In the Darkness

Ok, it is getting worrying. I would like to raise serious concerns for my life. I have been killed, brought back to life, threatened, gaged with a hairbrush, hit repeatedly with a meat cleaver... almost every person has called me nasty... a bisnitch, a rotten bitch...I am feeling somewhat disheartened! LOL! Man, stick a good cliffie in a story and BOOM! your head has a price! No more death threat please, or else I will be forced to hire a private detective and a body guard!

Chapter 16

Severus turned the corner and began to walk silently up the stairs leading to the tower where he knew Hermione would be. His mind was numb, his voice of reasoning silent as a forbidden longing controlled his body, a feeling never before felt surged through him. He wasn't sure what it was, it wasn't lust or an anger, or a demand. It was indescribable, just this… need, this longing that told him that there was no need for him to think this through, no need for reasoning…

The door was slightly opened as he reached the top. His years spent in death eater service had made his steps silent, so she had not heard him. He peered through the gap that the opened door provided, and watched her form against the window, watched her breathe in deeply, then exhale… he waited for her to sing… but she didn't. Why wasn't she singing?

Without thinking he pushed the door open, letting his presence be known. She spun around to face him, he knew that she wouldn't be able to see him properly, it was far to dark. He watched her intensely, looking for any changes in her. He noticed her body tense up and a faint smell of fear rose to his nostrils. She had every right to be afraid. Not many people could say the things that she had said to him and not feel his wraith. She was one of them, yet she didn't know that. She was so readable. He could almost see her mind working, thinking of all the things that he could do to her up here in this dark tower. At one time they would have tempted him, the dark giving him cover, her fear a potent aphrodisiac. This thought ran briefly through his mind and for a second he felt ashamed.

"I didn't mean to startle you." He said without thinking, his voice stretching to her.

"W, what are you doing he…" She begun, but he didn't want her to speak. He interrupted.

"I think, Miss Granger, the question is what are YOU doing here?" He said, his voice so smooth in the darkness. He watched her struggle for an answer. He stepped forward through the doorway, closing it behind him yet never looking away from her. He could feel her apprehension rise. He didn't want her to be afraid of him. He didn't want her to worry. Yet he didn't know any other way to present himself. He was automatically like this, and no matter how he tried it seemed that she was still almost afraid. "I asked a question, the least you can do is give me a reply." Nothing. He took another few steps forward as she took some back. He stopped, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable.

"W, what do you w, want?" She asked. He almost smiled at her innocence and blameless naivety. If he had wanted to harm her he would have done so by now. He was never one to mess around.

"Oh please, Miss Granger, I'm not here to hurt you. You would have known in my classroom if I had wanted to hurt you." He took a deep breath after this and exhaled, loud and controlled. "As for what I want, well, I am not entirely sure, I haven't exactly thought this through." His thoughts coming through his mouth, betraying his mind, reminding him that he had not thought this or the consequences through.

Hermione's breath hitched in her throat. He considered what he had just said. Maybe not the best thing to say considering her thoughts already. She had more than probably interpreted that wrongly.

"Why are you here?" He asked again, changing the subject back.

"I, I wanted to think." Anything that he wanted to hear.

"What about?"

"Everything."

"What else did you want to do?" She paused. He could almost hear her try to think of the right answer.

"I don't… fully understand what you mean."

"Why did you come here? For what reason?"

"To think…"

"No, Miss Granger, you did not. Tell me, what was the reason that you came here?"

"I… I don't know…" She was at a loss and he knew it.

"You don't know? Well let me help you. You came here to sing. To help you control your emotions and thoughts. Well now you are here. So sing." He stopped suddenly and replayed that last sentence in his head. He had just asked her to sing, well, told her to sing. For all that time he had worried about saying those words, and they suddenly just… came out without him even thinking about it. There. At last, he had said it. So why wasn't she singing?

"Miss Granger. Sing." He said sternly, frustration showing in his voice.

"I… I can't." No. No, that is not the right answer.

"Yes you can. Sing."

"No, I can't…" He took more steps until there were only a few feet between them.

"Sing." Please. Please, sing for me, I am asking you, I am giving myself to you, please…

"No." She said almost silently on her breath. He closed the gap between them so that she was looking at his chest as he looked down at her. He stared at her tiny form as his mind raced, thinking of how to put this across. He couldn't think, he was desperate.

"Sing." He said softly, before he could stop himself. "Please." Don't deign me. Don't turn me away, my angel, this is it, this is me, you wanted my soul so here it is, take it, anything just please…"Sing for me." He said in an almost whisper. He heard her breathe shakily as she begun to cry.

"I can't."

The words came crashing down on him, trapping him underneath him. He stared at her, his eyes begging, pleading, yet she wouldn't look at him. He had gone against everything that he had sworn himself he would never do, only for her to crush him with two simple words. He wanted to grab her and shake her, he wanted to fall to his knees and beg her, anything for that answer to change. But he knew deep down that it wouldn't. She would never. Not for him. His chest felt suddenly tight under her words as they constricted his lungs.

He couldn't breathe.

He stepped back and without thinking left the room. He walked quickly down the stairs, his mind empty and void of thoughts, just a feeling of loss that made him feel weak.

"You stupid fool," he told himself sternly. "How could you? How could you possibly believe that she would? You are weak. How could you ever think that anyone would except you, would be prepared to take you as you were… yes, admit it, you wanted her to know you, you wanted her to accept you, to look past the monster with no heart and see the man beneath it. You pathetic man, you can barely admit that to yourself. No-one will ever want to know you, you will always be alone. You are a sad, lonely, pathetic old man and you always will be…" The torment only got worse as he closed his eyes and listened to the voice that he knew was right, even though he didn't want it to be. Her two simple words which had crushed him echoed in his mind, a constant reminder that his voice was right. He was alone. He was a monster with a dark past that he would never escape from. He was a cold man with no heart, just this past that had twisted his heart. She was right.

It wasn't long before he was back to his dark home, he slid through the small gap in the opened door and stood against it as he closed it, thinking about how he could let himself become so weak. He stayed there, in the dark, struggling to breathe, trying to understand and desperately break whatever he felt or thought he held for Hermione Granger. He laughed out loud spitefully at himself. Hermione Granger. Her, of all people. Yet, as her name rang through his mind, the thoughts of stupidity and weakness that were associated with that name were now being replaced with a feeling of loss and regret.

Sorry to have to leave it there, I promise that I will update within the next few days!Ok, replies! So many of them, 31 in total!

Remusgrl01- Thank you! I must admit it was a nasty cliffie, even for me!

JameseMalofy- A stinker? Well, sorry to disapoint about the lack of intimacy in this chapter, but we must see our SevvieKins pov!

Severus-Fan- NO! No death please! Well I suppose that it doesn't matter anyway, because I have been killed and damned by so many people in the reviews for chapter 14!

ssslytherin- Thank you so much! I am nasty!

Zandra Night- (spits out hairbrush and looks at it, wondering why a hairbrush was used as a gag) I LOVE POTO too, tis ace! Snape IS sexy... don't know what it is...

musicangl07- Thank you, my dear!

Ensnared- Sorry that I haven't updated sooner! Thank you though!

Yomiko Clone- Erm... I don't know really. How old is Sevviekins suppose to be really? I will have to consider it. SUGGESTIONS WELCOME! HOW OLD IS SNAPE SUPPOSE TO BE?

Melimea- (wonders why she saw a bright light at the end of a tunnel briefly) Don't pout at me! That doesn't work... ok, yes it does. Here's another story!

silenthandmaiden- I am amazed that I am alive, that damn meat cleaver hurt! You nasty! I will finish the story enventually...

starlightdreamer052000- Aw! Thank you!

LupinLovesTonks- (laughs at you on the floor) I find it very amusing when people fall over! Sorry that this chappie doesn't go very far, the next one will, I swear it!

RainynDawn- Thank you. I love you too. Here's an update, now stop being nasty! LOL!

blackthornroses- Ew! Smooching noises? Rank. I hate them noises. Sloppy and rank. Yak.

Uberscully- You're going to hate me even more now, right? The good bit will come VERY soon! I promise!

Sparrow's Lovely Lass- Yes, a cliffie! (dun dun dun dun duuuunnnnn!) Thank you!

AzalynAngel- Sam? Huh? I know, life aint fair, is it? But hey, hold on tight, the good stuff is soon!

89- Not quite what you had in mind was it? The chapter i mean... just you wait though...

Circe- Thank you!

Lene- I am sick of people hurting me now! Have a good holiday, where you off to? Or, where have you been, because you'll probably have come back by the time this is out!

WoodElfPrincess- I am nasty! Hope you enojy!

Taylor- Dirty rotten bitch! If I wasn't so used to hearing that I might have been inclined to be offened! But i'm not. Not many things do. Hope you like!

Sorceress Black- That doesn't sound nice. I am sorry for your loss, whatever it is/was/you know what I mean. Glad you like it! THANK YOU!

Deadly Storm- LOL! Like the little added line! "i'm the one who needs more!" Hope this is to your liking!

Over40Potterfan- Thing is, Alan Rickman isn't overally good looking. I mean, he isn't drop dead gorgeous like some older people. However, he has got a certain... something about him, and the voice... OH MY GOD THE VOICE... I don't know. I liked Snape from the books, the darkness of the character. I think that Rickman really brings that mysteriousness and darkness to life as Snape, add the voice, and you've got one hell of a sexy Snape! I like Luicius Malfoy though, so I can't really say... (starts dribbling) oohh bad boys... love em!

Aleatha515- Thank you!

Fairy of Fire and Fury- (hands a box of tissues) I made you cry? I am touched! Don't be sad! They will be happy, eventually! Why would I be offended? I am honestly touched. Thank you! That is like the biggest compliment in the world! Now, go and sleep, and read the rest!

Xmasgoose- I take it that you want me to update... yes? LOL, here you are hunny!

Like Totally Like- A bisnitch? Like it! Please don't kill me, I would normally be worried but I have had a load of death threats so far so it isn't a big deal really now!

krystal- Thank you so much! THat was such a nice review! Aw!

hevensdevil- Ok, calm down, take those blue tablets that the nice doctor gave you and slowly walk away from the computer... LOL! Thank you!