Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Twenty Eight: The Airport
Rating: PG-13
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.
Bags packed, and ready to go, the Outlaws crowded excitedly into the two vehicles. The amount of luggage Charli and Tanya had between them meant that they were not going to fit in two cars, and so Charli's car finally had a purpose. Will and Little John crammed themselves in, while Robin, Much, Alan and Djaq fit comfortably in the back of Tanya's.
The dilemma with the passports had been sorted out with a relatively mild amount of stress, involving a slight amount of hair pulling, swearing and shouting, but Charli had finally persuaded Fran to call in a large amount of favours. Quick photograph emailing (after persuading John that the digital camera was not a witches familiar and was not going to hurt him) later and the deed was done. They had Fran's word that the passports would be waiting for them in the airport.
"Robin Hood Airport!" Robin gave a yell, the grin on his face getting wider. "See! I'm famous!" Tanya groaned as she pulled into the car park, Charli close behind her. Robin jumped out the car and bounded over to point it out to Charli.
"Save it!" She held a hand up. "Your on about the Airport, right? I knew we should have gone to London!" Robin grinned, and took hold of her, practically pulling her towards Tanya.
"Tanya, your outlaw is manhandling me!" Charli yelled, much to the amusement of the others, who had managed to climb out of the car without falling over, which reminded Tanya that she had yet to tell them of Much's driving antics.
"Get your own!" Tanya defended Robin, as Will and John came over carrying the bags.
Passports handed out, checked in and almost ready to go, Charli and Tanya had collapsed in the airport's Starbucks to de-stress over a cup full of caffeine, while the outlaws, under strict instructions about what they could and could not do, had been allowed to wander around the airport.
They stayed in a group of six, edging nervously around the departure lounge. They had had a rather traumatic experience going through security, during which John had almost been strip searched ("I am not walking through that! Witchcraft!) And Alan had almost got into incredible trouble when his tongue ran away with him during the standard "you packed these bags yourselves?" questions.
"What should we do?" Much looked around as holidaymakers and stressed businessmen and woman rushed passed them.
"Look around and don't cause trouble" Alan quoted. "So lets look around!"
"I'm hungry," Djaq whined. Robin reached out and placed his hand on Much's chest, looking a little concerned.
"What are you doing?" Much pushed him away.
"Checking that you're alive. Djaq appears to be channelling you," Robin grinned wryly.
"Very funny Robin." Much muttered, looking a little put out. It soon became obvious that Djaq was hungry when her stomach rumbled.
"Food it is," John nodded, and then looked around. "There," He pointed at the big, yellow, plastic M sign, and together the outlaws headed towards the McDonalds.
The outlaws all shuffled into the restaurant, each unsure of what to do. They all stood there for a while, until a small girl, who was waiting on the other side of the counter, called them forward. "Can I help you?"
Much took a step forward, while the others looked up at the menu. Grinning down at the girl, Much cheerfully asked for everything on the menu.
"Excuse me?" The girl blinked several times.
"I said, I'll take one of each. A little of everything. Maybe two of those," he pointed at the large picture of a Cadbury Mc Flurry. "In fact make it three-"
Alan quickly stepped forward and smiled politely at the cashier. "He'll just have a Big Mac meal." He then pulled Much to one side and hissed. "How much money do you think we have, you pig!"
"Charli's got a lot," Much said, looking upset. "Can I at least have one of them?" He pointed back at the Ice-cream picture, looking longingly at it. Alan rolled his eyes in a pretty good impression of Charli, and nodded.
"In fact," Alan stepped forward. "Can we just have six Big Mac meals…and one of those Mc Flurry things for the animal here," he thumbed over to Much. He was about to get the money together to pay the girl when he noticed her staring over his shoulder, mouth wide open. Alan turned to see if the guys had maybe wrecked the place, but to his surprise, they were all still stood waiting. He looked back at the girl again and followed the exact direction of her eyes; she seemed to be staring at Robin and Will.
"Like what you see?" Alan teased.
The girl blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry, what was your order sir?" She glanced back up at Robin and Will. Alan rolled his eyes.
"Six Big Mac meals and a Mc Flurry," Robin stepped forward suddenly, smirking. The girl opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. Alan, becoming more and more frustrated by the minute, elbowed him in the stomach. "Back off Locksley! I'd like to eat today."
"Remember Tanya?" Djaq grabbed the winded mans arm and pulled him away from the counter.
"Did you get that this time?" Alan asked sarcastically, and the girl sent him an embarrassed glance.
She took the money from him and went about her business, placing all the food on the tray bit by bit. Much was already pinching the fries and sticking his finger into the ice-cream to taste it. Robin had joined the rest of the outlaws again and was now in the process of getting a grilling from Little John about his behaviour. "I was only jesting," he defended. "The girl is only a child!"
"Which is why you shouldn't be jesting," Tanya and Charli appeared behind them, clutching WHSmith bags. "It could get you arrested!"
Charli, meanwhile, was more interested in the food. "You do know they are going to feed you on the plane, right? And Big Macs? Yuck!"
"Why? What is wrong with a Big Mac?" Alan suddenly looked hurt, the proud look he'd had only moments ago after ordering for six people, suddenly disappearing.
"They're full of shit, that's what," she said stated. "Would you like me to tell you exactly what you're going to be eating?"
"No!" Tanya stepped in. "For the love of god, no. Just let them eat and then we can be on our way."
Charli sulked when her friend ruined her fun but she let the outlaws take a seat and, once again, devour their meals like they had never eaten before. "You not eating?" Will asked Charli and Tanya when they sat besides them, no food before them.
"No, like I said, we'll be eating on the plane so, we can wait."
"Suit yourself!" Much smirked as he bit into the Big Mac, his face lighting up. Alan, on the other side of the table, had arranged the chips so they were sticking out of his mouth, giving him the rather weird look of having yellow teeth.
The rest of the gang burst out laughing as Alan continued to mess around with his food for a while as opposed to actually eating it. It was no wonder the gang ignored him when he finally tucked in and complained that is was cold. Charli rolled her eyes and then checked her watch. "We need to be moving through to the gate. We'll be boarding soon."
"Oh, but we wanted to look around!" Much complained with his mouthful of ice-cream.
"Can you repeat that in English?" Much swallowed and repeated his sentence.
"Yeah you can have a look around once we've gone through to the gate area. You'll have about twenty minutes, half an hour maybe." Charli then looked at Tanya as if slightly worried. "Dare we leave them alone for so long though?"
Her fears were answered when Robin's eyes lit up as he thought about what they could do in half an hour. Tanya, oblivious to the mischievous look the man sat next to her was directing at Charli, nodded. "They'll be fine!"
"Yeah, and hell will freeze over!" Charli rose from the seat. "Okay, let's move to the gate then you can do whatever you like."
Tanya picked up as many trays as she could and carried the rubbish over to the bin, Robin helping her when she saw her struggling. She smiled gratefully at him as he held the bin open for her. "I hope you and your friends are going to be good," she nodded over to the rest as they shuffled out of McDonalds after Charli.
"Of course!" Robin said none to reassuringly. "What could we possibly do wrong?"
Tanya shook her head. "I'm not gonna answer that," whispered. Smiling, Robin linked his fingers through hers and pulled her after the others. Charli had already found the nearest TV screen to check the flight number. The display now read 'go to gate twenty seven'.
"Okay, this way."
She led the way down numerous corridors, the outlaws getting slightly disorientated. The corridors opened out into a large room, with large glass windows, which showed the occupants the runway and airplane holding area. The outlaws gasped as a 747 rolled serenely passed the window.
"What in the name of Allah is THAT!" Alan shouted across the room. Djaq raised an eyebrow at him at his choice of words but before anyone could answer, John said his usual, "WITCHCRAFT!"
For once though, only Charli and Tanya stared in annoyance at John, the others were staring in shock at Alan. "Allah?" Djaq asked, a delighted grin on her face. She was the only one that looked happy, Robin looked Shocked, Will slightly amused and Much scandalised.
"Well, now I see how it is!" He folded his arms across his chest. "You've been spending too much time with her! I am sure you will burn in hell for that statement."
"What?" Alan raised his hands up in defense. "It was only a figure of speech anyway."
"Figure of speech!" Much sputtered.
"You took the name of Djaq's God in vain... and she looks happy about it!" Much moaned. "This is twisted."
Robin stared at him. "That's twisted? Much, we are in 2006! What's that if not twisted?"
Much opened his mouth, but quickly closed it again when he new his Master was right. The whole issue was practically twisted. Still, to say Allah instead of God…
"So, what exactly is that?" Will asked the question this time.
"That, my friend, is what we call an Airplane. And it is what we'll be flying on to France." Tanya answered.
"How does something that big get in the air," Much breathed.
"More importantly," John asked, "How does it stay up?" Tanya groaned. This was the last thing she needed.
"Sugar," Charli grinned. "It stays up with sugar…" The outlaws stared at her. Shrugging she muttered, "well it worked on Charlie and the great glass elevator."
"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard." Tanya looked at the outlaws who seemed to have bought it, all except maybe Djaq and Will. "Suppose it will keep them happy for a while anyway."
"I thought you wanted to explore?" Charli pointed out, thumbing towards the duty free shop. "Have you still got that British money we gave you, or did you spend it all in McDonalds?"
Alan laughed. "Well, if it weren't for me, Much would have spent every last penny. But we still have…" he dug through his jeans pocket and pulled out a couple of notes and coins. "Uh…"
"You have enough," Charli said. "Just go."
The outlaws turned and ran, the McDonalds kicking in. Charli's eyes widened as she watched them running towards the first shop, which just happened to be the Body Shop.
"What do you suppose they sell in here?" Alan asked as they made their way into the store. The shelves were lined with an array of different products. There were a variety of large and small bottles, what looked to be soaps and…well smelly stuff. A lot of smelly stuff. Djaq's eyes lit up. "Oh wow," she made her way over to a table filled with perfumed goods.
The others, however, were not that impressed. Alan, peering at some weird looking lime green glop, jumped half a mile when he felt something wet being drawn on his forehead. "Djaq!" The girl grinned somewhat evilly, holding a tube of fake tan.
"Look at that!" She pointed at his forehead. "You're skin is the same colour as mine! Robin! Come look!"
Robin, who had been sifting through a basket full of fluffy sponges, stopped what he was doing to join Djaq and Alan. "What happened to your forehead?"
"See Robin!" Djaq said excitedly. "This stuff would have come in use for you during the Holy War. It would have been the perfect disguise if you had painted yourself with it."
Robin half glared at Djaq, but took the tube from her, studying it. He was interrupted by a yell from John. The big man had patiently been letting Much 'experiment with the funny tubes.' Everything was going well, until John caught sight of his face in the mirror.
"WITCHCRAFT!" He screamed. Robin rolled his eyes, tired of hearing the word. He wished sometimes that is WERE witchcraft, if only to give the man a REAL scare.
"What did you do to his face?" Will tried to hide a smile as he looked at John. Much, on the other hand was practically in hysterics. "This stuff, in these funny tubes, we have to get some!"
"You look pretty, John," Will grinned, his head popping up behind Alan, where he had retreated to hide from Much. "You should let Much do that more often, will soften you gorilla image!"
"MY GORILLA WHAT!" He rose to his full height. He was just about to make a grab for Will when a small blonde middle-aged lady stepped between the two.
"Can I help you, gentleman?" You couldn't see Little John's cheeks turning red due to the amount of make-up he was wearing, but he did blush furiously. The lady smiled at him. "That's a nice look you're sporting there, but I recommend the Autumn Sunrise lipstick, Scarlett isn't your colour."
Robin had to place his fist into his mouth to stop from crying out, the rest of the outlaws already bent over laughing. Much stepped forward, a hand full of make-up, and handed them over to the lady. "We'll take all of these, please."
Laughing too hard to protest to his purchase, Robin pulled him out of the shop, followed closely by the other hysterical men. John sulked at the back. The outlaws mooched around for a little while and where about to enter another shop names 'Dorothy Perkins' when Robin's back pocket began to vibrate. He pulled out the offending item and stared at it as if it had bitten him.
Alan shook his head and snatched it the phone out of his hands before flipping it open. "Hello."
"Where the hell are you?" Tanya's voice screamed down the phone.
Robin's eyes widened and he took the phone back. "Tanya? Is that you? Where are you? Did we miss the pair-laine?"
"Get your ass back to where you ran off from now!" Charli's voice joined Tanya's, sounding, if possible, more stressed out than Tanya's. "Now!"
Robin snapped the phone shut quickly. "We have to go, now! Do any of you remember where we are exactly? Or how to get back to the gate?"
Djaq rolled her eyes and took lead of the group. "You'd think you men would have SOME sense of direction seeing as you live in a forest surrounded by hundreds of trees that look exactly the same!"
"You live in the same forest" Robin pointed out, before realising that his sentence didn't help defend him from hers. Shrugging, he followed the group as Djaq led them back towards Tanya and Charli.
"Get your passports ready," Tanya yelled as she gathered and pushed the men into the queue for boarding.
"I don't have mine," Much patted his pockets. "I can't find it!"
"I hope you're joking me," Tanya said, a little too calmly. "Because we will be leaving with our without you."
"Don't leave me here with the Sheriff!" Much cried, tipping the contents of his pockets out onto the gate floor. Tanya raised her eyebrow at the amount of chips he had stuffed in his jeans, but before she could comment Robin gasped.
"That's right! The Sheriff and Gisborne will be here, in Nottingham. And we wont be."
"Good point." Charli added as they moved forward in the queue. "We're going to have a total Sheriff and Gisborne free four days. We can relax as much as we want to."
Robin let out a long sigh and looked up at the ceiling. "Thank God."
"Much!" Tanya called. "Hurry up!" He scooped the chips back into his pocket, Passport in hand, grinning happily.
"I hope you aren't planning on eating those," Charli grimaced.
Much looked crestfallen. "And why not? I'll have you know that back in 1192 we have hit upon hard times. YOU may take such food for granted. I, on the other hand, shall not."
"But there are plenty more where they came from," Tanya pulled him and the others towards the man stood at the desk. He was asking for boarding passes and passports but Much was not taking any notice.
"They have McDonalds in Paris?"
"They have McDonalds everywhere," Charli presented her passport and boarding pass, and then stepped through and waited for the rest to catch them up.
"Much! Stop thinking about your stomach and concentrate on the matter at hand!" Robin scolded before looking out the window at the airplane they were about to board. He gulped loudly.
"My lord! Is Mr. Macho Robin Hood actually afraid?" Tanya laughed at him.
He glared at her. "No!"
"Come on!" Charli grinned. "Baggsie the window seat!"
"Baggsie? What are you, five?" Tanya berated her as they ushered the six outlaws down another long corridor and then finally onto the plane.