In the Darkness
So sorry for the wait for this chapter, my internet had been bust. Here it is, slightly longer to try and make up for the length of time i've not updated!
Chapter 9
Severus sat at his desk at 12:30; an hour after the detention had ended, trying to drive the thoughts of Hermione Granger out of his mind. Finally he threw his quill down in frustration, he just couldn't stop thinking about her, not only her voice, but her sweet face, those doe brown eyes that almost caught a glimpse of his soul, her soft ivory skin that his own rough hands had touched. She was so innocent and pure, so fragile, so untainted by sin and corruption…
Severus slammed his fist on the desk in anger. What was making him think like this? Why was his mind giving him these thoughts, new windows in his mind shining brightly new ideas and scenarios that he was so blinded by that he couldn't shut. He tried to block them out, but each time the light would filter through the small cracks he had left open. He had to shut them, he knew he must but somewhere deep down he didn't want to. Hermione Granger, the brightest girl in his 7th year class…. He could never think of her in such a way, it was immoral and wrong… yet the sound of her sweet captivating voice played in his mind, the vision of her innocent eyes trying to find his soul, he couldn't help it, he didn't understand what he was thinking or why, he just couldn't do anything about it.
He leaned back in his chair; stretch his arms slightly before standing and making his way to his private quarters. Once there, he poured himself a large glass of firewhiskey, sitting down on his large deep green sofa, holding his glass in one hand, his head in the other, gently rubbing his temples with his fingers, his face relaxing from its set frown. He took a sip from his tumbler, taking his hand from his face and looking into nothing, contemplating his thoughts and what to make of them. He drank again from his tumbler, realising then that he had in fact drunk it all. He would only have one glass per night, and would not allow himself to have anymore. He got ready for bed, slipping out of his heavy day clothes, folding them neatly over the chair, and sliding his naked body into his satin bed, letting the material glide over his rough, scarred skin. He pulled the covers over his chest as he turned on his side, resting his head on his folded arm, thinking about Hermione Granger, about her curious hold that she had on him. It would be over an hour before he finally slept, and when he did, his mind would lull his tormented mind with the voice of that angel…
Hermione closed the door behind her as she walked into the Gryfindor common room at 11:45. She had taken her time walking back from the dungeons, contemplating her thoughts of Snape, wondering what had happened down there, but mainly if it was his trailing touch over her arm that caused her to shiver….
"Ew! That's gross!" She thought to herself, "This is Snape I'm thinking of! What is wrong with me!" She tried to tell herself that it was the greasy bat that had touched her, not the mysteriously complex man whose eyes held her soul still. As she walked into the main sitting area she saw the fire which was a great roaring inferno when she had left was now smouldering embers, a few small flames refused to die, the rest were glowing coals. As a result, Harry, Seamus and Neville were huddled around it, trying to catch and hold the heat. She sat next to them, surprising them with her silent entry.
"Hey Herm, how'd it go?" Harry asked. In Hermione's mind there was no way that she could possibly begin to tell him about her night with Snape, esp. with Seamus and Neville present. She leaned back, bring her feet up on the large chair and curling up.
"It was ok. He made me clean the cauldrons."
"How many times?"
"Twice." She lied.
"Not bad. I had to clean them five times."
"I cleaned them properly the first time around, but they weren't shiny enough."
"Oh, of course, they have to be shiny!" He said sarcastically.
"Everyone else went to bed. Harry wanted to wait up for you, so me and Neville stayed up, even if Neville didn't stay awake… the thought was there." Seamus said. Hermione looked over at Neville. He was curled up on the chair, fast asleep. She smiled.
"We'd better wake him up and get him to bed."
"Yeah. I'm going up now anyway, so I'll get him up." He leaned over to Neville and grinned. "Shall I?"
"NO!" Hermione protested, "Don't be nasty. Just gently wake him up." Seamus grinned again and prodded Neville.
"Err mate, come on she's back. Get up and get your arse to bed you lazy git!" Neville opened his eyes and looked at Hermione.
"Oh, sorry, I was waiting up for you…"
"I know Neville, thanks. Go up to bed, I'll see you in the morning." Neville nodded in approval, got up and stumbled to bed, turning and giving a brief wave as a goodnight. Seamus stood after him and followed him but turned to face Harry and Hermione.
"Night you two. See you in the morning."
"Night Seamus." Hermione replied. Seamus stood looking at them both. "What?" She asked.
"Nothing. I was just thinking, you two would make a great couple. Night." And with that he turned and head to bed, leaving Harry and Hermione alone. Harry looked at Hermione.
"We get that a lot."
"Yeah. Strange really. Just because we're really good mates…"
"Yeah. Suppose so. So how was Snape? Did he put you down more than 15 times?" Hermione looked at him, contemplating if she should tell him or not. "What's wrong? If you wanna say something, say it!"
"What?"
"You look like you need to say something."
"How can you tell?"
"Dunno. Just can. I've been one of your best mates for nearly seven years now. I can tell." Hermione sighed.
"Harry, this is really important to me, can I trust you?"
"You know you can Herm. I would never tell anyone anything that you didn't want me to." She took a deep breath.
"I don't know how to put it, I don't fully understand it myself… but… I think that I… well… I saw a different side to Snape…"
"What? You mean one that wasn't Gryfindor hating?"
"Harry, please. I'm being serious. I don't know, I just did."
"In what way?"
"Well, I had a go at him…"
"Oh nice one! What did you say?" She sighed.
"Harry it's a long story that I haven't been telling you. I didn't want you to know because… I don't know why… but anyway, no-one else but Snape knows, and now you. I can trust you?"
"Of course Herm. You know it."
"Well, at night, when I can't sleep, I go up to the tower and I sing. Don't ask why because I don't know, I just do, it helps me sleep. One night Snape caught me, but I ran before he could recognise me, he was outside you see, then the next night I went back and he found me again, but he let me go, so I ran, then he ran after me… oh it's all so strange, I don't know why he let me go, I suppose that he didn't know it was me, then when you mentioned that I was lucky because he didn't catch me and he heard, he knew it was me and that was why he gave me those detentions. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't, it's personal you see, and when he said why do you do it, sing I mean, I said I don't know, and he said 'I think you do', so I said something like 'If you know the answer, please share it with me because I have given you my honest answer. If that isn't good enough for you then feel free to make your own suitable answer up." Something like that."
"Wow Herm. First thing, why didn't you tell me this earlier? Second thing, what a kick ass thing to say to Snape? Did he kill you?"
"I hope not otherwise me sitting next to you would be quite a mystery. No he just said "that was uncalled for."
"As if. Nice one. Can't believe he only said that."
"I know, that's what I thought. He sighed so I looked at him, right in the eyes and I… I can't explain it… it was like, I saw something…. But I don't know what… oh I know I sounds silly, but I did, that's what I mean when I say that I saw a different side to him, I saw a man, not a horrible git teacher, a man with no joy in his life… I don't know… I sound stupid don't I?"
"No, no you don't. I know you, you see things that no-one else sees…"
"Harry be serious…"
"I am being serious! You can tell when someone is lying or is unhappy. You do it all the time with me, when I'm down and I think no-one will notice, no-one does except you. You've got this knack for things like that."
"Really?"
"Yeah! So if you say that you saw something in Snape, then I believe you. I can fully believe that he isn't happy, I mean, look at him. He lives life on his own, he's nasty and bitter…"
"… perhaps for a reason…"
"Yeah, but even so, he doesn't let anyone close. I don't just mean in a sexual way, I mean, he has no mates, you never see him down in the Three Broomsticks having a drink with a load of mates, you know? He's always on his own."
"There's something else too. I cleaned so hard…"
"… As I can imagine you doing…"
"Yeah, well, I got a cramp. A really bad one in my arm. And he… promise not to laugh?…. He came over and massaged it better." Harry's eyes widened and his lips curled into a smile.
"He massaged it better? No way, he did not…"
"He did, and it worked."
"Oh my God, I cannot believe… Ha! Wow, now that is something. He massaged it? What was he like, really rough or what? I can't believe that he touched a Gryfindor… Was he trying to break your arm? "
"No, he was really gentle, I mean it hurt because he was touching it, but he knew what he was doing, it was strange really, he really helped, and he didn't hesitate when it begun."
"How did he know that it was a cramp?"
"Probably because I screamed "Fuck" while holding my arm as I twist around in agony."
"You swore in front of him too? Oh my God, I cannot believe that you are still alive right now!"
"That's what I mean, I mean, I had a go at him, I swore at him, he massaged my arm better, I don't know, it just seems… I don't know. I just saw him in a different way that's all." A grin begun to spread across Harry's face.
"You like him don't you?"
"WHAT? Harry, please…"
"No, no, don't give me that, you do like him I can tell, the way you said that then, it was like you shamefully enjoyed it…"
"Come on Harry…"
"No, that's why you don't understand it yourself, because you don't like the thought of liking him, but you do and you can't help it…"
"Harry, keep your voice down!"
"Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You like Snape? Wow! Hey, I guess if we all look into his eyes and see this different side, we might all fall in love with him too!"
"Harry, please, listen to yourself. I do not like Snape!
"Yes, yes you do! Look at you!"
"I mean it, stop it!"
"Just admit it Herm!"
"There's nothing to admit Harry, and that's that! I saw a different side of him tonight, which is more that I can say for you, you're still acting like you're 12." Harry paused.
"Ok. If you say you don't, you don't."
"Thank you. Now, I am going to bed, it is far too late to be having this conversation! I will speak to you tomorrow when you are in a more reasonable mood!"
"I am in a good mood. I just hate it when you don't admit things to yourself, and others."
"There's nothing to admit…"
"Hermione, I won't be angry if you like him. It would just be…. Strange… it's Snape for God's Sake! I just don't understand…"
"Harry, please, there's nothing to understand. I just saw him as a man, not a horrible greasy git. He is human after all." He looked at her for a while.
"Ok Herm. I'm going to bed, see you in the morning." With a quick kiss and a teasing look, Harry left Hermione in the common room as he went to bed, considering the feeling that she had experienced for a second as Snape's touch lingered on her arm and the glimmer of emotion from the man that she had seen in his eyes.
Ok! Replies!
eknibbe- Thank you! This chapter starts to bring in ideas.. you know what i'm saying? I also love acting, did it for A Level and GCSE. Tis ace! Hope you enjoy this!
Rusty Ryan- Hello? This is the office of Mr E Edward Grey...
Jia Ren Qu- Hope that this is another to give you your fix until the next chapter, or you read a different story!
AmyLauren- Yes it does, even more so in this chappie!
Lene- Well, it has taken me FOR AGES to write this, well to update, my computer is fucked, however, love your reviews!
Fairy of Fire and Fury- SSSOOOOOO SORRY that it has taken so long for this! DON'T ABANDON ME!
SemiC- I aint too bothered about spellings or grammer. Am crap at both, however I don't like having Beta. So, if you don't like the mistakes? Don't read.
snowwhitebeauty- I don't fully know what OOC is, however, thank you?
Sea-Queen- ...Is now!
ssslytherin- Sin City rocks! Went to see Batman Begins the other day, that was good too. How hot is Christian Bale in that?
mikilio- Oh, thank you.
psychoravenclaw- Thank you!
lovinsnape- I love all reviews... I like the longer ones better, but, I just love getting all kinds of feedback from you guys!
stortee13- Thank you!