In The Darkness
Ok, I have a lot to say before we start. First, I would like to apologise for not updating. It has taken me a while to decide where to go with this, there were two paths that I could have gone down, and I chose this one. I was looking for someone to email and ask for advice, but didn't know who. SO THIS CHAPTER IS AN EXTREME LEAP OF FAITH... I would really like to know what you all think because I was in two minds about this... but realised that I had to update eventually.
Secondly, I will not go into detail for all those who have not read or haven't finished HPatHBP. BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE DIES? OF ALL PEOPLE! OH MY GOD! Was I the only person who booed my little eyes out at that?
In light of the new book, I would just like to point out that Severus's character in my story has not changed, even though we have found out more about his character for real. Just for the rest of this story, I am pretending that nothing happened and that he is just as he was before that book... (even though I think he is still good... I have got some AWESOME theroies...) Ahem
Ok, WARNINGS.
Detailed scenes coming up. Don't like, please don't read!
Chapter 18
"I feel that I need…. More…."
Hermione could almost feel him trying to control himself. His breath, though reasonably normal was heavily controlled and deep. She could feel the heat radiate from him, clashing with her own innocence, they were so close, she was sure that if he was to listen he would hear the pounding of her beating heart against her chest. There were no thoughts in her mind, the small voice that told her that all of this was wrong was now silent, there was nothing in this moment but the two of them. She gaze crawled slowly from his lips to his eyes, and was met by the most fierce and intense stare from those dark pools, not of anger or hurt, but passion and want… A thought passed through her mind briefly, and at any other time she would have been shocked. She was not in control of this at all, she had not been right from the start, there was nothing that she could do to stop the inevitable, nothing that she could do about it… and she liked it.
But the thought was soon expelled from her mind and a void replaced it as she felt warm lips, gentle and soft, press against her own. Uncertain, they lingered there, still, before slowly beginning to pull away….
She wanted to kiss them back softly as she felt the possibility of them leaving, but in such shock was she that she somehow didn't. She felt the gap between them open, and for a brief moment she opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, uncertain, hesitant, and doubtful. There was no doubt in her mind of what was going to happen, and within seconds of him parting from her, she closed the gap between them, tilting her head slightly as she kissed his lips softly, feeling his breath hitch slightly. There was only a second of doubt before he began to kiss her back, softly and gently their lips seemingly whispered against each other. She felt his fingers slide into her delicious curls, pulling her closer, the other arm wrapping itself lightly yet possessively around her waist. Instinctively she parted her mouth in reply, sliding her tongue delicately into his also parted mouth, seeking his own. When his tongue pushed firmly against hers, she couldn't hold back the slight moan that escaped her throat, and this was all he needed as a sign to deepen the kiss, the pent up passion now apparent in the rising fury of this kiss. She kissed him back, just as aggressively as he was, their hands touching and exploring each other, tongues battling fiercely against each other, his fingers puller her closer to him, his arm now wrapped firmly around her waist, pulling her tight to him. She let her hands explore, wrapping them around his neck and letting her fingers touch his surprisingly soft hair, losing them within the confines of his thick hair. She was pressed so hard against him that it hurt, trapping her breath almost, shifting against him she tried to find a less painful position. She did not expect the reaction that she got from him as he obviously felt her hips move against his… she heard his deep groan rumble in his throat, and felt a seemingly large object press into her lower of her stomach. She gasped as she realised exactly what it was that was pressing against her. The kiss seemed to stop suddenly, yet they stayed in the close proximities of each other, their breath heavy and erratic as they gazed at one another, neither knowing what to say. As he made a move to pull away from her, she felt him press slightly harder against her by accident, her eyes shutting briefly.
"My God…" She said quietly. Her eyes fluttered open to see a look of disgust on his features.
"I'm sorry…." He said as he exhaled. He let go of her and pulled away before she could reach out for him.
"What for?" She asked quietly. There was a pause as he turned away from her, facing the wall.
"For all of this. I… I should not have taken advantage of you like that. I am sorry." He hung his head in disgust with himself. "You should leave. It's late."
There was only a brief moment of silence before she answered, not thinking about it but knowing that it was right.
"I don't want to."
He turned only his head so that it he was nearly looking over is shoulder, but not quite. He couldn't she her, but wanted her to know that he was serious.
"Perhaps you did not hear me. You should leave. Now."
"I don't want to though."
He turned to look at her, though his body was still facing away from her. He said nothing, only stared at her with those dark eyes. From those eyes he gave her a tiny preview of what was to come to her that night if she did not leave... the lust, the want, the rage, the anger, the hate, the pain… And it frightened her.
She glanced away from his stare, not wanting to know anymore. Yet she stayed, rooted to the spot, not out of fear, but out of defiance. She could change him, she knew that she could if he let her, he had let her in, shown her his weaknesses even though he had shown he never would…. She could do this and she knew it. Her thoughts ran wild with endless possibilities of what she could say next, and what would happen if it all went wrong… what she could do to make him understand… her mind raced to think of something… then the answer shone down clearly at her and she knew what she could do.
She looked back at him, only to see him looking away from her, the obvious disgust and self hatred painted across his pained features. She looked away for a second, gathering her composure, then, without hesitation, closer her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I will watch you In the darkness,
Show you love Will see you through…"
She paused, opening her eyes to find him looking softly at her, a gentle unreadable but somehow calm expression on his face. The fear and anger from his eyes was gone, and now replaced by a look of awe and admiration. Looking at his face, she thought that she might not be able to carry on, but without thinking, she closed her eyes again and began.
"When the bad dreams Wake you crying, I'll show you all love can do, All love can do…"
Upon that last high note she opened her eyes to see Severus's flutter shut for a split second before opening again. She began to walk slowly towards him, his breath shaky as he tried desperately to control himself once again. She got close to him again, and he closed his eyes desperately.
"Do you want me to leave?" She whispered. There was a moment's pause.
"…No." He replied. She leant in to kiss him again, pressing her lips against his, and this time there was no pause before he responded. The kiss was sweet and gentle, tongues exploring each other's mouths inquisitively, not speeding up this time, just a long, slow, sweet kiss. Severus's hand cupped her face gently as they kissed, his other hand caressing her hair as her own arms snaked around his waist, reaching up to his shoulders. It was only when she allowed herself to get slightly closer that she felt and remembered the reason that he had turned so quickly from her. Within a split second she had made her decision, and knew how far she was willing to take this. She pushed herself against his erection, and felt his body stiffen and the air quickly leave his lungs as he pulled his lips away. He looked down at her, an expression of questioning and uncertainty on his face. She cleared his mind and understanding as she kissed him again, pushing her hips slightly harder against his, hearing him moan against her lips. He pushed back gently, nearly making Hermione gasp. He felt his body straighten and his erection move against her as he did, making her balance unsteady so that she stepped backwards to regain it. It didn't take long before he gently moved her backwards towards the wall, so that she was leaning against it. He pushed his hips a little harder this time, the complimentary moan that escaped her making him push against her forcefully, the kiss beginning to get a little more heated again.
He pulled his lips harshly away from hers, turning and walking away from her.
"Go. Go now." Hermione didn't move. "Please, I can't do this. Leave. Now." Her voice seemed small and weak compared to his when she spoke.
"Please don't make me…"
"I cannot guarantee your safety should you stay. Please, go."
"What do you me…?"
"I swore I would never… not again… I cannot…"
"I don't understand." She said quietly.
"You don't have to. Just understand that I could not bear to hurt you."
"Please, just tell me…"
"Just leave. I'm sorry, but you must."
"But why…"
"Because I will not be responsible for taking another's innocence again!" He said sharply, turning to face her again to enforce the severity of the situation he felt he was in. He sighed and turned away. "I'm sorry. But you must leave."
"What do you mean…" she began, but he had stalked out of the room and into the classroom, opening and holding the door open. She followed him, tears filling in her eyes.
"You can hate me. But please realise that I am sincerely sorry." She couldn't bear to look at him, she just walked out of the room, the sound of the door closing behind her echoed through the corridors as she walked slowly back to her dorm.
Ok, you can all hate me and now hurt me to the point of near death if you so wish. But there is more to this chapter than you think. Originally it was a full on steamy sesion, but for some reason it didn't seem right... it didn't go with the story. So, I cut all that out, but now I have a very tasty, somewhat graphic sex scene just waiting to be viewed... all in good time, my little cherubs!
I don't normally ask too much, but PLEASE tell me what you think of this chapter! I was very uncertain about it, and might even change it... please tell me!
REPLIES!
oo-la-la- Sorry to confuse you, I know that it can be annoying to read the same stuff over again! Hope you like this!
Gwenny- I can tell you, there was more than a kiss! It was good, even if I do say so myself! all in good time!
Melimea- Nope, I had never done an intimate scene! And this was my first graphicish kissing scene! please tell me what you think!
krystal89- You are one of the few people who like the past few chapter's being from both POV. Thank you!
I Love Nerds 919- Cliffies are ace, I love em! (as you can tell) This isn't a cliffie I don't think... or at least it wasn't aimed to be...
the-undeadcountess-646- haha! Don't hurt your knees! Thank you!
Ensnared- I am feeling better thank you! Hope this is what you were after... well... a little less... but it will come soon!
WoodElfPrincess- lol, take the small red pills that the nice doctor lady gave you and you should be fine!
Sorceress Black- Aw! Thank you! I don't know what to say to that! AWW!
Like Totally Like- Oh, if he's 17 he will be stronger than you... don't hit him... and if you do... go for the gonads!
RainynDawn- OF COURSE THEY KISS! They can't get THAT close and not kiss! lol OH I would have any form of Gerry Butler thank you! He is so fine... --dribble--
JTBJAB- I know, sorry about the chappies been the same but hey, thats how I work! Hope this was different enough for ya!
emily- Oh, stage fright chick? Cool! Hopless romantic eh? Well, truth be told so am I. Thats why I couldn't bear for them to do "it" in this chappie. It just didn't seem right!
pattycakes- Please don't be confused! They are pretty much the same but from a different POV!
SilverandSilent- You lost your dad? I am so sorry. Thank you for reviewing! I love your reviews!
Anarane Anwamane- Here it is!
Zandra Night- "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime... lead me, save me from my solitude... say you'll want me with you here, beside you... ANYWHERE YOU GO LET ME GO TOO... CHRISTINE... THATS ALL I ASK OFF...--Gasp!--
ss-slytherin- Yeah I lived in Canada for about 6 months. I lived in a small Army villiage, just up from Medicine Hat, near Calgary in Alberta. Yeah, sorry I am from England! But my grandparents and dad is German and Ugoslavian (can't spell) So I am a half breed!
Drusilla the pryo- Thank you! I am totally flattered! I hope you like this one!
YamiSuboshi- i kinda didn't fully understand what you meant by a beating from a cliffie... but hey! Thank you! You know, I don't eat any form of fruit after 7, or else I don't sleep! You are so kind, thank you so much!
starlightdreamer052000- Quickly! Here's your fix!
Lene- Not the face! Please, not the face! Ok, don't hurt me too badly for stopping them... please?
Fairy of Fire and Fury- I was there at midnight waiting for that book... only to find that... he... IS KILLED! Gutted, i cried my eyes out!
JameseMalfoy- Thank you. Now what do you make of this?
queenanneus- Well, what can I say?
phantominhell- Thank you!
CaligionousArchAngel- Oh right, thats still not too bad... kinda... but hey! Thank you!
Severus-Fan- Please don't cry! Here, take this! --hands over this chapter--
draco'sladylove- I am mean. I am a nasty spiteful person wo hates J.K Rowling after doing what she did to you know who in the new book.
MyEmeraldEyes- Sorry for the wait! Here it is!
Hevensdevil- Erm... step away from the meat clever and walk away... dont hurt me... take your pills before reading this...
Zandra Night- He isn't all that bad, I have come up with a theory that I think is right... I don't think that Sevviekins is that bad! Trust me!
SmeagulTheWeasul- --takes a bow-- Oh thank you!
Xmasgoose- Your pen name made me chuckle! hehe! Sorry for the wait!
ChanterelleSnape- Lucius is hot! So bad and naught and surprising blond... but hey! He is fine!
PotionGirlie- LOL! Thank you! I get a royal title now! The lyrics that I wrote before were "Wishing you were here again" from Phantom of the Opera. I love that song.
SnapeFan479- Thank you!