Title: Outlaws2006 - Chapter Thirty Four: Give Her The Gisborne Glare
Rating: 15
Author: moonmajik and Tanya
Synopsis: Robin and his gang of outlaws, plus Guy of Gisnborne and the Sheriff, get swept 800 years into the future, to the year 2006, into the ladies bathroom of a Starbucks Coffee House. Follow their journey as they get to grips with their new surroundings. Based on the BBC's 2006 Robin Hood.
Pairings: Robin/OC, Will/OC, Alan/Djaq
Disclaimer: We do not own Robin Hood or any associated comments, such as "We go to Nottingham" or "Not being Funny, but..." Especially do not own the Sheriff. Damn. We do, however, own Charli and Tanya. In the later Chapters, there may be other characters that we own.
"Gisborne. This is not good!" The tall black clad man shot a sarcastic look at the shorter sheriff.
"What makes you say that my lord?" His dry tone was lost on the Sheriff, who continued to rant.
"We have no money, nothing to do until Hood returns, we are living in a shit hole, no one here seems afraid of me, there are no peasants to bully, and we have to find away to better Hood, since apparently he can fly now." Vaysey sighed. "And I'm hungry."
"You sound like that whelp that follows Hood around." Guy groaned. "What was his name? Much?"
"Mulch. But that's not the point. Do something Gisborne!" The Sheriff growled.
"What exactly do you envision me doing?" Guy asked behind clenched teeth. The odd couple had been sat on a large yellow grit bin since earlier that morning, and the conversation had been much of the same ever since. Passers by were staring as they walked passed, and as Gisborne's comment caused Vaysey to growl, people hurried away in alarm.
"I don't know Gisborne! Maybe terrorise some children, anything! I do not care! But if Hood is not back soon, I will kill you too!"
Guy glared, mumbling under his breath, and making a mental note to hide all the sharp objects in their room in the hostel when they returned that evening. He squinted against the mid morning sun, watching some children (feeling suddenly slightly protective of them, sending a nervous glance in the direction of the sheriff) buy an ice cream.
"My Lord... We do not have any money. They do not appear to have silver and gold coins here, sire," he continued.
"They do not appear to have much of anything from 1192 here, Gisborne." The Sheriff fumed, but Gisborne was right, they needed money, especially if they had to wait for Hood to return. "I suggest you get some."
Gisborne's jaw tightened. "And how, my lord, do you propose we go about that?"
"I don't know!" Vaysey suddenly jumped off the yellow grit bin and slapped Gisborne round the back of the head. "But if it means getting down on your hands and knees and scrubbing inn floors, then I suggest you do it! How is it that Robin Hood and his chums are having the time of their lives and we're mewling around like complete twits!"
Having no answer to that, Gisborne went back to sitting moodily on the grit bin, and glaring back at passers by. Why was it always his job to do? If he wasn't in 1192, and if he wasn't sitting on an uncomfortable, bright yellow object, then he would have considered mutiny. Or at least storming off to throw a suitable temper tantrum...
He looked around him, noting the passers as they went about their daily business. He frowned at their strange ways, their strange clothing and just the strangeness in general. What had the world come to, he thought, as a young woman walked past wearing the shortest dress he had ever seen in his life? His eyes followed her all the way down the road…well mainly her legs.
She suddenly stopped and turned around, tugging at her hair. Scanning the crowd, her eyes fell on the two men. Her expression widened, and she began to hurry towards them.
Gisborne turned around, thinking that maybe she was looking at someone beyond them; he was wrong. He raised his eyebrows in surprise when she finally approached them and let out a huge sigh. "You! You'll do! What's your name?"
Vaysey looked from the woman, to Gisborne, and then back to the woman again. "You know her? Because she's getting on my nerves already. Get rid of her."
Gisborne ignored Vaysey for the moment and smirked down at the lady, well, mainly her legs. "I am Guy of Gisborne, and this here is Vaysey, the Sheriff of Nottingham. Now, what can we do you for?"
The woman faltered slightly at their titles, but Guy had to admire her ability to remain calm under the death glare she was receiving from his liege. "I'm Manny. I need your help."
Vaysey jumped forward quickly. "Help? And would this help involve payment? Oh, and have you seen Robin Hood? Apparently he flew away."
Manny took a step back, a look of fear crossing her face for a brief moment. Gisborne rolled his eyes. "And how are we supposed to help you."
Turning his attention to the (more or less) sane looking man in black leather, Manny hurried to explain. "I am shooting an advertisement for a Harley, and my model just quit. I'm on a deadline, and you just happened to be here. You even have your own outfit."
Gisborne looked down at his attire and frowned. What on earth was she talking about? Her model just quit? Advertisement for a Harley? What in heavens name was a Hurley? "Um..." He was a loss for words.
"Just come with me." She looked at Vaysey. "And yes, it will involve payment."
"He'll do it!" The Sheriff jumped up. "And I can watch?"
"What ever floats your boat."
"I do not have a boat."
Manny giggled. "Oh well at least you have a sense of humour. Excellent. Let's go." She grabbed the two men by their sleeves and began to pull them down the road. Too surprised to protest that much, the men didn't kick up that much of a fuss, apart from the periodical yelling of the sheriff to "unhand me, I'm practically royal" to which Manny didn't seem to bothered.
Instead she looked over her shoulder at them and said, "Now I get it! That's why you mentioned Robin Hood before. You must be actors! You have to be! You do it so well. I didn't know they were working on a new Robin Hood film..." she muttered away.
"Robin Hood!" Vaysey sputtered as she continued to drag him along.
"Yes, Robin Hood." Manny sighed. "This is going to be a long day, isn't it? I can sense it. In here!" Manny pulled the two men up some steps and into a small studio.
"Where is the gold?" Vaysey said before jumping up and down in joy. "Oh I see the silver!" He exclaimed, running over to another radiator that was attached to the studio wall.
"What is that?" Gisborne pointed, ignoring the Sheriff.
"That, my new found friend, is the Harley. A guy dressed the way you are MUST have ridden on one before. This is your hog for the day."
Gisborne's heads snapped round at her and his eyes flashed dangerously. "Pig?"
"No. Motorbike! God, where have you guys come from, the dark ages?" Manny picked up her camera, and aimed it at Gisborne, who jumped away.
"Witchcraft!"
"Gisborne! We are the bad guys! The evil ones! We like Witchcraft!"
"We do?" Gisborne eyed the camera warily. "We do."
"Did anyone ever tell you how good you look in this leather? You should wear it more often." Manny mentioned.
Vaysey grunted. "That's all he ever wears. Never even changes his shirt." He grumbled.
Guy rolled his eyes. "Here we go again. My Lord, I do change my shirt. I just have a lot of shirts that look similar."
"Do not lie Gisborne!"
"Uh hem!" Manny coughed, interrupting the two of them. "Shall we get started?" She motioned over to the bike. Gisborne stood there, watching her.
"Come on!"
"What? I do not understand!" He said through gritted teeth. The sheriff cackled.
"Get onto the bike." She explained.
"She means the pig," Vaysey sniggered.
"It's a HARLEY!" Manny sighed in frustration before taking Guy by the sleeve and dragging him over.
"Hey! I could have you hung for that!"
"Hung? I don't think so buddy. Now just sit there. Be natural." Manny pushed him onto the bike. "We will take some single shots of you, and then get Saira in."
"Saira?"
"The other model." Manny sighed, raising her camera.
She took several shots of him, from many different angles, Gisborne blinking back at her in utter bewilderment. She shot for about three or four minutes before placing the camera down and running her hands through her hair. "Okay, you look good but there's just something missing. I think it's your facial expressions. You need to be a little more smoldering, tempting. Right now you just look like a goldfish. Come on, you're a good-looking man. Give me your sexiest stare."
Vaysey burst out laughing. "Come on Gisborne. Give her the Gisborne Glare! Or better yet, pretend she is Marian and give her that come hither glance you practice when you think no one is looking!"
Guy turned to glare incredulously at him, narrowing his eyes. "Shut. Up." He said through his teeth.
"Oh wow," came another voice from behind them all. The two men looked over to the door to see a woman leaning in the doorframe. "Where did you find HIM, Manny?" She smirked. Pushing herself away from the door, she headed over to Guy and introduced herself. "I'm Saira by the way." She grinned before unbuttoning her coat and letting it drop to the floor. Gisborne practically fell off the bike when she was revealed to be wearing nothing but a bikini.
"Where are your clothes?" He gulped.
The blonde girl frowned at him. "What do you mean? I'm wearing them."
"Errrr," Gisborne now closely resembled a fish, as he gaped at Saira.
"Oh Gisborne, close your mouth. Its embarrassing!" Vaysey snapped.
Manny laughed. "Anyone would think you'd never seen a naked woman before."
For the first time in his life, Guy of Gisborne blushed. The Sheriff couldn't help it; he burst out laughing. "Where's that Gisborne glare the Locksley peasants are so fond of now?"
"It's okay," Manny reassured him, although a little surprised at how bashful the man now seemed. "Saira, climb on, I'll start shooting." The scantily clad woman slipped on the back of the Harley and placed her arms around Guys. "Alright you two. Now look sexy."
The Sheriff, who had been chewing a fingernail, choked. Gisborne glared just as Manny took the first photograph. "I beg your pardon?"
"Look sexy! How hard is it!" Manny began to grow frustrated. "Do it or I won't pay you!"
The smile dropped from Vaysey's face. "Look sexy Gisborne! Or I'll come over there and do it myself!"
"Oh no you won't!" Manny glared at him. "Go back to hugging the radiator, if you insist on being here!"
"The what?" Vaysey pulled a face at her. He sputtered out a few words of astonishment when Manny ignored him, something people rarely did.
"Just a few more shots with Saira and then you're done!" She said to Guy, who was still sat on the bike uncomfortably.
"Saira..." Manny lowered the camera and looked thoughtful. "Maybe, for the last few... if we do the kissing thing?"
"Kissing?" Guy, once again, nearly fell off the bike. Vaysey, on the other hand, burst into laughter again. "I hope you'll pay us more gold for that."
"I'm not paying you gold." Manny shot him a dirty look. "Yes, Kissing. Saira, care to demonstrate?"
The girl did not hesitate once as she turned herself on the bike to face Gisborne. Taking his face in her hands, she expertly placed her lips against him and kissed him rather deeply.
Gisborne froze. Vaysey simple rolled his eyes. Manny started clicking away on her camera, and after a little while, when it became clear to Gisborne that Saira was not going to pull away, he relaxed, taking hold of her waist.
Vaysey's jaw dropped to the floor. "Gisborne! Are you ENJOYING that?"
Grinning, he pulled Saira even closer. It was time he got to have some fun while the Sheriff stood on the sidelines. Manny called, appreciatively. "That's good. That's a good smile, hold it!"
Gisborne had no idea why he was doing this, but for some reason things had just gone from very uncomfortable to extremely interesting in a matter of minutes. And the fact that he would get gold for it, or whatever they used in this god-forsaken year, was an added bonus.
Not to mention he had felt rather attracted to Saira, but then, who wouldn't, with the amount of flesh she was showing. The girl was now practically sat in his lap, one hand in his hair, and Manny was getting uncomfortably close with the camera. One thing was for sure, women in 1192 did NOT act like this...not that he was complaining.
"That's it guys, let me see some RAW ANIMAL INSTINCT!"
Gisborne started when Manny shouted. He was not sure exactly what she meant, but Saira seemed to. She pushed herself closer into his body and Gisborne reacted like any normal hot-blooded male would have. Even Manny's eyes widened this time as the two of them got more than a little steamy. Gisborne could honestly say that he had NEVER been kissed like this before.
"That is ENOUGH!" Vaysey stormed over, pushing him off the bike along with Saira. "Honestly! Getting paid to frolic around with a woman. Sometimes I think I know you, but obviously not Gisborne! Let's get the gold and go, before I decide to kill someone else besides Hood!"
Saira, looking a little scared, hid behind Guy as he picked himself up, glaring at Vaysey. Why did the Sheriff always have to spoil his fun?
"Do you have to leave so soon?" Manny looked disappointed. "I have many more shoots coming up, I think you'd be perfect."
"We do not have time to 'shoot', or whatever it is you're doing with that...thing in your hand that flashes every second. Gisborne and I have some very important business to discuss."
Gisborne, with a little more persuasion, eventually agreed with the Sheriff. "He is right. We must be on our way."
"Maybe you and I could go for a drink sometime, ey?" Saira winked at him.
Gisborne raised an eyebrow, and was just about to reply when Vaysey stormed over. "Bored now! Can we have our gold please?"
Manny sighed. "Well I guess so. I can't make you do any more work, and you have done me a favour so..." she reached into her bag and produced a wallet full of notes.
Vaysey stepped forward greedily, but Gisborne plucked the notes from Manny's hand. "Mine, I think."
Vaysey opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally managed a few words. "Gisborne! No! I am the law! Money! Mine!"
"I earned it!" Guy protested, his resolve to stand up to the Sheriff fading quickly.
"By molesting a woman!" Vaysey exploded. "Which I could have you arrested for!"
"Arrested! I didn't see her complaining!" Gisborne protested, hiding the money behind his back when the Sheriff tried to take it from him.
"Well she couldn't could she, not with your tongue down her throat!" Vaysey made another grab for the money before giving up completely. Gisborne sulked like a five year old as he was dragged from the studio by the Sheriff, but not before turning his head on more time to smile at Saira.
"Come on Gisborne!" Vaysey spat. He was pulled down the steps by the seething man, and as soon as they hit the street, was seized by two hands and shaken. Hard. "What is the matter with you! You lost sight of our goal. Which was?"
"Too get money."
"TOO GET HOOD!"
"Oh...of course," he shook his head suddenly, as if ridding himself of all 'womanly' thoughts. "Hood." He sneered.
"Good, now Gisborne," he began to walk, expecting the man to follow. "Sooner or later, the man WILL return, and we need to be ready. It is about time we started to formulate some kind of plan."
"I thought we were going to kidnap Tarli and Chanya...I mean, Charli and Tanya?" Gisborne frowned. "Are we changing the plan?"
"NO YOU DUNDERHEAD!" He yelled causing Guy to jump. He took several deep breaths before continuing. "We still go ahead with this plan. What we need is..." He rubbed his hands together in thought. "Yes...what we need is to think of HOW we're going to go about it. We need details, Gisborne. Details!"
"Why don't we just lure them out into the street, and then grab them?" Gisborne suggested, examining the money. It had been a long time since he had eaten, and there was a stall on the street only a few feet away that sold something which looked suspiciously like food...
"Yes Gisborne...good idea...now a way to lure them," he chewed on his lip. "How about...GOLD!"
"Sire, I am sure they have a lot of money." Gisborne pointed out. "They just flew. How expensive do you think that is to learn?"
Vaysey's jaw tightened. "People. Do. Not. Fly. So...how about...that thing they ride around in...that-"
"Car." Gisborne deadpanned as he continued to study the money.
"Yes, the car! Excellent! People seem to value them today like their next of kin. Maybe if we caused some damage to Charli's car, they will come out to investigate."
"You want to do some damage to one of those?" Gisborne pointed at one of the metal-framed objects hurtling down the middle of the road, looking slightly pale. "Don't you think it might hit back?"
"Are you answering me back, Gisborne?" Vaysey warned. "Because you know perfectly well what I mean. At night, when it is not in motion. We will damage it then. Make some loud noise. They will come running."
"And what of Hood and his men? What if they come running too? We will then be out numbered."
"But they don't have their weapons. And if I know Hood, he won't use them here either. Both advantages on our side, if they DO come out with the women, as we still have ours." The sheriff grinned gleefully. "Anyway, isn't the whole point to get Hood?" The sheriff ignored him. "If he runs out slightly earlier, all the better. Oh, idea!" Vaysey grinned happily; pleased with himself "We need to threaten the girls again."
"Yes, the thought had crossed my mind." Gisborne smirked. "When they return, maybe we can 'pay them a visit'? Scare them a little more and really touch a sore point with Robin. We could seek them out, threaten them, but not kidnap the girls right away. If we bide our time with them, it will frighten them all the more. Oh!" He clapped his hands together. "I can't wait to see the look on Hood's face."
The Sheriff rolled his eyes. "Bored now. Lets get something to eat."