SEVEN

"Wait a minute," said Peter. "I'm not sure I understand you correctly. You're saying that this Elbert, a very low level bureaucracy demon, is actually the new Source of All Evil? I didn't know there was a new Source."

"It's kind of a long story," said Leo. "Apparently a bureaucracy demon unearthed a tradition in the Underworld that the nearest living male relative of a vanquished Source becomes the next Source. And, as it turns out, Elbert was that relative."

"Okay," said Peter, "wasn't Cole the last Source? So does that mean he was related to this Cole?"

"As we said, it's complicated," said Phoebe. "But, yes, apparently Cole was related to Elbert by marriage. Which I guess means you're related to him, too. Something like a second cousin or something like that."

"I'm related to a bureaucracy demon?" questioned Peter. "Well that's certainly different."

"What I don't understand," said Paige, "is why Elbert would take the Book of Shadows. He always seemed to like us and he was not really good at being evil. Why would he suddenly break into the manor and steal the book? He didn't strike me as being a thief."

"I don't think he did," said Phoebe. "Not really. In his mind I don't think he considered it stealing. Like Leo said, word of our 'deaths' has certainly circulated by now. I think in Elbert's mind he was doing us a favor. He knew how much regular demons wanted to get their hands on the book. I think he took to the book to keep someone else from getting it."

"That sounds like Elbert," said Piper. "The question is what did he do with it?"

"That's why other demons aren't trying to get it," said Peter. "My information is that it's been placed in a bureaucracy demon training center. As I told you, most mainstream demons avoid bureaucracy demons whenever possible. And I don't think any regular demon has ever visited a bureaucracy demon training center."

"Peter's right," said Leo. "Everything I've heard about them says that regular demons hate the bureaucracy domain. None of them have ever been there and even the demonic hierarchy would prefer they didn't even exist."

"Why doesn't this hierarchy just wipe them out?" Victor asked. "As I understand it that's what demons do. Kill off those who don't agree with them, even other demons."

"That's not much of an option," said Piper. "Bureaucracy demons can't be vanquished."

"Oh, that's a nice thought," said Victor. "Demons that can't be vanquished. Could they become a problem?"

"Only if you don't fill out their paperwork for them," said Piper, her voice filled with disgust. "Like we told you, they're only interested in their paperwork. They have no interest in good versus evil like other demons."

"Okay," said Paige, "if Elbert has the Book of Shadows, how do we get it back without letting him know we're still alive? I'm not sure it's a good idea if he finds out we aren't dead?"

"You talked about him like he was a friend," said Peter. "Couldn't you trust him to keep your secret?"

"Oh, he would never deliberately expose us," said Phoebe. "But he is a bit absentminded. It's very likely he's inadvertently let it slip that we weren't killed in that explosion."

"Not to mention he's also color blind and dyslexic," snickered Paige.

"A dyslexic demon?" questioned Victor. "That's certainly different."

"Yeah, and he has a phobia about White Lighters, too," said Piper.

"He's afraid of White Lighters?" questioned Peter. "For heaven's sake, why?"

"Who knows?" questioned Leo. "Like Phoebe said, phobias by definition are irrational fears."

"Well," said Peter, "I could go have a talk with him. After all, if he was related to Cole that means he's also related to me, even if distantly. And if he took the Book of Shadows to protect it as Piper suggested, maybe I could persuade him to give it to me."

"It's worth a try," said Piper. "At least we won't have to reveal that we are still alive. And Phoebe's right about one thing. He's real hard to dislike. He kind of reminds me of a lost puppy."

"Well, it would seem to be our only option," said Paige. "Just don't try to bully him, Peter. He spooks kind of easily and when he's nervous or frightened he has a habit of shimmering in and out. And he starts to lisp and stutter."

"Are you sure you're talking about a demon here?" questioned Victor.

"Oh, one other thing," said Phoebe. "Don't, uh, change while you're around him. He's really frightened of Belthazor. And you're other form looks exactly like Belthazor so it might be a good idea if you stayed in your human form."

"He was afraid of Cole?" Peter questioned.

"No, he was afraid of Belthazor," said Phoebe. "I know, they were practically the same but to Elbert they were very different. Just talk with him and try to be his friend. He doesn't seem to have many friends and with Cole gone he's probably real lonely right now. He could actually use a friend."

"Well, it sounds like he and I have a lot in common," said Peter. "Who knows? Maybe we actually will become friends."

"Just get the book back," said Piper. "The longer it's in the Underworld the more likely some regular demon may decide to try to get their hands on it. Or their claws. Or whatever."

"I need to know everything you know about Elbert," said Peter. "If I'm going to find him I need to know where to look and what questions to ask."

The girls and Leo told him everything they could remember about Elbert. When they were finished, Peter said he would be back as soon as he found out something, and then shimmered out of the manor.