Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Thirty: 111-114
Rating: PG
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.
"What do you mean they've disappeared?"
"I mean, my lord, they've disappeared. They went away early this morning and have not yet returned."
"Don't be so ridiculous, Gisborne!" Vaysey spat. "Find them! Or I'll have to find them myself and then come back and kill you."
"Well, my lord...it isn't that simple...you see, he flew away…" There was a silence as Vaysey simple stared at his right hand man.
"What do you mean, he just flew away? Hood cannot fly!"
"I mean, they went to some place called an airport, which was even named after the stupid young man, and they flew away on some kind of...carriage with wings."
"Carriages can not fly!" The Sheriff gritted his teeth. "Hood, can not fly!"
Gisborne's jaw tightened. "I know what I saw. And, my lord, it was not just they. There were hundreds of people flying."
The sheriff growled and stood up. He did not get very far, as a low branch of a tree they were sheltering under restricted his movement, and caused him to growl louder, rubbing his head.
Gisborne took a nervous step away. "Perhaps we should go back to the Hostel, where we're staying, sire?"
"I don't care about the Hostel, Gisborne! What I care about is where Robin Hood and his little friends have disappeared. What use was the threat when they are not here to be threatened! I want them found, do you hear!"
"But sire...They. Flew. Away." Gisborne said slowly. "It's impossible to find them. They could be anywhere!"
"They would still be on Earth, Gisborne! It can't be that big! Search it!"
"What if they have fallen off?"
"JUMP OFF! Do I care? A clue: No."
Gisborne growled before stalking off, knowing full well that he' d still have to wait until Robin came back anyway. Maybe the best idea would be to lie low for a while, until they did return. They still needed to formulate a plan yet; which included, one way or another, threatening Hood by using those closest to him. That plan would now have to be postponed though.
While this annoyed him somewhat, Gisborne was more depressed by the fact that he had to spend who knew how many more days with the Sheriff, who was in a foul mood and had been since landing in this time and finding out he wouldn't be able to take over the world because there wasn't a King. He would bide his time for now and, when the moment arrived, would strike.
"I don't understand why we're all stood here." Robin scratched the fluff on his chin as he shifted from one foot to the other. They had all been stood around what Tanya had called the 'conveyor belt' for a good fifteen minutes and still nothing had happened.
"We need to wait for our suitcases. Remember the large square bags we packed your clothing in to?" Tanya rolled her eyes.
"Oh that? But I thought we left them back in England, before we got on the Pairolane?"
"Airplane." Charli corrected automatically, earning her a sarcastic glare from Robin.
"Well, we did, but they put it on the airplane for us," Tanya tried to explain. "And now we have to collect it."
"Yes, I understand that now, but it's still not here," Robin continued to whine.
Tanya, who was starting to lose patience with him, stamped on his foot. "Shut up! Sometimes, when you want something, you have to wait. You of all people should understand that!"
"Ow!" Robin pouted. "That hurt! You should be more careful where you're having a tantrum!"
"It was meant to hurt!" Tanya threw up her hands in despair. "Charli, come and restrain me before I throw another tantrum on another part of his body."
Robin's eyes widened. "I beg your pardon young lady?"
"Young? You're about five minutes older than me!"
"Why don't you BOTH shut up!" Charli hissed just as the conveyor belt kicked into life. "Finally!"
The outlaws all edged there way forward when they saw the luggage begin to emerge through the hole with the flaps. "Oh look! There's one of mine!" Much jumped up and down. He made to run forward to grab the case but Charli quickly pulled him back.
"No Much, that's not yours."
"What do you mean? Mine was black and that size..." Much looked slightly dejected. Charli grinned as she spotted a case that was actually theirs and made her way to the conveyer belt to pull it off.
"How do you know that's ours?" Much challenged. Charli hauled the case over and showed him the big blue X she had painted on the case in nail varnish.
"Oh..." he mumbled. "Right."
"I see another," Tanya headed to her large blue case and tried to haul it off. It was a little heavier than she'd expected causing her to stumble over slightly.
"Here let me," Alan, who appeared beside her, took the case and placed it down on its wheels.
"Oh, thanks Alan," she smiled graciously.
"I got it," Robin appeared too and tried to take the luggage.
"No, I do." Alan shoved him away.
"No. Move." Robin tugged the suitcase out of Alan's hand, and the catch failed, causing the case to burst open and sending a shower of clothes over Alan and Robin.
Tanya stared in shock, open mouthed, and Charli would have been as well, had she not collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter a split second after the disaster had occurred. There was just something funny about the site of Robin Hood with a -bikini top hanging off his ear and a bemused expression on his face.
Tanya growled and began to pick the clothing up, angered and slightly embarrassed that some of her underwear was scattered about too. "Maybe things would have been easier if you'd just left me too it. You two, TRYING to be chivalrous, causes more trouble than help."
"Sorry," Robin mumbled as he bent to help her. He handed her a pair of scantly clad panties and Tanya, now turning a deep shade of purple, snatched then off him. "Just leave it, I can manage!"
Alan, slightly amused, picked up a bra and held it up. "Not been funny, but…where does this go?"
"She said just leave it!" Robin snatched it off him this time and threw it back into the case. "Where DOES it go, by the way?"
Tanya, by now, had turned a deep shade of scarlet, and Charli matched the colour. However, the reasons were very different. Tanya kicked the hysterical girl, who stopped laughing only to say "ow" and then resumed her giggling.
"It doesn't matter," Tanya scrabbled around, picking up various bits of clothing and stuffing them back into the case, before struggling to close it. "Stop Laughing!"
Charli tried her damned hardest to calm down but it was almost impossible. The rest of the outlaws were chuckling away to themselves too, just the sight of Robin and Alan covered in clothing. "Hey! There are a some more over there!" Charli pointed to a few more cases. "Will, come help me. I trust you not to destroy my bags."
Will made his way over and between him, Charli, Little John and Much they lifted the cases down and wheeled them away. Tanya, Alan, Robin and now Djaq, stood to one side, still debating over the earlier occurrence and what exactly it was that Alan had picked up and enquired about.
"Will you four just quit it? We only have four days here in Paris and I do not want to waste a day of it here in the airport. Alan, Robin, come and get some cases!"
The two men begrudgingly shuffled forward and assisted with the baggage and within a few minutes they were on their way. They stepped outside the main doors of Charles De Gaulle and into the slightly warm Parisian air.
"Okay my friends," Robin suddenly piped up. "We need to make sure that we all stick together. The last thing I need is for us all to be split up and separated in this strange place."
The other seven people looked at Robin like he had lost the plot. "Who died and made you the responsible one all of a sudden. You've been acting like a child and wondering off since you arrived last week and now you're worried about us sticking together?"
Robin raised and eye brow at her. "Forgive me, but I am Robin Of Locksley, leader of these men. Responsible for all-"
"Yeah, yeah," Charli cut him off. "Okay, we need a taxi!"
"Okay Miss. You have four twin rooms altogether. That's rooms 111 to 114." The receptionist said in French.
"Easy enough, so far," Charli murmured as she took the keys from the receptionist. "Let's go people."
They had arrived at the hotel about fifteen minutes previously and had just checked in. Now Tanya and Charli wanted to settle the outlaws in and get unpacked before they went out and explored the city itself.
"Not being funny, but this is a little posh ain't it?" Alan's eyes wondered around the lobby as they stood waiting for the elevator.
"Hardly posh," Robin snorted.
Alan gave him a scornful look. "Excuse me Mr. Earl of bloody Huntington. Not all of us have the luxury of such pleasures in life. People like me have had to sleep in the forest since infancy."
Robin laughed and pointed at the man. "You, Alan A Dale, have not slept in the forest since infancy. You could talk your way into any persons home or inn any day."
Alan shrugged, partly agreeing. "Well yeah, but still, I have never stayed anywhere like this before."
"Robins right," Tanya chuckled. "This is only a small cheap hotel. Not a five star one. It's hardly posh."
Alan rolled his eyes. "Then you are as snobby as he his then. You two should be a match made in heaven."
The elevator door sprung open and Tanya and Charli stepped in. They turned to find their six friends stood staring blankly at them. "Come on," Charli placed her hand over the door to hold it open. "We ain't got all day."
"But there is nothing in there. The room leads nowhere." Much stated. The rest of the group nodded in agreement.
Tanya laughed. "It is not a room, it's an elevator. It takes you up and down to which ever floor you like."
"Really?" Will stepped forward, looking suddenly intrigued. "How does it work?"
"Just a series of different mechanisms that move the lift up and down," Charli explained. "Step inside and try it."
Little John had paled slightly. "It's a moving room?"
"No, it's not a room. Just an elevator." Tanya, who was beginning to lose patience, stepped out of the lift and dragged them all in. "It doesn't bite. It won't kill you, well…not unless it falls but…that's not going to happen."
"What do you mean if it falls?" Alan's voice raised a few decibels.
"Well done, Tanya." Charli berated her friend. "As if they're not paranoid enough."
The elevator doors closed and the lift began its ascent. Little John clung to the railing and pressed himself as far into the corner as possible. Djaq, who didn't seem to be fazed at all, nursed Alan who looked like he was going to be sick. Will seemed to be studying the lift, extremely fascinated by the whole thing. Much had tucked into his pockets and seemed to be nibbling away at the now half moldy chips he'd stuffed in there earlier. Robin seemed to be smiling, a far off look on his face.
Before Tanya could enquire as to what had captured his attention, the elevator pinged and stopped moving. The doors slid open. Tanya stepped out and was followed by the others. Charli had a hard time convincing John that it was safe to let go of the railings and step out of the box, but she finally resolved the issue by dragging him as best she could
"Okay, 111 to 114," Tanya glanced at the room numbers as she headed down the corridor. She finally stopped outside one of the room. "Charli! Keys!" She yelled at the woman who was still trying to pull Little John down the corridor.
"I don't have them!" She shouted back. "John! You're in a corridor! There's no danger! What's wrong?"
John looked around him frightfully and then back to Charli. "We're in the corridor now? Not in that small box room anymore?"
"No, John, we left the small box room a few moments ago-"
"Charli, the receptionist gave the keys to you!" Tanya shouted over and interrupted her.
"She did?" Charli looked a little pale, letting go of John as he gazed around in astonishment. "Oh, so that's what she was saying! I thought she was asking me if I wanted a burger." Charli grinned sheepishly.
Tanya's jaw tightened. "Charli, you may find this whole thing amusing, I on the other hand, am tired and would like to get into the room and rest for an hour."
Robin came up behind her and let out a long whistle. "We need to get you some caffeine and fast."
Charli rolled her eyes. Tanya jabbed her elbow into Robin's stomach and continued addressing her friend. "And I happen to know that you speak pretty good French, so hand the keys over!"
She chucked then over and Tanya caught them quickly. She sifted through the bunch and found the one she was looking for before opening the door. Robin followed closely behind her into the room. "Whoa there tiger! This room is for Charli and me. You'll be staying next door."
"I'm not staying with you?" Robin sulked.
"No, but if you find me some coffee, I might let you come in with it...and then you can be on your way." She teased.
"Well can I have my key?" He sulked. Tanya handed the keys to him. "Sort it out between you." She disappeared into the room, letting the door shut behind her. Robin looked at Charli, who shrugged and pushed her way through to her door. Trying the handle she groaned. "Tanya! The door is self locking, and you have the key!"
The others were now squabbling over who shared with who. Robin, who made it very clear that he would rather share with Tanya, reluctantly agreed to share with Much, as he was doing anyway. Alan and Will immediately buddied up, which left Djaq. And John. Djaq was protesting, quite loudly, saying that she shouldn't have to share with a guy. She was tactfully ignoring Much, who was pointing out that she lived with the guys in the forest and shared a 'room' with John everyday, Robin was discreetly ignoring her, staring wistfully at the door Tanya had slammed shut and Charli was now hammering on; Will and Alan had disappeared.
The door finally flew open revealing a frustrated looking Tanya. "WHAT? Oh...sorry, Charli," she said sheepishly.
Charli huffed and pushed her way past Tanya and into the room. Robin, seeing his chance, copied her actions. He was half way through the door when Tanya tried to slam it shut. This resulted in knocking him half unconscious. "Ow!" He grabbed his head.
"Robin, I'm sorry but I already told you, you can't sleep in here! You have to go!"
Robin rubbed the small bump on his forehead that was already appearing. "I swear woman, you'll be the death of me. And anyway, it's not time to sleep yet, so technically I can stay in here...for the time being."
"Out!" Charli yelled, throwing a pillow at him. "Your men are causing havoc in the corridor!" Robin frowned at the new word, but Charli threw another pillow and Tanya seized the opportunity to push him out into the corridor and shut the door. Dejected, Robin turned to the outlaws.
Djaq had stopped ignoring Much, and now the two were yelling as she tried to get her point across about sharing with a man. Little John didn't seem to be too fussed about what room he slept in, he was still eyeing the elevator warily. It was just then that two doormen appeared in the corridor dragging their cases along. "Excuse me, what rooms are you staying in? So we can place the correct cases in the right rooms?"
Robin, Much, John and Djaq all looked at the two doormen blankly before they all started talking at once, Much being the loudest. "Well I want to stay with my Master, but he insists on staying with his new found lady friend. She on the other hand has some sense of decency and has refused my Master and decided to stay with her close friend instead. Djaq here does not want to stay with any man at all, although she sleeps with five men a night back in 1192. Will and Alan have disappeared to their room already I think. So-"
Much was cut off as Robin clapped his hand around his friend's mouth. "Shut up Much."
He tried to continue his rant but Robin kept his hand held firmly. "If you could just leave the bags where they are. We'll sort them out, thank you."
The doormen sent Much a strange look, before placing the bags on the floor and then walking off, chattering together in French. Robin released Much, who turned and glared at him. He was about to launch a tirade, but was again cut off by Robin. "Will and Alan can't have gone to their room. I have their key. So where are they?"
Djaq rolled her eyes. "Causing trouble no doubt."
Robin let out a long sigh. "You know, I was happy a moment ago, thinking that I was going to have a relaxing four days."
Much snorted. "Impossible."
"Yes" Djaq agreed. "Much is right, for once."
"Oh don't start arguing again! Djaq, I'm sure Charli and Tanya will let you sleep on their floor if you really don't want to share," Robin stated tiredly. "But you are sharing with three guys at Charli's flat. Alan and Will will turn up, I'm sure."
Djaq opened her mouth to speak but stopped short when she realised that Robin was right; she was sharing with three other men back in England. "Well..." She spoke anyway. "It is the principal of the thing. Besides, I would like to spend some time with the ladies for a change. I tire of you men and your childish ways."
Robin raised his eyebrows at her. "Fine, you go ask them if you can join them. John, Much? We need to find those two, before they burn the place to the ground."
"I thought you said -"
"I know what I said. But now I'm saying this. We need to find them."
"Talk about unpredictable," Much murmured under his breath, still loud enough to be heard though.
"Hey! I'll give you unpredictable!" Robin slapped him round the back of the head. "John, can you take the cases into the rooms? Much, Djaq and I will return shortly, after we've found Alan and Will."
Much pouted and rubbed the back of his head. "Bully...hey we need to give Tanya and Charli their cases too."
Robin growled. "PLEASE don't make me knock on their door again. I end up injured every time I encounter Tanya."
"You love it really, " Much snorted again.
"That's not the point…" Robin told him. Much raised his eyebrow. "Fine, I'll do it." He grumbled, stepping up and knocking on their door.
"Locksley! That better not be you!" Tanya's voice called from the other side.
"See!" Robin turned and hissed at his friends. "She won't let me in!"
"Its me," called Much, pulling a face at Robin. "We have your cases, plus, we lost Alan and Will."
"What?"
"OW!" Robin had slapped Much round the head. "What was that for?"
"Don't tell them we have lost them, idiot!" The door swung open, and a rather peeved looking Charli appeared.
"You lost Will and Alan? How can you loose Will and Alan?"
"Well, its probably all Alan's fault," Much offered. "He's a bad influence."
"Hey!" Djaq defended him
"Shut up!" Robin cried before banging his head on the doorframe several times. He looked at Charli. "Please let me stay with you. If just to get away from these fools. I promise I won't touch Tanya. I'll do anything!" He begged.
Charli chuckled. "I do actually feel sorry for you...sometimes." She looked over his shoulder. "John, just haul the cases in here." She stepped back to allow John to struggle in with their cases, and then he retreated, Tanya following him to the door.
"Was that you banging on my door, Locksley?" She threatened.
"They lost Will and Alan," Charli interrupted before another argument could break out.
"They lost Will and-YOU LOST WILL AND ALAN!" She glared at Robin. "I thought you said you were responsible? You can't even look after you're own people!"
Robin looked slightly stung by her comment, as if he'd taken it to heart. "Now that's not fair."
"Robin, she didn't mean it like that," Djaq stepped forward from the corridor. "Let's go find them. Come on." She took his arm and began to lead him away. Much followed them too; John went to collect the other cases to deliver to the other rooms.
"Oh here," Robin turned halfway down the hallway and chucked the keys at John. "We shouldn't be too long."
John caught them and began lifting. Charli hurried from the room after Robin.
"I'm coming with you! You don't speak French or anything. You'll probably get lost or...or worse! I'm not letting you loose in Paris, France isn't ready for you yet!"
Robin looked at her, a little shocked. "I'm hoping they're still in the hotel, Charli!"
"Yes, so am I. But who knows!" She narrowed her eyes. "Let's not take any chances. For all we know, Alan was channeling Much and decided he wanted McDonalds, so he went across the street to get some. Across a road!"
"You think he crossed a road? Here?" He gulped.
Djaq followed closely behind him. "Yes, it is possible, but he is with Will remember. Will would not be so stupid."
"Alan can talk people into anything remember," Much pointed out as they stepped a little uncertainly back into the lift.
There was an uneasy silence as the elevator descended. When it pinged and opened, they stepped out, only to be met by a grinning Will and Alan, who appeared to be returning. "Okay, where have you two been?" Robin stared at them.
Alan looked at Will and then back to Robin. "Well...there was this woman and she was crying out for help. Seemed like she was in a lot of distress, so Will and I went to help her-"
"Alan, just tell them the truth. We did nothing wrong." Will looked at Robin and shrugged. "We just wanted to look around."
Robin blinked. "Well... next time, tell us? We are all going to look around together, and you just caused needless distress."
"Sorry," Will mumbled.
"Yeah, sorry...but you guys seemed to have things...under...control...up there so...yeah okay, sorry." Alan shrugged.
Charli shook her head and smiled at Will. "Is he always like this?" Will nodded at her as they walked back into the lift. Charli rolled her eyes and sighed. "This is going to be a fun four days."