Upside-Down

TK Grimm

Chapter Eleven:

Picture

Song used: "Picture" Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow

"And you haven't talked to her since, right?"

"Pretty much… yeah," Deidara replied. He was talking to Sasori on the phone from his hotel room. It was quiet for a while. He ran an agitated hand through his hair and sighed.

"What are you going to do?"

"Give her space, I guess," he said. Barely an hour had passed since he left Sakura's apartment and rented the last minute hotel room. "What the hell does she see in him, anyway? He's not good enough for her."

Sasori paused. "It's not your place to make that judgment, Deidara."

"I know," Deidara said, frustration evident.

"Maybe you should take tomorrow off."

"Yeah…"

"Let it go. She's engaged."

"I know."

Living my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sun shine in 3 damn days

Deidara started pacing in his hotel room. Three days had passed and not a word from Sakura. The phone only rang twice. Once, he had answered it and no one was there, so he hung up. The second call was Sasori, checking up on him and seeing how he was doing.

Maybe if I hadn't told her that, he thought. Maybe… maybe things would be different.

He soon realized that nothing would have been different. He would have told her he loved her eventually, it just came out in the rage of emotions three nights before. Sakura… Every day it was the same thing. He'd pick up the phone, stare at the number pad, and set it down, unable to call her. A few hours would pass after that and he'd try again. Each time he tried to call her, he changed his mind.

Been fuelin' up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

Deidara rose up slowly in his bed and looked at the window. The curtains were open, giving a pathetically pleasant view of the night sky. What am I doing… he thought miserably. I need to get her out of my head… Damn it, Sakura…

Why, of all the damned women in the world, did he have to fall for her. Sakura was annoying, loud, short-tempered, and she nagged too much to be healthy. Deidara swallowed the lump in his throat as his mind raced around thousands of thoughts of her. But she was also smart, beautiful, spunky, caring, adorable…

He rested his elbow on his knee with his head on his hand. The list went on and on. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get his mind away from Sakura. Why couldn't things go back to the way they used to be? In high school, she was just a cool, amusing girl who he could get a good laugh from. Now, he wanted much, much more than that.

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

He looked at the photograph placed neatly in a picture frame on his end table. It was the one that they had taken of them together a few weeks before. Both of them were smiling at the camera, happy to be around the other.

Deidara picked up the picture and set it in his lap, looking at both of their faces as they smiled up at him. He found himself wishing he had just thrown the damn thing away. Looking at it every morning only tore him to pieces.

Pushing his thoughts of Sakura to the farthest corners of his mind, at least trying to, he set the picture face down on the end table. He sat there on his bed, ignoring the weight of the woman next to him on the other side. Deidara didn't even remember her name, but he didn't care. It was just another useless attempt to forget Sakura.

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

Sakura parked her car in her usual spot at work. It was Thursday, so she half-expected Deidara's Trans Am to be in her spot like it usually was. To her disappointment, his car wasn't even in the parking lot. She got out of her car and locked the doors. Her sea foam green eyes landed on the dragon Deidara had painted. She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she ran her fingers partially down its back.

Wiping the teardrop away, she braced herself and walked inside Akatsuki Studios. Sasori was at the desk reading something on the computer. He heard the bells on the door chime, signaling someone entering, and looked at her. Sakura held back more tears and tried to smile at him, but only managed a weak half-smile. He stood up and walked over to her, knowing what she was going to ask.

"Have you talked to him…?" she asked quietly.

"Last night," Sasori said.

"How's he doing?"

He gave her an encouraging smile. "Surviving." Sakura lowered her head, a few more tears escaping. "Don't worry," she heard him say softly before he wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, mimicking his action and holding onto Sasori tightly. He did so well at playing the older brother she never had. Sakura didn't know what she'd do without Sasori.

I called you last night in the hotel
everyone knows but they won't tell
but their half-hearted smiles tell me somethin' just ain't right

That evening, Sakura picked up her cell phone. She scrolled down her list of contacts until she landed on Deidara's number. Hesitating, she wondered if he would even answer if she called his cell phone. Not after what I said to him Friday… she thought sadly.

She walked into the kitchen and looked at the piece of paper on the table. Sasori had given her the number to Deidara's hotel room. Those phones don't have Caller ID, so he wouldn't know it was her, and he'd answer. She could apologize…

Deidara…

Sakura dialed the number and waited for him to answer. "Hello?" What do I say? she thought, panicking. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. A tear fell down her cheek and landed on the kitchen table. A soft click was heard through the phone line. Deidara had hung up.

The next morning, she met Ino and Hinata in the café for breakfast as always. They saw her expression and didn't bother with a 'how are you' greeting. Seeing Sakura in that state made it obvious. "Have you been crying again?" Ino asked outright.

"No," Sakura lied.

"I don't believe you," she replied. Sakura took her usual seat across from Ino and next to Hinata in the booth. Ino reached across the table and took Sakura's hand, gripping it tightly and reassuringly. "You called him last night… didn't you?"

Sakura looked away towards the floor. She nodded, barely visible, and then looked back at her friends. Both of them were giving her a sad yet comforting smile. Hinata put her hand over Ino's and Sakura's both. "You miss him."

I've been waiting on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in 3 damn nights

Sakura was sitting on her couch next to Sasuke. The two of them were watching 50 First Dates. Sasuke leaned on the arm rest with his other arm around Sakura. Sakura laid against him, trying to watch the movie and thinking about Deidara. She had told Sasuke that he moved out three nights before. When he reacted positively, she got angry. It didn't surprise her that Sasuke was just as angry as she was because he felt threatened by Deidara and the effect he was having on his fiancé.

She took another sip of her glass of wine. Sasuke was still irritated with her about how she had been acting, she could tell. Yet for some reason, Sakura didn't care. Normally, if she sensed Sasuke was upset with her, she would go to extreme lengths to make it up to him just so he would be happy.

Now, the only thought on her mind was Deidara.

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

Her eyes wandered to the photograph on the shelf. Between a picture of Sakura and Ino and a picture of Sakura and Hinata, there safely stood a treasured picture of Sakura and Deidara. Both of them were making funny faces at the camera, making her smile sadly at the memory.

In her mind's eye, she could see the other photograph she had. It was in her room on the end table next to her bed. It was the picture of the two of them leaning on the other with their heads together, beautiful smiles facing the camera. Deidara…

The movie ended and Sakura stood up first. She walked to the shelf and put the picture of her and Deidara face down. She couldn't look at that photograph… especially not now. Turning around to look at Sasuke, she asked, "Staying here tonight?" She tried hard to keep her voice light, but even with her efforts, it was rather obvious she wasn't really interested either way.

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

"No," Sasuke answered regardless. His dark eyes watched her for a moment, studying her. That always bothered Sakura. It was as if Sasuke wouldn't be satisfied unless he knew exactly what was going through her head at all times. Deidara never does that…

He got up from the couch and picked up his jacket. "I'll see you tomorrow." Not a kiss, not a hug, not even a 'good night.' Sakura wouldn't have expected anything else from him.

"Okay." Without another word, he was out the door. She looked at the diamond engagement ring on her finger and shook her head in disdain. Deidara…

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same old same how have you been
Since you've been gone my world's been dark and gray

The next day, Sakura called Sasori and asked if she could have the day off. He knew why, of course, so he didn't bother asking what was wrong. He had called Deidara the day before to ask how he was doing. Needless to say, both of them were falling apart. Sasori told her she could take off as much time as she needed, and she thanked him yet again for always being there for her.

She put on her coat and walked outside. Fresh air was supposed to feel refreshing to people, but even that didn't have an effect on Sakura. Her fridge was getting rather empty, and she realized she couldn't procrastinate going to the grocery store any longer.

As soon as she got there and approached the entrance, two familiar figures emerged. Sakura felt her heart skip a beat. Deidara and Hinata were exiting the grocery store, Hinata holding a couple plastic bags. They both saw her and walked up to her. Hinata was the first to speak, "Hey, Sakura, good to see you. I was just helping Deidara get some last minute stuff; hotel food is awful." She gave her best friend a knowing smile.

Both Deidara and Sakura didn't seem to have registered Hinata's words. How Hinata knew that Sakura was going grocery shopping was beyond her, but then again, the girl was always intuitive. Sakura twiddled her thumbs a moment before asking, "So… how've you been?"

Deidara managed the most convincing smile he could at the moment. "Not bad… yeah. Yourself?"

"Not bad," Sakura nodded, also trying to smile.

Actually, they both thought, I've been miserable since Friday…

You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were coming home to stay
I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away

Deidara looked at Sakura, eyes traveling all over her. It was safe to say she had been crying a lot lately. He vaguely wondered if she was crying for him or over Sasuke. Seeing her smile at him, however, made him smile right back. They didn't say anything; they just stood there looking at the other. Both of their minds raced through dozens of memories they shared, wishing to go back to them.

I want you to come home, Sakura thought. Why can't I say that? She bit her lip uncomfortably, begging for the words she wanted to say to just come out. She knew there was no doubting it in her mind at this point. She had feelings for Deidara, and if he came back, they would only mess with her feelings for Sasuke. She was getting married… she couldn't be around Deidara.

"Well… I better get going," Sakura said at last. A frown passed over both Deidara and Hinata's faces. "Take care."

"You too," Deidara replied. That was it. He knew that was the end for the two of them, and those deluding thoughts he had before about saving Sakura from Sasuke were now completely gone. He had to occupy his mind. He had to get over her. I need a drink, he decided, sighing inwardly.

I thought about you for a long time
can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living like this way

Sakura sat on her couch, staring at the window. Yuki was sitting on her lap, purring softly. It was as if she knew Sakura was distressed. Deidara…

Deidara was sitting on his bed, staring at the window from his hotel room on the third floor. He ran his fingers through his hair again, unable to get Sakura off his mind. Sakura…

Why is this so hard, Sakura thought, feeling more silent tears fall down her cheeks. Why can't I just keep loving Sasuke? Why do I have to feel the same way for Deidara, too?

I'm sick of thinking about you, Deidara thought. He stood up and walked to the window, looking down at the parking lot. And I still can't get you out of my head…

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home

Deidara looked at the end table where the picture he had was still face down. He picked it up and looked at it. Sakura continued smiling at him beautifully. She was so happy in that picture. I'm sorry, he thought dejectedly. Call me… make this go away, yeah. I'll change, I promise.

As if on cue, his phone rang.

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home

Sakura sat on her bed, clutching the picture of herself and Deidara tightly to her. She continued crying and looked at it. She was so happy when she was with him. She was more at ease than she was with Sasuke. She was more comfortable, and that was when she realized she wanted Deidara. The only problem was… she was engaged to Sasuke.

But Sakura couldn't deny it any more. She couldn't hold back her feelings for Deidara. She wanted him; she wanted to be with him. I'm so sorry, she thought sadly. Please forgive me, Deidara… I promise… I'll change… for you, just like you changed for me.

She picked up her phone and called his cell. "Hello? Sakura?" Hearing his voice made her forget about Sasuke, if only for a moment.

"Deidara…" she managed to whisper.

"What's wrong? Are you all right?" Sakura smiled despite her tears. He really did love her.

"No," she said honestly. "Come home… please… Deidara… I'm so sorry… Come home…"

I just called to say I love you
Come back home

"Sakura, are you sure? Don't do this just because you fe-"

"Deidara, please," Sakura whispered into the phone, her voice almost choking because of her tears. "Come home… I lo-" her voice broke off. Sakura shook her head once to recover. "I need you… Come home…"

There was a pause, but only for a second. "I'm on my way."