In the Darkness
Oh my god, I inadvertently wrote the end of this story in this chapter! I now have the main part of the ending! He he, I never do that! Wow! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and i'm sorry that this is such a small chapter.
Chapter 13
Severus, you coward.
Severus glanced away from his pupil's deep stare. He walked back to his desk. His mind tried to torture him with ideas and possibilities that could come true if he only let people in, but it was no use. He didn't entertain those thoughts for a moment, expelling them from his mind and emptying it of all emotion. He sat at his desk, looking up when he was seated. She was searching his eyes. Whatever she was looking for, she wouldn't find it. Not there.
She turned suddenly and walked back to the cauldrons, turning back to see if he was looking at her. She looked disappointed when he was, and continued to do as he had told. What was she trying to find when she stared so deeply into his eyes? He's seen that hunting look many times, as his "Master" Voldemort questioned him on his loyalty to him, and his knowledge of Dumbledore's plans. He had learnt from a young age how to mask his emotions, and as a result, never gave away anything that he didn't want to be seen. So why did he find it so difficult to hide his loneliness from her? He looked up at her as she scrubbed furiously. He dismissed all thoughts of weakness and these petty questions and began looking over his papers that still needed marking. Until Hermione slammed the cloth down, resting her hands on the table. He looked up.
"Is there something wrong, Miss Granger?" He said in his deathly dangerous voice.
"No Sir." She replied.
"Then why have you stopped?" She didn't say anything. He looked back down.
"There is something wrong." She said suddenly. He looked up slowly at her again.
"Which is?" He waited impatiently for her to answer. She took a deep breath. He was expecting her to complain that her arms hurt, or that she wanted to do something else.
"Sir, I…" She began to stutter.
"Is there something desperately wrong?" She didn't answer. "Well then, get back on with cleaning and stop wasting my time." As he began to look back down she turned to face him. There was something different about her. She was obviously planning out what she was going to say. He put his quill down and looked at her intensely, waiting for her to speak. She was going to say something important. Perhaps she would sing? His heart rate quickened as he imagined this…
"I've had it with your façade." He just looked at her. That was not what he had expected. What on earth…
"Excuse me?"
"Your façade. Your mask." Still confused.
"Miss Granger…"
"You wear that cold hearted mask of indifference every day. You feel nothing. In your eyes there is no place for emotion; it is a weakness. A weakness with a price that you cannot pay. There is only you in your life, and you believe that you like it that way. But you don't. You've worn that mask for so long that you believe it is the real you. But it isn't. You feel, just like everyone else. I've seen it. You see those people with love and happiness and you envy them, secretly wishing to be them. You want someone to take you away from your solitude. Deep down you have an intense passion that you have grown to hate, tried desperately to cover up. But you can't. And it shows. I can see it, I swear I can. I don't know why, put I can see your unhappiness"
Mouth gaping silently, he listened in rapt silence as the nearly 18 year old girl told him exactly what he had hiding from, confirming his worst fears by speaking them aloud. You are alone, you old fool, you always have been, and you always will be. No-one cares for you, no-one loves you, and they never will. Your mistakes and wrong doings in the past have been punished and this is it, this morbid passing of time that you call a life, with no emotion or feeling for anyone or anything.
She was speaking to him again. What torrent of abuse what come out of her perfect mouth this time, shattering his own little ideals of himself?
"Sir, I am so sorry…"
What could he say? There was nothing to say to her. She was completely right. Everything was right. She had read him. How she had, he would never know, but she knew.
"Sir please, I am sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that, I mean, I didn't mean to say it at all"
She was right. Absolutely and completely. And he hated her for it.
"… I just wanted to help you… please…"
Silence.
"… Say something? Anything? Please? Say something"
His face gave nothing away. His breaths were short and shallow; he never broke eye contact with her. It wasn't a stare, but not a gaze. He was just looking at her. He opened his mouth wider slightly, he spoke, slowly and controlled.
"I want you to leave. Now. You do not have to serve anymore detentions with me…"
"Please Sir…"
"If anyone asks why you don't have to serve detention, you will say that I am too busy..."
"No, Sir, I can't…"
"You are in no position to say or do anything other than what I have just said. I have made myself clear. Now leave."
"I'm so sorry, please, I'm sorry…" She was crying now, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I will not ask you again… get out…"
"Please…"
"GET OUT!" He bellowed, his angered shout filling the room, echoes bouncing off the walls, the sound of his fist slamming the oak table vibrating through the wood and his arm. She was soon out of the room, leaving him with his own thoughts. But there were none. All of his thoughts were swirling around in the air, exhaled from the sweet throat of Hermione Granger. She knew him. She knew his weakness. She had seen his mask of coldness, seen through it to the pain underneath. No-one had ever done that before. Perhaps it was because no-one cared to look. Perhaps it was there; clear as day, but no-one could bear to look into his eyes long enough to see it. But she did. Those doe brown eyes ravaging his soul, exposing the lie that he had been living for him so that he could hid. And he hated her because of it. This pain was much too real now.
He smelt her sweet fragrance as she swept past him, she didn't look at him, and he didn't look at her. The door was left open as she rushed out of the room, trying to put as much distance between the dungeons and herself as quickly as possible. Severus didn't care that it was open. He simply sat at his desk, still looking forward at where she had been stood, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. His angel. His perfect little angel had broken his pretenses. How could she? He had lived in his bubble wrapped world void of emotion for so long, never heartbroken, never sad when someone died. He didn't need it, he didn't need that flaw. Yet when he saw her eyes in that terrible search for his soul it took all of his being to deign her it. She was the only one who had ever asked for it, wanted to find it. There was no logic, it had all happened so quickly and so unexpectantly. Why could he not let her have it? Why had he hidden it? It was, after all, the same woman who had calmed his senses and relaxed his soul, the very same woman who had been only moments away from begging her to release him, to take away his pain….
And now she had.
How could he hate her?
She had done exactly what he had begged her to do, release him from his shrouded world of lies. How could he hate her? She had begged to help him, and once again he had dismissed her. How could he? How could he treat her so viciously?
He looked briefly at the time; it was only 11:30. The time had passed seemingly quickly, he had spent nearly and hour pouring over his thoughts. He stood finally, returning to his quarters, his mind the worst punishment for his foolishness. As he took the glass from the cupboard and opened his bottle of firewhiskey, he suddenly stopped. All of a sudden his body was putting them back in their right places, his arms grabbing is heavy cloak, his feet moving forward at a brisk pace out of his quarters, out of the dungeons. Eventually he found himself at the foot of the staircase leading to the Gryffindor common room. He stopped and looked at the time, 11:55. He suddenly realized what his mind was telling him to do, the only thing stopping him was his logic and pride. They were soon out weighed, and he suddenly found himself walking up the stairs leading to the common room. He stopped. That wasn't where she would be.
He turned and began down the stairs and towards the Astronomy Tower.
Ok, sorry, I know that that chappie was slightly... off? But I felt like I was just repeating myself, so I kinda just hurried it along slightly! REPLIES!
Blackthornroses- That will kinda come in the next chapters... hehehe
ssslytherin- My hottest guy, well, there are many, i tend to go for the older type... but... hum... let me see, my hottest guy has to be Gerard Butler and Joaquin Phoenix. But there are LOADS of others. I'll tell you who I don't like, all those young wannabees, Justin TrouserSnake, Orlando Bloom... yak!
RainynDawn- I find it so hard to make my chapters longer, they tend to be around the 2000 word mark. This one was only 1600 I think, but I felt that it was better shorter instead of repeating myself. I have taken heed of your suggestions, andI will try my hardest to make them longer. When I started writing FanFica I think I was 12, and a typical chapter would be about 800 words long! Lol! ThanIf I could incoperate Gerry in there I would, but I can't seem to, however, I will try to let him make a cammy apperience, just for you.
AmyLauren- Please don't cry! (hands over a tissue) Here! I have more chapters for you! -smile!-
MyEmeraldEyes- Ok, I am thinking that people just like damning me now, i'm definitly off to hell! (can you tell I wrote these reviews without a spell checker?) I haven't JUST stopped!There is more...
SilverandSilent- Don't hate me! So many different things are going to happen!
Varcolaci- --sighs-- I need Snape for this story. You can have him after. I'm sorry, but you'll just have to wait a little longer. I;ve nearly finished with him. Then you can have him all to yourself... but only for an hour there are other people --such as myself-- in the queue!
Song Angel- Aw, thank you! Hope you like Snapes reaction!
stargazer starluver- Well, I did say that, it wasa big leap of faith, but I think it worked well! Hope you enjoy this one!
89- What exactly do I suck? LOL! Please be happy!
Dreamer15- Ok, what is with people damning me to hell, calling me names and telling me that I suck? I think that they are trying to tell me something... --gives dreamer15 candy and a new chapter-- Happy?
LupinLovesTonks-Thank you, i am so glad that you liked it. I think so too, thats why I tend to write both POVs!
Lene- LOVE THE REVIEW! nice and long! I have no idea what it means, some of the words look familiar, is it a smiliar language to German? I have German reletives (my nana and my father are both German) so I can speak the language.. kinda... not really... However, I think that I was a product from Hitler's regeime, you know the whole Aryan Master Race? He wanted everyone in German to have blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin? THATS ME! My mom always says that if I was in the Second World War I would have survived, my mom and sister wouldn't because they have dark hair and eyes, my sister has olive skin, and my dad has olive skin too with the dark eyes and hair. I WOULD HAVE LIVED AND GONE ON TO MAKE A LOAD OF BABIES! I find the World Wars fasinating, as you can tell! Ok, i don't think that you needed or wanted to know any of that... but hey ho! Tell me what that little phrase means!
MissAmanda- ANOTHER PERSON DAMNING ME TO HELL! There's no hope for me now! LOL! Thank you!
JameseMalfoy- Aw! Thank you!
starlightdreamer052000- I kinda got my ideas from you, thank you! Hope you enjoy!