"You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"What's the difference if you do it out here or in there?" she said pointing at the Jumper.

"Everyone gets to do it out here, but not many get the chance in a Puddle Jumper."

"Like you do, you mean."

He just gave her a big grin.

"You're incorrigible, you know that don't you."

"Yeah, but you love me just the same." he told her.

"True, I do." she said, not noticing how John tensed.

"True, you do what?" he asked, carefully.

"Love you."

"You do.?" his voice shook slightly at her answer.

"I just said so didn't I."

"I never thought you'd say that to me, not after..."

"Will you stop blaming yourself for what happened"

"I can't."

"Yes you can." she told him vehemently.

He had his chin resting on top of her head, while she had her face against his chest. She pulled her head up and looked at him, she could see the anguish on his face. She doesn't like seeing him like this, so she decided to do something about it.

She put her hands on his face and tilted his head down to kiss him, John deepened the kiss pushing his tongue between her lips as he teased her mouth, remembering the sweet taste of her. He felt her hand on his erection.

"You don't have to do that." he told her, placing his hand over hers and stilling her movement.

"I know I don't but I want to." she said, moving her fingers over him.

He groand and moved his hands to her breasts where he gently caressed her through her shirt.

"Wanna move to the Puddle Jumper." she asked him huskily.

"I thought I was supposed to be the incorrigible one." he laughed.

"Does that mean you don't want to move to the Jumper." she taunted.

ooooo

In the Puddle Jumper John pulled two sleeping bags out of a small locker, opening them he threw them on the floor.

"Looks adventurous." she said banally, teasing him.

"This is only the start." he told her.

"The start, so where are you expecting to finish?" she dared to ask.

"I was thinking the pilots seat." he said, she groand and threw her head back in defeat at his incorrigibility.

He took the opportunity and moved in to start kissing her throat, slowly moving up to her jaw and over her cheek and finally her mouth. Nicole grasped the back of his head, her fingers threading through his dishevelled hair, and she lightly pulled his hair as her fingers teasingly rubbed against his scalp.

He couldn't seem to get enough of her, he thought as he pulled her closer. All he wanted to do was bury himself so deep inside her, and never have to move. He groaned when she pushed her tongue in to his mouth and started to trace her tongue around his teeth, over his tongue, and around the inside of his lips.

He knew he wouldn't last long, knew there wouldn't be much foreplay before he needed to feel her surrounding him. She pulled his t-shirt up and ran her hands over his skin. he pulled h is t-shirt over his head, grimacing as his right shoulder protested at the the angle he forced his arm in to.

"Are you alright." she asked, stroking her hands over his bruised shoulder, and placing kisses there.

"Fine." he said, his voice low and thick with emotion.

Luckily enough her shirt had press stud fastening, because he wouldn't have been able to undo buttons. He ripped the two sides apart and the stud fastening popped open from top to bottom, pushing the shirt off her shoulder, he let it fall to the floor. His eyes immediately fell upon her naked breasts, he cupped them in his hands and teased the nipples with his thumbs, before lowering his mouth down to stroke, kiss and tease her with his tongue and lips.

"John, please." she moaned, her hands tugging at his head, trying to pull him up.

He lifted his head and saw the longing and the need reflected in her eyes, she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He finished undressing her and himself, all the time caressing her and kissing her. He pulled her down to the sleeping bags, where he kissed his way from her mouth down to her stomach. He traced his fingers over the thin white scar that ran across her stomach, he moved his fingers and traced the same path with his lips.

Moving back up he looked at her.

"Are you sure about this." he asked.

"Yes, very sure." she watched as he pulled out a condom from his pants pocket.

"You don't need that." she told him, grabbing his hand.

He dropped the packet on the floor and moved to settle himself between her thighs. He entered her slowly and stopped, she could feel him throbbing deep inside her. She wrapped her legs around his hips, and felt him sinking deeper in to her. When he lifted his head to look down at her, she saw the longing in her, reflected in his eyes. He pressed his face in to the curve of her neck and slowly started to thrust against her, all the time murmuring against her neck.

It wasn't long before Nicole felt her body tightening around him. She arched against him as he increased his thrusts. Her breathing increased and her thighs tightened as her climax culminated to a single point of pleasure. She began to shake and tremble in his arms as her climax peaked.

"I love you." Nicole murmured in his ear.

"Oh, god..." John groaned as he felt this own release suddenly spilling inside her, hearing her say she loved him tipped him over the edge.

"I love you too." he told her, pressing kisses on her mouth and neck. He clung to her as his body slowly relaxed against her.

Sated and tired, John dragged one of the sleeping bags over them and Nicole fell asleep. When she woke up it was to find John, beside her his arm bent and his head resting on his hand as he watched her, his hand stroking over her skin.

"Still love me?" he asked, making sure she hadn't just said it in the throes of passion.

"Of course I still love you." she said, "You still love me?" she threw his own question back at him.

"I think I've always loved you." he told her. Causing her to close her eyes and snuggle against his chest.

"How would you feel about having a baby?" he asked her quietly.

She snapped her eyes open and looked at him, a little shocked by his question.

"The only thing is though," he continued talking, "Is you'd have to make an honest man of me." he told her.

"And how do I make an honest man of you?" Nicole asked, hoarsely. Her heart thumping away, loudly in her chest.

"Why you'd have to marry me of course." he said, smiling at her.

"Are you proposing to me?" Nicole asked, her voice wavering slightly.

Nicole watched as he blushed.

"You're blushing." she said incredulously.

"Yes, well make the most of it, because you won't see it again." he told her. "And yes, I am proposing." he said, watching her reaction.

"So?" he pushed her to answer.

"I'd love to make an honest man of you."

"So that's a yes." he asked, making certain.

"Of course it's a yes."

He pulled her in to his arms and thought to himself, mine, she finally belongs to me.

A few minutes later he tilted her head back so he could look at her.

"You're not falling asleep on me are you?" he asked, seeing her eyes close.

"No, why?" she yawed before she opened her sleepy eyes.

"I was thinking we could try the pilot's seat next." he teased.

"Oh, shut up." she pinched his side, and caused him to yelp.

ooooo

"So you don't think I'll see you blush again?" she asked him.

"No that was the last time."

"Do you want to bet on that?" Nicole dared him.

Pulling back he looked at her, "You think you can make me blush?" he asked with a smirk.

"You think I can't?" she threw back at him.

ooooo

THE BET

A/N ( Lolly Ice - same as – Popsicle )

(Nicole bets John that she can make him blush, he bets her that she can't. The winner gets the other as a slave for 24hours)

John was sitting in the mess hall with Ronon, McKay, Beckett and Teyla, when Nicole walked in.

She walked over to John and whispered something in his ear, then she sat directly across from him, between McKay and Beckett.

She unwrapped the lolly ice that she's holding and began eating it, running her tongue from the bottom up to the top, licking all around the top and sliding it inside her mouth. All the time keeping her eyes on John, who literally couldn't take his eyes off her.

No one else around the table was aware of what was going on, as she continued to lick and suck the lolly ice. John was beginning to look very uncomfortable as he stared at her. He kept moving in his seat, adjusting his sitting position as his body reacted to the sight of her lovingly eating and caressing the lolly ice with her mouth.

After a few more licks along the lolly ice, she swirled her tongue around the top of it, then she placed her mouth over the top and slowly bit the top off. Everyone around the table suddenly looked towards John, who at the exact same time that she bit the top off, gave a low guttural moan, and closed his eyes.

"Are you alright, Colonel Sheppard?" Beckett asked him.

"What?" John asked hoarsely, not realising how loud his moan was.

"Are you in pain?" Beckett asked him, concerned.

John looked at Nicole and his face flushed with embarrassment, he glared at her when he realised what she'd done.

Nicole smiled and touched her index finger to her tongue, then she chalked the number 1 in the air, indicating that round one was a win for her.

John sat there, his mind replaying the words she'd whispered in to his ear.

'While I'm eating this lolly ice, I'll be thinking of you and what I'll be doing to you later.'

When the others left and there was just John and Nicole left at the table. He looked at her.

"Come and sit over here." he said patting the seat beside him.

Nicole sat beside him and couldn't help smiling as he shifted in his seat, trying to find a more comfortable sitting position.

"This is all your fault you know, so what are you going to do about it?"

"What's all my fault?" she feigned ignorance.

Grabbing her left hand in his right hand and pressed the back of it against his groin. He stared at her and moved her hand over his aching body.

"So how are you going to get me out of here without me embarrassing myself." he wanted to know.

"That's not my problem." she pulled her hand from his and stood up, she walked a few feet away.

"Nicole!" he shouted, not sure if she was about to abandon him.

She turned around and walked back to drop her jacket in to his lap.

"Why don't you carry that to cover your... predicament." she smiled at him, then walked out.

He vowed he'd get her back as he watched her go, she turned and smiled seductively at him, before she left.

THE END...

A / N -- Thanks for taking the time to read the story, hope you liked it.

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