Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Twenty Seven: Serbia and Montenegro
Rating: PG-13
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.

"They kissed?" Alan, who had not moved from where he had been stood ten minutes ago, said again.

The rest of the outlaws groaned in response to his question. They were about to head back into the living room when the door to the bedroom suddenly flew open. Robin, who was kissing Tanya intimately in the doorway, lift his arm and threw a shoe at Alan without even looking. He then closed the door. Unfortunately, the said item missed him and hit John square in the head instead.

"Witchcraft!"

"How is that witchcraft?" Much frowned.

"It Flew!"

"Robin threw it!"

"...Oh."

"They kissed!" Alan retorted again. Djaq growled and, grabbing Alan's collar, quickly pulled his lips down to meet her own. Alan grinned. "We kissed."

Charli looked over at Will and blushed before he came over and lowered his head to place his lips on hers. Little John eyed Much warily and vice versa before both men quickly stepped away from each other. John strode over to the doorway, just about ready to pummel Robin but was stopped suddenly by a cry of 'no's from the rest of the group. Instead he rubbed the sore spot on his head where he's previously been hit and turned to Alan. "Your fault."

"I wonder how long they've been kissing?" Alan said again.

Djaq nudged him in the arm. "What is the deal with you and those two kissing? Do you like her or something?" She eyed him suspiciously. "Do you like Robin?"

Alan mouth dropped to the floor and he looked at Djaq stunned. "Excuse me woman?"

The two of them debated all the way into back into kitchen where they decided to make breakfast for the assembly. Much, still feeling awful but never the less hungry, followed them and Little John headed into bathroom to freshen up.

Will was about to turn back to Charli and ask her if she was okay when she quickly headed to the other bedroom. If she thought she was going to be alone she had another thing coming for he was quick to follow her. Charli smiled gratefully at his concern; she had never known anyone quite like him. No other man would have followed her around and watched over her the way Will did; not that she was complaining.

"Running away?" Will leaned against the doorframe as Charli walked across to her window and opened it. She smiled slowly at him as she turned around. "Maybe."

Will smiled back and headed over to where she stood, he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I know that you're upset. And I can understand why, but she'll be okay. Robin will make sure of that…and you too."

Charli sighed and leaned back against him. "Robin will make sure that I'm ok?" She raised an eyebrow.

Will chuckled and turned her around. "You knew what I meant." He kissed her softly. "I'll look after you. I swear nothing will happen to you."

"We shouldn't make promises that we can't keep!" Charli said, pulling away from him and going back to the window.

Will frowned and followed her. "You think I won't protect you? We got you into this mess. I'll be damned if I let anything happen to you!"

"I don't think that you can't…" Charli shook her head. "But I don't think that you can, either." Knowing that that didn't make any sense at all, Charli turned to the confused man, leaning her hip against the window sill. "Its hard to explain, Will. But it's impossible. You can't watch us all the time, Tanya just demonstrated that. And I don't want to be responsible for you getting hurt or... or worse."

Will rubbed his forehead, knowing that she had a good point; he couldn't watch her every single move. Tanya had slipped from under their very own noses this morning and had scared them all. "I understand, Charli. But you know I'll try my best anyway."

"And you promise you wont get hurt?" She looked up at him. "Or worse!"

Will chuckled again. "I can't guarantee that…but..." he trailed off when he saw the distraught look on her face. "Okay…I promise."

Charli smiled and let out a sigh of relief before throwing her arms around him. "We'll just stick together." Her words were slightly muffled as she spoke into his neck.

He grinned as her breath tickled his throat. "Yeah. We'll stick together. As long as we don't go on any more trampolines."

Charli giggled into his neck before pulling away and looking up at him. "Deal." She stood on her tiptoes and reached up to kiss him. As will leaned towards her she grinned. "Just DMT's then?"

Will was about to protest but Charli pressed her lips to his quickly. He was taken slightly off guard but soon relaxed into it. He pulled her closer, sliding his arms around her while she slipped one hand up into his hair.

"CHARLI!" Came the yell from the kitchen, and two pulled apart reluctantly. "Charli! We need you!" The cry came from the kitchen, where they had left Alan, Djaq, Much and John to make breakfast. Taking Will's hand, Charli threw open the door and swore. Black smoke was billowing into the room from the microwave, the outlaws cowering in the corner. John had cupped his hands into the sink and was about to throw water on the flames.

"DONT!" Charli cried, pulling Will into the Kitchen. "Tanya! They've set fire to my flat!" Charli ran forward and ripped the electric fire extinguisher from the wall, she quickly removed the ring pull and sprayed the microwave with white foam. Unfortunately, Little John stood in the way and so was hit in the face for the second time that day.

Tanya ran into the kitchen followed closely by Robin, both looking a little messy and flustered. They stopped short when they saw the sight before them. "What the hell happened in here?"

"They set fire to my flat!" Charli screeched. And she had been interrupted while kissing Will for a second time, but she wasn't going to say that out loud, as Alan seemed to finally be over his 'They kissed' phase.

"You left them in the kitchen alone?" Tanya shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you'd do that!"

Charli looked at Will and blushed. "I got…distracted." She looked back at Tanya and narrowed her eyes. "You're as bad as me, you sly cow!"

It was Tanya's turn to blush this time. "We'll talk later about that. In the meantime, let's get this place cleaned up and get breakfast cooked for everyone."

"And you are never going to touch my microwave again, got it!" Charli narrowed her eyes at Much.

"Micro-what?"

"That!" Charli pointed at the blackened metal object that had once been used for heating food.

Much looked down at the floor and sulked like a child. Djaq and Alan could only laugh at the mess they had caused and John looked like he was about to start hyperventilating again. Tanya stepped forward and went to remove the said burnt item when Robin stepped in for her. "Here let me." He went to take the microwave but she quickly pushed him away.

"I can manage!"

Robin looked slightly rejected, and remained at her elbow, watching as she gingerly opened the door to the microwave, and pulled out a blackened bowl. "Okay, who put the Ice-cream in the microwave?"

Both Alan and Much pointed at each other quickly before they started to argue. Tanya threw her hands in the air and yelled. "STOP!" causing each of them to quickly place their hands over their ears and cringe.

"Wow, Robin, she's really loud. You may have to gag this one," he winked. Robin shot forward, about to throttle him but Charli grabbed his collar and dragged him back.

"Enough! No fighting! At least not in Kitchen! If you want to fight, outside!" Alan and Much immediately headed out of the door, but were stopped by Tanya, who had a wooden spoon in her hand. "Oh no you don't! She wasn't serious!"

"We need to make breakfast before our group of friends here waste away," Charli said. "Tanya, can you take that microwave and throw it out? Much, Alan, Djaq and John...you go sit in the living room. Will and I will cook."

"What about me," Robin asked.

Charli frowned at him and thumbed over to Tanya. "You follow her, last time I checked."

Robin glared at her, and was just about to retort when Tanya grabbed his sleeve and pulled him across the room. "You can carry the microwave, Macho man."

"Why does she just presume that I will follow you everywhere?" He sulked after he had picked up the microwave and headed out of the kitchen along with Tanya.

"I don't know, can't imagine where she'd get an idea like what from." She grinned.

Breakfast was eaten in silence, the outlaws having been introduced to the wonders of breakfast cereal, Charli not wanting to risk more cooking in her fragile kitchen just yet. But the silence was interrupted by a weird bleeping noise, appearing to be coming from a flat metal thing on a table in the far corner.

"Email!" Charli grinned, jumping to her feet. "Someone loves me!"

Tanya rolled her eyes, Will on the other hand looked slightly worried. "Someone loves her?"

"It's a figure of speech, you'll get used to it," she patted his hand when he looked like he was about to turn the table over in rage.

Charli picked up her laptop and brought it over to the table and took her seat again.

Her fingers tapping at the keys, she was quiet for a moment, and then her face lit up.

"Tanya, pick a country in Europe," she said, a grin forming on her face as she counted something on her fingers.

"Montenegro!" The men all spoke at the same time, obviously remembering the poker scenes quite clearly in Casino Royale.

"Okaaay…" Tanya said worriedly.

"I said Tanya! And its Serbia and Montenegro!" Charli frowned. "And why would you want to...oh. This is all your fault!" She turned to Tanya. "You and your bloody Daniel Craig."

Tanya grinned evilly. "I'm in. That's seven against one. Ha! Serbia and Montenegro it is!" She clapped her hands together before looking at Charli curiously. "Um…why exactly are we picking a European country again?"

"Because... I can get cheap all inclusive tickets to any European destination, for four nights." She grinned, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"You can't be serious!" Tanya dropped the fork she held in her hand and looked around at her friends. "You want to take these guys on a four day trip to Serbia and Montenegro? Like…abroad? ON AN AIRPLANE!"

"Well, yes to the four day trip, yes abroad, yes on an airplane and NO to Serbia and Montenegro. I'd agree to Paris!" Charli grinned. "What is there to do in Montenegro?"

"Daniel Craig?" Tanya chuckled evilly, apparent though that the humour had passed straight over the outlaws heads. "Okay," she coughed. "Paris sounds nice…romantic too."

"Where's Paris?" Robin picked up on Tanya's not to subtle hint about the city being romantic.

"Never mind where's Paris, what's an airplane?" Much looked slightly worried.

"They feed you on them," Charli reassured him, and he looked happier. "It's a big metal…thing…and you sit in it, and it flies."

"WITCHCRAFT!"

"No John physics." There was a pause and all the outlaws stared at the irritated look from Tanya. Then…

"Witchcraft!"

Charli giggled, she privately agreed with him. Her laugh was enough to earn her a poke in the arm from Tanya, who had got to her feet and was no peering over her shoulder.

"Holy Shit, you were serious!"

"Duh!" That earned her another poke, and this time she squealed, causing all the outlaws to look at her in concern.

"Girls," Robin raised his eyebrows. "Please!" Tanya rolled her eyes and flicked a bit of cornflake at him. "Where's Paris?"

"France," Charli got up and went to get the globe. When she returned, Tanya had stolen her seat and was reading through the emails. Sighing, Charli perched on Wills knees, and spun the globe around in her hands. "There!"

"That's not very far!" Alan crowded round to see. "Where else could we go? How about here?"

"That's Australia, Alan. Definitely not Europe." The man gave a sheepish grin.

"What about there?"

"America. Not Europe."

"There?"

"We could keep doing this all day, what are the chances that you're going to pick a country that's actually in Europe?"

The young man glared at her, and then whined. "Djaq, Charli is being mean!"

"Good for her," Djaq said from where she was sat across the table, grinning. Alan gaped.

"Lets go there," Will pointed to a small dot on the map.

"Gibraltar?" Tanya had finished reading the email, and had now joined in the conversation. "A big rock?"

"Oh…"

"No! That's a good idea!" Charli gasped, an idea in her head.

"Your just defending him because you lur-"

"Tanya!" Charli chucked her spoon at the girl before she completed the question. Tanya ducked, and Robin caught the spoon. "I'm serious. We could stay in Spain, and walk into Gibraltar, it's easy enough. And, we can get on a ferry and go across to Africa for the day as well."

"Africa?"

"The place you wanted to go the third time Alan," Charli informed him as everyone peered at the globe to find Gibraltar and Spain.

"Uh. Charli?" Tanya had found the one flaw in her brilliant plan. Well, besides choosing where to go, getting the Outlaws on the airplane, and then surviving the four days. "I hate to burst the massive, happy bubble that's just appeared." The guys gave her a strange look "But what about Passports?" She was met by seven blank stares. And then…

"Oh Shit." That, of course, was Charli. There were a few minutes of silence, in which the outlaws seemed to get even more confused. "We could do a Vicky Pollard" Charli suggested weakly.

"Draw our passports?"

"Or pretend that 'they burned them because they didn't even need them'," Tanya blinked.

"Yeah. That will work." Tanya deadpanned. Charli's grin faded as she tried to think of a useable solution. A second later, she reached out and caught Tanya's arm, causing the girl to gasp.

"Fran!"

"What about Fran?"

"Fran knows that person, who knows that person, who knows that person…" Charli paused. "Yeah, that's right. She knows a person who somehow knows someone who works at the passport place. And Fran owes me a favour," Tanya shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Well it's worth a try, right?" Charli defended as she pulled out her mobile phone.

Alan nudged Djaq and grinned. Charli flipped the phone open and then sighed.

"That's mature." She looked pointedly at Alan, showing the phone to Tanya, who snickered. "But you got the wrong phone."

Alan frowned. The text message on Charli's phone read, "You love Robin." While Alan pulled his phone out and, with a hopeful look on his face, began pressing the buttons, Charli deleted the message and searched her contacts list for Fran's number.